Untitled.

That’s all

[suicidalhampsters]

To dance on the line of..

For when does the music get so sweet the lure offers more peace then fear.

What makes the pleasure outweigh the pain?

For when does it become so simple

So black and white

Is it selfish?

Is freedom selfish?

To be free..

To be free..

To be free.

Is that what you need my dear?

May I sooth you into the ways of the sky

Deep into the earth you must land to rise

All to be free?

I feel the cold water

Smell the crisp air

For what does it mean

Oh to be free

I hear the ocean

Thumping hearts beat

How thick are your chains

Deep is your pain

Deep is your pain

Deep is your love

May you find grace

Soaring up above.

[suicidalhampsters]

Lonely with out you

So phoney with out you

Been having dreams real lately

All seemingly bout you

Heard rumors about you

Won’t hear no rumors about you

Love only surrounds you

Can’t feel nothing with out you

Ran through mountains

Just found you

Lost wandering about you

Died trying to fight for you

No trouble I’m vowed to you

No horror just love with you

[suicidalhampsters]

My heart aches for you (longing).My heart aches for you (need). My heart aches for you (desire).My heart aches for you (want).My heart beats for you (begging).

[suicidalhampsters]

One day you were given a choice most do not have to face.

Just a random Tuesday.

Keep it or leave it?

Already forced to change your life

Truth be told I left this one here for quite awhile.

Couldn’t quite think of a poetic way to end it.

In truth my love there’s nothing quite poetic of the misery placed before.

However you

Your green eyes

That grin

and your little kink for pain

May bring around a rhyme or two.

[suicidalhampsters]

I sit on the phone listening to you brush your teeth

Wondering what could be

The life we can create

Just as simply take

[suicidalhampsters]

You’re so beautiful

I could say it a million times

You can’t look in a mirror

I will look at you every second I can

You radiate warmth

I sun bathe in your presence

You have the greenest eyes

I swim in the ocean at leads to the depth of your mind

[suicidalhampsters]

Not quite sure how to wrap my head around it all. I think it’s just something I need to brush off with a laugh. No need to mourn the life that could have been. Nor make sure it’s know I’m right. No reason to stand my ground with the details that won’t amount to change. Don’t tear apart the beginning middle or end. Hear not the glimpses of truth but let it all into the wind. Feel the pull of the moon gather your strength and go with the guidance.

[suicidalhampsters]

Laugh please that sweet laugh.

Where ever you may be

It’s sound will fill with in me.

Bring me peace

Bring me depth

Please God dont take him

I look for him even in death.

[suicidalhampsters]

It’s nice, huh?

That sense of control.

When nothing else follows suit,

Almost poetic,

The choice something of such permanence.

To just chose.

The crave of control, itching harder than needles in veins.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, so they say.

But with that head of yours tilted down you’ll feel no weight.

Nor will you see straight.

You can choose to end it. Make it all the past. All nonexistent.

But every choice has a flip

Thus the irony being, if you choose to live you still have a choice that you held in the reins of control.

Permanent all the same.

Leaving you with something to gain.

You may feel pain. You may hold shame. More important you hold power. More important you must remain.

[suicidalhampsters]

Maybe one day I will read you my poems. You’ll laugh at me for having so much written in reference of you. Only to be too scared to let you know I’ve never once been able to let you go. Never once able to free you from my mind. Never once able to rid of dreams of what ouf future would hold. But first I’d have to tell you. Tell you I love you. That I’ve always loved you.

[plagueddarkness-blog]

[suicidalhampsters]

I think this is our last life together.

When we are both gone,

I will look for you in the trees.

Find you maybe in the breeze.

Wherever your energy goes

My only hope

We will not be alone.

We will always have Each Other,

May we peacefully pass over.

[suicidalhampsters]

I want to love you. I feel it. The endless possibilities. The travel. Hopes and dreams. But sometimes, something holds me back. I turn around to find the faintest string. The slightest pull, that somehow rips straight through my chest, slowly dragging me away from you. Back to Him. Is it fear? My lustful desires of wanting what I shouldn’t have? I debate myself in the matters of what’s real and what’s stemmed in my issues within that I have yet to resolve. With you there’s hope. Something new. A sense of adventure. But with Him. That undeniable familiarity. Is it just because we have deeper roots? The similar trauma that I know He understands? I know if He heard me say this he’d laugh, grin the widest grin saying, you always know what you want but yet can never seem to figure it out. I ran from him. I broke away. Twice. Twice I made the decision that it was not Him. He haunts my thoughts but fills my dreams. I always seem to know what I want. Yet can’t seem to figure it out.

I want new. I want unheard of adventure. I want someone to push me. Fight for me. Need me. But maybe this is will only find in myself. No he or him involved. Just me on my path. People come and go. I love to love and hate to hate. People come people go and I can’t hold on to them. I can’t hold onto the past or what I felt the need to escape. He was there. He was a part of what I felt the need to leave. With that I shall make peace. With that I will be freed.

[suicidalhampsters]

All the places

All the mistakes

All that stands

All that is wasted.

Love not the wrath

Love not the peace

Love not the past

Love not the ladder.

Hate not the memory

Hate not the gain

Hate not the future

Hate not the pain.

Waste not the present

Waste not the taste

Waste not the love

Waste not the fame.

Fear not the mind

Fear not the body

Fear not the soul

Fear not the divine.

[suicidalhampsters]

Be not the place

Be not the mind

Love may not erase

Left in due time

[suicidalhampsters]

You eat my love even from far off places.

Fill my cup while I’m blinded my random faces.

Touch my skin clothed thick in wool.

Rip my scars healed state of mind.

Pull heart strings planted deep grown over roots.

Hear the voice more southern than a mothers

Licks down my spine

Gives me shivers like no other.

Tear me to pieces.

Give me reasons.

To fall in your arms

To please with some other.

[suicidalhampsters]

Sail across the seven seas

Walk beyond the ocean breeze.

Hear the voice beyond the void

Listen sweet, that quiet noise.

Guidance break away the pain

Fills the air fires of flame

Lungs of love, breaths of joy

Clear the sky full of rain.

Sail with me through seven seas

Sit with me in every breeze.

Warm hearts set souls on fire

Heal in our every desire.

Wade through all blinding lights

Bring me peace in sleepless nights.