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@suitedbrawler-blog
“Why the fuck am I awake.”
AU starter for @xonismsx
If the pay wasn’t so good, Lexia would’ve quit a long, long time ago already.
This was supposed to be an easy job. She was already used to using her brute strength in fights so often that guarding someone for an honest living couldn’t have possibly been that bad. If anything, she wouldn’t have expected to get into nearly as many fights as she used to.
To be fair, it was true... technically. She didn’t get into nearly as many physical fights with others, but verbal were a different story. Even worse was that the arguments were with the person she was supposed to be protecting. Although normally people who needed a bodyguard were expected to be obnoxious, she hadn’t bargained for Isaac to be a downright spoiled brat.
Well, at least she could annoy him just as much as he annoyed her and somehow not get fired.
“Ready to leave when you are.” Her foot tapping rapidly against the floor, she made sure that her impatience was very easy to see. Looking at her watch, she added, “If you’re ever ready to leave, at least.”
"What do you mean, there's someone beside me? We're the only ones here."
“No seriously it’s–” Cyr jumped at the the faint aura she could see standing nearby, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.
“Oh great, it’s gone now. You’re telling me you didn’t sense or see that at all?”
suitedbrawler:
“Sense what? Come on, I think I’d be the first person to sense anything weird or supernatural close by here.”
She said, as she very clearly couldn’t sense what was close by.
“Listen, if you’re scared of the ‘haunted house’, you can just say so.”
Cyr’s expression soured.
“Oh yeah. Terrified. This is the face of abject fear you’re looking at right now.” But maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her. Whatever it was it was gone now. “Look, Alex right? Let’s just get evidence we can and ship out, sound good?”
[ Replied here! ]
@ardentinvestigator:
[ Continued from here! ]
Cyr’s expression soured.
“Oh yeah. Terrified. This is the face of abject fear you’re looking at right now.” But maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her. Whatever it was it was gone now. “Look, Alex right? Let’s just get evidence we can and ship out, sound good?”
The esper held her hands up. “Fine. Sure. I’m okay with that. Look, I’m just saying, I won’t judge if you are though.”
Of course whether or not Cyr was really afraid of the so-called haunted house made it far too tempting to play some tricks on her. “I’m just saying, I have co-workers who shit themselves because of spooky shit like ‘poltergeists’.”
ininxiro:
“Shoulda’ taken good care of his stuff. And I didn’t steal it, I saved it! Look at her, she’s terrified,” Kai nuzzled the cat with his cheek, a hand keeping the swiping claws from his face. “We’re best friends now, you tell Mr. Territorial Asshole if you wanna help. I don’t even know who he is if I wanted to give her back.”
He pouted when the esper seemed quick to assume he was up to no good, even though he rarely was, and needed an excuse.
“Y’all always think we demons are up to something, don’t ya? That’s kinda racist.”
“Hey! Fuck you with that bullshit! I come from a family full of demons, and I’m pretty sure I can tell a guilty demon from an innocent one, you piece of shit.” Clearly that struck a nerve. Fuming, Lexia crossed her arms over her chest, her foot impatiently tapping against the ground.
"Now you can make this easy and tell me what the fuck you were up to before you found the dumb cat, or I’ll bea--” Stopping short from there, she cleared her throat abruptly. She was on the job. Threatening to beat the truth out of someone while on duty would only make things worse. “Look, just tell me what you were doing so that I move on with my life and return the damn cat. I’m having a rough enough day as it is.”
lightofcrimea:
That sounded… sadly all too plausible. She had been sent to investigate rumors of brigands, after all, and this woman didn’t look like one herself. Noting the woman’s condition, she led her over to a large rock, sitting on it and gently guiding her down.
“You do not need to worry about that. As a Knight of Ylisse, it is my duty to aid the injured and the lost. But it is also my duty to keep the peace, so… what can you tell me of your attackers?”
Once she sat down, she slumped back, closing her eyes for a few moments to allow herself some rest. “You’ll have to excuse me for not paying much attention, but I didn’t really care about what they looked like. All I know is that they were after gold and were willing to kill for it.”
Although she was now feeling much better than before, she sat put for a bit longer before going off to find her companion. “I thought Ylisse didn’t have a bandit problem anymore. Is it normal to have some around these parts or something?”
bloodintolerant:
❝ Go to the hospital? In this economy? Where the hell am I supposed to get the money for that? ❞ Plus, most hospitals tended to turn vampires away, and not entirely for no reason. After all if anyone was equipped to deal with bleeding… it was probably a vampire. He snorted and crossed his arms against his chest, cockily awaiting the next question she’d fire at him, gazing at her with an indignant stare that soon lost all its heat when she opened her mouth. Shit.
Levi was normally a natural when it come to improv, especially when it was on the spot. Talking his way out of being caught pickpocketing? Easy. Hustling some hipster kid into buying something they thought was a rusting antique but was actually old because he dropped it in the mud and against the sidewalk about a million times? Piece of cake. But in front of a police officer when there was nowhere to run and no one else around? One had to admit that was a bit daunting.
❝ Uh… well… I’ll explain it to you. I was… walkin’ home from school and… y’know… they were waiting at the corner and they just… look, I don’t wanna name drop them, cause then they’ll come for me, right? And I’ll get another beating. And they beat me up because they don’t like me, for whatever reason. I could never guess why. ❞
A loud fart suddenly erupted from him.
❝ –woops. Sorry. To be fair, though, you made me a little nervous there, ❞ he waved a hand to disperse the smell. ❝ And uh… yeah, we’re like, five minutes away. ❞ He muttered those words, bowing his head as he made a face, knowing he’d have to finalise all the details of his next piece to ensure she would be on his side. She didn’t seem all that taken with him so far. Funny that, if anything he was being completely endearing. But maybe he had to up the ante.
❝ So… was it a busy day today? Crime never sleeps, right? ❞ He could testify, for as long as he was awake there was at least someone doing something illegal. And he only slept for an hour a night. ❝ When’d you finish your shift? ❞
Any further questions she would’ve had about the ‘bullies’ were shot down as soon as the fart wafted through the air. Cursing under her breath, she drew her sleeve to her nose and waved at the air to blow the smell away. Right. Nervous farts. Great. Breaking into a cold sweat was a common reaction, nervously glancing around, even smacking whatever was closest to one were various reflexes she’d seen people have, but farting? Well, there was a first for everything.
“I don’t finish soon enough. Holy fuck--” Taking a moment to recover, she tried to stop paying attention to the smell. She soon recovered and then went on to answer his question. If it was only five minutes until they got to his place, she could bear to indulge him for a bit longer.
“Today’s not so bad. There are a lot more quiet days than rowdy, though that’s just for my department. Shift ended three hours ago, but I’m the moron that clocks in too much overtime with how everything happens at night.” Her eyes narrowed as she glanced at him. “You’re not planning on looking for trouble after I drop you off, are you? Work is enough of a pain in the ass after hours already.”
"What do you mean, there's someone beside me? We're the only ones here."
“No seriously it’s–” Cyr jumped at the the faint aura she could see standing nearby, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.
“Oh great, it’s gone now. You’re telling me you didn’t sense or see that at all?”
“Sense what? Come on, I think I’d be the first person to sense anything weird or supernatural close by here.”
She said, as she very clearly couldn’t sense what was close by.
“Listen, if you’re scared of the ‘haunted house’, you can just say so.”
Doodle - Felucca Harris and Callista Nevin
lightofcrimea:
Elincia gasped at the woman’s condition, answering her by taking out a staff and immediately starting to heal her. She probably wasn’t bleeding too much internally, but there was no point taking risks.
“I’m afraid I have not seen anyone around here, except for you and my own comrades, but I will have your wounds taken care of as soon as I can. If I may ask, though… how did you get them?”
A sigh of relief escaped Lexia’s lips as she could feel her wounds closing up. At least it didn’t take her long to find one of the things she was looking for. “I got ambushed by some brigands way back there. You and friends might want to be careful around here. I took out as many of them as I could, but who knows if there’s more lurking around.”
As relieved as she felt, now that she’d stopped, her exhaustion was starting to wear her down. Maybe a few minutes rest won’t hurt too much before she went looking for her ally. “Thanks by the way. I was kinda hoping that I’d find a healer pretty soon, but I didn’t expect to find one this quickly. I don’t owe you anything for this, do I?”
“So like every single store and radio station is reminding me, it’s Valentine’s. Maybe Sis is right. Maybe I ought to act out on my succubus bloodline and let my hair down. Unwind and have a good time just for the spirit of the day. It’s been a while.”
“...”
“Yeah no, fuck that. I have better shit to do.”
ininxiro:
“Ahh, look at Ms. Officer’s scary face! You call that a smile?” Kai squealed in falsetto, holding the terrified cat before his face in a mocking attempt at ventriloquy.
He then cradled the creature in his chest with both arms, gentle despite its frantic scratching at his shirt. He didn’t particularly mind; he’s just going to get himself a new one after little princess here is done throwing a fit.
“I don’t wanna,” he whined, a childish pout on his face. Tears formed in his eyes almost immediately at his will, and he held the adorable animal closer. It made an odd rumbling sound, like it was trying to growl and shriek at the same time.
“I found it in a tree,” - and scooped it out of the air. He slumped his shoulders, and let out a defeated sigh. He flicked the bow around its neck. “But I guess we have to follow bossy lady’s orders. How cruel.”
The fake smile quickly slipped away. “Hey, look, I’m just trying to save your ass from the owner of that cat. Nothing pisses off that territorial asshole more than stealing his cat and thinking you can get away with it. Put that damn thing down now.”
“Then when you’re done with that, you can explain what you were doing before and try to talk your way out of whatever other trouble you’ve gotten yourself into.” With how suspicious he was acting, she had no doubt that he wasn’t up to anything good before picking up the cat. “If your excuse is good enough, I could be nice and help you.”
bloodintolerant:
❝ Centaurs, now there’s a supernatural creature that’s gross. They say I’m disgusting, but at least I don’t just poop straight on the street and–hey! What’re you doing?! ❞
It had all been going so well–why did she have to find the blood?! To be fair, it wasn’t exactly Levi’s fault. He didn’t have any other clothes to wear. There was blood on this shirt that had been fresh… about a year and a half ago. Most of it was dried a dirty looking brown, though it paired well with his stench. When it came to his answer, he figured he just had to be truthful. There was nothing about having blood on your shirt that was automatically vampire-ish. He blinked and relaxed in her grip, even raising his hands a little to show he didn’t mean any harm. He had to look his most pathetic for this to be convincing.
❝ It’s… it’s just blood, officer. Dried blood. From a fight. I got beaten up by some bullies earlier, and my nose was bleeding. I ran out of tissues. My shirt was the next best thing. ❞
Her eyes narrowed at the blood stains. They did look dried for the most part -- too dry for it to be the result of a recent fight. But that would probably explain the smell.
“Right -- first, that must’ve been one hell of a nose bleed for there to be that much blood on your shirt there, kid. Have you gone to the hospital -- reported this to the police or anything?” Admittedly she was a bit dubious that his nose was the only source of the blood. “Second, you can either explain to me or to your parents about who beat you up and why. And third, please tell me we’re close to your house so you can get changed and take a shower.”
auguratriix:
“W-Wait, no-”
Felix quickly took a step in front of the woman, biting his lip. It was obvious he didn’t intend on being rude, as the mere act of it was making him uncomfortable. He had to think of something, quick…
A flash of an image ran through his mind, and quickly, he spread his arms out to stop her, eyes never leaving the other woman’s own. “White four-door sedan, scraped paint on the driver side above the front tire, going highway speeds. About to run this red light behind me in three… two…”
And just as promised, the aforementioned car speeds through the intersection, causing a single lucky driver to honk their horn as they avoid collision. Felix’s eyes never leave the woman in front of him, and finally, he lets his arms down, a slight pout on his face.
“I’m not selling charms. I’m not selling anything. I don’t want to get you in trouble with the angry person on the other end of that line… I just want your attention for a few moments. A few moments that could potentially save your life.”
All Lexia could do was stare wide-eyed after the car that zoomed by. If she hadn’t been stopped, it would’ve been highly likely to hit her, especially if she wasn’t paying that much attention to what was happening around her.
Her eyes slowly turning back to Felix, she tried not to be too skeptical of him at first. But seeing the look on his face and how he perfectly described what would happen, it was a difficult thing to act. Maybe a few more minutes of her time wouldn’t hurt.
Hearing the person on the phone calling out to her again, she snapped out of her thoughts for a moment. “Yeah, let me call you back later.” Not taking her eyes off the clairvoyant as she then hung up the phone, she stuff her phone in her back pocket before crossing her arms.
“...Alright. You have my attention. I take it you know what’s going on?”
@suitedbrawler
“Ah, Lady Lexia- it isn’t often we see you here at the capital. Is everything alright?” Aila gave the woman a smile, pausing to check in on her.
“Princess Aila! Uh yeah, things are-- good. Great. Right.”
It threw off the Dark Knight to be greeted by the princess. She was used to people hardly paying attention to her when she wasn’t accompanying the countess of Macarath. While feeling exhausted, she did her best to look alert.
“I, uh... didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”
@lightofcrimea liked this post for a starter!
“Hey -- ‘cuse me, you there.” Limping over to Elincia, Lexia did her best to keep a brave face as she pressed her hand against her broken rib. After barely managing to fight her way out of an ambush, she was trying to figure out whether to find a healer first or to find her colleague who had gotten separated from her. “Y-you wouldn’t happen to know if there’s a healer nearby? Or if you’ve seen a dodgy-looking sniper wandering around here?”
@waywardwxnderers liked this post for a starter!
“So here’s the deal. You are going to go around the corner and get me a new cup of coffee to replace the one you made me spill all over you.”
Clearly being in a terrible mood that day, Lexia seemed to have almost completely forgotten that she was the one who bumped into the other demon which caused her drink to spill over his shirt. Luckily the drink had long cooled off, but it didn’t make her any less frustrated on having her dose of caffeine for the hour.
“Hop to it. And if you put anything funny in my drink, I promise you that I will pull down my pants and literally shit on you and everything you love.”
