Sullivan Lee's Blog Posts

Welcome to my world! I gonna share my poems, my thoughts and everything that I've gone through in my life on tmblr.. Maybe I can reach out to you and we can share a lot of ideas together!

[sullivanleeblogposts]

It's my 6 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[quotefeeling]

“How a person reacts to your sadness says a lot about how long they’re going to be in your life.”

— S. Z.

[surqrised]

“If you were happy before you knew someone, you can be happy after they’re gone.”

— Unknown

[autumncozy]

By Irena Carpaccio

[sullivanleeblogposts]

The Unapologetic Self

There’s a quiet kind of rebellion that lives inside me—not the kind that burns buildings or shouts in the streets, but the kind that refuses to shrink to fit the molds others have built. It’s the rebellion of choosing softness in a world that equates worth with hardness. It’s the resistance of staying kind when cruelty is the currency. My rebellion is in the way I carry myself with intention, even when I’m misunderstood. I am learning that I don’t need to make noise to make impact—I just need to live truthfully.

I used to think my voice had to sound a certain way to be heard. That I needed to be louder, or sharper, or more agreeable to be taken seriously. But the truth is, my voice feels most real in the quiet corners. In the margins of notebooks, in the pauses between thoughts, in the words I whisper to myself when no one’s listening. It rises when I write without fear of judgment, when I say what I mean without wrapping it in disclaimers. It’s not always polished. Sometimes it’s messy, uncertain, shaking—but it’s mine. And there’s a kind of power in that.

I’ve spent a lot of my life apologizing—apologizing for taking up space, for being too sensitive, for wanting more, for speaking too much or not enough. I’ve said sorry for things that were never wrong, just misunderstood. But what would it feel like to stop? To no longer preface my truths with apologies, to stop filtering myself to fit someone else’s comfort? I think something would unlock. I would stand taller in my own story. I would love louder, without fear of being too much. I would rest without guilt, speak without rehearsing, create without censoring.

I would become the version of myself I’ve always been underneath the layers I put on to survive.

Freedom, I’m realizing, isn’t some far-off destination—it’s found in every moment I choose myself without apology. In every time I say no and mean it. In every word I write that comes from my core. In every breath where I trust that who I am is not only enough, but necessary.

So here I am, practicing the art of rebellion through authenticity, reclaiming my voice, and learning, slowly but surely, to live unashamed.

[threalmiszlee]

Breaking the Habit

— of loving you when I shouldn’t have

you weren’t love — you were adrenaline. the rush, the risk, the wreck.

every fight was fire. every kiss, a bandage over bruises you gave me. and I kept calling it passion like that made it hurt less.

you didn’t hold me — you held control. you didn’t love me — you fed on the way I loved you.

but I’m done breaking myself just to fit inside your chaos.

I want peace now. not silence after screaming, not cold apologies in warm sheets — real peace.

so this is me — not running back. not picking up the phone. not falling for the same damn trick you always pull with your smile.

this is me, finally breaking the habit.

[orofeaiel]

Snow Falling on Evergreens

[sullivanleeblogposts]

After this, I'll just listen more. No more giving opinions. Let them face it alone.

[sullivanleeblogposts]

CREEPY STORY

Hi, Bunnies!

It's been a while since I blog here. I wanna share a creepy story I encountered since I moved to new place. Good news is I got my dream job as a teacher and posted to my first school in one of famous city. Everything was cool until on Saturday noon.

To begin with, I was assigned to school on Saturday morning for the extra class. Everything was normal until I decided to come back to my rent room around 12. I bought food and went to shower, still everything is just normal. After I was done eating, I felt so sleepy and decided to take a nap.

Well, I don't know why, I just can't get a nice nap as I keep wake up like get shocked or something. Then, I decided to sleep on my right side facing my roommate's bed. I was half-awake when I saw a pair of legs with fair legging. I open and close my eyes almost 2-3 times to make sure it gone on the first time I close and open my eyes but it's actually seems real. I was shocked and kinda scared too! I can't sleep well since that moment.

I just can't have a good sleep since I moved to this house. I don't feel it's a place I should be as no privacy, constantly get shock out of nowhere and haunted by unseen things. I feel so unsafe here and wish I making more money to move out from this house. I really scare right now!

[sullivanleeblogposts]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

It's been 4 years with tumblr. I rarely post things but I have a lot of things to share here. Thank you tumblr for creating this application as it's a really cool app!

[sullivanleeblogposts]

Dear Bunnies,

It's my birthday today and as usual I'm just okay to celebrate with my family. It's always like that and it's special because it might be my last year to be single. I really don't mind anything nowadays. Just be cool with myself and what I have.

Things changed so do I. I check myself nowadays and it seems that I just take all the opportunities and any chances to do many things. I have come out from my comfort zone and don't give a fuck. I really do all I wanna do and as well my bucket lists. It's kinda crazy and I just feel great about it.

That's all I guess. Before this end, I wish everyone a successful life, good health and always be happy! 😄

Sullivan Lee🎈❤️🙌

[sullivanleeblogposts]

Hello Bunnies,

It's been a while since my last post. I was focusing on being a writer and looking for ideas to start my writing. A lot happens in just a blink of eyes and I am really hoping for the best.

In just a blink of eyes I got someone to rely on, to trust, to understand and take care of me. Guess I found someone really important in my life now and I am blessed. Thanks and grateful to God for giving me a lot of chance and answer all my prayers all these years.

As I looking back to the past, I saw how innocent and kind i was. I can't go back to that phase because humans keep on taking advantage on me and how they made me look so stupid. However, I have seen how instant karma paid back in front of my eyes. I hate to say how my heart flattering when I saw that and even had no pity at all on them. I just wanna laugh and had a great dreams all night because of that. My dark side just had the most happiest moments when the karma works well.

Well, I just wanted update this. Great days ahead guys! I'm still working on my writing. See ya!

[sullivanleeblogposts]

Will God give the sign what to do next?

[sullivanleeblogposts]

Mimpi

Entah kenapa semalam tak dapat tidur awal dan akhirnya lepas terlelap, termimpi hampir kena santet dan bergaduh dengan penjual bunga dan sepupu yang jauh and jarang jumpa sebelah mak.

Pertama, mimpi santet ni pasal aku sedang menikmati maggi goreng dalam mangkuk kaca warna putih kegemaran aku bersama chopstick kegemaran dengan santai sekali. Tiba-tiba mangkuknya retak dan aku masih menyuapkan maggi yang surr rasanya ke dalam mulut. Aku sedar mangkuk putih kesayangan aku mula retak dan aku boleh nampak tiba-tiba ada banyak rambut seakan-akan mangkuk kesayangan aku mula bertumbuh rambut. Akhirnya, aku tidak meneruskan makan maggie yang rasanya surr itu lagi. Aku yakin aku tidak berjaya disantet pada ketika itu.

Mimpi seakan-akan ada dinding yang bergoyang-goyang seperti rumput lalu aku dibawa ke dimensi yang lain. Bayangkan aku berada di kedai bunga di tepi jalan yang menjual sejambak bunga ros merah yang menawan yang telah ditata ke dalam pelbagai warna pembalut. Aku ingin belikan kepada cinta hati aku lalu aku ambillah gambar untuk diperlihatkan kepada dia tetapi malangnya tangan aku telah direntap oleh sang penjual bunga yang berwarganegara Indonesia kerana dari gaya loghatnya sangat seperti anak Jakarta sekali. Lalu dia memasang muka yang sangat bengis dan tidak semena-mena dia menyelongkar bag tanganku seolah-olah aku ini pencuri. Kemudian, aku mengur dia dengan secara baik-baik tanpa meninggikan suara, "kalau kamu pengen liat tas aku, bisakan mintanya baik-baik?" dia tidak bersuara malah menampar mukaku. Yang namanya mimpi, tiba-tiba saja aku berada dalam sebuah pejabat yang terlihat seperti sebuah rumah juga. Di tempat itu, aku berkelahi dengan hebat dengan penjual bunga tadi. Dia maju dan terus maju tanpa belas kasihan. Entah dari mana tiba-tiba aku di tumbuk di bahagian muka sehingga mengakibatkan bengkak dan lebam yang maha dasyhat oleh abang sepupu aku sebelah mak.

Tidak berhenti sampai di situ, mukaku yang bengkak dan lebam tersebut disakiti lagi dengan si penjual bunga tadi tetapi aku terus memyerang dia juga tanpa memberi peluang lagi untuk dia mencederakan aku lagi. Mereka (penjual bunga dan abang sepupu) terus mengata-ngata aku sambil aku menghubungi kekasihku untuk datang ke satu alamat yang sepertinya tidak asing padaku dan saat aku terbangun dari mimpi tersebut, aku sudah lupa apakah alamatnya. Kemudian, kekasihku datang dan aku terus bertumbuk, bercakar dengan mereka disaksikan oleh kekasihku dan ayahku yang tiba-tiba ada. Aku menang dalam pergaduhan tersebut kerana penjual bunga telah tidak berdaya untuk bangun dan abang sepupuku juga tidak dapat bangun kerana aku belasah dia separuh nyawa. Setelah itu, aku hubungi pihak polis untuk membuat laporan dan mahu bawa mereka ke muka pengadilan untuk menuntut segala kerugian. "Biarpun korang berdua aku telah kerjakan hidup-hidup, tetap aku akan tuntut korang untuk membayar segala kekacauan dan kerugian kepada aku! Sudah lah sakit, kena bayar pula!" lalu aku terbangun setelah mengucapkan kata-kata tersebut.

Jujur, ini adalah mimpi yang sangat menakutkan untuk aku dan membuatku tidak tenang sama sekali. Mimpi ini aku telah tanyakan kepada Google dan jawapannya ada kebaikan dan keburukan yang mana aku merasakan seimbang. Kebaikan : Aku akan mendapatkan rezeki dan juga boleh menewaskan musuh-musuh atau orang yang membenciku dalam diam. Keburukan : Aku perlu berhati-hati kerana ada orang yang membenciku di dunia perkerjaan mahupun di luar dunia perkerjaan.

Aku minta kepada yang Kuasa supaya aku tidak terkena musibah. dilindungi dari orang-orang yang jahat serta diberikan kelapangan rezeki bukan untuk diriku sahaja tetapi kepada semua orang. Aminn. Semoga kalian yang membaca tulisanku ini diberikan perlindungan selalu dan terima kasih kerana meluangkan masa untuk membaca tulisan tidak seberapa dariku.

Jumpa lagi di cerita yang lain. Bye-bye!

[sullivanleeblogposts]

When I love, it's hard for me to get angry.. I just can't.. Even when I'm in pain, I just can't blurt out everything. I don't know if I am fear of losing or try to compromise for nothing.. It just hard for me to be angry even I supposed to angry.. Maybe I don't know how to love a person or I might love a person with my whole heart that it's so hard to get angry to him..

Sometimes, I feel like wanna give up and end everything.. I just wanna be single forever rather than be in a relationship that completely complicated..

I never ask for something that is beyond a person limits.. I just asked a simple comfort/support but I guess for them it just too much..

I feel like, being in love just nothing and it is hard.. I am slowly giving up.. Even having a bad day, I cannot have a word like, "it's okay", or "everything is fine".. Simple words but meaningful to me.. I feel upset and stupid at the same time with many men.. I just feel so bad for myself..

I just need to go away from them and stay in my own world that I guess more comfortable. It's always me who give my all but no one actually care.. I am upset with myself and can't resist from that.

In the end of the day, I am the one who comfort myself.. I guess I will just pile up my mind with work and work and work.. This is one of the reason why I always make myself exhausted from work.. Being workaholic is much better..

[sullivanleeblogposts]

This is my bucket list hairstyle.✅ #wolfcut #messyhair #mylife #bucketlist https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn_1BpxSGYp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sullivanleeblogposts]

They are going to be angry when you refuse to take their bullshits.. Let them be angry. Alone. Their bullshits can keep them company. - Kalen Dion