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I need to get laid soon and I'm not picky at all.

You could literally be anyone. Seriously, why the abstinence  kiddos? Stick it in someone already- with their consent, mind you.

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How long do you think until Isaac and Sam realize they're not fooling anyone?

I'm surprised the little one hasn't noticed just how close her best friend and big brother are. I mean honestly, I give it two weeks for that headboard to be hitting the wall.

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Victor is MIA again

Shocker. Vampires are notorious for bailing and running off somewhere new whenever they please. But then, where has Sean been lately? We almost miss his drama. Almost.

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Cute warlock Timothy and Lara are half siblings, so I've heard

Guess there's one girl in the city he can cross off his bedroom list.

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Ben, Bradley, Timothy, Jason, Jonathan. Elise seems to be juggling quite a few guys.

Now that Jess has gone MIA, someone needed to take the position of resident secret slut. Looks like we've found her.

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Jason got his memory of the past few years wiped and nobody knows how to fix it

That's awfully convenient.

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You all are quite dull.

I know there are things you want to share with me. People who piss you off people you're falling madly in love with- I want to know everything! Send me your secrets here.

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I get the feeling that was a stab at Jason. Why doesn't he stick to his own species? Does he get off on knowing he will watch her die?

It actually wasn't, but I'll roll with this. Eventually, there will come the day where Kyra has to choose, meaning she will have to turn, or lose him. I think they're both idiots for entering into such a serious relationship so quickly when we all are going to watch it tick like a time bomb.

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How do you think Victor will feel about all of the Ben/Erin sexual tension and them getting closer?

I think he'll just be happy neither of them are falling for any werewolves. Interspecies dating, for the win.

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What's new? More angels have appeared. Ben and Lara have patched up the friendship. Jason's disappeared without telling his lover where he went. Ben and Erin are admitting to being, what they call, 'sorta friends' and going out in public (together). Jon and Haley have been fighting. It's been exciting.

So the God-Squad is all accounted for, lovely. Now we get to see the older ones in charge get the baby angel back on track. No word on Andrew yet, he's been quiet lately.

Ben and Lara patching things up? Wow, that didn't take long. I call shenanigans, honest to god, she took away his free will, went behind his back- some friend.

Jason leaving? Oh dear, now Kyra will be throwing some tantrums. For all our sakes, J, come home soon.

I have a poll going on how long it'll take Ben and Erin to hop into the sack. Quite the profitable bet with all the eye sex those two have.

Watching 'Jaley' fight is hilarious, because it's like watching a chihuahua try and bark at a doberman. Jon seems to be trying to assert his independence, since Haley clearly has his balls in a vice. Funny, maybe that's why the little witch was bothered by Jess and Jon making out.

Give me more, darlings, this is getting fun.

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What do you think about Elise/Brad? And Timothy's jealousy over the matter?

It's always the wallflowers that get the attention. On a personal note, Bradley and Elise seem to be hitting it off in an adorable way, and I don't use the word lightly. But her and little Jon have some potential, whether or not the two see it yet. Who cares if Timmy was bit by the green eyed monster? Male privilege- being jealous and everyone thinks that is sweet. But Lara and her obvious jealousy issues with Sean and the baby angel is wrong? What is wrong with this world, I truly despair. But it does make for juicy drama.

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Things have been beyond dry.

Anything interesting for your friendly, neighborhood gossip girl? 

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Who do you think will be endgame?

Well we all know that I'm an avid shipper of Brenton and his left hand. God, I would pay to see that. It's giving me hot flashes just thinking about it.

As for the rest of the less than pleasure inducing citizens of New York:

Unfortunately, Lara and Sean are probably endgame. Have you seen the way those two pathetic things look at each other?! Doe eyes 2.0, excuse me while I vomit. They also sacrifice a ridiculous amount for one another. Quite frankly, the two idiots deserve each other.

I heard a rumour that Kyra is Jason's first love, reincarnated. Who would've thought...

Getting really into it... I think Zoey could end up bumping into Henry on campus, and really liking what she sees.

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I ship Victor with everyone.

Everyone, hey? Even the guys? I’m down with that.

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Nobody ever cares about the non-slutty girls. Like Haley or Wren or Jessica.

Boring prudes. Why would anyone be interested?

Oh come off it! We all know Jessica is a whore! She totally falls into that category, dating little Jonny when her not-so-obvious love for someone else is in plain sight. Talk about needy.

Haley on the other hand -- can't help but feel sorry for the girl. She had a best friend, but he seems to be hung up on chasing tail with Jess now. Perhaps her and Sean should hang out and hate on the world with one another. They both seem to have that 'fuck off' vibe going on right now.

As for Wren...I thought it was some unspoken rule that we don't bitch about disabled people? I don't want to go to hell for taking it a step too far.

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lara needs to get laid

Poor little witchy hasn’t got the ability to hex a man into bed with her. I would feel sorry for her — if I had a heart.

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I love the way Ben and Erin have that sexual frustration.

Oh good LORD don’t even get me started on these two. You have me reeling from the thought of that hate sex. I’d pay good money to be Erin when Ben finally snaps and takes her on the kitchen table. Meee-ow.