this month i turned 18, i spent a lot of my life trying to figure out what was wrong with me, if i was broken, if my conception was sinful, if my existence was a sin. i grew up queer in a household that valued god and religion above its children, i spent everyday praying to a god i did not believe in to fix me. i discovered hayden anhedonia’s art when i was 16, and when i needed it most, preachers daughter came to me. the first time i heard family tree i sobbed, it was like a part of me was mending. sun bleached flies is the song that changed me forever, and taught me healing was possible, my life did not have to be a full stop, hurt was not the end but rather the beginning of change, i didn’t have to resign myself to perpetual doom, i could change things, things would change. i had been battling with anorexia nervosa since i was a child, it still remains a a struggle for me now, i have faced death in my own life and it is an overwhelming fear of mine when confronting the mortality of my loved ones, this album, hayden’s artwork is what gave me the courage to take hold of my own life, she may never see this but i am eternally grateful. i have been healing, and growing and the root of that all? was preachers daughter. i had the privilege of seeing ethel cain this june, it was a heavenly gift to hear the music that saved my life. and so to commemorate the art that saved me, i have gotten the worlds most beautiful lyric tattooed on me. thankyou @mothercain
