Sundown Collaborative Theatre

MISSION STATEMENT: Sundown Collaborative Theatre strives to produce plays as holistic pieces of art that evolve from a collaborative process. We want to explore contemporary and classical theatre along with poetry, music, and dance to present...

[sundowntheatre]

the signs as musical theatre quotes

Aries: I am flame and I am fire

I am destruction, decay, and desire (Next to Normal)

Taurus: Look, I find some of what you teach suspect, because I'm used to relying on intellect, but I try to open up to what I don't know (Rent)

Gemini: Must it all be either less or more, either plain or grand? Is it always "or"? Is it never "and"? (Into the Woods)

Cancer: A dream is a soft place to land (Waitress)

Leo: I don't come cheap but the kisses come free ;) (Hairspray)

Virgo: No other road, no other way, no day but today (Rent)

Libra: Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise (Les Miserables)

Scorpio: Oh, you're gonna be wounded. Oh, I'm gonna be your wound. (Spring Awakening)

Sagittarius: When your feet don't touch the earth, you can't feel the fates that hurt. And you're free, there's no need, to come down. (Finding Neverland)

Capricorn: I don't want to fight, but I won't apologize for doing what's right (Hamilton)

Aquarius: If you want me, satisfy me (Once)

Pisces: Don't you carry nothing that might be a load, come on and ease on down the road (The Wiz)

[robinsonaden]

Kiss Me, My Fair Carousel Woman: Now Is the Season of Our Discontent

Is this really the right time for a spate of male-authored, male-directed musicals about subservient women to come to Broadway?

#MeToo isn’t just about outing men as abusers. It’s also about dismantling a system that has forced women to be silent—about giving women space and resources, and protection, to do our work and tell our stories.

It shouldn’t be used to give problematic musicals contemporary relevance, or to sell tickets to a show, or to effectively keep women out of positions of power. This is performative wokeness: producers and directors giving lip service to the idea of diversity and equality, but doing very little to actually further the cause by, you know, hiring more women on their creative teams for shows about sexism and women, or people of color for shows about race.

[sundowntheatre]

This.

[sundowntheatre]

I am an actor’s mustache

Compliment the actor’s mustache and he will accept it graciously. Sometimes he won’t even bring up that I am for a play. If you joke about me he will happily lean into it like the ham that he is. Sure he will feign disdain when a stranger calls him “pornstache” or one of his coworkers tells him he looks like a “retired cop”. But lets be honest, actors want the attention. That is exactly what I give him. The attention he craves. I place him on a stage for one every single time someone brings me up. 

That is precisely why it outrages me to hear over and over how my existence is “just for a show”. People ask him if the mustache will stay after the play closes and my actor will almost always say “I was planning on shaving it, but I don’t know now, it’s sorta growing on me”. Terrible. His jokes are terrible, and his attitude is even worse. I change him. I make him more interesting. More worth noticing. I am an instant icebreaker, something he could have used a long time ago probably. And let’s be honest. Without me he looks like a really tired 12 year old.

I just don’t want to disappear because this idiot’s production of Marat/Sade closes. 

[sundowntheatre]

Foundational Flaws

Written by Grants Director, Robert Linder

I messed up.

As Sundown’s Grants Director, I’m always on the lookout for grants that the company is qualified to apply for. As I’ve discussed in my previous blog posts, a company of Sundown’s size and budget is not eligible for very many grants so this search can get frustrating. So finding a grant application that doesn’t require a $100,000 annual budget, a five-year budget plan, or for the company to be located in a very specific place is always something I take very seriously.  Earlier this year, I missed the deadline for a grant application that I should have applied for, one that I’ve applied for the previous three years. I could try and make excuses, of course. The application process was during a couple of weeks that I was occupied with tech rehearsals and opening performances for Sundown’s production of Eurydice and I had very little spare time between working on that show and my day job. But this grant was always so easy to apply for that it really isn’t that great of an excuse. The competition would have been intense, and Sundown has never even made it to the interview stage in previous years, but the amount of funding, if we were one of the winners, would have been substantial. It was a grant I long considered right up Sundown’s alley, valid for any project anywhere in the United Kingdom or the United States. The only things needed to apply was a rough budget estimate for a particular project and for that project to be unique, exciting, and produced by new young artists. Perfect for your favorite collaborative company, yes? Yet I didn’t remember this grant until events brought it back to mind a few weeks ago, months after the application deadline had passed. In hindsight, forgetting the application turned out to be a fortunate mistake because the grant in question was for the Kevin Spacey Foundation.

I’ll spare you a detailed description of my disgust and anger I felt toward Spacey when Anthony Rapp came forward with the account of the evening Spacey sexually assaulted him. You don’t need to a recap of another privileged guy realizing (yet again) that the world was an even more awful place than he realized. There has been too much ink (and e-space) taken up agonizing over trying to separate the art from the artist and how we’re more willing to doubt victims when the accused is someone we look up to as an artist or a person. If you’re looking for a local take on sexual harassment, assault, and discrimination in the DFW theatre scene I’d recommend the excellent “Whisper Network” pieces written by Shelby-Allison Hibbs for TheaterJones. If you’re looking for answers about the greater societal problems of Rape Culture and Toxic Masculinity, I don’t have them. There is nothing I can say that hasn’t been said better by someone more suitable to speak on it. This blog is about grants.

So, what is going to happen to the Kevin Spacey Foundation? Will they stand by their benefactor? Did they know the kind of predator Spacey is or were they just as shocked as I was? Was Spacey ever in a position to victimize the employees of the foundation or the artists who were given grants? What do the 2017 grant winners think about all this? I don’t know. No one at the Foundation will answer my emails. As of this writing, the Foundation’s website and Twitter account have both been deactivated. A spokesperson for the nonprofit did respond to Variety, saying “KSF has never received any report of improper conduct either by Mr. Spacey or anyone else connected with the foundation.” It seems unlikely me, after reading the accounts of pretty much everyone who worked on House of Cards saying that Spacey was constantly groping and propositioning his assistants, that no one involved in the Foundation was aware of the predatory behavior. But predators can fool people, and for an actor of Spacey’s caliber, it would certainly be possible. Maybe the people making their living managing the Foundation are good people who were taken in like the rest of us. If that’s the case, I hope they can find better work for a better boss. But if they were complicit, if they covered up for Spacey to protect their own careers, then they owe an apology to many years’ worth of grant winners that they put at risk.

So that’s the unsatisfying ending to my post. I don’t know what went on at the Kevin Spacey Foundation. I don’t know if they’ll be giving grants in the future or if they will change their name or donate the over 1 million they reported in assets in 2015 to a charity to help victims of assault. I don’t know if I messed up, being a huge fan of Kevin Spacey, Louis CK, Al Franken etc. Did I miss something? Should I have known? Should I have at least been less shocked when the news broke? Should I feel guilty about that second in my mind where I ask myself “Can that really be true?” when I first hear about someone I respected being a creep? All I know is that I can’t know, as someone who has never been assaulted or felt harassed or unsafe at work, what the victims of Spacey (and all the other powerful men that have been exposed) are feeling. I hope they can feel better someday. I hope we can make a world where victims are believed and where predators are not allowed to become so successful that they can use their wealth to get close to vulnerable and powerless.

http://variety.com/2017/film/news/kevin-spacey-foundation-faces-questions-1202606344/

http://www.theaterjones.com/ntx/thewhispernetwork/20171127084809/2017-11-27/The-Whisper-Network-Part-1

[sundowntheatre]

Unexpected Connections

Hello Everyone!

My name is Julia, and this is my first post (one I hope of many) as an artistic member of Sundown Collaborative Theatre. I have been thrilled and have loved every moment with these wonderful people and look forward to the future. With our recent wrap-up of our extremely successful show, Bug, I felt that it was the perfect time to talk about something very close to my heart.

I can still remember the feeling I experienced the first time I was introduced to theatre as a child. If there was a word to describe what entered into my tiny, 4 year old brain and heart at that moment, I would write it a thousand times.

Growing up, my family didn’t have much, but we had everything we needed and never felt lost and forgotten in the world as far as material objects were concerned. When I was around 4 years old there was a special on TV where CATS the musical aired. Now, as a disclaimer, I completely understand why maybe that musical is not everyone’s cup of tea, but I felt totally in awe. I wasn’t really sure what they were doing, but I knew I wanted to be a part of it. My mom presented me with the best surprise I could have dreamed of when I got home from school one day, as she had ordered the 1998 movie musical VHS copy for me. We didn’t always have extra money to spend, so this action is still close to my heart. Parents, mothers especially, can possess such selfless qualities, and I believe this gift set off a chain of events that lead me to become a performer and a lover of the arts. I, of course, proceeded to annoy my family with the Andrew Lloyd Webber special multiple times a day for the next several years, learning all the songs and the dance moves—occasionally forcing my mother, brother, and actual cats to contribute, as well.  It is still a guilty pleasure, and, despite the musical’s bad rap, I defend it still today because of the special place it holds in my heart and the joy it has brought me over the course of my lifetime.

As I have grown older over the years and have dealt with my own personal struggles, I realized how much I wanted to help people crawl out of the dark hole that is depression and anxiety. Psychology and the study of the brain immediately became an interest in addition to my artistic endeavors, and the need to understand people, their actions, and their choices became a personal goal for me that I set out to become more educated on.

It was when I was in 8th grade and took on my first real acting role as Mrs. Frank in The Diary of Anne Frank that I started realizing how much Psychology and Theatre intermingle. From an actor standpoint, I felt that the more I read in my beginner Introduction to Psychology books, the more I felt that I could identify the wants and needs and actions of the characters in the story I was helping present. Expanding my knowledge of psychology has helped incredibly with character development and character creation as well. From a psychological standpoint, beyond acting being a therapeutic tool for me, I felt like it allowed me to fully immerse myself in a role and completely expand my perspective of the situation. I feel like the combined interest in both fields broadened my empathy and allowed me to set out on the path of becoming someone that looked for a deeper meaning in a lot of elements of life and with people. I’m not perfect or anywhere near, but I feel like this has allowed me to take a step back and think about peoples actions before immediately reacting or judging—something I can always work harder to do, but have always strived for.

Art is an expression, which is why art therapy and music therapy are so successful. Play therapy in children, in which the therapist and the child act out certain role play activities, can be extremely important as a means for coping with stressors. I believe, personally, that anything in life that connects us to the greater whole of our existence is so crucial. In a world that is so divided, art brings us together and teaches us that, though we have different thoughts and skills and approaches to things, that is ultimately what makes us individually wonderful. Can you imagine how horrible it would be to see the same play a thousand times performed the same way each time?

I went on to explore studies in both psychology and theatre, and continue to hope to explore both topics. I could never picture a life without theatre, as it seems exhaustingly bleak. When I think of all the plays and movies I have seen that have provided a much needed connection and have given me something to identify and relate to, I’m so grateful for the way performing has enlarged and developed my understanding and love for other people.

I think, as an artist, all we can hope for is that we can either become a cathartic release for other people in the face of hardship or that we can provide a much needed laugh. If we can allow someone a means of identifying with a moment or a piece, what a beautiful connection we have made.

As someone who has been interested in both topics, I’ve found myself being asked multiple times why I would want to major in two fields that are completely unrelated. I typically have to agree to disagree, as I feel that the two have always been very closely linked, and I am excited to see how they can continue to link in the future.

-Julia Bodiford, Artistic Associate

[sundowntheatre]

On June 2nd I attended the Greater Denton Arts Council Award Ceremony. As I’m sure we all know, securing a performance space for a theatrical production without a large budget can be an enormous challenge. Fortunately, there are amazing people who believe in local art, like the folks a GDAC, eager to offer their support. 2017 will be the third year in a row that Sundown has been awarded a grant from GDAC. As Sundown prepares to announce its tenth season (stay tuned for the details coming out in the next few weeks!) we want to say thank you to GDAC for their continued support. We couldn’t do it without them!

The ceremony itself was a blast. They served cookies, cake, and wine while local artists and GDAC members socialized and networked. We took in the sculptures and art pieces on display at the Patterson Appleton Arts Center. We saw thought provoking short films that had recently been featured at the Thin Line Festival and the Denton Black Film Festival (two other highly deserving local organizations honored with GDAC grants this year.) The organization also said farewell to longtime GDAC member and Grant Allocations chair Sandra Robinson, who is moving on to bigger things. All together eighteen organizations and two individuals (including friend and frequent Collaborator with Sundown, Cesar Velasco) were awarded grants this year. The full list will be posted on the GDAC website and you can expect great art from all of them.

It wasn’t all good news, unfortunately. Many arts supporters, not just GDAC, are concerned about a national climate increasingly hostile to funding the arts. Large organizations such as the National Endowment for the Arts and the Texas Commission on the Arts are constantly being threatened with funding cuts. That is sadly something they are used to. But earlier this year, the Trump administration’s proposed budget sought to eliminate funding the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities entirely (along with NPR, PBS, and numerous other organizations that support art everywhere, even in places that it can’t make anyone rich). This anti-arts budget was fortunately not passed by Congress which instead decided to kick the can down the road another seven months with a continuing resolution. But after that, who knows? These independent government agencies that have been investing in education and the arts since their creation in 1965 could be gone. This uncertainty makes it difficult for them to plan their grant funding.

You might say, “These organizations give out enormous grants to established theaters, galleries, and museums. Why should small not-for-profits be concerned about them?” The answer is that these organizations also offer substantial grants to be used by local organizations as sub grants. A large organization like the NEA benefits from being large because is much easier to raise funds and it uses these funds to fund large projects. It also recognizes the value of funding the arts in underserved and rural areas. The arts are an essential investment even in areas where arts are a guaranteed financial loss because the arts are critical if you want a well-rounded, empathetic population capable of critical thinking. This is common sense and has also been confirmed in multiple studies over the decades. However, large organizations are not suited to act on a smaller, local level. So the National Endowment for the Arts gives a grant to the Texas Commission on the Arts which has the local expertise to give grants out on a state level. The Texas Commission on the Arts gives a grant to the Greater Denton Arts Council, who knows the Denton Community and how to effectively disperse the funding to local organizations and artists. Tragically, next year the Texas Commission on the Arts will no longer offer the sub granting portion of their Arts Create program, which had prioritized TCA funds for organizations in rural counties. There is no way to tell at this early stage exactly how this change will impact GDAC or Sundown but the uncertainty itself absolutely limits the kinds of plans we can make.

Fortunately, Denton is a great city filled with great people who support the arts. GDAC has always been largely funded by individual memberships and donations. If you can, please consider supporting them. You can find more information at https://dentonarts.com/membership/

And be sure to check out

http://dentonbff.com/ (Official website for the Denton Black Film Festival)

http://thinline.us/short-films/ (Official website for the Thin Line Festival)

https://www2.arts.state.tx.us/tcagrant/txartsplan/SUB.htm (details the Texas Commission on the Arts sub grant for Arts Create)

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/TCA-rule-changes--grant-deadlines--Rural-Arts-Roundtable--video-making-pro-tips--and-more-.html?soid=1107006981810&aid=ODs7DXNzxYs (details the ending of the TCA’s sub grant portion for Arts Create)

https://dentonarts.com/ (homepage for Greater Denton Arts Council)

[sundowntheatre]

Italian theatre company Teatre delle Albe is bringing young Italians and African migrants together in a version of the classic Greek tale, Jason and the Argonauts, in southern Italy.

“High in the mountains of southern Italy lies San Chirico Raparo, a poor isolated town which has become the unlikely venue for a theatre project bringing together young African migrants and Italians.” Time and time again, art is proven to be a great unifying force.   Collaborative art builds bridges, heals wounds, and promotes a sense of community and support.  

[sundowntheatre]

Non-Natives Wear Eagle Feathers and “Play Indian” in Texas Musical Production of Quanah - Indian Country Media Network

Non-Indians wearing Eagle feathers? 'Quanah' musical features Grammy winners Larry Gatlin as the Old Ranger and Non-Native David Phelps as Chief Quanah

This link raises some really interesting questions.Telling the story of Native Americans  should be really important to Americans culturally, especially considering how we have treated this group of people since the inception of this country and even before. While telling Quanah Parker’s story is important how can non-Native actors portray this story without appropriating their culture? How can we tell a Native American story if no Native actors show up to the audition? Should the project be abandoned in that case? Is it acceptable that this show was not written by a Native individual?

[sundowntheatre]

Symbols

A symbol is a tangible thing that represents an intangible idea. A heart for love because we feel ours breaking. Water for renewal because we need to feel clean.  Symbols let us use our senses to perceive and understand that which does not manifest in a physical form. They are magic. Everyday magic.

A teacher first showed me this magic. I don’t clearly remember the first time I became enchanted by the magic of a symbol, but it must have been a powerful revelation because I have devoted my career to discovering them and helping others to unearth these treasures from mere words. I’m an English teacher. Of course, this was not the career I dreamed of when I was young and idealistic. When I was young and idealistic a different kind of magic held my fancy.

Find your light. It’s an expression used by theater directors when their painstakingly cast actors stand in a place on stage that throws shadows across their painstakingly chosen faces.  Actors can’t see if they themselves are well-lit; it’s more of a feeling. “…There. Feel that? You’re in your light now.” A teacher first guided me to that spot, too. What a glorious place to be!

In my light.

I never wanted to leave it.

But as the show must go on, the show must end. I had to be practical if I was going to incur the expense of a college degree. I’d only get one chance, so I had better make it count for something. Well, I ended up majoring in English. Oh well, I am who I am. I like stories.

And I like symbols. So, after what I affectionately call a “sabbatical” from the theater I began timidly dipping my big toe back in, and now I’d say I’m in up to my waist. I’m doing PROPS.

I used to do a lot of props crew. It’s what they’d let me do when they wouldn’t let me be the one in the light. Being near the light would have to suffice most of the time. Now suddenly I have a new found appreciation for props. They are the tangible objects, the symbols in the show. I am again part of the magic.

Sundown’s final show of this season is Eurydice by Sarah Ruhl. A retelling of the Greek myth from the perspective of the title character, this play is rich in symbols. As the props designer, I collect these symbols for your viewing pleasure. Of all the important objects in the play, the very first things Director Nicole Neely asked for were six gigantic umbrellas. I leave it to the audience to unearth the magic in these symbols, but as a hint, @betterinthedarkblog has shared Ruhl’s essay on this topic here:

Sara Ruhl “On Umbrellas On Stage”

I imagine your faces lit by your screens as you read this post. I hope we meet in the dark to enjoy together the objects, the actors, the words,  and the light, to experience the tangible and intangible, and to know the magic.

Jane Schaab, Sundown Collaborative Theater Associate Member

[sundowntheatre]

What Theatre Taught Me - Breaking Character

What has theatre taught you? We asked, you answered.

Hey guys! It’s Daniel Bryant-Gawne, a new associate member with Sundown! To introduce myself a little bit, I have a BA in Drama with teacher certification and I have a background in educational theatre as a teacher/director/technical director. As I studied theatre and education simultaneously in order to teach the art form I fell in love with, it became really clear really fast that theatre was like the “universal subject” in school. It literally covers every single topic of study in some way, shape, or form in some applied manner. Math, Reading, Social Studies, History, Science, Psychology, Home Ec... and the list goes on and on. I was very excited to not only be teaching an art form I love and respect, but rounding out my students’ educations with connections in all other areas of study was also satisfying. I kind of felt like the glue that held their educations together. 

But, this “rounding out” isn’t just a school thing. It’s a life thing. Theatre is not just a universal subject within the walls of a school building. It is a universal subject in the real world, too, and it is literally available to anyone to be a part of! Theatre practitioners are some of the most well-rounded individuals I have ever met and it’s because our experiences deal not only in the realities we face personally, but deal also in creating believable fictional worlds that resonate with an audience. The experience of play-making is one you cannot find anywhere else and the experiences you have through it would not be had otherwise. 

So, I encourage you beautiful theatre-loving people: When you approach a new piece of theatre, it’s not about the acclaim. It’s not about how “good” it is (which is subjective, anyways). It’s about what you learn from it, either as an audience member or practitioner, but most importantly as a person. Approach every theatrical experience with the mindset of: What can I learn from this? How can I grow? What effect does this work have on me?

I have personally been a part of approximately 70 productions in my theatrical career and each time, I have learned something new that has made me better personally in some way- I learned a new skill, a new attitude, a new understanding, a new perspective, etc... Let theatre teach you! The possibilities are truly endless and I doubt that even dedicating my entire life to this art form, I will never fully know all there is to know and I will never grow bored of my own education in the theatre. 

Stay creative! 

Daniel Bryant-Gawne

[sundowntheatre]

Hello loyal Sundown tumblr fans! As we draw to the end of what many of us consider to have been a very bleak year, there are a few bright spots that I’d like to bring to your attention.  Firstly, Sundown has been honored for the third year in a row with a generous grant from the amazing folks at the Denton Benefit league! The funds will go towards covering Sundown’s perpetual greatest need; performance and rehearsal space.

Sundown will be renting the Point Bank Black Box Theater for the performances of Eurydice, by Sarah Ruhl. We at Sundown have been looking forward to this project since we chose our season almost a year ago!  Nicole Neely will be directing this classic myth rewritten for modern times with a strong and fascinating female lead that explores the themes of death, love, memory, and the importance of family. If you want to get involved with what is sure to be an amazing production, keep an eye on our facebook page for updates! Auditions are currently scheduled for January 23rd and performances will be the last weekend of March and the first weekend of April.

I know we all listen and read a lot about how thankful various people are for various things this time of year but I want to pile on just a little bit more thankfulness here. I’m thankful that Sandra Robinson, all the rest board of directors, and the members of Denton Benefit League are doing everything they can to support the arts in Denton. They give out grants to so many important Denton organizations doing vital work feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and providing educational opportunities for children. It is inspiring to me as an artist that they believe our tiny little theatre company has something to offer this community.  I’m also thankful for the citizens of Denton whose donations and volunteering funds a significant portion of Denton Benefit League’s budget. For a community to thrive it needs the investment of its citizens. To learn about or volunteer for Denton Benefit League, please visit http://www.dentonbenefitleague.org/index.html

Thank you everyone. Happy Holidays!

[sundowntheatre]

Written by Artistic Director, Chloe McDowell: I don't know about y'all, but I've been having a bit of a tough time since the election. I feel tired, frightened, and beat down by the events of the last few weeks. We have some tough times ahead of us as artists and, in my opinion, a responsibility. A responsibility to each other, and an obligation to keep making our art in this time of despair. My partner (who is much better than I am at articulating complex thoughts and emotions) wrote a thing...I've found it helpful, you may as well. This is the link: http://burlycon.org/five-truths-artists-working-times-despair/ We at Sundown Collaborative Theatre are a little quiet right now, but we're just gearing up for this upcoming year. #cantstopwontstop

[sundowntheatre]

          Hello faithful Sundown fans! It’s time for another grants update and we have terrific news for you today. Sundown is very grateful to be able to say that we have been awarded a Community Arts Grant by the amazing folks at the Greater Denton Arty Council.  This is Sundown’s second year in a row to receive the grant and we are thrilled to have GDAC’s continued support. This year’s grant will be going to a partial funding of performance space rental for Sundown’s September production of "We All (Still) Make Mistakes; The B Side": A Drunken Mixtape Sundown's 5th Annual(ish) Short Works Festival, as well as the April production of “Eurydice” by Sarah Ruhl.

          I attended the award ceremony and saw a lot of familiar faces and organizations in the Denton area. This year several groups were selected to perform short pieces of music, movement, or to show selections from their films. It was a great evening of supporting local assist’s and mingling with the people who are committed to  keeping Denton exciting, diverse, and interesting. So from myself and everyone at Sundown I want to sincerely think the Greater Denton Arts Council and all of their supporters. If you want to learn more you can check their websites below.

http://www.dentonarts.com/

http://www.arts.texas.gov/

http://arts.gov/

[sundowntheatre]

SWF Teaser!

     We here at Sundown have been busy this past month!  We held auditions for our 5th Annual Short Works Festival, “WE ALL (STILL) MAKE MISTAKES, THE B SIDES: A DRUNKEN MIXTAPE”, cast all the pieces, and jumped right into rehearsals.        This festival is running for 4 weekends, and is a wonderful mixture of original short plays, devised movement pieces, and spoken word.  There will be drama, comedy, poetry, tennis racquets, green beans, a clown, and so much more!  This is not only a great opportunity for so many people to come together and create art, but also a fantastic opportunity to support over a dozen original works.        Now, I think it’s time for some teaser photos!

     What’s going on here?  What’s that clown doing?  What’s the significance of the tennis racquet?  …is that a lizard eating a dorito?  And what the heck is with the green beans?? 

      This is just a tiny taste of all the amazing pieces we’re getting ready to share with you! Come on out and find the answers to these questions and so much more!  Did I mention the audience will be creating their very own drinking game each night as the show progresses, lead by our very own, super-talented Artistic Director Chloe McDowell??  Come out, have tons of fun, and support collaborative, original art!

[courageousvulnerability-blog]

Yesterday, I considered leaving theatre.

I’m emotionally exhausted. I go to bed with excruciating headaches because I can’t help but think about every single thing I’ve done wrong in every audition I’ve had this week. Re-meeting people in audition rooms that I’ve “met” six times gets old. My life is blessed with a flurry of incredibly talented friends that, while I am INCREDIBLY proud of them, I can’t help but feel jealous and heartbroken when I don’t measure up. Money would be nice. And so on.

And then I went to rehearsal last night for The Fantasticks at The Firehouse Theatre, where I’m easily having the best rehearsal experience I’ve had in years. It’s a rarity to have a cast, a crew, and a group of board members that care as much as you do if not more. I’m treated with respect on all fronts and permitted to explore Luisa’s character and the piece itself. It’s a dream. For every hour I’m sad during the day because I feel like a failure, I’m allowed a few hours of magic every night. There’s a certain solidarity in lighting up your brain and remembering why you are where you are. But everything ends. And when I no longer have this little family, I’ll go home and try to remember what it felt like to feel like I was doing something wonderful, which is all theatre really is; a moment of something wonderful.

I know what you’re thinking—you DRAMA QUEEN, get it together and create your own opportunities. Life is MORE than theatre. You have actual family members and friends that love you all the time. Okay cool, I know. Thanks for that.

There’s a scene in The Fantasticks where the ancient actor, Henry, is saying farewell after performing the Abduction Ballet. After encouraging the audience and his peers to see him not as he is, but as he desires to be seen, he bathes in the glow of a spotlight and reminds us to “remember [him]—in light!” It’s easily my favorite scene and I can’t help but think… is this my life? Is this what I want? To be scraping for a bit of light for the rest of my life? When it comes down to it, do I really know how to fight for anything else?

I don’t know the answer.

So I’ll continue trying until that last shred of hope disintegrates into nothing or develops into something. I’ll encourage my community and delight in their successes. And when I’m by myself and feel myself sinking, I’ll close my eyes and remember myself in light; doing something wonderful.

[sundowntheatre]

Today is a reminder that good things end so that we can remember them as good things.

[sundowntheatre]

Tonys: Four Black Actors Win Best Musical Performances for First Time

Take that, Oscars. As the Academy is just recovering from its #OscarsSoWhite fiasco, stemming from its all-white acting nominees, the Tony Awards set a new benchmark in diversity, thanks in large p…

The beauty of this is I didn’t even realize what was happening. In my mind, I was just PUMPED because they are all amazing performers. This is why I love theatre.

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