✎a/n: NOT PROOF READ BC I NEEDED TO POST IT AND ALSO BC IT MIGHT BE KINDA BAD? IM SO OUT OF PRACTICE AAA. this got way longer than i intended,,, i hope u enjoy and sorry about the wait!
✉: honestly after reading your jealousy post, it just makes me so sad for Solomon!! he was my first choice, the reason I started playing Obey Me, no matter what, he was always my first choice (sorry Mammon! Still love you too!). And that way you said he “somehow” got you from the demon rulers and he mentions this in game too, really hits home… I just want something with Solomon knowing he was always my one and only <3 That my eyes have always been on him and no one else!!
Solomon cannot picture a life settled down – and yet it’s right in front of him. He’s always had to fight for affection, to second guess every intimate relationship, and almost always distances himself. Yet, somehow this time it found him. For so many years he has avoided any close connections with other humans, knowing that he will ultimately have to move on without them. If anything, it makes him feel inhuman, but you choose to be with him anyways, hell, even fight to make him accept your love and it’s indescribable and he is terrified.
Suddenly, the collected, highly reversed and witty sorcerer is tripping over his own words and even his feet, this time not knowing how to escape or avoid intimacy with a clever quip. He’s always been one step ahead of everyone else, but now he’s running to catch up with you, and he can’t quite keep up because he swears that every time you look back at him his heart skips a beat. But you’re always just a little too far – he finally has you all to himself, and now he can hardly keep up with the emotional demand of holding the almighty title of boyfriend to the charming exchange student, the devildom’s own ray of sunshine. How long before you realize you don’t actually like him, that you don’t deserve him, that you were only ever attracted to him because you had humanity in common? He’s behind on the times anyways, it’s not like you have much to relate to, given that your parts of the world and the times you’ve spent in your realm are drastically different. Is all that you really have in common simply your anatomy?
You’re surrounded by hoards of effortlessly charismatic and powerful demons. Demons who flock to you, who argue over who will be your number one, or your protector, and they already have so much more to offer than him. No matter how hard he tries, Solomon is only a pretender here. Everything he has achieved, he has spent centuries working for, disregarding relationships in the meantime to reach his ultimate goals. And yet, it comes only naturally to the bachelors vying for your affections. You’ve even got a fucking prince on your roster, and yet you choose the lousy human? Surely, it must be pity, or it must be a moment of weakness on your part.
Solomon is loud in his affections, but mysterious in his convictions. He’s mastered the art of deception over the years, and given what little time he has to spend with you while you tend to the demon brothers’ every need as their new attendant, it’s hardly a task to save face with you despite his inner turmoil. He’s fighting a losing battle, unsure of his two options, and feels like he’s going to tear into half wondering if he should just let you fly free to be happier without his commitment, or to steal you away all for himself, to run away with you and eliminate all other competition by being selfish with your love.
And so he sits idly in the empty Cocytus Hall, tapping against a cold cup of tea with an absent mind in a desperate attempt to numb himself. Each rapping of his sore fingertips against the ceramic leaves a hollow rattling that echoes down the hall, at first causing his ears to ring, but now only leaving him feeling sedated. He’s in a trance, lost in thought (or lack thereof, for the first time in his many years), and is unphased by the sound of your arrival matching his subconscious tapping. Solomon only comes to when you take a seat across from him, the scratching of the wooden chair against the stone floor interrupting his monotony. He offers you a smile, ingenuine but kind nonetheless.
“How was your day?” he mumbles, eyes still fixated on the obscured window beside him, beams of moonlight peaking through the shades and illuminating the otherwise dim environment. You often wonder how Solomon’s expressions reminded you so vibrantly of the moon, his dark eyes always lighting up at the sight of you – but now they won’t even meet your own, looking more empty and dazed than anything else.
You gaze down at your hands, disheartened. The days were long and tiring, and the brothers demanded so much of you on a daily basis – not to mention, they were constantly vying for your attention, filling you with guilt for neglecting Solomon in favor of some not so subtly crushing demons. It gave you at least a small joy to return to your shared space in the late evenings, being able to release the stress of the day and let Solomon take it on in your stead.
“It was alright,” you sigh, “no different from usual. I missed you, though. A lot more than usual. I’m just so tired”. You rub your temple with the palm of your hand, attempting to obscure Solomon’s seemingly careless figure from your sight for just a moment, afraid of whatever potential bad news he has to spill. With you gone so long, for so many hours of the day on top of the stress of being in a different timeline – no, it’s too hard to think about.
“Mhmm… that sounds very tiring” without truly acknowledging what you had said, Solomon keeps his unfocused gaze fixed on the drapes, showing no reaction despite his typical charisma. You huff, not being used to having to redirect his attention to you, slightly upset that he doesn’t bother to slip an ‘I missed you too’, or even process that you had been speaking to him. “Solomon, are you okay?”. Gently, you set his ice cold tea cup down and tap his hand, finally stirring a response from the desolate sorcerer.
“Yeah, yeah… ‘m just watching these uh, birds”. You sigh, feeling your stomach churn a little. What the hell is going on with him? He’s always so forward, so open and honest, and it breaks your heart to see him clearly lost in thought, hiding something from you. You prepare yourself for the worst, but press further. “Solomon – you do realize the curtains are closed, right? You’ve been staring at them this whole entire time”. Unable to deny his avoidance any longer, Solomon’s trance is broken, but once he catches your saddened expression he can’t bear to look at you, so he picks back up the tea cup. An unusual behavior for the man who exudes confidence and charisma, you feel a lump begin to grow in your throat, making every nervous swallow pang with a throb.
“Oh”. Solomon appears nervous, for perhaps one of the first times in his life, at least that you’ve been able to witness in your time together. He knows he’s caught, that he can’t hide anything from you. No, not when you’re as kind and attentive as you are. It’s selfish of him to inadvertently demand your attention and concern in his delusions, especially when you’ve had such a long day of tending to the house of lamentation’s business, and he curses himself for not simply guising his feelings like he typically would. God, it’s just so hard around you to save face the way he usually would, though. You care for him so intimately and make him feel so safe and seen – it’s a mission to be able to lie to you.
“I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied, then. My apologies, y/n.”. He chuckles, low and short lived, the weight of his confession heavy on his chest as he anticipates how to approach the conversation he knows is inevitable. “I’ve been lost in thought. Perhaps about you”.
Confirming your assumptions, at least partially, you feel yourself break into an anxious cold sweat, feeling a chill take you over in the freezing Cocytus Hall. “I see…” you gulp, suddenly wanting to save yourself some pain and abandon the conversation entirely before Solomon can affirm your worst fears. “Well, what is it about me? You seem… unwell over it”.
Solomon’s breath hitches, and he is for the first time in his life speechless. How is he supposed to continue, to just casually drop that you’re better off without him? “You know dear, I’ve been thinking… maybe even for a while now. I don’t know if this is what’s best for you. I don’t want to hold you back, especially when you have such an important goal here. What matters most is that you’re able to reform your pacts, and I don’t want your commitment to me to hold you back”.
Before he can continue, you begin to choke up a little. So it’s true, then. Solomon is breaking up with you. You know he has more to say and you want to be able to be mature about this and hear him out in his entirety, but your body convulses with the power of your first few sobs. “Is that really it, then? Are you… breaking up with me?”
Solomon wants to reach out for you so badly, to take you into his embrace and console you and give you the world for having ever upset you, but he restrains himself in spite of his heart. His head should know better, and should know that he needs to start distancing himself from you if you are to truly be happy. But first, he needs a complete answer – “Not quite, but I just–”
“What did I do wrong?” you question, unable to keep from interrupting in your despair. “Did I.. did I do something? Is it because I’m gone so often, because I don’t want to be… it’s been a dream to be able to spend this time here alone with you… I didn’t want for any of this, but I was just glad I got you out of it! So please… what did I do wrong, Solomon? I thought we were happy”.
Solomon feels tears prick the corners of his own eyes as you plead with him, suddenly feeling the spark reignite in his chest when you exclaim your joy to have been with him. “No, no! It’s nothing you’ve done, please… you’ve been perfect in every possible definition of the word. I’m… I just –” Solomon sighs, seeing the words in his mind’s eye but not sure of how to punctuate them, but knowing he must do it soon for fear of your emotions spiraling.
“You’re better off without me – I mean that. You can be happier without being tied down with me. I have too much going on, you have important duties and God, look at you. You’re gorgeous, y/n… you have high ranking demons going at each other’s necks trying to be your number one, people who could give you the world and then even more desperate to be with you. And you have them here, and at home… in our own timeline. I could spend tenfold more lifetimes working towards my goals and I still wouldn’t have nearly as much to give you, even if I gave you my everything. You’re too kind for me; I’ve been so selfish with your love, but I just want you to be happy… that’s all I want. You don’t have to lie to yourself or burden yourself with me. I mean that”.
You’re completely stunned by Solomon’s words, so much so that you can’t even cry anymore. Of all the things that you imagined him saying, you never had this cross your mind. Solomon is always one to carry himself with refinement and grace, and a gentleman-like attitude that plays off of his mischief to balance him out into one composed and revered figure. But here he is before you, moonlit eyes glistening as he spills his heart out to you, his insecurities that you never even *knew he had*. For so long, he’s been harboring these feelings of inferiority, letting him eat at him to the point of trying to let you go after spending so long chasing after you.
“Solomon, what – what are you talking about?” You look at him with a look of puzzlement, cheeks still wet with tears and mouth slightly agape in pure surprise. “Burden…? Is that how you see our relationship? With how long I’ve waited to be with you… I can’t believe this. Oh God, did I make you feel this way? Solomon, please – I don’t know what you’re talking about! You have so much to offer, you’ve given me so much just with your company alone. This all fucking sucks, but I’m at least glad I finally got some one on one time with you out of it, please… I can’t do this without you. You’re the only reason I’ve gotten this far to begin with!”
You’re nearly out of breath, nearly even shouting, emotions taking over your better judgment of words flowing out of your mouth uncontrollably like a fountain of truth. Solomon is bewildered by what you have to say – had you really wanted him, too? Even before Nightbringer brought you here…?
“Why… me? Why do you choose me, in both our true time and now? I thought surely, you must be attracted to me because of circumstance, but are you telling me you chose me back then, too? Out of everyone you could possibly have to choose from, who would eagerly accept you, you wait to be with me?”
“Yes!”, you exclaim, standing up from your chair abruptly and leaning over the table to get closer to your boyfriend, taking his hands into your own and your presence forcing him to finally look you in the eye. “Yes, Solomon, I choose you, always, God! You’ve always been my first choice, hell, my only choice, since the moment I met you. Circumstance only made the feelings unbearable and more convenient, but… I’ve wanted you for so much longer than now”. You’re almost panting, now, exasperated from the intensity of your reaction, fueled by your love and admiration for the man in front of you, and the sadness that he’s been burdened by feeling unworthy of you.
He looks at you wide-eyed, but it only takes a few moments for his lips to finally curl up in a devious smile that only a human such as him could wear so well. Without a moment to spare, Solomon finally lets his heart get the best of him, pulling you across the small table to take you into his arms, holding you with all the strength he had reserved for containing his feelings for you for so long, reveling in the comforting smell of you.
“Well, I’m sorry for being so low, then”. Drawing back to take a look at you, Solomon wipes your remaining tears with his thumb, tucking locks of stray hairs behind your ears to take you in better. “I choose you, too. In the past, present, and future”.
