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[sunflowerssoulmate]

The gardens of my soul have blossomed

and withered,

both within one heartbeat.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

He does not want me, still I remain.

A nihilistic phantom gliding by unseen; absorbing every move he makes, imbibing the air he breathes, mesmerised by his very being.

Stuck, within a perpetual blurring of actuality and reveries, cursed by an everlasting ache for more.

Oh, how I will him to do something.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

I arrived when the ground was still cloaked with frost. Now I suffer amidst the light of spring, yearning for autumn's obscurity instead. Somehow, it feels much more grim when the sun cuts open my wounds, rather than the rain.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

Waves of melancholia crash over me, leaving wariness in their aftermath.

Instead of battling, I surrender and float.

Here, within the midst of the storm, I am home.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

I cringe from the weight of my own words.

To name myself a poet feels presumptuous, an act of self-importance that I am not sure I deserve.

It is true though, that my heart holds a softness and emotions consume me whole. Constantly I find myself yearning for approval and simultaneously recoiling from the attention it brings.

So here I will stay; safely hidden between the pages of my notebook, seeking refuge in the very art that both liberates and suffocates me.

Embracing the paradox, I continue to write.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

I am nothing if not a poet.

I am drowning within myself.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

oh, I love him I fear

[sunflowerssoulmate]

No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

You bruised my soul with sharp edged lies and shattered my heart with waves of rage.

-N

[sunflowerssoulmate]

Your veins brew lightning, trying to escape. And I wish you could see that you’re nothing but art.

[sunflowerssoulmate]

You are poetry

[sunflowerssoulmate]

I’d be his, if he asked

[meanwhilepoetry]

“It’s not that you ruined me. It isn’t, because I refuse to let my love be named anything other than courage and no one gets to take that away from me, not even you. I will not regret how deeply I loved you, even if it ended in my broken heart. So no, you haven’t ruined me. It’s just that every poem I write still tastes like you. And I am trying to change that. All while having grace in my heart while letting you go.”

- Nikita Gill, Excerpts from a book I’m writing

[sunflowerssoulmate]

I was treading water, trying neither to drown nor to swim to safety, just staying in place, because here was the truth.

[quotefeeling]

“Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

[sk-lumen]

[sunflowerssoulmate]

I still find pieces of you in the back of my mind.

“Talk” - Kodaline