Nothing true - all made up, literally lol
They’d been the eternal, supposedly seamless triangle forever; Lisa looked after Ant, Ant looked after Dec & Dec, well he looked after number one.
Lisa had grown to put up with their shenanigans over the years though it often got the better of her especially when they flounced off without her.
Times like when they’d return from filming away & instantly announce a golf trip, then she saw red, ‘after all these days away & you’re going away again - to play golf - with Declan? What about me?!’
‘I’ll make it up to you sweetheart, I promise,’ was the usual out.
‘Boys & their little balls!’ she’d shout knowing full well she was beaten & they’d go anyway.
But she did love her husband & her life & she knew that Dec would always be part of the package; he’d always been there & always would - though what depths his friendship went to with her partner she wasn’t quite sure of - but she had her suspicions.
Whatever was going on privately she didn’t let her concerns show & as far as everyday life went it ticked on as normal until her marriage was put to the test….
‘Are you alright Decs?’ Lisa asked as she cleared the dinner table, ‘you look a bit pasty love.’
‘Yeah, I’m ok, just got a bit of a headache that’s all,’ Dec moaned as he kicked back his chair. ‘Feel sick actually….oh….’
He leapt across the kitchen & just made the sink.
‘Excuse me,’ Lisa gagged making a hasty retreat, ‘I don’t ‘do’ sick - sorry; Ant - sort him out & don’t forget to bleach that sink thoroughly when he’s finished.’
With Lisa well out of earshot Ant resumed his usual husbandly - or was that motherly - well whichever - his dominant role, ‘what’s brought this on little fella? You were fine earlier?’
‘Don’t know,’ Dec blurted in between retching, ‘head’s killing.’
‘Perhaps stay here tonight Deccy?’ Ant suggested as he lovingly rubbed his shoulders.
‘Can I? I feel rough,’ Dec mumbled attempting to lift his head from the sink.
‘Course you can angel - you know that, anytime ok - you don’t even need to ask.’
‘Is it safe to come in now?’ Lisa yelled from the hallway, ‘no nasty surprises of any sort in there I hope?’
‘It’s all clean Lise, you’re quite safe.’ Ant said as he gave his pal an innocent looking tap on the back to cover his movements. ‘You don’t mind if Deccy stays tonight do you? He’s not feeling well & it would save me having to nip down the road all the time to check on him.’
‘Since when have you needed permission? Mi casa es su casa Doolittle - you know that.’ Lisa replied curtly having caught the tail end of the comforting. Dec nodded & smiled graciously as he hovered still bent over the sink, just in case.
‘I’ll sort out the bed but I’m afraid Declan is down to you Ant - like I said I don’t do sick.’
‘Just as well we didn’t have kids then sweetheart,’ Ant said pecking Lisa on the cheek.
‘We don’t need kids,’ she whispered returning the kiss, ‘we’ve got Declan, remember?’
Dec heard the comment but ignored it; he felt awful & needed his friends. Lisa had always tolerated his close friendship with Ant, reluctantly at first admittedly, & for that he was grateful but Ant had been his friend long before hers so he didn’t see it as muscling in.
Once the vomiting had ceased Ant helped his wobbly partner to bed, ‘you’re shaking,’ he noted as he supported him on the climb to his bedroom.
‘I know, I can’t stop jangling, I’m so cold.’
‘Maybe it’s ‘flu - it came on so quickly?’
‘It’s nearly April Ant - you don’t get ‘flu in April do you?’
‘Probably not - it was just an idea, a bug then maybe…?’
‘Yeah, a twenty four hour thing. I’ll be as right as rain in the morning.’
‘You’re fingers are white & absolutely freezing,’ Ant noticed as he automatically held Dec’s trembling hands.
‘They feel funny - you could hit them with a hammer & I don’t think it would register at the minute.’
‘I think I should call a doctor…’
‘Nah, don’t be silly man - it’s a bug. They’ll not be too happy to be called out for that.’
‘I don’t care if there’re happy or not - you are not right & I’m calling someone out, end of.’
Further protests fell on deaf ears & a short while later an irate doctor left the McPartlins after confirming that indeed Dec did appear to have a bug.
Lisa disappeared to bed annoyed at her husband for making such a fuss & a bother to begin with. ‘You can’t call someone out for things like that,’ she snapped, ‘that doctor was extremely hacked off, it was embarrassing.’
'Dec lost the feeling in his hands Lise - it could’ve been serious for all we knew.’
'Even Dec told you not to call but you wouldn’t listen - you knew better - & you always bloody do where Dec is concerned, you’re like an overprotective mother fuss-arsing all the bloody time & what’s even worse is that he lets you! Goodnight!’
Ant didn’t have the energy to argue back & he left her to stomp off in a huff opting for a final check on his house guest instead.
‘Promise me you’ll sleep baby? I’m only across the landing if you need owt ok?’
‘I’ll sleep …..I’m sure, so very tired - it’s weird. That doctor wasn’t happy…’
Ant kissed his hair & lingered probably longer than he should have. ‘That’s what they’re paid for Deccy so I don’t care - I wouldn’t have been happy if I hadn’t called him, so there. Do you want me to sit with you for a bit?’
‘I’m alright Ant, honestly, there’s no need - go to bed, Lisa’ll be waiting.’
Ant tapped the spare bedroom door early next morning, ‘hey sleepy, how are you feeling?’
‘I don’t know Ant - I was sleeping in case you hadn’t noticed but you woke me up to ask me how I am!’
‘So Mr Snappy isn’t on top of the world I’m guessing?’
‘You don’t wake someone up to see how they are Ant.’
‘They do in hospital Decs.’
‘But I’m not in hospital am I? I’m in your spare bloody bedroom so please let me sleep!’
Lisa appeared with some tea, ‘how’s the invalid?’ she smiled setting the mug down.
‘Grumpy,’ Ant answered with a grin, ‘as he always is when he’s not well aren’t you Deccy?’
‘Which part of ‘I’m tired’ is so hard to bloody understand?!’
‘Holy hell Doolittle, you are in a rip,’ Lisa said pulling Ant away, ‘come on husband, let’s leave him to it. We’ll leave you in peace Dec - drink your tea, there’s sugar in it - sweeten you up a bit if that’s possible…’
‘That wasn’t exactly subtle Lise,’ Ant said once downstairs.
‘Well he’s always the same babe, we look after him, give him a bed for the night but it’s never enough. A thank you now & then wouldn’t go amiss.’
‘He’s just tired & under the weather sweetheart - one of those is enough to make him irritable but the two together is never going to be a good combination as far as Declan is concerned.’
‘Well I hope he goes back to his own house tonight dal, it would be nice to spend some time on our own occasionally. ’
‘I’m sure he’ll be fine later, he’ll have to be - we’ve got rehearsals this afternoon.’
‘Rehearsals then Dec gets dropped off at his own house right? I’m making that special beef chilli that you like.’
‘Yeah, ok, Lise; I’ll make sure Dec stays at his own tonight - we’ll have a cosy evening ok, just the two of us….’
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