27 Red Flags of Low Value Men (LVM)
In previous articles, we have established what constitutes a High Value Woman, the dating commandments of a High Value Woman, and the most common obstacles that hold us back from implementing such dating strategies. But in order to replace our toxic dating habits with healthy ones, it is equally important to have a clear understanding on the difference between a High Value Man (upcoming articles on that next) and a Low Value Man.
Remember, this system of values is not about qualities that people are born with. It is not something outside our power that we have either inherited or not. Instead, this system of values is something that we all develop for ourselves, choose for ourselves, create for ourselves. It is about values, beliefs and principles. It is about priorities, morals and mindset. It is about good manners, empathy and emotional intelligence. And that is the responsibility of each and every individual.
And if you hold yourself to high standards, you should absolutely do the same to everything else in life, especially a partner!
Here are the most common red flags of a Low Value Man, so you donât have the learn the hard wayâŚ
Too much committment, too much adoration too soon is a tell-tale sign something is off. It can be a marker of insecurity, of unhealthy idealism or obsession. It can also mean they donât actually see you for who you are, but are infatuated with an idea, an ideal, a fantasy. Not a crime by itself, but it foretells a relationship that will lack a stable, healthy foundation. Instead it will be a relationship built on how you make him feel, on what the idea of you means to him. Is that the kind of man you want to be with, or the kind of relationship you want to be in?
The escalation of lovebombing. Just months, weeks or evend days in, he will already be discussing engagement and marriage and kids, and paint a fairytale fantasy with such dedication that you may wonder if itâs too good to be true.
Such soulmate stories are certainly possible. However, if he promises the sun, moon and stars (which is all great) right off the bat, and other issues start popping up one after another, you should be on high alert! Other red flags can be: inconsistent behaivor, blowing hot/cold, his words (all beatiful fairytales) not aligning with his actions (not actually showing interest in your passions, aspirations, goals, not actually listening to you, making you cry on multiple occasions and lacking empathy in his reaction to it, etc), and any of the ones below.
First, letâs review what gaslighting actually means: âGaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.â â Medical News Today
To exemplify, he may gaslight you by saying phrases likeâŚ
âYouâre making a big deal out of nothing.â (invalidating your feelings)
âItâs just in your head.â (making you question your ration and discernment)
âYouâre overreacting.â (downplaying your feelings)
âYou shouldnât be upset/affected by this.â (trying to control your feelings or tell you how you should feel)
Someone who exhibits gaslighting behaviour needs therapy, and will never make you feel truly safe or be beneficial for your wellbeing (and mental health) until they have sorted through their issues.
If theyâre not listening to you, if theyâre not initiating interest in your day, hobbies, skills or interests; if theyâre not congratulating or hyping your achievments and success; even worse, if he shows signs of envy over said achievements, and actively belittles or downplays them, in an unhealthy sense of insecurity and seeing you as competition (when in fact they should be on your team cheering for your success) . . . itâs time to take the hint. They donât actually care about you.
5. No respect for boundaries
Disrespecting boundaries, challenging them, debating them, finding counter-arguments for them â if he does any of these things, he lacks basic respect or understanding for boundaries. He may say things likeâŚ
âWell you need to face your anxiety with ___ and just do it, then youâll be fineâ
âCome on, I know thereâs chemistry between us, why follow some stupid traditions & old values instead of enjoying the moment?â
In either case, this is a person that believes anything is negotiable, including your feelings, thoughts, privacy and dealbreakers⌠Read more
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