arden aldridge isn’t really sure if her compulsive need to be liked comes from being in the spotlight or if it’s something that predates that. she’s always been a try hard, but apparently never realized how truly impossible it is to please everyone until this very moment. the week she’d discovered internet trolls was a rough one for her, but, after a brief social media cleanse and a fair amount of crying, had been able to accept that not everyone was going to like her. but autumn jamison is different. autumn jamison seems to want to dislike her, and that is something that arden cannot deal with. it’s something that bugs her day in and day out, like a scab she should let heal but always finds herself picking at. why can’t the other girl just give her a chance? a fair shot to show her that she’s worthwhile.
they’re done filming for the day, and arden technically could have left an hour ago. but something has been keeping her there, pacing around her trailer while her mind races a mile a minute. for some reason the world feels like it’s crashing around her, and, even though it makes no sense to, she blames autumn for all of this. for all her stress and anxiety, for the frustration that she’s become so familiar with. the girl is just so rude, and for some reason that gets under arden’s skin unlike anything else. truthfully she can’t even begin to fathom why she cares so much about one person’s opinion, why she so desperately needs her to like her. realistically autumn jamison should just be another face in the crowd to her but she’s anything but, and she can’t ever seem to get her off her mind. finally she decides to call it a night, although she leaves her trailer huffing and puffing.
she spots her across the lot, probably getting ready to go home herself. arden knows that she should leave well enough alone, that nothing she says will change anything and that she’ll have to face the girl at work the next day. but she just can’t help it, and before she even realizes what’s happening she’s running towards her. “what is your problem?” she’s yelling, and she’s not entirely sure if it’s so that she can be heard or if she’s just plain angry, or maybe it’s a bit of both. “why are you so determined not to like me? what have i ever done to you, huh?” arden is getting closer now, and, quite frankly, she’s not sure what her game plan is. in a match of insults or anger there is no possible way that she can beat the other, so she’s got to do something else.
finally she’s standing in front of autumn, her hands loosely balled into fists and her face pouting. “you-” she starts to speak but doesn’t know how to complete the thought, so she cuts herself off. should she just go home and pretend this never happened? she probably should. but instead of turning around to leave, arden takes a step forward. not an impulsive person by nature, this is all as surprising to her as it is to the other girl, and, before either of them has any time to realize what’s happening, she’s pulled her close and their lips are colliding.
arden isn’t sure how someone so mean can feel so inviting. she feels herself melting into the other girl, the anxieties and stress that normally weigh her down floating away with the breeze. she’s got one hand on autumn’s waist to hold her close, and her other hand is tangled in her hair as their lips crash together like waves. arden is kissing her like her life depends on it, like ryan gosling just ran to rachel mcadams in the rain. despite all of the conflicting feelings swirling around inside of her, something about this just feels right and she doesn’t want it to end. in this moment, standing in an empty studio back lot, time just seems to be standing still and nothing else matters but the taste of the other’s lips.
she doesn’t know what will happen when she pulls away; all she knows is, if this is what it’s like to kiss autumn jamison, she wants to kiss her all the time.
