The third installment of Lost and Found Part One Part Two
Warnings: Mentions of torture
Reader’s POV
A week had passed since you first woke up in captivity. You couldn’t count how many times the black droid had tried to coerce the location of the memory card out of you. The Imperial Officer came to visit you at least once a day to see if you changed your mind about betraying the rebellion, but you weren’t breaking easily. Your voice hurt from screaming and you hadn’t had a shower in days so the grime of the past week’s events seemed like a permanent layer on your skin. You lifted your head and looked at the cell walls before resting your head back on the seat’s uncomfortable headrest. You wanted to think it was just a nightmare and that you would wake up in your room at the rebel base, but every morning you woke up to the harsh reality of being a prisoner of war. Not for the first time, you thought of Cassian, if he had made it out and back to the base, whether he got the memory card to the rebels, whether he thought of you. It had occurred to you that you may have developed feelings for him, despite your best efforts. You knew it was dangerous to form attachments to people in a war. You knew things like this could happen, and you could lose them. But you couldn’t help it. Cassian had become a constant in your life, someone to lean on, and it hurt that he didn’t trust you. It hurt that he would never know how much he meant to you. You started to cry as you realized that no one was going to come rescue you.
“I’m sorry Cassian.” You whispered. The tears leaked down the side of your face, leaving visible trails in the mix of dirt and blood. As if on cue, the door opened and in walked the Imperial Officer, the black droid accompanying him.
“Well, it seems like we finally made some progress with you.” He smirked as he approached you. Bending down so that his face was level with yours, he made the same request that he did every day, “Tell us where the memory card is.” You looked at him through blurry vision and said nothing, your mouth clamped shut. The officer waited a few moments with an expectant look on his face, then he sighed and waved over the droid, which was already ready for the torture planned for this response from you. As the droid got closer, you started to squirm, dreading what was coming. The officer backed against the wall and watched as the droid hovered closer, your squirms and whimpers seemingly enjoyable to him.
“Alright, Alright!!! I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you!!!” You shrieked before the droid made contact. The officer grinned menacingly before stepping up to shut the droid down. He looked over at you expectantly as you sighed in relief. “You have to come closer; it hurts to talk.” The officer stepped closer to you, the greed in his eyes evident. “Closer.” Your voice was so hoarse from the past week. He leaned in to hear you.
You had no intention of telling him where the rebel base was. If this was to be your last act of defiance against the Empire, then you may as well deafen one of its prized officers.
“GUESS AGAIN YOU FILTHY PIECE OF FODDER!!!” The officer lurched back at the loudness of your voice. You glared at him with every scrap of defiance you had left, smiling ever so slightly. He rubbed his damaged ear drum as he glared back. He walked suddenly over to you and before you had time to register what was going on, he knocked you out with a swift punch to the side of your head.
Cassian’s POV
Cassian had requested permission to rescue you immediately after he heard the transmission. General Draven denied the request twice and so Cassian had to appeal for an audience with Mon Mothma for permission. Because she was so busy with government diplomacies in the Galactic Senate, she was a hard woman to meet with, even as a Captain. Cassian had to wait three days until he could finally meet with her.
“Captain, I don’t think we can send a team out to rescue Y/N. It’s too risky and we don’t have the amount of people or resources to support a rescue mission like this.” Cassian’s heart felt like it dropped about ten feet at this news, but he wasn’t done trying to save you.
“I’ll go alone. I don’t need a whole team to do this, just K2. She got us the memory card, we have to try to get her out.” The argument had a small bit of merit, but it was the pleading look present in Cassian’s eyes that convinced Mon Mothma to let him go. She knew that he would most likely try to save you anyway. At least this way she could keep an eye on him.
Cassian ran back to his quarters and grabbed the necessities: the coordinates of where you were, a blanket, a spare shirt, and two jackets before alerting K2 of the plan.
“The statistical probability of us being caught is around 88.3%. I don’t think this is a good idea.” Cassian ignored this information and continued on his way to his ship. K2 sat down with Cassian in the cockpit and began to start up the ship as Cassian closed the door. Soon they were on their way to the Destroyer you were imprisoned on.
Cassian switched on his radio once they were at light-speed and tuned it to the frequency of the bug the rebellion had planted on you. He got the frequency just as you screamed in the ear of the officer.
“GUESS AGAIN YOU FILTHY PIECE OF FODDER!!!” Then Cassian heard the sickening sound of bone hitting bone and silence. He flipped off the radio and sat back down in his seat trying to focus on how he was going to get you out.
Awhile later, they pulled out of hyper-speed and saw the massive Star Destroyer looming in before them.
“I hope you have a plan.” K2 muttered.
“Yeah, me too.”
Reader’s POV
You woke up in a daze, still in the chair. The flickering lights hurt your eyes. The thought flitted through your mind that you may be concussed, but it hurt to think that hard. Everything was out of focus.
You weren’t sure how much longer you were stared at the wall in front of you when the door opened. They are here to kill me, was the only thought that crossed your mind. A figure appeared at your side and you flinched away from it.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay it’s me.” The soothing voice seemed familiar and too good to be true.
“Cassian?” You asked weakly. You felt the restraints on your wrists and ankles pop open and you began to fall forward but were caught by a strong arm.
“Yeah it’s me, it’s Cassian. Let’s get you out of here.”
“Okay.” You mumbled as your arm was hoisted around Cassian’s neck and his other hand held you up from around your waist. The two of you made your way out of the cell and down the hallway. The officers and troopers that noticed the two rebels escaping didn’t make it very far. K2 wasn’t far behind Cassian, and while he didn’t have a blaster, he could toss the Imperial troops around like rag dolls. You made it back to the ship with virtually no problems, but before you could say anything else, you passed out from the effort it took to get to the ship.
The next time you woke up, you were in the med-bay of the rebel base. You had an IV in both of your arms, and your head was wrapped up in white gauze. Your stomach ached, but it didn’t matter; you were overjoyed that you were out of the horrible dark cell. Turning your head, you noticed a person sitting in the chair who was watching you. Cassian jumped out of his chair when he saw you move your head.
“Thank the maker, you’re okay. How are you feeling?” He asked with intensity. The look in his eyes shocked you; it was almost desperate.
“I’m okay, a little banged up but hey, could have been worse right?” Your voice sounded scratchy but it was much stronger than before. “Thank you, for coming back for me.” Your eyes met again. Cassian grabbed your hand in his and leaned on your bed.
“I’m sorry for not trusting you. And… I’m sorry for not coming to get you sooner. I just. I didn’t realize what it would be like to lose you until it happened. I…” Cassian seemed to be at a loss for words. You smiled.
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay. I hoped you were. I couldn’t stop thinking about you—“ Before you could finish your sentence, Cassian leaned in and kissed you. Your free hand found its way to Cassian’s hair as you kissed him back. When he finally pulled away, you both were grinning.
“Do you trust me now?” You said with a playful hint to your voice.
“Completely.”
Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! :) This was my first fic I’ve written and I am really excited about how it turned out.
Summary: Backstory to the fight Cassian and Jyn have after Eadu
Warning: Character death, angst
A/N: Haven’t written anything awhile, but just watched Rogue One again and wanted to write a backstory to this scene! It’s kind of dark, but hope you like it.
We ran down the dark hallway, following Jess to her ship, getting further away from the cell we had spent a week in. My injured leg was slowing me down; I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.
“How much further?” I call ahead.
“Not much! We just have to get to the end of this hangar and we are homeward bound!” She yells back over her shoulder. The fact that the rebels had decided to focus on this star destroyer at this specific moment was just too good to be true. The force must need us for something. My breath was getting ragged and I could tell that Cassian was tired too. The lack of food and water for the past couple of days was taking its toll and quickly. We turned another corner and I can see the space open up at the end of this last corridor. Almost there. Cassian grabs my hand and pulls me toward the entrance to the hangar. We have to pull off to the side, wasting precious seconds for our escape to let technicians and mechanics fly past us, back into the depths of the ship.
“Lucky us, there will be no one left in the hangar.” Cass says, his voice low. He gives my hand a quick squeeze. I squeeze his hand back, giving him a small, excited smile. Even though we are so close to leaving, I begin to feel a sense of uneasiness and dread. After the last of the Imperial workers exits the hangar, we rush to our escape route. Each step we take is quicker than the last, knowing we don’t have much time left before this whole ship blows. We make it halfway across the floor and stop, shielding ourselves behind a support beam in the middle of the space.
“That’s my ship right over there.” After taking off her imperial hat and loosening her jacket, Jess points with her blaster to a small cargo ship maybe 200 feet away. “I am just waiting for these guards to move from the fighters on our left.” Cassian and I peer around the lieutenant to see four stormtroopers inspecting other, larger imperial cargo vessels. To our right, the fuel containers used for topping up the ships started to creak, adding to my need to get on Jess’s ship and at least a lightyear away from this star destroyer as quickly as possible.
“Is there any way we can distract them?” Cassian asks. I can see the gears turning in his head, always trying to strategize.
“Guys I really think we need to move soon.” The tanks opposite us becoming noisier by the second.
“Y/N we can’t move until we figure out this trooper sitch.” Jess says. I start to move out from the support beam into the open floor space to get a better look. All the stormtroopers look very occupied with their inspections, hasty to get things set before they got the order to evacuate, an order that was imminent.
“They aren’t looking we should just make a run for it.”
“Y/N/N, hang on a second.” Cassian sounded as anxious as I felt. The feeling in my chest that something wasn’t right was so tight I almost couldn’t breathe. I reach for Cassian’s hand and try again.
“Cass, I think we should—” BOOM. Blinding yellow light from my right was the only thing I saw as I was slammed backwards into the cement support beam. Something shot into my side, but it was nothing compared to the sickening crack that could only have been my skull hitting the beam before everything went dark.
I hazily regained consciousness. I don’t think much time past because I could still feel the blistering heat from the explosion of the fuel tanks. I couldn’t see. I feel the panic rising in my chest and try to movie my hand up to my face to wipe away whatever was in my eyes that was blinding me but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my hand to my face. I couldn’t move anything.
“Y/N!!!!” My heart felt like it was caving in on itself. I had never heard this level of fear in Cassian’s voice for as long as I had known him. “Y/N, Y/N are you okay? Oh my God.” I could feel his hands on my skin ever so lightly, grazing my forehead and cheek. But it was a far away feeling, one that I wasn’t quite sure had actually happened. I felt a dull but deep pain in my right abdomen, and my head felt so, so pressured. I tried to speak but the words wouldn’t form. I couldn’t move my mouth.
“Y/N talk to me PLEASE. Say something, move a finger, baby anything.” He was panicked now and so was I. I couldn’t do what he asked and I wanted to so badly. I feel as though my whole body was shrunk into my head, like my legs and arms and the rest of my body was sucked back up into my brain. Cassian kept trying to have me do something, anything to show him a sign that I was alive, but I couldn’t and it was killing him.
“Baby, I need you to stay with me. I need you to stay alive so that I can propose to you. I have the ring and I have been planning this for months so I need you to pull through for me so I can do that okay? Can you do that for me please?” His voice broke on the last word and I can feel his arms on my shoulders, desperate for a sign. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I wanted to give him an answer, even one tear would do it. Nothing.
“She’s still got a pulse, we’ve got to get her on the ship. It’s the only way she has a shot Cass.” Jess’s voice. She survived too. I felt myself lifted from the ground and the wound in my stomach started to throb and my head felt like it was ready to fall off.
I was set down on something hard. I had to assume we were in the ship now. My mind was getting foggy.
“Stay with me. Stay with me.” Cassian’s voice was low as he set down to work next to me. I could faintly feel something soft wrap around my head and a cool substance began to fill in on the back of my skull. The same cool sensation was just barely felt on my wound in my side. Bacta. My heart felt like it could soar. There was a chance I could make it. Jess called from the cockpit.
“How is she?” Her voice sounded really far away. “She is still breathing and has a pulse. I’ve got bacta patches on her wounds, but the sooner we get home the better. You better fly as fast as you can.” Cassian gripped my hand but the sensation in all my limbs was faint. The blurriness in my mind was inching closer and closer together, threatening to take over completely. That bacta better work faster.
“I love you. I love you so much, you’ve got to stay with me. You’re all I have left.”
I wanted to tell him that I loved him too; that he was the only one I would love for the rest of my life. I wanted to tell him that yes, I would marry him when he asked, and that we would see the end of the war together. But my lips wouldn’t cooperate. I couldn’t even feel his hand on mine anymore. Breathing was getting so so hard. I was so tired.
Cassian’s POV
“No, no Y/N, Y/N, stay here, stay with me. Please, stay with me.” I grabbed her hand so tightly I was sure I was breaking bone. I couldn’t feel a pulse. “Y/N breathe. Breathe for me.” My voice broke on the last word. She was gone. She was gone and it was my fault. If I had just listened to her in the hangar we would have all been safely heading home. I flinched when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Jess didn’t move her hand, she just slowly kneeled down beside me. “I am so sorry.” And I broke. I fell back onto the ground, face in my hands. This was my fault. I don’t know how long Jess sat there with me, one hand on my shoulder, but when I looked up we were just finishing up landing procedure.
The med team came aboard and gently lifted Y/N up and onto a stretcher, covering her body with a sheet. All I could do was watch as they took her away from me. Someone helped me up, I don’t know who, but they guided me down the ship ramp and back onto solid ground.
“Who is that under the sheet. Who is it. WHO IS IT???” I heard a man’s desperate voice yelling and looked up. Two people were holding back a young man, Y/N’s brother, who was screaming at the top of his lungs. My fault. He looked up, saw me, threw off the mechanics who were holding him up, and made a straight line over to me. “HOW?? YOU DID THIS. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER. TO KEEP HER SAFE. HOW COULD YOU.” He delivered a swift right hook and was restrained before he could do anymore.
Soaked, Cassian did a mental tally of those on new ship they had hijacked. It looked like everyone made it back onboard. “Ion thrusters low until we cleared the storm.” He instructed the droid.
“Understood.” K2 immediately jumped into action at Cassian’s instruction. Before Cassian could say anything else, Jyn cornered him.
“You lied to me.”
“You’re in shock.” Cassian stated matter-of-factly. He just wanted to get off of this planet. Off of this cargo ship as soon as possible. Jyn, however, had a mind for a fight.
“You went up there to kill my father.” Shit. He looked away from her.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Deny it.”
“You’re in shock, and looking for someplace to put it.” I know the feeling. Cassian tried not to think about the accident so many years before, but he was failing. Jyn was persistent. “I’ve seen it before.”
“I bet you have.”
“They know. You lied about why we came here and you lied about why you went up alone.” Cassian was so exhausted from the events of the last day and a half that he snapped. “I had every chance to pull the trigger. But did I? Did I?”
Jyn was just as angry. Cassian recognized the fire in her eyes. It was the same fire that Y/N’s brother had in his the day he brought his sister home for the last time.
“You might as well have. My father was living proof and you put him at risk. Those were Alliance bombs that killed him!”
“I had orders! Orders that I disobeyed! But you wouldn’t understand that.”
“Orders? When you know they’re wrong? You might as well be a stormtrooper.” The last comment hit so close to home that he couldn’t fight it anymore. The memories came flooding back. His family. His friends. And Y/N, the only person he had left to fight this war with, dying in his arms.
“What do you know? We don’t all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something. Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you? Some of us live it. I’ve been in this fight since I was 6 years old. You’re not the only one who lost everything. Some of us just decided to do something about it.”
Word count: 13.6K (my longest one shot EVER sorry guys I hate myself)
Summary: You have known Cassian for what seems like your entire life, and you have loved him almost just as long (without him knowing of course). What happens when a member of the Rebellion approaches you and tells you that he has just gone missing? How far would you go to protect and save the one person you care about more than yourself? And what does this mean for you and Cassian after?
Warnings: NSFW 18+, graphic depictions of torture (beatings and knife TW), smut BUT THEN FLUFF AT THE END
A/N: Inspired by a few requests that we from so long ago, thank you for the two anons and @fanfiction461 for bearing with me I am so sorry it took this long I have been wanting to write this for so long but I just couldn’t until now.
I also just want to thank @spectre-leader @firefeatherx @jesus-buck @woakiees @damndamer0n @damerondjarin and @tintinwrites for listening to my rambling, helping me with this fic, and encouraging me to publish this and for entertaining me with their reactions. I really appreciate you all. And I want to thank all my readers who have been patient with me throughout this ordeal, now it’s time to get back to my other fics lol.
GIF by @jynandor
The smell of various foods being cooked and the chatter of merchants trying hard to sell their merchandise to the dwellers walking around surrounded you. Were you hungry? Sure, and the delicious smells weren’t helping. But you had no time to stop.
Looking over your shoulder, you pulled your bag up higher as you continued to be unnoticeable during your walk through the crowd. It was second nature to you, trying to appear as a member of the crowd when in reality, you were capable of taking out any one of them who came up to you.
But that’s not what you wanted. You just wanted to make it back to your room at the inn you kept for yourself— frequent payments going to the innkeeper to ensure that no one ever takes your room. Bouncing between worlds was what you normally did; getting any information you could that you knew would be useful against the Empire. But this was the one place you might even consider home.
Finally making it to the inn, you immediately knew something was off once you reached your room. The small trace of mud right in front of your door caught your eye, and you could smell the faint scent of a cigarra leading into your room. The innkeeper knew enough not to ever bother you, and you knew for a fact they didn’t take up a smoking habit.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Turn (TV 2014)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Benjamin Tallmadge/Original Female Character(s)
Characters: Original Female Character(s), Benjamin Tallmadge, Caleb Brewster, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton, Tench Tilghman, George Washington, John André, Peggy Shippen, James McHenry (1753-1816), John Laurens, Washington’s Aide de Camps, William “Billy” Lee (Turn), Robert Townsend (1753-1838), Basically everyone at Valley Forge
Additional Tags: American Revolution, American History, Historical Accuracy, (kinda), Valley Forge, Mutual Pining, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Angst, Found Family, Period-Typical Sexism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Major Character Injury, Me taking you on a tour of 1778 Pennsylvania, I suck at tags
Summary:
“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”
Elizabeth Walker knows her place in the world, but that doesn’t mean she is happy with it.
That doesn’t mean she is happy to be staying- to be sheltered- at her father’s estate while he deals with congress in York, and her older brother, Joseph, deals with the parties and games of Philadelphia, while she makes sure her house stays put- and out of British hands.
And that doesn’t mean she is happy to be dragged into the war itself, after months of defeats outside Philadelphia, when finally on a cold December night, a dying soldier shows up at her door, and his commanding officer follows.
But, deep down, a part of her is happy when it means change- change in the war, change in her life- when she is recruited by the young, passionate, and downright angry Major Benjamin Tallmadge to help revive the army’s dying supply system and keep the men staying at Valley Forge alive.
By whatever means possible.
Hello, and welcome to another SS&SP one shot! This one is a bit different than the others, as it takes a place in 1779, a little more than a year after the initial events of SS&SP (but no major spoilers, I promsie!). It’s your first sneak peek at happy, married Ben and Liz, so I hope you enjoy! I think this is what of the cutest thing I’ve ever written and I love it. Thanks for reading SS&SP!
SS&SP scene under the cut!
Middlebrook, New Jersey, February 8, 1779
“I want to give you something.”
She was waking up in camp.
The morning light was coming in through the windows, the curtains drawn open, allowing in the sunlight and unfortunately bringing the cold with them. She didn’t care- she relished the sunlight, for as long as she could. She was still holding onto the rules of the previous camp- the rules of the valley had become a part of her, and the familiar sight of soldiers and snowy stone houses made it appear as if nothing had changed, as if a year hadn’t gone by. If she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she could see herself, standing in General Washington’s office in the crowded first floor of the Potts house, nodding patiently and agreeing to the ground rules, the one agreement he had made with her. In camp by sunrise, gone by sunset. Sunlight had turned into a rare commodity, like everything was that winter, as coveted as cloth and flour. She had to take whatever amount was given to, whatever she could keep close. But you don’t have to now, Elizabeth, she told herself. You can stay, Elizabeth.
The camp was hers, now. She could wake at sunrise, in a bed in Greene’s quarters, and follow the same schedule as the army. She didn’t have to struggle to follow along, didn’t have to desperately try and fit in. She could welcome sunset, throw herself into the night- the night was completely different, now. It was not lonely, it was not dreaded, it was not achingly quiet. It was bright and lively. She spent the night with officers on the same side as her, with her closest friends- people waited for her to arrive, people wanted to see her, people wanted to talk to her. Patriot parties, where she wanted to be, where she belonged. She didn’t have to rush into Philadelphia, hook a lobsterback’s lips and be home by midnight.
She was safe.
She was safe, and she could stay.
You can stay with him.
Benjamin.
She was waking up in camp.
Last night was not their first night together in months. It was not a dramatic or romantic reunion- she made sure to see him daily while he joined Washington in Philadelphia, arriving at Laurens’ house just as they were waking up. She wanted to be the first face Benjamin saw. She wanted to welcome him to Philadelphia, the way it was always meant to be- not a ghost town occupied by the British, but a bustling hub of activity under the watchful eyes of the Patriots would founded it, who still believed in it.
Washington’s decision to meet with Congress had been a gift she didn’t anticipate, but greedily took as if he had done it especially for her, a silent thank you, an unspoken gesture. When Benjamin wasn’t working, when he wasn’t torn between Middlebrook and Philadelphia, he was with her. He was with her, spending the long winter nights together in Walker Manor, a roaring fire in front of her bed. He was with her, dancing at whatever ball was being thrown, carrying into the carriage when she was too tired to stand. He was with her, in their Philadelphia, in their Valley, in the world they had created.
It was as if he had never left it.
She was waking up in camp.
It was not their first night together, but she woke up with her hand on his side of the bed- reaching for him, begging for him, a habit she didn’t remember developing and a habit she couldn’t let go of. He always woke before her, left his side of the bed cold, giving her no warning. He was a master of stealth in the mornings. He could rise, wash his face, shave, and dress without even so much as a single creak on the floors or the distant door opening as he left. She never stirred, never realized he was leaving- even if he said goodbye, even if he kissed her cheek or threw the blanket over her. His gift was a blessing in the valley. It was how they had gotten away with it for as long they did. Now, she hated it. She wanted him to make as much noise as he pleased- he could start a riot for all she cared. Anything to let her know he was leaving- a signal, a warning.
Anything to let her know he was leaving, and it was her chance to try and convince him to stay.
She was waking up in camp.
Benjamin.
He was sitting on the end of the bed, his head turned to face her, his eyes staring at her. He was already dressed for the day, his uniform freshly washed and pressed, his boots polished, his face clean shaven and his hair tied back neatly into its perfect soldier’s queue. Even if they had been married for close to a year, even though this was not the first time she saw him in what never failed to seem like an eternity, he was still stunning, he was still so beautiful that seeing him first thing in the morning took her breath away. What had she done to deserve it? What had she done to deserve him? Her first love, her husband, waiting for her to wake, watching her sleep.
Her mind was never humble, You gave yourself to the cause when you gave yourself to him. That is why you deserve it.
No, she reassured herself, you did what was right, and were rewarded for it, when you didn’t think you needed to be.
“Good morning, Benjamin,” she said.
He smiled when he realized she was awake, staring back at him. It was softer than the sheets underneath her. “Good morning, Elizabeth.”
She rustled the blankets, throwing them open across the right side of the mattress. “Come back to bed.” It was foolish to ask, but she had to try. If she did it enough times, maybe he would finally break one day. She could fight a war of attrition as well as Washington.
Benjamin shook his head and sighed sadly, “You know I can’t do that.”
But he was still smiling as he said it.
“Why?” She asked coyly, “Are you keeping Washington waiting? I am sure he won’t mind, if you tell him it was because of me. I am one of his favorites, after all.”
“And I do not have that special privilege, dear,” Benjamin replied. “And, besides,” He leaned forward, his eyes giving her a once over as he spoke, “if I got back in bed, I couldn’t be convinced to leave.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, Elizabeth.”
“Just for a moment,” she pleaded.
“Just for a moment, Benjamin. Just for me.”
Her husband eagerly complied.
She giggled as he crawled back into the bed, the blankets and sheets tangling underneath him as he returned to his original spot. He propped himself against the pillows, inhaling a deep, slow breath and crossing his legs, his arms tucked behind his head. He looked slightly ridiculous, completely comfortable next to her, but wearing his full uniform, boots on the bed. She could’ve scolded him for his impropriety, but she was the accomplice. He was only doing what was asked of her.
“Come here,” he said, pulling her close until their bodies were pressed together. She exchanged her pillows for his chest, curling up and letting his hands find the flimsy fabric of her shift, his fingers clutching it, trying to find her skin. He was unbelievably warm. Why did she need a fire when she had him? The morning chill faded away as soon as he touched her.
“Is this better?” He asked.
She tucked her head underneath his chin, “More than you could ever imagine.”
They sat in a brief, comfortable silence, listening to the noises downstairs- General Greene’s voice in the kitchen, his wifes’ laughter and the children's coos. There were servants scattering around the floors, making sure the rooms were ready for the next night, and the opening and closing of the front door as the quartermaster’s office officially opened for business. She would have to go down soon, get herself situated- see what was on the agenda, what was needed on the inventory. She didn’t get a chance to yesterday, it was too late by the time she had arrived.
“We will see to it tomorrow, Mrs. Tallmadge,” General Greene didn’t seem to mind, “you can rest for one more day.”
Take as much time as you can.
“Did you hear what I said earlier?” Benjamin looked down at her, his brows raised. “While you were sleeping?”
She racked her brain for an answer- why could she not remember? Why was it so hard to? It had only been a couple of minutes. Was she so distracted by him, by his presence, that simple things faded away?
Yes.
Yes, and she hated to admit it.
“I don’t recall,” she said.
She felt him tense slightly- he was nervous. “I want to give you something. A gift.”
A gift.
He had never given her one before.
Gifts were fruitless, compared to what he said, what he did. He helped her change her life, he amplified her voice. He had given her the army, the valley. No gift could ever compete with it.
The only possession that could’ve been considered a gift was the wedding ring on her finger.
“Nonsense,” she tilted her head to look at him, “you are a gift yourself.” With all the earnest, all the devotion she could muster.
She could make him blush with the simplest compliment, “Thank you, dear. But I mean it- I want to give you something.”
“Whatever for?”
“It-” Benjamin hesitated, cutting himself off, choosing his next words carefully, “because I want to. Because I think you deserve it. Do you?”
No, she didn’t.
“No. I already have you.”
He released a defeated sigh, “Oh, Elizabeth.”
What more could she want in life? She had her family- her father, her brother, and Mary. She had her home- the valley and the city, completing each other, completing her. She had her friends- the Philadelphia socialites and the officers’ wives, the aides and General Washington. And she had all the fineries and the jewels and whatever she wanted. And she had him.
Why want for more?
Why ask for it?
“May I show it to you, Elizabeth?”
“Of course,” she said.
They were temporarily pulled apart as Benjamin repositioned himself, deep in concentration as he reached into the pocket of his coat. She focused, tried to solve the problem of what it could be- she didn’t want him wasting his money on jewels, on rubies or pearls, or ribbons and silks. She had enough of all of those things. She had bought them herself.
Elizabeth didn’t like to think about it, but she knew everyone else did.
She had married a poor soldier.
And what could a poor soldier buy for a woman like her?
“I want to give you something,” Benjamin had said.
He was holding a kerchief.
A little thing of white cloth cupped in his strong, large hands, delicately and tenderly, as if it were a baby bird, thrown out of the nest and caught in Benjamin’s hands. He had grown more nervous- she could see it on his face, in the way he was looking at her, his eyes filled with a cautious hope, his mouth open, like he didn’t know how or when to speak.
“Here,” he instructed, “go ahead and take a look at it.”
Her heart still fluttered whenever their hands brushed together. “Thank you.”
She unfolded the fabric, cautiously spreading it out in her open hands, the kerchief draping over the edge of her fingers and onto the mattress. It was a fine thing- it was not made of silk or linen or lace. It was a plain, light cotton, soft to the touch, and well cared for. When had he gotten it made? And where did he get it? Had he sunk off into Philadelphia one day? Did he do it right behind her, right under her nose? He was good at sneaking around, wasn’t he?
“I bought it from Anna. From her cart,” he answered suddenly without her even asking. He was like a child, trying to tell a story, trying to impress her. “I remember you saying you wanted to support her and the other camp followers in any way you could, and this seemed like a nice way to do it.”
Oh, he had listened. He had listened when she marveled and gawked at the cart and the camp Anna had set up- she had been so excited to finally meet one of Benjamin’s friends, and a camp follower at that. He had listened when she said that she wanted to help the camp followers even more than she had at the valley. He had listened when she said they were creating an economy within the camp, that they were the backbone of the entire army.
Oh, Benjamin listened.
He took her breath away.
“Benjamin, thank you-”
“Elizabeth,” he interjected.
“Elizabeth, look in the right hand corner.”
She gasped.
She gasped, and held back a cry.
February 8th, 1778.
The date was embroidered onto the fabric in a simple scrawl, a dark blue thread- the same color she had to buy, the same color as the soldier’s coats. Flowers were surrounding it, and a star was next to the ending number- as if it were divine, celestial-
And it was.
February 8, 1778.
“It was your birthday,” Benjamin began. “It was your birthday, and-”
“It was the day you told me you loved me.”
He had taken her from her own party, pulling her away from the warmth and joy of headquarters and out into the cold, dark kitchen- where no one could see them, where no one could hear them. She was feeling flimsy and feverish, her cheeks redder than the wine she had been drinking all night, and she had been confused- what was he going to say? Why did he need to bring her out there to say it?
He started off by telling her about the time he fell in the Delaware river.
But then, Benjamin Tallmadge said what he had been waiting to say, what she had been dying to hear.
I love you, Elizabeth.
I need you, Elizabeth.
“It was the day we first kissed.”
It had been the best day of her life, at the time.
Now she had too many to count.
But February 8th had been the first.
And always would be.
“Oh, Benjamin.” She fumbled on forming another sentence- she didn’t know what to say, what to think.
Oh, Benjamin remembered.
“How did you do this?” She whispered as she glided the kerchief across her hands, as if it were a magnificent piece of silk she was going to buy. But it was worth more than any silk, any linen, any wool- anything.
“Anna was kind enough to put me in touch with an excellent needleworker,” he replied. “As you can see, her reputation is honest.”
“Yes,” Elizabeth nodded, dumbfounded, “yes, yes.” She still couldn’t believe it. He remembered. She tore her gaze from the gift for a split second, “What is her name?”
“Sarah. Sarah Norris.”
“I will have to thank her.” Yes, she would do it as soon as possible. The lady deserved to know how much her talent was appreciated.
“So,” Benjamin reached for her hand, and her heart dropped when she saw how worried he was, “do you like it? I know it is not much, and you have received far more grand things-”
She wouldn’t let him even think of it.
“Oh, Benjamin,” she had to stop- she had to stop, because she was going to cry, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.
“I love it as much as I love you.”
A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and he almost collapsed, “Oh, really, Elizabeth? You do?”
“Yes!” How badly did she need to convince him? Did she want him to scream it from the tallest hill in camp? Did she want him to write in on the General Orders for the day?
“You are not the type to ask stupid questions, Major.” She teased him.
Benjamin was still skeptical, “I do when all I want is to please you to the best of my ability.”
“Believe me,” she remarked, “you are doing an excellent job. You always do.”
“I love you, Elizabeth. I love you more than anything.”
He looked up at her, “I just wanted to show it.”
He always did.
“Benjamin?”
“Yes.”
“Come and kiss me.”
“I shouldn’t.”
“Why?”
“I have a meeting with Washington, and you need to get ready for today.”
“The day can wait,” Elizabeth said.
“And you think you can control that?”
“Yes. It’s my birthday.”
A swift peck on the lips, and then he got off the bed.
“Happy birthday, my Elizabeth.”
Can You Believe It Happened This Way? @sunshinedaisiesandmoonlight - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
gamechangershow
titsay
stormborns
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
romaincrisis
