More stuff from north of 50:
There are other ways to do ‘start up’ work. If you work in a large org or established industry, dig around to find the newest team, project or smaller org doing cool stuff or things that other people think might not work for <insert reasons usually based on fear of change here>. You get the best of both worlds: doing the weird, new stuff w/the stability of a steady paycheck.
Putting off therapy? Not sure it’s worth it? Do it. It is. Yes it’s hard + slow + sometimes painful. Still. Doing our work to navigate issues with parents + siblings is worth it because no one lives forever + it’s sweeter to live with fewer regrets. Invest in Kleenex, keep yourself hydrated + go for short walks to process The Stuff™.
When people have oPiNiOnZ about how they think we should do things, it’s helpful to ask: why do they care so much about what I do? Then do what we know is best.
It doesn’t take a lot of effort to be a sufficient-enough cook for ourselves + sharing w/others: 2-3 excellent breakfasts, lunches, dinners, appetizers + desserts. Yes, chopping up fresh veggies + selecting yummy cheeses count for 3 of those categories; fresh fruit + chocolate is an excellent dessert; soup is waaaaay easier to make than we might think.
Giving fewer fucks is incredibly energising. No need to be a jerk about it, but enjoy it!
Sleep. Really. Matters. And the lack of it or in insufficient amounts cumulatively undercuts sanity, time + resilience. Don’t believe me? Watch the TED talks, read the science, or ask your friends who are getting enough sleep.
This one sucks, but it’s worth knowing about ahead of time. Starting in peri menopause, gaining muscle mass + moving regularly gets frighteningly easy to n o t do. Totally still possible after menopause, but if you can swing it: develop those habits in your early 40s so you don’t miss too many beats (or a decade) so you can still be active at 60, 70, 80 + beyond.
In a long term partnership? Sharing where we each “hide” our passwords is helpful because sometimes we need them for all the right reasons.
Having real friends with people in every decade is a gift; cultivate + cherish them. Similarly, most friendships have a life span; learning to gracefully let go or move on eases some of the pain of the loss.
Talking to ourselves = super helpful. I say “C’mon Self, DO THE THINGS” to myself, OUT LOUD all.the.time! It works more often than not.
Eating ice cream cones in the rain can lift sadness, but only if it’s your favourite flavour; don’t bother w/the crappy stuff.
Buying the nicest, most comfortable under garments we can for our own enjoyment is worth it.
Leadership is a function, not a role or title. We can effectively exercise leadership from any seat at the table or any spot in the room.
Telling the people we really care about why we love them (the silly, tender + deep reasons) is a gift to both them + ourselves.
Regularly quieting our brains does wonders. Sitting in silence in a parked car or on the bus counts; no mantra needed, simply breathing. 10 minutes of silence a day works low grade miracles.
Can we tawk about budgeting? Times are TOUGH. And, you’re probably going to live longer than you expect, so whatever small, even teensy amounts we can put into 401(k)s or IRAs or savings accounts a d d s up over time.
Denial of limits (time, energy, emotional, financial) doesn’t make them go away. This regularly pisses me off. As in: DAILY. Sadly, this doesn’t make those limits not matter or disappear.
Growing a few fresh herbs on a kitchen window is easy, fun + delicious.
Laughter truly is one of the best medicines.
WHAT I WANT TO LEARN IN THE NEXT FEW YEARS
The power of consistently making even more small changes over time to get me closer to where I want to be.
Joy from consistently living below my means. (Please DM me tips you have on this point)
How to make 5 more soups.
