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@supermantm
IT’S A BIRD! IT’S A PLANE! IT’S — THE REMIX!
Aloha, babes!
This is an indie RP blog for DC’s KON-EL aka SUPERBOY! A COMIC-BASED account, primarily from the 90′s appearances + headcanons.
Highly selective, mutuals only.
Formerly known as KRYPTONFRESH. Est. Dec. 2018.
NON-RP BLOGS: DO NOT LIKE, OR REBLOG ANYTHING FROM ME.
RULES ✧ BIO ✧ ASK ✧ INTEREST TRACKER
update: n/a
"due to popular demand, the times square ball won't be the only balls dropping at midnight."
my ears were burning (just kidding i have super-hearing)
"How is it not heavy?" Thad squints.
"I'm not talking about the calories. I'm talking about how it sits in your stomach. Do you not think steak is heavy that way in comparison to other foods?"
"i never thought about it," he says honestly, but pauses to reflect.
"i think food should probably be heavier, tbh."
@dementedspeedster
"how is steak heavy?" the offense in his tone is subtle.
"it takes like 1 second to burn off all the calories."
"this is my hell."
ron swanson | @dementedspeedster
"i didn't even say anything, yet—"
"I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired men and breakfast food."
ron swanson | @dementedspeedster
"yeah, i know you like me—but which breakfast foods?" he pinches a piece of lint off his shirt and smooths a hand down his stomach.
"i like steak."
the best of ron swanson. a collection of writing prompts based on things said by ron swanson of parks and recreation. feel free to edit as you see fit to match pronouns, names, etc. meant exclusively for roleplay purposes!
"never half-ass two things. whole-ass one thing." "the less i know about other people's affairs, the happier i am." "i'm not interested in caring about people." "i like saying no. it lowers their enthusiasm." "i would prefer she ask for my permission so i can say no." "i was born ready. i'm [first] fucking [last]." "i am not a sore loser. it's just that i prefer to win, and when i don't, i get furious." "if you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?" "because it doesn't exist, because that's nonsense, because you're an adult." "i do not approve of this." "i gave her a kind nod." "everything i do is the attitude of an award winner, because i've won an award." "i was talking to the ribs." "not to worry, i have a permit." "i can do what i want." "normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, i'd choose to do nothing. but i will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. i'd work all night if it meant nothing got done." "you people have no idea what you're talking about." "that's funny. somebody just told me you were queen of the gays." "uh, thank you... for this. uh, this all good. night good. uh..." "i know more than you." "when people get too chummy with me, i like to call them by the wrong name to let them know i don't really care about them." "i hope the rest of your day is cool beans." "i came here for the same reason people go to the zoo." "i once thought i had a friend. then it turned out he was the single worst person i have ever met." "just give me all the bacon and eggs you have." "please do not approach me on the street." "when i eat, it is the food that is scared." "there's been a mistake, you've accidentally given me the food that my food eats." "is this not rap?" "you had me at meat tornado." "i know what i'm about, son." "anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that i am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. end of speech." "i can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves." "i can't go because i don't want to." "i don't think so. i think we're gonna be fine." "i cracked the bottom of the toilet bowl." "he might have just disappeared off the earth." "i wish this office had only walls." "since i am not a rabbit, no, i do not." "counteroffer. you take me nowhere, and i talk to no one." "why is everyone else so bad at eating?" "losing on purpose is a form of lying." "i hate everything." "everything before that was a mistake." "do you see the problem here?" "keep your tears in your eyes where they belong." "i suffer from a disorder called sleep fighting." "there will be alcohol there, so i will go as well." "creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie." "i'm a simple man. i like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food." "when did kids get so interested in fun?" "well, this is great." "i'm heading home, so as to not have to be here anymore." "we have one activity planned. not getting killed." "on principle, i never say anything that another person is obviously trying to get me to say." "people are idiots, [name]." "what's it like to stare into the eye of satan's butthole?" "i regret nothing. the end." "i regret everything." "i'm not sure i'm interested in that. no, i am sure, i'm not interested in that." "this is my hell." "i hate the public. the public is stupid." "i would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings." "i don't want to seem overdramatic, but i really don't care what happens here." "my friends know i have a strict no call policy." "i don't drink alcohol from that portion of the color spectrum." "i used a fake name. les. les vegetables." "usually i take it neat, but i will make an exception in the name of health." "literally everything is a weapon." "i love nothing!"
gracing u all with my long awaited return
happy sunday! what do yall think tim did with all the failed kon clone bodies?
sorry for making u horny, it was on purpose.
Star Trippin' , Baby
-Thad throws pieces of popcorn at Kon's head. He wants to see if he'll catch any.-
YOU'VE GOT MAIL! | @dementedspeedster
kon catches the first popcorn piece with a satisfying clack of his teeth. he collects the rest on his tongue before swallowing in one-go.
properly stimulated with the reward of food clearly has his attention.
"snacks? party somewhere?"
"... For once I actually wish I did." And down goes the third glass of wine. Yes, it was a red chardonnay kind of night.
"After being over 40 minutes late, making me order more food because it wasn't fair that I didn't wait for him, and making a scene because he didn't like that his well-done steak that he ordered came out tougher than his shoes? He--wanted to take me home to his sister's."
Breathe. Inhale. No zappy, the wine didn't deserve that kind of evil. "His married, mother of 5, sister because 'It's a school night' and 'there's no way they can hear him in his man-cave basement'."
"oh." kon hadn't really expected that—but he's got a lot of questions that sebastian probably should have asked before meeting this guy. he doesn't think mentioning that would help here, though.
"well," he starts, eyeing the now empty wine glass, "did he at least pay the bill...?"
"Please don't with the jokes. Not after the night I've had."
He's begging you, Kon, go easy.
"alright, alright," kon says, holding up his hands in forfeit, but he's clearly amused with himself.
"so, what happened? did you get stood up again?"
"Stupid useless men--"
He might be sulking after a terrible date.
He might also be a bit drunk.
"how about a super man, instead?"
it's a joke; kon can see sebastian's sulking ( and can smell the alcohol ).
"i take the plan b for my girl so she doesn't have to worry about it. that's what real romance looks like."
