Mr. Dan

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How not to write a story

Regarding Kat and Kitana by Dan Hooper

//Caution spoilers ahead// If you are a new reader start at Chapter 1

Tension, release, tension, release. Try and keep your readers on the edge of their seats. (wait that's the next chapter) Ah, young romance, it can be light or strong depending on your story and audience. Wy editor and I went back and forth regarding chapter length on this one.

The overall chapter pacing was slow. a quiet time before the tournament. I think it works well. Notice how Mizuki and Satoshi remain in character. Kitaro risks a visit to Master Ito by listening. Which is the stronger emotion love or fear? Another chapter without a hook? The readers crave action that makes them turn the page.

Turn that page now here

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"You can follow your heart, or you can follow your path, and sometimes if you are lucky they coincide."

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How not to write a story

//Caution spoilers ahead// If you are a new reader start at Chapter 1

Welcome back readers. As you can see. Character interactions are important. And we see an antagonist can change to be a protagonist it's rare. As the writer you know the arc. Sometimes you let the reader know something. and sometimes you don't want the reader to know (where's the fun in that)

What I got right:

Foreshadow can be strong and forced, or light and barely noticed according to your story. We all wanted to know Who and what Master Satoshi was. Now we know (and we don't want to visit him)

note: Please if you have read ahead, keep comments very light with spoilers like this, Some may be enjoying the story for the first time.

Here I had to decide how to show the punishment scene. Remember to write for your audience. For this YA/PG type the scene was kept mild. If written for MA could have been more severe / brutal. Here we the beginnings of Kitaro's change and Mizuki remains almost unchanged. Also we see comic relief after tense drama. (remember pacing. This is one chapter without a hook. Reader goes forward because they are invested in characters.

Continue to chapter 6 here

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How not to write a story.

//Caution spoilers ahead// If you are a new reader start at Chapter 1

Quite a lot happing here. Sometimes you need a back and forth flow to make your characters feel alive. And make the main characters introductions rememberable.

What I got Right:

Then the door opened and in walked an old badger leaning on a staff. “What is this? The last bell will sound soon. Why are you not in your places? There was dead silence, it was as if both of his ears had been totally removed. Then such a flurry of action it was hard to follow. It’s a wonder someone was not injured in the mad dash as each bed was filled with an occupant. “Are there any of you that would like to visit with me in the morning.” A chorus of “No sensei,” filled the silent room. “I expect peace to reign supreme the rest of this night, is this clear?” Again the unanimous “Yes sensei.”

Lets talk arc's. Try and introduce something in your story that will come back (callback), something that readers will remember. Kitaro's taking the apple earlier comes back to haunt him. Remember pacing. Fast to slow, quiet to not so quiet. and the reverse. Infirmary to Dorm.

Remember where you are. Describe how it feels. Passed through the light, dark, light… Always leave the reader wanting more. Pull them into the next chapter.

So that was Master Ito.

What I got wrong:

I never identified what Master Ito was. In the first book not in the entire book. He is a main character. My revision editor caught it.

Let's talk arc's. Try and introduce something in your story that will come back (callback), something that readers will remember.

Kitaro's taking the apple earlier comes back to haunt him.

Remember pacing. Fast to slow, quiet to not so quiet. and the reverse.

Infirmary to Dorm.

Remember where you are. Describe how it feels.

Passed through the light, dark, light...

Always leave the reader wanting more. Pull them into the next chapter.

So that was Master Ito.

Now they want to know more about Ito and the hall of corrections.

You do too.

continue with chapter 5 here.

[superwebcomicfan]

How not to write a story

//Caution spoilers ahead// If you are a new reader start at Chapter 1

What I did right:

So if you read chapter three from the last post. We put our main character in harms way. Give the hero a problem to solve. This should happen throughout the story keep the pace alive. But then give the readers some breathing room after. Add a little comedy if you can Even for serious characters. When moving into a new scene/environment/location give the reader some information not exposition make the reader feel the change for themselves.

Immediately, the sounds of the village became muffled, replaced by the persistent buzz of unseen insects. One boy broke a twig with a loud snap

Show don't tell. Not (The boys walked into the forest) be vivid in your descriptions. You can cheat sometimes, (It was so dark they could see nothing.) Even nothing can be powerful.

chapter 4 continues here.

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How not to write a story

//Caution spoilers ahead// If you are a new reader start at Chapter 1

So if you read chapter 2, you might see I have two main protagonists. This can be a problem for a writer as they try and build an arc for each. And a problem for readers as they try and choose who to follow.

What I did right:

Establish main characters and give them life, an environment, and, for one, a purpose. Showed village without too much exposition.

Character building: I had one. Kitaro a tiger without a story or path, all alone. He (and the story) needed a pal, an enemy, a resistance. So I needed an Evil One. Evil Lord was taken so just generic bad guy will do. I needed someone to slow the hero down Misuki (the pain in the ass) also Master Satoshi for different reasons. Exactly who does what and when? This is where you need to start making your story "bible." Plot holes and continuity gone wild will disappear when you refer to your bible while writing. An indexed notebook listing Characters, Locations, Timelines/Events, special powers or items. You may think you know your characters, but you may not want your mud covered character showing up in the fancy ballroom without cleaning up, unless that's what your going for. Here is an example.

Kat and Katana story bible

Characters: Kitaro (protagonist) Male orange tiger 12 years old at beginning. Homeless, Begins as bully type arrogant self serving leader of a gang. Looses his left ear due to his own bravado (Important continuity item) Becomes the hero by the end.

Mizuki (co-protagonist) (antagonist to Kitaro in first few chapters) Female white wolf 11 at the beginning. Also homeless. Smart calculating self sufficient great empathy. Seeks protection and forbidden training at the village temple destined to become romantic interest and mate by end of story. Becomes driving force after apparent death

Master Satoshi (Anchor, Supporting character) Elder graying white tiger 75 years old Leader of Yazu Temple of Peace. Wise, steadfast, patient teacher. Adopts Mizuki and become her teacher Mentor to both Mizuki and Kitaro Father figure.

What I did wrong: No bible, No map. No journal just disorganized notes and failing memory.

Full bible here //WARNING// do not read if you are enjoying the story. This is the ultimate list of spoilers. Return and check out later.

Continue reading chapter 3 here

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"Easy and quick publishing is a double edged sword."

[superwebcomicfan]

Kat and Katana by Dan Hooper

How not to write a story.

//Caution spoilers ahead// If you are a new reader start at Chapter 1

What I wanted to do:

So I wanted to write a quest adventure like Bilbo and Frodo in Tolkin's Epics Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. But just HOW?

For you beginner writers I suggest start with an outline. It is hard to write a story if you don't know where it is going. I know because that is how I wrote mine. Just writing ideas in a notebook. I wrote down whatever came into my head at the time. scenes from different chapters, pre-story, post-story, whatever. Then, sitting down to write a story as I saw it unfold. This was fourteen years ago. I wrote fast and furious and finished what I thought was a fun little adventure. And I wanted to be a published author.

What I got right:

Warm story, Good lead character. Fantasy village setting. It looked like the world building was working.

What I got wrong:

So without proof reading or editing I sent it off to the printer (Blurb). I had them print 10 books in 5 x 8 paperback format with color cover (see start of this blog). When the box arrived, WOW look I wrote a book. Then I looked inside...I found the bottom sentence sliced in half. I had forgotten to leave safety room in my pdf chapters. Then I started to see the mis-spellings. missing words, mis-placed or changing tense. I had one $2.00 e-book {{returned}} because I changed tense 3 times in one sentence. I had already published on Kindle. Easy quick publishing is a double edged sword.

Had to paste missing words at bottom of page.

But also shows callback to stolen apple in chapter 1.

And another example, In my released fully published book. Someone says "Ha, you it Mizuki."

What I learned:

Haste makes waste! Don't re-read your own work and expect to find all the errors. That's the editors job, weather AI or a professional editor or beata readers. Use all your resources to your advantage.

So here we are now rewriting and building a 2nd author's expanded and improved edition. So join me as I relate my comedy of errors and solutions. Let the journey begin.

My first published book.

Here is chapter 2.

[superwebcomicfan]

"To smooth your story road, you must patch the plot holes."

[superwebcomicfan]

Kat and Katana by Dan Hooper

How not to write a story

Re-building a world one chapter at a time.

Birth of an idea.

Fourteen years ago. I was recovering from surgery and bored. I have always been an avid reader of fantasy and sci-fi. I wondered if I could create my own world and write my own book. I had created a character for a short animation. And that character was to drive my story. Kitaro is an anthropomorphic tiger age 11 at the beginning of the story. Let's follow him along his path and see where it leads.

Please read chapter one first as spoilers may creep into discussions further up page.

here is chapter 1

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Starting my first blog. This will be about my journey as a first time writer. Following the creation of Kat and Katana. A story about the life of a hero.

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Happy New Years everyone. A little fun Fanimation for the New Year. Zootopia (c) Disney 

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Fun Fanimation of Chip and Socks (c) Chipflake

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BCB Video3

New Bittersweet Moments Video based on the webcomic "Bittersweet Candy Bowl" be sure to check it out.

My video answer to Where’s Lucy?

[bittersweetcandybowl]

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This can’t be happening!!! Hope this nightmare is over soon. Poor Mike.

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https://youtu.be/U5saJwFbeoQ

A late birthday video for Taeshi.

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A bittersweet Surprise

Very late birthday video for Vera. Sorry this is so late had the flu and no voice for the characters until this last weekend. Please check out her comic at b...