Idgaf Anymore

[surewhythehellnot]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stardew Valley (Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alex & Clara (Stardew Valley), Alex & Alex’s Father (Stardew Valley), Alex & Dusty the Dog (Stardew Valley) Characters: Alex (Stardew Valley), Alex’s Father (Stardew Valley), Clara (Stardew Valley), Dusty the Dog (Stardew Valley) Additional Tags: Origin Story, Puppies, There is no outright abuse but the dogs are not in a great situation, First Pet, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, My dumbass had ‘pet names’ as a tag, thinking it was literally about naming a pet, that’s what this is, Fluff, mostly - Freeform, How Do I Tag, im an overtagger, No Beta We Die Like Grandpa Summary:

Alex gets to bring home a puppy! The story of how he got Dusty and how Dusty got his name.

[surewhythehellnot]

Snippet of "Alex and Dusty"

Her house was dirty and cluttered, which was funny because she was a cleaner. She had a real stinky man there, so that’s probably why everything was so dirty. Alex could tell he was mean. Alex wanted to take all the puppies and also the momma dog out of the house, but he knew he could only have one puppy. The room with the puppies in it smelled even worse than the rest of the house. The momma wasn’t with them. She was chained outside in the back apparently.

Alex wanted to let out a happy, excited noise when he saw the puppies, but that was a girly noise. Instead he did a little hop. Just a little one, though.

The puppies were all so cute and they were all playing and having fun even though the house smelled bad and their people were probably mean to them. Alex wanted to run up and play with them too, but he knew that was rude. He didn’t want to make the lady mad.

“Take whichever one you want. Hell, take two. I’m trying to get rid of them as quick as we can. The little terrors destroy everything and are eating us out of house and home,” the lady said. Alex couldn’t tell if her tone was nice or mean. Momma laughed, but it was a laugh she did to be polite.

“We only have room for one unfortunately. My poor husband would have a fit if he came home from work expecting one rambunctious puppy chewing on his slipper and then found another one chewing on the other!” Momma said it to the lady, but Alex could tell it was also meant to remind him that he was only getting one puppy.

“Yeah, I get it,” the woman responded, but Alex was less interested in her and more interested in the little all-brown one that had come to chew at his shoe laces. All of the other puppies were busy playing with each other, but this one liked Alex! The puppy dropped his shoe lace and went to lick his leg.

“Momma! This one likes me!” he giggled from the tickle of the little tongue and the paws.

“Ooh, he sure does!” she smiled, “Well, I think it’s obvious that he wants you to be his boy. What do you think Alex? Should we take him home?”

“Yes! I want him,” Alex picked him up. He was kind of heavy. But Alex was strong, so it was no big deal. “He’s the best puppy in the world.” He was going to just say that he was the best puppy there, but Alex could already tell that he was the best puppy ever born. Alex’s puppy went to lick his face as he hugged him to his chest, causing him to laugh again.

“Well, that’s a lofty title,” the lady said. “I’ll get you some food to take with you to start with, but I wouldn’t worry about the specific kibble. They eat anything.”

“Thank you, Maria. This is all more than kind of you,” Momma said and turned to Alex. “What do we say to Mrs. Richards, Alex?”

“Thank you,” he answered. That wasn’t enough though, so he repeated it a whole bunch of times. Momma laughed and even the lady smiled.

“It’s nothing. Again, you’re doing me the favor of taking him off my hands,” the lady told them and then nodded towards Alex, “besides, I can tell this one is going to take good care of him.”

Alex grinned proudly. He was going to be his best friend forever. He was going to be the best best friend forever.

--What Happens next ????

(They name him. The rest of the story is them coming up the name Dusty)

[surewhythehellnot]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stardew Valley (Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alex & Clara (Stardew Valley), Alex & Alex's Father (Stardew Valley), Alex & Dusty the Dog (Stardew Valley) Characters: Alex (Stardew Valley), Alex's Father (Stardew Valley), Clara (Stardew Valley), Dusty the Dog (Stardew Valley) Additional Tags: Origin Story, Puppies, There is no outright abuse but the dogs are not in a great situation, First Pet, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, My dumbass had 'pet names' as a tag, thinking it was literally about naming a pet, that's what this is, Fluff, mostly - Freeform, How Do I Tag, im an overtagger, No Beta We Die Like Grandpa Summary:

Alex gets to bring home a puppy! The story of how he got Dusty and how Dusty got his name.

[history-of-stitchery]

Part 2/3

Part 1 Part 3

Transcript

PANEL 1

Alex: Do you think she still would have married him if it weren’t for me?

Evelyn: unfortunately, yes

A: did you ever try to tell her to leave him?

PANEL 2

E: All the time. When she’d call, she tried not to mention the trouble he was getting into, but I’d ask her directly. She would tell me then. I always told her he was no good. She would never listen to me.

A: Why?

E: She was holding out hope for him to come to his senses. She thought if she only stayed with him, he’d clean up his act. She told me how much she loved him and how she couldn’t leave because he needed her.

PANEL 3

(No response)

PANEL 4

E: We both know he had her fooled. If she had known the whole story, she would have left him. I know it. As much as she loved him, she loved you more.

A: but I didn’t say anything.

E: Alex, please don’t—

PANEL 5

A: They look happy in these. Even him

E: She seemed to be the only person he liked, I’ll give him that. He might have even loved her, in his sorry way.

A: You wouldn’t have been able to guess that by the way he spoke to her.

E: No, but I suppose that shows just how poorly he treated people he *didn’t like*

PANEL 6

A: like me.

E: like everyone who wasn’t himself and maybe your mother

A: and whoever was pouring the drinks

E: yes, them too

PANEL 7

E: but what I need you to understand is that his opinions weren’t worth anything. Please don’t think anything else, Alex.

A: yeah, I guess

[history-of-stitchery]

3/3

Part 1 Part 2

Transcript

PANEL 1

Alex: He’s dead now anyways. They both are.

A: Doesn’t matter anymore

Evelyn: oh, Alex—

PANEL 2

George (from bedroom): Evelyn!

E: what is it George?

G: Could’ya bring me a glass of water? I’m parched

PANEL 3

E: The King beckons.

E: Would you like that milk *in a glass*

A: No thank you. I think ill just go to [back] to bed.

E: alright Dear, sleep tight. I love you.

A: I love you too, Granny.

PANEL 4

Evelyn: well, it’s time to put all this away.

E: Goodnight, Babygirl.

[history-of-stitchery]

Clara’s Photos: (1/3)

Part 2 Part 3

Transcript

PANEL 3

Evelyn: Alexander. Don’t even think about it!

PANEL 4

Alex: What are you doing Granny?

PANEL 5

Evelyn: I found a box of your mother’s photos. I figured I’d go through.

Alex: That’s their wedding?

Evelyn: Yes

PANEL 6

Alex: Why is she wearing a coat?

Evelyn: It was winter—a very cold day.

Alex: I guess that’s right. I remember he’d bring home a bottle of wine, and I’d go to bed early. I don’t know why she acted like it was sweet of him. It was just another chance to drink.

Evelyn: I don’t know either, dear.

Alex: Why’d they get married in winter anyway?

Evelyn: they were in quite a rush.

Alex: Why?…oh.

PANEL 7

Alex: Did you know?

Evelyn: Then? I had my suspicions. It wasn’t until you came out “weeks early” plump as a partridge that I knew for sure.

Alex: Dad always said I was a fat blob.

Evelyn: Babies are supposed to be “fat”, dear.

[surewhythehellnot]

Bachelors on public Transportation

Alex “look! Look! Dr Harvey! Look at him! Look at what he’s doing!!” (flipping the bird)

Harvey: boys…boys, please…

Sam: so, like, I was totally like “woah” and, like— Shane, are you still listening?

This came to me as a scene for a grand road-trip fic I’ve been working on. Mystery Bachelor 7 is not invited because I need three older and three younger bachelors for the concept, and I ain’t rewriting shit.

Original sketch:

[surewhythehellnot]

Excerpt of "Snowed in"

Oh no! just under 5 feet of snow accumulated in one hour somehow and the people of pelican town are snowed in the community center!

Ao3 here

The town meeting on Winter 23rd was a disaster. The first hour or so were uneventful–or rather, boring. Lewis went on and on about various things that no one particularly cared about. He made a few passive aggressive comments pointed at Sam, which Sam ignored as usual, and congratulated “the community” on things that he did and no one noticed. Things took a turn however when he made a controversial announcement:

“By the way, we are closing the bathhouse.” he said casually, as if that was not one of, if not the only thing of consequence he had said all night.

“Why?!” questioned Alex as he shot up from his chair (and from his dozing)

"Insufficient funds” Lewis said diplomatically, but was annoyed the kid had made a stink.

“What exactly do our taxes go to anyway? I mean outside of the Bathhouse and the Library. It feels like the amount of taxes we pay should cover that easily,” Clint asked, and was tickled when the other townspeople seemed to approve of what he said.

Lewis, after opening and closing his mouth a few times, answered Clint as if he answered immediately: “The festivals!”.

“The stupid ass festivals cost that much?” Sebastian commented flatly.

“As much as I love the festivals, perhaps maybe reducing them or at least streamlining them would be worth it in order to keep the bathhouse. It is good to relax and exercise.” chimed in Penny.

“I also know that Linus uses it to warm up in the winter.” Robin added, speaking up for her neighbor who was never invited to these things.

“Well, he’s not a taxpayer.” Lewis said. There’s disapproving rumbles spread through the group, unimpressed with the mayor’s callousness.

“You know, not that I care one way or another, but we both know Aunt Marnie is always applying grants for the festivals and shit for you, so I think you’re exaggerating the cost that’s coming from the taxes,” Shane said to Lewis.

Marnie gasped and leaned over to Shane: “Do not be bringing up the close relationship I have with the mayor in public!” she quietly but sharply scolded. Shane rolled his eyes.

“Fixing this place up was expensive, you know!” was Lewis’s next excuse.

“The farmer fixed up this community center.” said Harvey, who did not like to stir the pot normally, but couldn’t help but to remind everyone of the farmer’s good deed.

“I was not talking about this place in particular. I was talking about the general beautification of the town, like the gardens.”

“My wife does that for free, you crook.” George cried out.

“In speaking of beautification, would that include that statue of yourself that keeps popping up around town” Jodi crossed her arms.

“I paid for it with my own money!” snapped Lewis, “and I have no idea how it keeps appearing in town.” He did in fact know how it kept appearing in town, but he knew better that to speak negatively about the farmer. It would be political suicide.

“Don’t speak to my wife like that!” called out Kent, causing Lewis to shrink back a bit. Kent continued with narrowed eyes, “How much exactly is your salary, anyway?”

“The Bathhouse is closing.” reiterated Lewis with finality, completely avoiding answering Kent.

“This is gay! I’m out of here!” Alex stormed off to open the door.

“Oh shit.” the town heard from behind them.

“Language, Alexander!” Evelyn scolded, then she turned and saw what had elicited the foul language from her Grandson, “By Yoba’s ass!”

Apparently, it had snowed while the town was conducting their meeting. It snowed a lot. The town each gave their own, mostly four-lettered, commentary.

What happens next?! (nothing really. They just talk about people not in the building)

[surewhythehellnot]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stardew Valley (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Shane (Stardew Valley), Alex's Father (Stardew Valley), Alex (Stardew Valley), Marnie (Stardew Valley) Additional Tags: This is more about alcoholism, like i feel bad about calling it stardew fanfiction even though it is, it is told from shane's perspective, Swearing, referenced death from car accident, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alex's childhood plays out very differently, Hopeful Ending, i always like 'how can you be bad at tags' and then i started having to tag, Lewis slander Summary:

Shane's first Winter Star in Stardew Valley. He meets a fellow alcoholic.

[surewhythehellnot]

Day- 31- future (kinda of, wayyyy in the future, but also in the past and present)

Clara’s dead. What’s it like?

There is canonically an afterlife in Stardew. We literally talk to ghost as part of gameplay. Also, it’s nice to write a happy ending for Clara for once.

CW: parental death, obviously. References to alcoholism

When Clara was dying, she felt like crying a lot. That is to be expected; no one wants to die of terminal illness before they turn 30. Although, half of the time they were more frustrated tears than sad or scared.

What had she done to piss of Yoba? First, her dad almost died and had nearly all of his joy zapped from him (he was only going to worse). Then she gets introduced to what she thought was a fun, loving guy who was just rough around the edges and had some issues to work through, and they fall in love. Unfortunately, she was so in love with him, he talks her into being a little reckless, and next thing she knows college is out the window. She hesitates to call this a bad thing, because she got something so much more precious than college—her son. Still, finishing college would have been nice. Her diamond in the rough fails out of school (without telling her for two years) and uses that time to get worse with alcohol. Despite all the problems he causes, She tells herself that she loves him and it’s important for her baby to have his daddy, but then one night, she realizes that her son’s number one problem was his daddy! So her marriage just went down the drain and she is the world’s stupidest and worst mother, but you know what? It’s not so bad. She now has a lifetime to focus solely on her son. Except she doesn’t. She’s dying!

It was strange though, when she thought about just herself, she didn’t feel fear of dying. Her grief was more about her parents’ suffering and leaving Alex behind. The closer she got to death the calmer she got. She thought maybe it was the drugs at the time. Being in the afterlife was a lot like being high (something she will pretend to know nothing about when her parents come). She still felt “negative” emotions, but they all had this underlying bit of tranquility. Things lose their edge when you have reached blissful eternity.

It was a strange state. She wasn’t a ghost. She wasn’t following around her loved ones watching every move they make. She was glad. She certainly didn’t need to be having her eyes on her 20 year old son 24/7. And if she had to watch what Poppa was watching all day she’d die again of boredom. She was in a position where she just…knew things. She could feel what they were feeling and see them and be with them without physically looking at them. She was in multiple places at once too. It was hard to describe. She had multiple streams of consciousness but they were all one. She could be “watching” Alex scoop ice cream, Momma pull weeds, and Poppa snore himself awake all while chatting up her grandmother who had died just after giving birth to Momma—she had discovered she really liked synchronized swimming and always wanted to talk about it.

Clara got to meet and unite with all sorts of people. There were family, old friends of her parents, a classmate or two, and lots and lots of pets. Josh wasn’t with her again yet. He still had things to be doing, wrongs to right, that sort of stuff. She wasn’t sure how long he’d be. She didn’t have to do any of that. All she knew was that he better put in the elbow grease when it came to making it up to Alex. She was curious about what was planned.

The worst part about being dead was that she could not go to her loved ones and hold them. Alex’s grief in particular was always there, a weight on her soul like his. She wished she could go to him. Comfort him and tell him how wonderful he was. Kiss away every tear and sing him to sleep just as she done before. Alas, it didn’t work like that. Unless you were the old farmer and had a fancy shrine. He still couldn’t kiss away tears or anything, but he could go tell his grandkid whether he liked what they were doing with the farm. They could also talk about other stuff, but they never did? Clara was a little annoyed with the farmer. She was glad they were being kind to Alex, but she wasn’t sure why they didn’t think to comfort Alex with a mention of the fact they know the afterlife exists! There isn’t some oath to secrecy!

Whatever, she still knew that although Alex was still going to mourn and suffer, as everyone in life does, he would never suffer forever. Suffering was only a short time. She knew that at the end of it all, he’d be in her arms, and he would know the same peace she had now.

[surewhythehellnot]

I finally got an Ao3 account!

I'm slowly going to put my Decembalex writings on there. I also have other stories I'm working on. I have a "don't post until it's done rule" because I love starting fics and not finishing.

[surewhythehellnot]

A Eulogy for a Piece of Shit (Family pt. 3)

Alex finds out his dad kicked it. (I read somewhere that CA actually confirmed he's dead. I don't know about the veracity of this.)

CW: parental death, references to child abuse, and a drunk getting handsy (very light on this one- Alex doesn't fully understand it is even bad)

Alex didn’t really feel right anymore. Maybe? Life before was sad and scary a lot, but he had Momma and the kids at school got things better. A lot of them had it even worse than him. They were much nicer at his old schools. Since Momma died he felt sad and angry, and he didn’t like that. It had been two years he had been sad and angry.

He had some fun times in Pelican Town, kind of. He loved Granny and Granpap–Grandpa (Stardew Valley kids thought “Granpappy” was weird and stupid, so he had decided to stop saying it.) He still had Dusty with him. He liked to go and run around on the beach. He was ok friends with some of the kids at school. Haley said she was still his friend, but she was older now though. She was almost a teenager and couldn’t be doing little kiddie games. Now, Alex usually just carried around her stuff and listened to her talk while he petted her carpet or played in the sand. It wasn’t really much fun. Even though, if it were fun, it would still not be super fun because Momma was still dead. That popped up in his head all the time. He’d have an ok time, and then he’d remember she was gone or something would remind him of something scary from when he lived in the city, and his day would be ruined.

Alex once asked Granny when he would stop being sad and angry. She got sad and told him some long story that was really wise sounding, but all Alex could get from it was that he would be sad forever until he died and saw Momma again, but in turn the people on earth would then be sad when he died. Then Alex got mad again because that’s a stupid way of doing things. Alex couldn’t decide whether Yoba was stupid or mean. He once asked Granny what she thought. She told him that little boys shouldn’t be asking questions like that. Then Grandpa whispered to him and said that meant she couldn’t decide either. 

Alex wanted something that could make him feel happy, but also be happy in a way that made him feel better about the things that made him feel sad. He really could not think of anything. There was nothing he could do to make anything that happened better. 

One day, a knock came at the door. This was strange for Pelican Town. Everyone just barged into everyone’s homes all the time. Alex thought this was weird. Granny was always a little nervous when someone they didn’t know came. Grandpa said she was worried that people were going to cause problems with Alex living there even though the government said they could have him (which was dumb they had to say it. His Momma already said that.) They changed his last name to Mullner and everything.

Grandpa had the TV real loud like always, so Alex couldn’t hear who was at the door. Whoever it was, Granny stepped aside to let them in. Alex decided to stand up and go into the kitchen too. Alex couldn’t believe who it was. It was his dad’s dad. He went by “Big Bert” which was big stupid. Alex wanted to leave before he got seen, but it was too late.

“Al! My, you’ve gotten tall. Overtaking your Grandma Mullner here.” he put on this voice that was pretending to be so nice, and it made Alex mad.

“My name is Alex and that’s Granny. And she’s short so that isn’t even hard.” he told him all rudely. And while he was at it (being rude) he decided to lie and claim he didn’t even know who the fat old man was.

“Alex.” Granny was getting upset. She did not like it when he was rude, even to people who were ruder.

“It’s alright. It’s…been a while!” he said to Granny with the same stupid fake smile.

“It’s me, sport! Your grandpa! Don’t you remember me?”

“Grandpa is watching TV in the living room right now.” Alex was not letting him win, and his fake-grandpa’s smile disappeared for a second. That made Alex happy. Granny’s angry look was making him more nervous than happy though.

“Well. I’m your other Grandpa. Grandpa-”

“He knows who you are. It’s just that you aren’t worth a damn to remember.” Grandpa had decided to wheel into the kitchen behind Alex. Granny crossed her arms and shook her head. 

“Hello, George.” Fake-grandpa’s smile was gone now.

“Mr. Mullner. And why are you here?” his Grandpa asked. “Why’d you let him in, Evelyn?”

“I am trying to find that out, George.” Granny did her voice she did when she sounded polite but was telling you she was annoyed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you, I just had something I think you should know.” Fake-grandpa played with his hat in his hands. He looked at Alex all nervous for some reason.

“Go on, spit it out. The boy can hear it.” Grandpa told him.

“Um- Well. We got a call early this morning, and-” he sounded really upset and sighed “I’m sorry. It’s- They found Josh, He- He’s passed on.”

“That’s great news!” Grandpa grinned, “Did he suffer?”

“George!” Granny exclaimed (that meant to say with emotion.) She then grabbed Fake-grandpa’s arm and pulled him outside, shutting the door behind them. Grandpa laughed and wheeled back to his spot in front of the TV, humming the song “Oh, how he lied”. Granny and fake-grandpa went and stood in front of the kitchen window. The window was open a little, so Alex could still hear if he sat next to it. 

“I’m sorry for his insensitivity.” Granny apologized to fake-grandpa. Fake-grandpa was looking around to see if anyone was watching them. No one was outside. 

“I expected it to be honest. I realize that things…are still as they have been.”

“Still,” Granny said, “He should know to have a little more decorum.”

“You are awfully forgiving, Mrs. Mullner.” Fake-grandpa said, “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it.”

“Nothing.” Granny said, “And I wouldn’t call this forgiveness. I call it empathy. I know what it is like to lose a child.”

Alex started to get upset again at the mention of Momma. Fake-grandpa looked very uncomfortable.  He didn’t care that Momma died or about how Alex was alone and missed her! Now he wants people to care about his stupid, evil son who no one ever loved?! Alex felt tears fill up his eyes and got even angrier. He wanted to shout at Fake-grandpa and tell him to go away and tell him he was happy his son was dead. In fact, maybe for once this could be something he was happy about! Someone bad died for once!

Alex slammed the window all the way shut and ran into his room. He thought about how happy he was so he could stop crying. All those mean things his dad said and did were over forever now. He had been mean and terrible and now he was dead. Momma was probably laughing with Yoba. Yoba probably knew he messed up by taking her and decided to do her a favor. Now she was laughing because his dad was going to be punished forever. Just like in the song Grandpa was humming. Alex would sing the song himself (that’s how happy he was), but he had decided not to sing anymore. Some boys at school told him singing was for girls. That honestly didn’t really make sense, but Alex didn’t want to do it anymore anyways.

When it was dinnertime, Alex was determined to get as much of Grandpa's good mood for himself as he could. Granny didn’t talk much. Alex could tell she was still unhappy about how Grandpa had acted. Alex decided to tell her that he agreed with Grandpa:

“You know Granny, Grandpa is right to be happy that my dad is dead. I’m happy too. I wanted to tell his dad, but I didn’t. I should have.”

“Don’t get smart with your grandmother, son,” Grandpa frowned, even though Alex was on his side. “I can speak for myself as an old man. You don’t-”

“No, George.” Granny cut him off, which was weird because Granny didn’t cut people off. Alex was confused and nervous now, “Alex should speak his mind. In fact, it is a good thing he is going to see his other grandparents tomorrow so he can have his chance to tell them what he wants.”

“What?!” Grandpa exclaimed.

Alex felt distressed, (That meant he felt upset) but he didn’t say anything.

“Mr. Hamilton said that they would be showing Josh tomorrow night. It is just for family–they are having a proper memorial later, and he asked if Alex would come. I agreed that it would be good for him.” Granny took another bite of her casserole calmly. Alex and Grandpa did not feel calm.

“That’s crazy, Evelyn.” Grandpa argued. “‘Family’ Those people ain’t any family of his. They just want him there to pretend their son did anything worthwhile with his life.”

“George, I’ve made up my mind. You don’t need to go, but Alex does.”

“It had never crossed my mind, and I think you’re wrong for making the poor boy go.”

“That’s fine.” Granny said as she poured more lemonade into Grandpa’s glass.

Alex kept his mouth shut for the rest of dinner. When it was time for bed, Granny came in. Just to make sure he was cozy and to give him a good night kiss. He was too old for getting tucked in. She rubbed his cheek. 

“Alex, dear, I’m not trying to be cruel by making you go tomorrow. You know that right?”

“Why do I have to go, then?” asked Alex.

“I think it would be good for you to have closure.”

“What does that mean?” 

“Closure?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Closure’ means that you can have an end to a story. You can see and know that he is gone, and you can think of him as something in your past.” Granny explained (that meant she said what it meant.)

“So I don’t have to think about him anymore? Because he’s dead?” Alex liked the sound of that. He never wanted to think about his dad ever again.

“I don’t know if you will not think about him anymore, necessarily. I am sure that would be nice for you, but I think it will be more that you can understand your emotions about him better.”

“I understand my emotions about him already! I hate him, and I am happy he is dead now, and I wish he died a long time ago.” Alex said. He sounded angry. He felt bad about getting angry at Granny. She looked sad.

“I’m sorry, I got mad, Granny.”

“Oh, darling, it’s ok.” she brushed his hair with her hand. She still looked very sad, though  “I know this is going to be upsetting. I wish I could make everything go away, but we have to deal with these things.”

Alex didn’t know for sure if Granny was just talking about his dad or other things too. He didn’t want to ask any more questions, though, so he just nodded. He just wanted Granny to kiss him, and then he would go to sleep.

“Goodnight, my love. Sleep well.” Granny kissed him goodnight. He didn’t sleep well though.

The next morning he tried to sleep in late. Alex never slept in. He always wanted to wake up early so he could be awake more. Maybe he slept in because he was tired or maybe he slept in because he did not want to be awake because then the day would start and then he would have to go see his dad’s dead body. He wanted to do that though because Granny said he’d get “Closer” (which meant he would have an end to the story). Granny woke him up. She joked about how Alex usually was waking her up to make breakfast and now he’d have to get up to ask her to make lunch. 

Later, Alex had to put on a button up and nice pants. He wore the brightest color he had. Granny didn’t say anything about it. She didn’t even try to make him let her put wax in his hair so it stayed “tidy”. Before he left, Grandpa called him over and whispered in his ear:

“Make sure to spit for me, too.”

Alex laughed. Granny didn’t ask what grandpa said to make Alex laugh. She just kissed him goodbye, and then Alex and her left. 

The bus ride to Stardew Springs wasn’t super long. Most of the people in town would go there and Goldbrook (the town right next to it) to get stuff they couldn’t get in Pelican Town, but Alex’s family never did. Even when they had to go to a special doctor or something, Granny would find one somewhere else. Even if they had to go all the way to Zuzu City. 

Alex had never been to a funeral home before. They didn’t have one for Momma. Alex was happy about that. He didn’t want to see people or to see Momma dead. He had been to a memorial before for his friend’s grandma, but that was outside. This was inside a house, but instead of having people living in it, it just had rooms that pretended to be like they were in a house but they actually were just there to put dead people in them. Alex thought that was stupid. He asked Granny about it and she said that funeral homes were like that because people used to show dead people at their house. Alex was glad that didn’t happen anymore. That sounded scary. He also didn’t want to go to his fake-grandparents’ house.

When they got up to the room the man at the door told them to go to, Granny stopped and rubbed Alex’s back. 

“I am going to tell you before we go in. You do not need to go up close to him if you do not want to. We can stand in the back.” she said quietly.

Alex just nodded.

The room was weird. Everything was weird. Alex didn’t really think about anything. He just kept walking forward. He knew that his dad’s family members were staring at him but he didn’t look back. He didn’t care. He just wanted to see the body so he could see his dad was dead and be happy. And spit on his dad’s dead body twice (Once for him and once for Grandpa.)

When he actually looked at the body, he didn’t feel happy or spit. He knew it was his dad, but he looked really, really horrible. Momma looked pretty even when she was very sick because she still looked like Momma. He looked like his dad, but not really either. Maybe that was why Alex was upset, because he looked so ugly. It made sense for him to be ugly, though. He was bad and now he looks bad. 

As Alex looked at his dad, he remembered all sorts of things, but they were not the things he usually remembered. He remembered him alive, not yelling or drinking, just sitting there and being alive. He started thinking about Momma sitting next to him on the couch. She was smiling. He didn’t know why. Why did Momma like him anyway? He was always so rude and made her life harder. Alex thought about how his dad treated his mother. He then thought about how his dad treated him. He treated them differently. Sure he was rude and liked to yell at them both, but he also acted like he liked Momma. He’d do nice things to make her happy sometimes. He made her laugh (even though he wasn’t funny). He was always hugging and kissing her. Even when he was really drunk, he’d grab her like he’d grab him but instead of throwing her to the ground he’d kiss her. (He’d say bad words at her and stomp away if she didn’t kiss him back, though) Still, he never kissed Alex. Not that Alex ever remembered, at least. He hit Alex. Maybe he really did love Momma, and it was only Alex he hated. Maybe Alex is why he was mean to Momma. Momma wouldn’t let him be mean to Alex. Why did Dad hate him though? Alex was his son as much as Momma’s. Momma always said that to him, and he would say “unfortunately.” Why was Alex so bad? Was it all his fault? Would Momma and Dad have been happy if he’d never been born? Maybe Dad wouldn’t have drank and yelled at Momma and made her life hard. He and Momma would have had a better child and he would have loved them. Maybe Alex could have been better, if he got another chance. Momma and Dad would both love him and they’d all be happy as a family, but they never could now. Because she was dead. And now he was too. 

And now Alex felt sad and angry again. This was all wrong. Dad was mean. Alex was supposed to be happy. Why was he not happy? Granny squeezed his shoulder, and he felt tears on his face. This was all wrong!

He tried to run away, but Granny was still holding on to him. She scooped him up against her and they walked towards the back quickly. Alex was crying hard. Dad’s stupid family probably thought he was sad about him being dead, but he wasn’t! He didn’t want to be sad!

They left the room and Granny and him sat on a little couch in the hallway. There must have been tissues on the small table next to them because Granny gave him some and started wiping away tears.

“Oh, my darling, I’m so sorry. I know it’s a lot.” she said to him quietly, “You are very brave for going up there. I am proud of you.”

“I’m not sad! I’m not!” Alex kept saying.

“Alex, it's ok to be upset.” she said as she squeezed his hands. “Your father was a nasty, lying, unfeeling, drunk snake who did terrible things to you-”

“Granny, you can’t say those things!” Alex cried, cutting her off.

“I can! Because I need you to understand despite him being so terrible, you are not!”

Alex tried to slow down his crying to listen to her.

“He was a bitter man who blamed his unhappiness on everyone but himself, but for whatever reason your Momma loved him and had you. She wanted him to be better than he was, and he never could be. But you Alex, you were all she ever could have ever hoped for and more.” Granny's eyes were wet now and Alex’s hand started to hurt a bit, but he didn’t interrupt. ”You feel things, and sometimes you do not understand them because they are just so big. You are a sweet little boy who's been through so many terrible, horrid things. You are not doing anything wrong. You’re confused and scared, and that’s ok. Granny is too. I just need you to understand that you can't just try to make your feelings go away or force them into being what you believe you need to feel. Okay? Can you just let yourself feel things with Granny?”

Alex just nodded. He didn’t want Granny to cry too. He didn’t want to make her sad. He didn’t really know what she wanted him to do. He wondered if she wanted him to tell her all of those thoughts he was thinking before. He didn’t know how, though, so he just moved closer to Granny and let her hug him. She hugged him tight, and although he still felt upset, he felt better. Granny let out a deep breath, so that must’ve worked.

“I’m sorry-” Alex heard a man’s voice say. It was his dad’s father. He looked nervous. Granny cleared her throat and wiped away the wetness in her eye.

“Yes?” she said.

“Ah, we were wondering if Al would like to come see the rest of his family.”

Alex didn’t believe there was more than one person wondering that. He was the only one who had talked to Alex in over two years. He didn’t understand this guy. There were a lot of things he didn’t understand, though, and in that moment he decided his grandfather was on the bottom of his list of things to understand.

“No. Granny and I are going home now.”

He held Granny’s hand and they stood up together. They started walking down the hallway, but Alex stopped. He turned to see his grandfather was still standing there, and said:

“He was very mean to me. I don’t know how I feel about him dying though. My momma would probably be sad, and I’d be sad for her, I think.”

And then he and Granny went home. Granny baked cookies with extra-chocolate chips.

[surewhythehellnot]

These are the other parts btw

Part 1 (Clara's Perspective of family)

Part 2 (His dad's perspective)

[surewhythehellnot]

A Eulogy for a Piece of Shit (Family pt. 3)

Alex finds out his dad kicked it. (I read somewhere that CA actually confirmed he's dead. I don't know about the veracity of this.)

CW: parental death, references to child abuse, and a drunk getting handsy (very light on this one- Alex doesn't fully understand it is even bad)

Alex didn’t really feel right anymore. Maybe? Life before was sad and scary a lot, but he had Momma and the kids at school got things better. A lot of them had it even worse than him. They were much nicer at his old schools. Since Momma died he felt sad and angry, and he didn’t like that. It had been two years he had been sad and angry.

He had some fun times in Pelican Town, kind of. He loved Granny and Granpap–Grandpa (Stardew Valley kids thought “Granpappy” was weird and stupid, so he had decided to stop saying it.) He still had Dusty with him. He liked to go and run around on the beach. He was ok friends with some of the kids at school. Haley said she was still his friend, but she was older now though. She was almost a teenager and couldn’t be doing little kiddie games. Now, Alex usually just carried around her stuff and listened to her talk while he petted her carpet or played in the sand. It wasn’t really much fun. Even though, if it were fun, it would still not be super fun because Momma was still dead. That popped up in his head all the time. He’d have an ok time, and then he’d remember she was gone or something would remind him of something scary from when he lived in the city, and his day would be ruined.

Alex once asked Granny when he would stop being sad and angry. She got sad and told him some long story that was really wise sounding, but all Alex could get from it was that he would be sad forever until he died and saw Momma again, but in turn the people on earth would then be sad when he died. Then Alex got mad again because that’s a stupid way of doing things. Alex couldn’t decide whether Yoba was stupid or mean. He once asked Granny what she thought. She told him that little boys shouldn’t be asking questions like that. Then Grandpa whispered to him and said that meant she couldn’t decide either. 

Alex wanted something that could make him feel happy, but also be happy in a way that made him feel better about the things that made him feel sad. He really could not think of anything. There was nothing he could do to make anything that happened better. 

One day, a knock came at the door. This was strange for Pelican Town. Everyone just barged into everyone’s homes all the time. Alex thought this was weird. Granny was always a little nervous when someone they didn’t know came. Grandpa said she was worried that people were going to cause problems with Alex living there even though the government said they could have him (which was dumb they had to say it. His Momma already said that.) They changed his last name to Mullner and everything.

Grandpa had the TV real loud like always, so Alex couldn’t hear who was at the door. Whoever it was, Granny stepped aside to let them in. Alex decided to stand up and go into the kitchen too. Alex couldn’t believe who it was. It was his dad’s dad. He went by “Big Bert” which was big stupid. Alex wanted to leave before he got seen, but it was too late.

“Al! My, you’ve gotten tall. Overtaking your Grandma Mullner here.” he put on this voice that was pretending to be so nice, and it made Alex mad.

“My name is Alex and that’s Granny. And she’s short so that isn’t even hard.” he told him all rudely. And while he was at it (being rude) he decided to lie and claim he didn’t even know who the fat old man was.

“Alex.” Granny was getting upset. She did not like it when he was rude, even to people who were ruder.

“It’s alright. It’s…been a while!” he said to Granny with the same stupid fake smile.

“It’s me, sport! Your grandpa! Don’t you remember me?”

“Grandpa is watching TV in the living room right now.” Alex was not letting him win, and his fake-grandpa’s smile disappeared for a second. That made Alex happy. Granny’s angry look was making him more nervous than happy though.

“Well. I’m your other Grandpa. Grandpa-”

“He knows who you are. It’s just that you aren’t worth a damn to remember.” Grandpa had decided to wheel into the kitchen behind Alex. Granny crossed her arms and shook her head. 

“Hello, George.” Fake-grandpa’s smile was gone now.

“Mr. Mullner. And why are you here?” his Grandpa asked. “Why’d you let him in, Evelyn?”

“I am trying to find that out, George.” Granny did her voice she did when she sounded polite but was telling you she was annoyed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you, I just had something I think you should know.” Fake-grandpa played with his hat in his hands. He looked at Alex all nervous for some reason.

“Go on, spit it out. The boy can hear it.” Grandpa told him.

“Um- Well. We got a call early this morning, and-” he sounded really upset and sighed “I’m sorry. It’s- They found Josh, He- He’s passed on.”

“That’s great news!” Grandpa grinned, “Did he suffer?”

“George!” Granny exclaimed (that meant to say with emotion.) She then grabbed Fake-grandpa’s arm and pulled him outside, shutting the door behind them. Grandpa laughed and wheeled back to his spot in front of the TV, humming the song “Oh, how he lied”. Granny and fake-grandpa went and stood in front of the kitchen window. The window was open a little, so Alex could still hear if he sat next to it. 

“I’m sorry for his insensitivity.” Granny apologized to fake-grandpa. Fake-grandpa was looking around to see if anyone was watching them. No one was outside. 

“I expected it to be honest. I realize that things…are still as they have been.”

“Still,” Granny said, “He should know to have a little more decorum.”

“You are awfully forgiving, Mrs. Mullner.” Fake-grandpa said, “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it.”

“Nothing.” Granny said, “And I wouldn’t call this forgiveness. I call it empathy. I know what it is like to lose a child.”

Alex started to get upset again at the mention of Momma. Fake-grandpa looked very uncomfortable.  He didn’t care that Momma died or about how Alex was alone and missed her! Now he wants people to care about his stupid, evil son who no one ever loved?! Alex felt tears fill up his eyes and got even angrier. He wanted to shout at Fake-grandpa and tell him to go away and tell him he was happy his son was dead. In fact, maybe for once this could be something he was happy about! Someone bad died for once!

Alex slammed the window all the way shut and ran into his room. He thought about how happy he was so he could stop crying. All those mean things his dad said and did were over forever now. He had been mean and terrible and now he was dead. Momma was probably laughing with Yoba. Yoba probably knew he messed up by taking her and decided to do her a favor. Now she was laughing because his dad was going to be punished forever. Just like in the song Grandpa was humming. Alex would sing the song himself (that’s how happy he was), but he had decided not to sing anymore. Some boys at school told him singing was for girls. That honestly didn’t really make sense, but Alex didn’t want to do it anymore anyways.

When it was dinnertime, Alex was determined to get as much of Grandpa's good mood for himself as he could. Granny didn’t talk much. Alex could tell she was still unhappy about how Grandpa had acted. Alex decided to tell her that he agreed with Grandpa:

“You know Granny, Grandpa is right to be happy that my dad is dead. I’m happy too. I wanted to tell his dad, but I didn’t. I should have.”

“Don’t get smart with your grandmother, son,” Grandpa frowned, even though Alex was on his side. “I can speak for myself as an old man. You don’t-”

“No, George.” Granny cut him off, which was weird because Granny didn’t cut people off. Alex was confused and nervous now, “Alex should speak his mind. In fact, it is a good thing he is going to see his other grandparents tomorrow so he can have his chance to tell them what he wants.”

“What?!” Grandpa exclaimed.

Alex felt distressed, (That meant he felt upset) but he didn’t say anything.

“Mr. Hamilton said that they would be showing Josh tomorrow night. It is just for family–they are having a proper memorial later, and he asked if Alex would come. I agreed that it would be good for him.” Granny took another bite of her casserole calmly. Alex and Grandpa did not feel calm.

“That’s crazy, Evelyn.” Grandpa argued. “‘Family’ Those people ain’t any family of his. They just want him there to pretend their son did anything worthwhile with his life.”

“George, I’ve made up my mind. You don’t need to go, but Alex does.”

“It had never crossed my mind, and I think you’re wrong for making the poor boy go.”

“That’s fine.” Granny said as she poured more lemonade into Grandpa’s glass.

Alex kept his mouth shut for the rest of dinner. When it was time for bed, Granny came in. Just to make sure he was cozy and to give him a good night kiss. He was too old for getting tucked in. She rubbed his cheek. 

“Alex, dear, I’m not trying to be cruel by making you go tomorrow. You know that right?”

“Why do I have to go, then?” asked Alex.

“I think it would be good for you to have closure.”

“What does that mean?” 

“Closure?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Closure’ means that you can have an end to a story. You can see and know that he is gone, and you can think of him as something in your past.” Granny explained (that meant she said what it meant.)

“So I don’t have to think about him anymore? Because he’s dead?” Alex liked the sound of that. He never wanted to think about his dad ever again.

“I don’t know if you will not think about him anymore, necessarily. I am sure that would be nice for you, but I think it will be more that you can understand your emotions about him better.”

“I understand my emotions about him already! I hate him, and I am happy he is dead now, and I wish he died a long time ago.” Alex said. He sounded angry. He felt bad about getting angry at Granny. She looked sad.

“I’m sorry, I got mad, Granny.”

“Oh, darling, it’s ok.” she brushed his hair with her hand. She still looked very sad, though  “I know this is going to be upsetting. I wish I could make everything go away, but we have to deal with these things.”

Alex didn’t know for sure if Granny was just talking about his dad or other things too. He didn’t want to ask any more questions, though, so he just nodded. He just wanted Granny to kiss him, and then he would go to sleep.

“Goodnight, my love. Sleep well.” Granny kissed him goodnight. He didn’t sleep well though.

The next morning he tried to sleep in late. Alex never slept in. He always wanted to wake up early so he could be awake more. Maybe he slept in because he was tired or maybe he slept in because he did not want to be awake because then the day would start and then he would have to go see his dad’s dead body. He wanted to do that though because Granny said he’d get “Closer” (which meant he would have an end to the story). Granny woke him up. She joked about how Alex usually was waking her up to make breakfast and now he’d have to get up to ask her to make lunch. 

Later, Alex had to put on a button up and nice pants. He wore the brightest color he had. Granny didn’t say anything about it. She didn’t even try to make him let her put wax in his hair so it stayed “tidy”. Before he left, Grandpa called him over and whispered in his ear:

“Make sure to spit for me, too.”

Alex laughed. Granny didn’t ask what grandpa said to make Alex laugh. She just kissed him goodbye, and then Alex and her left. 

The bus ride to Stardew Springs wasn’t super long. Most of the people in town would go there and Goldbrook (the town right next to it) to get stuff they couldn’t get in Pelican Town, but Alex’s family never did. Even when they had to go to a special doctor or something, Granny would find one somewhere else. Even if they had to go all the way to Zuzu City. 

Alex had never been to a funeral home before. They didn’t have one for Momma. Alex was happy about that. He didn’t want to see people or to see Momma dead. He had been to a memorial before for his friend’s grandma, but that was outside. This was inside a house, but instead of having people living in it, it just had rooms that pretended to be like they were in a house but they actually were just there to put dead people in them. Alex thought that was stupid. He asked Granny about it and she said that funeral homes were like that because people used to show dead people at their house. Alex was glad that didn’t happen anymore. That sounded scary. He also didn’t want to go to his fake-grandparents’ house.

When they got up to the room the man at the door told them to go to, Granny stopped and rubbed Alex’s back. 

“I am going to tell you before we go in. You do not need to go up close to him if you do not want to. We can stand in the back.” she said quietly.

Alex just nodded.

The room was weird. Everything was weird. Alex didn’t really think about anything. He just kept walking forward. He knew that his dad’s family members were staring at him but he didn’t look back. He didn’t care. He just wanted to see the body so he could see his dad was dead and be happy. And spit on his dad’s dead body twice (Once for him and once for Grandpa.)

When he actually looked at the body, he didn’t feel happy or spit. He knew it was his dad, but he looked really, really horrible. Momma looked pretty even when she was very sick because she still looked like Momma. He looked like his dad, but not really either. Maybe that was why Alex was upset, because he looked so ugly. It made sense for him to be ugly, though. He was bad and now he looks bad. 

As Alex looked at his dad, he remembered all sorts of things, but they were not the things he usually remembered. He remembered him alive, not yelling or drinking, just sitting there and being alive. He started thinking about Momma sitting next to him on the couch. She was smiling. He didn’t know why. Why did Momma like him anyway? He was always so rude and made her life harder. Alex thought about how his dad treated his mother. He then thought about how his dad treated him. He treated them differently. Sure he was rude and liked to yell at them both, but he also acted like he liked Momma. He’d do nice things to make her happy sometimes. He made her laugh (even though he wasn’t funny). He was always hugging and kissing her. Even when he was really drunk, he’d grab her like he’d grab him but instead of throwing her to the ground he’d kiss her. (He’d say bad words at her and stomp away if she didn’t kiss him back, though) Still, he never kissed Alex. Not that Alex ever remembered, at least. He hit Alex. Maybe he really did love Momma, and it was only Alex he hated. Maybe Alex is why he was mean to Momma. Momma wouldn’t let him be mean to Alex. Why did Dad hate him though? Alex was his son as much as Momma’s. Momma always said that to him, and he would say “unfortunately.” Why was Alex so bad? Was it all his fault? Would Momma and Dad have been happy if he’d never been born? Maybe Dad wouldn’t have drank and yelled at Momma and made her life hard. He and Momma would have had a better child and he would have loved them. Maybe Alex could have been better, if he got another chance. Momma and Dad would both love him and they’d all be happy as a family, but they never could now. Because she was dead. And now he was too. 

And now Alex felt sad and angry again. This was all wrong. Dad was mean. Alex was supposed to be happy. Why was he not happy? Granny squeezed his shoulder, and he felt tears on his face. This was all wrong!

He tried to run away, but Granny was still holding on to him. She scooped him up against her and they walked towards the back quickly. Alex was crying hard. Dad’s stupid family probably thought he was sad about him being dead, but he wasn’t! He didn’t want to be sad!

They left the room and Granny and him sat on a little couch in the hallway. There must have been tissues on the small table next to them because Granny gave him some and started wiping away tears.

“Oh, my darling, I’m so sorry. I know it’s a lot.” she said to him quietly, “You are very brave for going up there. I am proud of you.”

“I’m not sad! I’m not!” Alex kept saying.

“Alex, it's ok to be upset.” she said as she squeezed his hands. “Your father was a nasty, lying, unfeeling, drunk snake who did terrible things to you-”

“Granny, you can’t say those things!” Alex cried, cutting her off.

“I can! Because I need you to understand despite him being so terrible, you are not!”

Alex tried to slow down his crying to listen to her.

“He was a bitter man who blamed his unhappiness on everyone but himself, but for whatever reason your Momma loved him and had you. She wanted him to be better than he was, and he never could be. But you Alex, you were all she ever could have ever hoped for and more.” Granny's eyes were wet now and Alex’s hand started to hurt a bit, but he didn’t interrupt. ”You feel things, and sometimes you do not understand them because they are just so big. You are a sweet little boy who's been through so many terrible, horrid things. You are not doing anything wrong. You’re confused and scared, and that’s ok. Granny is too. I just need you to understand that you can't just try to make your feelings go away or force them into being what you believe you need to feel. Okay? Can you just let yourself feel things with Granny?”

Alex just nodded. He didn’t want Granny to cry too. He didn’t want to make her sad. He didn’t really know what she wanted him to do. He wondered if she wanted him to tell her all of those thoughts he was thinking before. He didn’t know how, though, so he just moved closer to Granny and let her hug him. She hugged him tight, and although he still felt upset, he felt better. Granny let out a deep breath, so that must’ve worked.

“I’m sorry-” Alex heard a man’s voice say. It was his dad’s father. He looked nervous. Granny cleared her throat and wiped away the wetness in her eye.

“Yes?” she said.

“Ah, we were wondering if Al would like to come see the rest of his family.”

Alex didn’t believe there was more than one person wondering that. He was the only one who had talked to Alex in over two years. He didn’t understand this guy. There were a lot of things he didn’t understand, though, and in that moment he decided his grandfather was on the bottom of his list of things to understand.

“No. Granny and I are going home now.”

He held Granny’s hand and they stood up together. They started walking down the hallway, but Alex stopped. He turned to see his grandfather was still standing there, and said:

“He was very mean to me. I don’t know how I feel about him dying though. My momma would probably be sad, and I’d be sad for her, I think.”

And then he and Granny went home. Granny baked cookies with extra-chocolate chips.

[surewhythehellnot]

Festive- A strange holiday

cw: very brief references to child abuse, alcoholism, and general douchbag-ery

Momma and Alex (and sometimes his Dad) always took the train to Stardew Valley for Winter Star. This year, they didn’t. Alex didn’t know why. It was probably because of the accident Dad had at work. He had bruises on his face and he needed to go to the tooth doctor. Momma was really sad about it and cried. One night, when he woke up hearing her crying, Alex went into the kitchen where she was and told her to not be sad because that accidents happen. That’s what she always told him when he got hurt or did something on accident. She smiled and told him she was right and gave him hot chocolate, and he went back to bed.

When it was Winter Star day. Momma looked sad. She smiled at Alex, but she was still sad. Alex got a bag of candy AND a new bouncy ball. He didn’t know why Momma promised that he would get a better gift for his birthday. He got TWO gifts!

His Dad was grumpy, like usual.

“You know, you really aren’t helping anything by moping. You're making things worse.” he said to Momma.

“I’m sorry. I am not trying to mope. I am just homesick.” Momma said back to him.

“You are literally home right now, Clara.” he said. The words weren’t mean, but it sounded like he was being mean.  Momma frowned and looked tired.

“It’s the first time I’ve been away from my parents for the holiday.”

“Yeah, I know, and it’s all my fault-” he sounded angry for no reason. That was normal.

“I never said it was your fault, Josh. Things happen. I’m just trying to deal with things being different, Ok?” Momma talked over him so he would stop being angry.

His dad didn’t say anything back. Alex liked it when his dad didn’t talk. He wouldn’t be mean if he didn’t say anything.

Alex played with his ball. It accidentally bounced onto his dad. He expected to get yelled at, but his dad just sighed. He looked over to Momma. 

“See. I’m trying.” he said all growly.

“I know.” Momma said to him in the same voice she used when Alex got crabby. Then she looked over to Alex.

“Alex baby, be careful with the ball indoors, Ok?”

“Ok, Momma.”

“Why don’t we start dinner, huh?” She held her arms out and Alex ran into them.

“What’s he going to do?” his dad said, still grumpy.

“Alex is a good helper! Isn’t that right!” she said all happy and with a smile.

“Yeah!” Alex did a jump to show he really meant it.

“Sure. Whatever you say.” His dad laughed a bit, but it was a mean laugh.

“Don’t listen to the grouch, baby.” Momma whispered to him as she got up and they headed to the kitchen.

Suddenly, his dad got up and walked towards the door. Momma looked scared.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Out.” was all his dad said.

“Josh, please-”

“‘Josh please’ what? I’m not going to the bar! You really don’t have any trust in me, huh?”

Alex could tell Momma didn’t know what to say.

“Great. Awesome.” his dad slammed the door after him. 

Momma sat Alex down at the table. She started getting the food together to cook. Momma usually gave Alex jobs to do and talked a lot. Today, she just gave him little oranges and asked him to take out the pieces and put them in a bowl. He was done fast and she thanked him and gave him a cookie. She faced away from him and didn’t talk unless Alex asked her something. Alex heard her sniffle. He wanted to tell her not to be sad because it was Winter Star, but his dad had said that and his dad was mean. Alex wished his dad would stay wherever he was and leave him and Momma alone. 

Momma put the chicken and carrots and stuff in the oven and suggested they both take a nap together while it cooked, but a loud noise came from the door.  They rushed into the living room to see his dad bringing in a bush.

“What is that!?” Momma laughed as she tried to help him bring it in.

“Our Winter Star Tree. Sort of. I know we couldn't get a real one, but I figured we could improvise.”

“I’m sure I do not want to know where you got this?” she smiled.

“Probably not.” He laughed, but it sounded different than usual.

“How are we going to set this up?” Momma looked around the branches at his dad.

“You know, I didn’t actually think that far.” he said, stepping away from the plant. Momma made a noise that sounded annoyed, but Alex could tell she was happy still.

“Go get the big pot in the kitchen. Fill it with water and we can prop it up in the corner if we move the couch over.”

“Aye-aye captain.” his dad went to go find the pot. Alex was confused by how his dad was acting. He didn’t sound mean and he was listening to Momma. He went through all the cabinets and was very noisy. He didn’t know where it was because he never helped Momma cook. Alex knew where it was, but he didn’t want to help him.

When his dad found it, he filled it up and brought it into the living room. He moved the couch over and put the pot in the corner. He then grabbed onto the bush, and he and momma put it in the pot. Kind of. The bush couldn’t stand up by itself. It had to lean on the walls. Momma clapped like it was the big tree like in Granny and Granpappy’s town. She gave his dad a big hug and gave him a kiss. Alex watched everything from the big chair. It was all weird.

“What are we going to put on it?” his dad asked. His arm was around Momma still.

“We got popcorn. We have some thread. Oh, and some construction paper and pipe cleaners are lying around too somewhere.” She was super excited.

“Damn, you are going to put me to work after I lugged this thing all the way here?” his dad said. That was more like normal. His dad was lazy.

“Yep!” Momma laughed again. His dad grabbed her like he would grab Alex sometimes when he babysat and Alex almost screamed. Momma was laughing still though? He saw that his dad was kissing Momma a-bunch? He didn’t do that to Alex. He yelled at Alex.

Momma said she would go check on dinner and get the craft stuff together and left the room. It was just Alex and his dad now. His dad’s happiness went away when he looked at Alex. 

“What are you looking at?” he growled. He was mean again. Alex knew it! He knew he was just pretending to be nice.

“Found them! Come in here and help you two!” called Momma from the kitchen.

His dad went in, not waiting for Alex at all. Alex ran in after him.

They made ornaments as they waited for dinner. After dinner, Momma popped popcorn and she taught Alex how to put it on the thread. She had to make more popcorn because his dad kept eating it. That made Alex angry. There were cookies and he was eating the decorations!

When they were done. Alex and Momma put the decoration on the tree. His dad drank his soda (not his adult juice. Alex had noticed he had not had adult juice since his accident at work.) and watched them while he sat in the big chair. When they were done. His momma looked at it and smiled real big.

“So what do we think?” she asked. Alex half expected his dad to be rude and say he hated it. That is what he did most days, but he didn’t today.

“Very festive. That ornament right there really makes it,” he pointed to one he made.

“Oh definitely” she giggled, and then kneeled and kissed Alex “Thank you for all your help! You did a great job, baby.”

“Yeah, Alex did a great job coming up with the idea, fetching it, and setting it up!” his dad grouched.

Momma stood up and crossed her arms and went ‘click’ at his dad with her mouth, but then she went over and sat herself on the chair with him. She kissed him again

“Thank you, Josh. It’s wonderful. It really is. I’m sorry I assumed the worst of you before.”

“Well, I guess I could find it in my heart to forgive you. It is Winter Star, after all.” he pulled her closer to him. Alex felt left out. His mom saw him standing there and told him to come over. He didn’t know if he should climb up on the chair with them. His dad would probably not want him to. It was Winter Star Day though, and weird things had happened all day. He went and got up with them and Momma hugged him. They all sat and looked at their Winter Star bush. It was one of the strangest Winter Star days ever, but Alex thought it was a nice-strange mostly. Anytime Momma was happy was a good day.

[surewhythehellnot]

Story of a Man at a Bar

Part 2 of family. This is long as hell, but I couldn't find a good place to break it up. CW: Major character death, Ableist slurs, child abuse, verbal/emotional abuse, alcoholism, very vague reference to sexual violation.

It's told from a POS's viewpoint, so it's going to be nasty and downplaying a lot of awful things.

He loved Clara. No one could ever accuse him of not loving her. He wouldn’t let them. He had never laid a hand on her. He wasn’t like that. People probably thought so, but he didn’t. Because he loved her. She was beautiful, soft-spoken, and kind. She understood him like no one else did and forgave him when he drank a little too much and messed up. She was everything a man would ever want. He didn’t know what old Kent’s problem was, he could have gone after her himself but introduced them instead. Then he married Joyride Jodi and knocked her up immediately in true military fashion. Bet he wishes he got blown up in Gotoro.

He and Clara could have had a good life together. She was going to be a music teacher. She would have been good at it–with her sweaters and smiles and sweet voice. She would hand out recorders to kids so they could make their parents suffer. She could have taught them those weird hick songs she used to sing. (He convinced her to leave her dad’s stupid fucking banjo in pelican town. Thank Yoba.) After school, he was going to get a spot on Zephyrs and work his way up to the Blue Socks. They would have been happy, him and her and maybe a few kids (when he was raking it in and she could take care of them full-time) but then, two years into college, she got pregnant. He should have told her that they needed to put it up for adoption. He was stupid not to. They got married quickly after they found out. His parents were pissed. Her dad was extra-pissed, the miserable old cripple always hated him. He probably would have killed him if he found out she was pregnant before they married.

Obviously, she had to drop out. She couldn’t have a baby, a job waitressing (he used to say when she got big enough she could try carrying the tray on her stomach, it always made her laugh) and do school. He tried to keep going. His parents cut him off, but he had his scholarship still. He figured he would keep going until he could get scouted. It sucked ass he had to move out of the fraternity house and miss the parties, though. 

Well, it turns out when your girlfriend becomes your wife and pops out a kid, she has less time to help you study. He didn’t tell her when he flunked out and lost the scholarship. He would just go to the bar across from the frat house and watch the brothers come and go. They didn’t truly know how good they had it. After a reasonable amount of time, he’d come home and hope she didn’t smell the alcohol on his breath. She didn’t have the time to, usually. As soon as he got home it was a quick Hello, how was class? To which he’d lie and say it was fine, and then she would plop the baby in his arms, peck him on the cheek, and rush out the door. I left bottles in the fridge. See you after my shift, Love you! And then, instead of spending time with her, he was stuck with him. 

She let him choose the name. He assumed that in her mind, if she let him name the kid, he would like him better. It sounded like one of the silly ideas she would come up with. He chose Alex, after Alexander Rojos, number 24, short stop for the Blue Socks. 3.7 batting average, 698 career home runs, and an average of 120 RBI a season. He used to imagine standing over the same plate as him, but instead he got stuck with little Alexander George. (The exchange for him getting to choose the first name was that her dad got the middle name.) 

His parents were naturally pissed about the name. They wanted him to be “Albert.” like his dad. Although, they probably would have been pissed if he did name him Albert. They were probably the only people who wanted the kid to exist even less than him. They didn’t like Clara. They were always trying to get him to leave her despite her being the only thing that was keeping him together. He didn’t fully understand what their big problem was. Everyone liked Clara. Clara was extremely likable–a little too likable for her own good. Other men were always sniffing around her. She was always too naive about it, too trusting of guys. It frustrated him, even though he knew she would never cheat on him.

 His parents were snooty about money, so it was probably that they didn’t like her because her father was a dumb red-neck miner, and any money they had now was in part from some workers’ comp or whatever. A bunch of rocks fell on him or some shit. Clara said that’s why he had become such a “sourpuss”. She always had cutesy names for assholes. She probably had a ton for him, that she’d whisper in the kid’s ear as the little shit glared at him for telling him the truth.

That was the other flaw that came with Clara’s kindness. She coddled that kid so damn much. She was sensitive. It could be annoying sometimes but it made sense. She was motherly and soft. However, the kid became even more sensitive. He came out crying and never quit. Clara said that he was just cholicky, but he kept on going past infancy. If he was too cold, if he was too hot, if he lost something, if he lost at something, if something was too loud, if something bad happened in a movie–even to the bad guys, if his socks “felt weird”, if he had no socks, if there was a bug, if you killed the bug he was scared of: the list of things that upset him were endless. He wasn’t just sensitive. As he grew, it became apparent he was also retarded. Because of course he was. You needed to repeat simple directions twenty times. He came up with stupid ideas. He would do the same dumb shit over and over again as if it was going to magically work. He couldn’t even read. To top things all off, the kid didn’t even look like him. He was basically a Miner George Mini-Me with a hint of Clara. The only thing he shared with the kid was his eyes–just the eye color, not the eye shape. The kid really was just a waste of space. A worthless nuisance that had ruined his parents' life.

He believed it was important to be honest to the kid. He could get that she didn’t want him to say the more inconvenient and unpleasant truths out loud, but he couldn’t even call the kid an idiot. The kid could play the game, too. He made sure to cry nice and loud when his “Momma” was around and he heard something he didn’t like. Clara would come and always take the little terror’s side–because they were both sensitive. No wonder things fell apart any time he tried to put the bottle down. The kid made drinking necessary for maintaining sanity.

Luckily, the kid had the brain capacity of a gold fish. So when he was stuck babysitting, he was able to do things his way for once. He knew Clara would have freaked out, but that was only because she didn’t understand that a little spanking and a smack on the head wasn’t anything terrible. It was normal. It had worked forever. Alas, she was oversensitive. She should have listened to him though. The kid behaved more or less when you gave it to him straight. He could be moderately useful with the right motivation. He still fucked up the tasks in some way, but that was to be expected–he was a retard, remember.

Unfortunately, the kid aged–got more irritating and started having an attitude. He had to hit a little harder and yell a little louder to get the point across to the numbskull. It was fine, though. The kid was bigger, he could take it just fine. It toughened him up. Afterall, he wanted to be a gridball player! What a fucking joke. Wouldn’t that be something though. The little shit ruined his old man’s chances at going pro (which were real chances), and then he goes on and lives his little fantasy.

He could barely remember the night the kid ruined it all for good. The sale at the liquor store must have been really fantastic. It was probably the drunkest he’d ever gotten at that point. That was no small accomplishment. He really put in the hours to find new levels of being plastered. He couldn’t recall what the kid said or did. He probably got cocky and tried to hit back. Maybe he thought he could get away with insulting his father. Despite his drunken filter, he did remember the yelling and that awful screeching crying the brat always did. He remembers that stupid little mutt Clara had brought home trying to bite him. He remembered in the moment feeling like he had control of his life again, which was painfully ironic now.

 He then remembers being awoken by Clara’s screaming. He’d never seen her so upset in all their time together: not any of the times he’d lost his temper and yelled something nasty at her or broke something, not when he got a little grabby in the sack and upset her, not any of the times he blew all their money, or got fired, or got mixed up in shit and landed in the ER or the police station. She was always willing to work things out and to let him make it up to her. He guessed he found her limit that night. She even threw something at him. It hurt quite a bit. He got a nasty scratch. (Who knew she could whip something like that? Maybe, in that other world she could have played a little pitcher for him when he was practicing at home. Wouldn’t that have been something to see.) She was sobbing and hysterical. She kept repeating over and over “How could you! How could you do that to our child!” He couldn’t say anything back to try to explain himself, he could barely stand up straight. Getting something thrown at his head hadn’t helped that. 

She had called him from the hospital. He had sobered up enough to hold a conversation by that point, but it wasn’t like it made any difference. She wouldn’t let him talk at all. She told him that he had to get his stuff and get out. That they were done. If he wasn’t gone when they got back she was calling the cops. She told him that he had always loved him and believed the best of him for 10 years and he now had well and fully betrayed her. And that she never wanted to hear his voice again. She got her wish. He picked up what he could and spent the night wandering around the city like a bum. 

His parents were probably happy. He had finally left her.

And then she left him.

The hospital reached him at work. They took their good old time. They only bothered to call her husband after she…after it was over for good. To think, it wasn’t even half a year alone with that parasite and she withered away completely.

He went to see her immediately. He didn’t know why he went. He probably wouldn’t have been able to look at her. It didn’t matter. She wasn’t there to be seen. It was just her parents and the kid. That bastard had the nerve to tell him to stop crying. Wasn’t life just fucking hilarious? He couldn’t say anything back because he knew Miner George would probably pull out a sawn off shotgun and blow him to bits. Although, maybe that wouldn’t have been too bad. 

For the past two years, his “life” has been one drunken blur–even more than before. He hadn’t spoken to his family. He’d rather swallow that shot-gun. He kept having to avoid the stupid government. They probably wanted him to take the damn kid. They’d quickly regret that. The game of life was simple, now. You keep a job for as long as possible (usually a week or two), and then move on to the next. When you run out of jobs in a town, you move to the next. All money goes to a shitty motel and as much piss-water beer and rotgut liquor he could convince some uninterested bartender to give him. It truly was a miracle he’d lasted this long, or more likely a form of divine punishment. 

The worst thing was that although Clara was gone, she never left him alone. She saw her everywhere. He heard her voice and her laugh. Every woman on the street, every singer on the radio, every gentle touch bumping into him: they were all Clara. He would say it was her cruel revenge, but it wasn’t. Clara was never cruel. It would be more like her trying to comfort him, and that was even worse.

Now, the time is 2:00, and the bartender is shoving people out. He tells the guy that he’ll pay his tab tomorrow. They both know he’s lying, but the bartender is too tired to give a shit. He leaves the bar and staggers towards the motel he’s been holed up at. On the way, he feels the tiredness overcome him. He looks over into the alley and sees a cozy enough spot that’s not the main sidewalk. He lays down, just for a few moments to rest his eyes a bit, he thinks. He lays flat on his back, looking up at the stars. As his eyes close, he can feel Clara lying next to him.

(He chokes on his own vomit and dies lol)

[surewhythehellnot]

Day 22 Salmon

Alex was very bad at fishing. He was not super patient, and really didn’t understand the pulling and letting go and pulling thing. However, the farmer was great at fishing. He noticed that the farmer was always pulling a ton of fish out of the water. Salmon was Alex’s favorite. Alex had a great idea!

He was going to convince the farmer to give him salmon by being hot.

He would make sure to drop helpful hints about salmon being in the rivers. He’d be real nonchalant about it, something like “y’know, there’s a lot of salmon in these rivers…” (the letting it sit was important.) He wouldn’t even look at them. Well, he never looked at them. He didn’t really look people in the eye. It made him feel weird. However, THIS not looking them in the eye was because he was nonchalant and cool.

Then, step two would to be to get them to give HIM the fish (cooked though). Once he saw they caught salmon he’d be like “oh, hey there farmer.” (Very sexily) then say something sort of like “I saw you catch salmon… I love salmon dinners. That’s my favorite…” (again the pauses were key) He may throw in a lip bite. He’d been practicing. Lip bites were hot. People loved it when people bit their lower lip.

Bro he was going to get so much protein. It wasn’t even funny.

[surewhythehellnot]

Clara's Job (Family pt 1)

For the prompt "family", I wanted to do three parts. One from Clara's perspective, one from the father's perspective, and the final one from Alex's perspective.

CW: Alcoholism, extremely jealous behavior (towards a minor no less)

For once, Clara liked her job. In a stroke of luck, she had seen it on one of the pages of the paper when they were packing things to move to the new apartment across town.  She jumped on it immediately. At first, Josh him-hawed that it was cutting it close with when his new shift ended, but eventually he realized how excited she was and stopped complaining. It was a little trickier when Alex was in school, but they made it work. They always made it work. And she wouldn’t say it out loud, but she was also happy that Josh having to come home immediately had made it so “the boys” at work couldn’t drag him off to Timmy’s–oh wait, it was Red Hot’s now that Darryl had slept with Timmy’s wife and started a brawl that got Josh a black eye and two bruised ribs. Josh’s drinking was bad enough as it was; it didn’t help that he always seemed to have a new group of work friends worse than the last to drag him into their messes. 

He had behaved much better since she got this job. He still drank more than she liked, but it was at home on the couch where he couldn’t get into trouble. Of course, she still wasn’t happy he was drinking in front of Alex, but she liked to tell herself that he saved the majority of his drinking after Alex went to bed. Either way, she drilled Alex on emergency phone numbers and made sure he was well acquainted with the old couple next door. 

Today, he was running late. She did the mental math, and she didn’t believe he had time to get a drink in, but she wouldn’t know until he showed up. She was cleaning up a spill that a very agitated toddler who no longer wanted his juice box made. His mother was mortified. It wasn’t a big deal; it didn’t get on any instruments or other merchandise. Clara just smiled and said she also had to clean up after a baby at home–and their six-year-old son. That got a laugh from the mom, but Clara felt a little bad about it. It felt as if she were badmouthing Josh behind his back, but he was always the one saying that jokes are just jokes. 

She looked up at the banjo Johnny, her boss, had up for sale on the wall. She was surprised he had it. No one ever showed interest in it. The clientele of the city was definitely not banjo folk. It was beautiful, though: perfectly polished maple with intricate mother of pearl inlays. It was nothing like Poppa’s old banjo. That one was scratched and had mismatched strings through repairs–definitely no mother-of-pearl inlays. She imagined what he’d think of this new one. She didn’t have to think too hard. He’d hate it. He’d say it was too rich for his blood and a banjo like that was for looking at, not playing. Then again, he didn’t really play anymore, since his accident. Sometimes she could convince him to play a song or two for Alex when they visited, but she could tell that something had gone missing in his playing since he played for her as a girl. 

“Oh, Yoba, no. You’re eyeing a banjo.” her tardy husband groaned. She put on an amused smile because she knew he was trying to be funny. Not too amused though, she was still upset.

“You’re late.” she told him. 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Something came up at work.” he came over and kissed her. Whiskey. 

“You splurged on liquor today.”

“Oh, uh” he at least had the decency to look guilty, “I actually didn't. It was on Carson. It was Sparky’s birthday today, so he let us off early and bought us a round.”

She wanted to believe it was just a round. Maybe it was. He didn’t seem drunk. Although he’d been getting better at hiding it: a blessing and a curse. He was frowning now. He was probably to be annoyed that she didn’t respond fast enough to tell him it was all okay.

“It was his birthday, Clara, and Carson was being nice for once. You wanted me to say no?” he hissed. Great, he was getting agitated easily in public. He was at the very least buzzed.

“I didn’t say that Josh. I didn’t say anything. Please, do not hiss at me–especially at work.” she told him calmly. You always had to be calm with him. Getting angry didn’t do anything. It only made him act out worse.

“I wasn’t hissing.” he grumbled. She rubbed his cheek the same way she did with Alex when he was being pouty. Just like Alex, Josh seemed to relax a bit. Dealing with Josh had really prepared her for motherhood.

“Where’s the kid?” he asked, looking around the store. She had to hold back a tut. She hated when he called Alex “the kid.” No use in dealing with that now, though. He already was buzzed and fussy. She didn’t need to worsen that before he watched Alex for the night. She didn’t want her baby having to deal with an overly snippy father.

“He’s in the back. My coworker who just got off, Logan, volunteered to entertain him for me.”

“That’s nice of her.”

“Him, actually. And, yes, he’s a very sweet boy. Alex likes him a lot.”

Josh stiffened. Dear creator.

“A guy volunteered to watch your son?”

“A boy volunteered to watch our son. He’s sixteen, Josh. He’s Johnny’s grandson. He’s waiting for his mom to pick him up and thinks Alex is funny, so he offered to keep an eye on him.”

“He knows you’re married?” asked Josh.

“Yes! He knows! Not that it matters anyway because he is a child!” she let her frustration shine through in her voice. This was absolutely ridiculous.

“Clara, I’m not accusing you of anything. I just think it's weird that a guy wants to watch Alex. I just don’t want him trying to bother you afterwards because he thinks he’s going to get something out of this.” he said, as if what he was saying made any sense.

“I’ll tell you what, Josh. If he comes on to me after this, I’ll make sure to have a talk with his mother, so she can ground him for flirting with a married woman.” she snarked a bit. 

“Alright, I get it.” he put up his hands in defeat. “Sorry I said anything.”

“I prepared the casserole and put it in the fridge. You just have to put it in the oven,” she said, ignoring his little remark and changing the topic.

“Uh, did you write down for how long or something?”

“Yes. I left a note with the instructions on the fridge.” She did her best to not sound annoyed that her fully grown husband needed instructions to heat up a casserole. She was so exhausted today.

“Thanks, babe. You’re the best.” he kissed her temple (and squeezed her ass a bit. He was lucky no one was in the store anymore and she was tired. She would have scolded him.)

He went and retrieved Alex from the back, and Clara could hear no threats against Logan’s life; that was good. He emerged with Alex riding on his shoulders. Clara smiled. She knew he could be such a great father to Alex if he would just let himself be one. Clara wished she knew how to make him see that Alex was his child as much as hers, and not a chore she nagged at him to deal with. If only he would get help for his issues and realize how happy they could be--see how much she loved him and see how much Alex needed him. She held out hope. She had to have hope. Alex deserved a family: a mom and a dad who loved him and did everything they could to give him a happy childhood.

[surewhythehellnot]

Silly:

Alex was the light of Evelyn’s life. She cherished him more than anything. He was sweet and caring. He respected his grandparents, and he stayed out of trouble. She could not ask for a better grandson because there was none to be had.

But, by Yoba, that boy could be silly!

She knew some of his more troubling habits were not of his own doing. He was very impressionable and desperately tried to fit in with other kids, but still, he could drive an old woman like her batty!

Alex was a very handsome boy, and that was not just Evelyn’s bias. She always received compliments on his behalf. It only made sense he’d be handsome; he was his grandfather's grandson. The problem was that Alex knew just how handsome he was. His grandfather had known too and certainly did his share of peacocking about, but where they differed was Alex could be a little vain when it came to grooming and dressing.

Take those white shoes for example. She understood that boys his age put a lot of stock in tennis shoes nowadays. What she couldn’t understand is why a boy like him, who spent so much of his time out on dirt paths and grass, would want white tennis shoes. Evelyn would point out different shoes with colors that would hide stains, but no. He had to have white. Then, when he naturally dirtied his shoes, because they were white, he’d fret over the stain. When he couldn’t get off the marks, he declared that they were no-good anymore and wasted his money on getting a new pair. (The boy was hopeless with money.) He never would wear the old pair. You would think he would keep the old pair and wear them when he knew it was going to be out in the dirt. No, no. Everyone would see them and think he looked like a slob. Who was “everyone”? Barely any people lived in town, and certainly none of them cared about his shoes! Well, that girl may have. Evelyn understood that Alex struggled with making friends, but she was not entirely sure that she was a good friend. She was even more vain than Alex.

She also one day had found out he’d been tossing the perfectly fine “old” shoes. Oh, she had been so cross with him. What was his reasoning? The idea of a stranger wearing his shoes “freaked him out”. Come now! How did he even come up with a thought like that? Oh, she could go on and on about those shoes.

Less offensive than the shoes, but still confusing to Evelyn, was that terrible goop he insisted on putting in his hair. His hair was so lovely on its own, but he felt the need to take a long time to spike up tufts of hair each morning. Every once and a while he complained that it was hot, and he would shave it off if it wasn’t so “attractive” (she wasn’t fond of the new styles for young men). Evelyn knew he’d never. Although, he hadn't said anything about shaving since George joked that they could be twins. 

Evelyn knew that it was not a big deal, and that these things were only a small part of the things that truly worried her about her grandson–his loneliness and low self-esteem. You’d never think he’d had it by the way he presents himself, but Evelyn knew that all that primping and preening was just him trying to feel “cool.” Her poor boy, he broke her heart. She wished she knew how to make it through to him that he didn’t need to do all that and that he was special and worthy just as he was. Until then though, she stocked up on baking soda for spot cleaning shoes.