[suttonalthisar]

I

I haven’t written in a long time - even though I’ve felt a lot.

I’ve felt stress for google, ikea, and Volkswagen. Work is stupid.

[suttonalthisar]

I have no personality.

Personality is the combination of habits and judgements from the past with wishes for how you will be perceived in the future. Personality is sluggish like concrete always getting harder. The ecstatic moment is fluid. To be happy you have to be fluid. Judgement is static. "Love what you do" doesn't mean "work in your preferred field". It means that no matter what you do you need to love yourself. Forgive yourself your bad behaviour. Don't expect better. Live in the gray areas. Try harder to like yourself.

[suttonalthisar]

There's no objective truth to discover, only rules to games.

[suttonalthisar]

TNAK

Kant talks about "the thing in itself" and " the thing for me". "a priori" and "a posteriori" knowledge respectively. "before me" and "after me" respectively. "The thing I can divine through logic" and "The thing I can feel" respectively. as if experience is invalid through my involvement in it. There seems to be a better way to look at "a priori" and "a posteriori" knowledge. "before me" and "after me" respectively. "The thing I am experiencing right now" and "The thing I am processing" respectively. as if logic, a system of limits, were limiting.

[explore-blog]

Alan Watts on the art of timing, the perils of hurrying, and the pleasures of presence – such immensely timely wisdom from half a century ago. 

[suttonalthisar]

Grasping

[suttonalthisar]

Watch Keith. Bluntly, watch his cymbals. …also, cherry bombs? Really? Must have been the birth of the pyro/ballistics industry. . ….The struggle against coersion, THAT is rock'n'roll, I have felt it. THAT I

[suttonalthisar]

some lyrics from the one-year-in-the-making-so-far record

none of my girlfirends

would i want back,

but i hope

that each one regrets

the day that she left me.

always hard times.

always on a decline.

even though we all cried,

they were relieved to be leaving.

let the lead(Pb) go

find

the bottom

by himself.

i have a message for you, my old girlfriend:

i know you can't regret the day you met me.

we had some good times.

maybe more of them comin.

maybe more than many fathers and mothers

who still, maybe, stay with each other.

but you

let the lead find the bottom.

you let the lead

go find the bottom

you let the lead

find

the bottom

by himself

[suttonalthisar]

i take a break to allow space for the christ, the logos, "immanuel", "god is with us" to be born.  i love the child.  i am the child.  

[suttonalthisar]

Judy Garland - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

the original lyrics aren't just messing around.

[suttonalthisar]

This expands my brain:

"Joseph Heath and Andrew Potter explore this contradiction in their 2004 book, “Nation of Rebels: How Counterculture Became Consumer Culture.” They argue that contemporary consumer culture is driven not by a desire to keep up with the Joneses but by the opposite impulse: to individuate. We believe our purchases distinguish us from a perceived mainstream of numb consumers, so we cannot stop buying things."

from dan brooks in the nyt

[suttonalthisar]

let's not fight.

[suttonalthisar]

not sure why, but i was shocked when i just saw that this is the most popular thing i have posted on youtube (if you don't count ragsy or soulcracker stuff).  i recorded this the first time i practiced at my new space the first week i lived in sydney.  

[suttonalthisar]

cleaning up, moving on

going through drawers, getting ready to clear out of this already sentimental apartment, i found another half-empty book with some poems i wrote not too long ago.

i sucked in ten thousand missing days.

and the ground quaked.

and my heart shook.

and my lungs burned.

and my face was red.

and i knew i had been running.

i blew out a storm across new states.

and the ground quaked.

and my heart broke.

and my blood flowed out

'til my limbs were all but empty.

     and the wind froze everything it touched as far as i could see up ahead of me so my feet stopped moving.

and i quit breathing.

and i sat there thinking turning blue.

[suttonalthisar]

wow.  this is the best.

[explore-blog]

A rare and remarkably profound 1995 interview with the late and great Jeff Buckley.

[suttonalthisar]

"come in the tent with us!"

[suttonalthisar]

i dedicated today to myself:  reading, writing, walking, three meals, therapy, massage, yoga*.  i think i feel alright.

*i reanimated my dormant, nascent yoga practice, tonight.  as class began, i was instantly struck by the potent feeling of ritual in the room, a gathering of us with an intent that gave the night a weight that felt like life lived, rather than time passed.  not sure why i chose to start out with a "core and inversions" class, though.

(picture is vivi at moocaboola fète)