i know that test tube baby can’t cook
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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@suzunara
i know that test tube baby can’t cook
Sorry Sonic, Your stay in the story has been extended. Indefinitely.
AWW HOLY FLIP BUT SONICS FACE AT THE END BAHAHAHA😭😭
When border negotiations turned into a skirmish, Izuna cursed himself slightly for being injured. He wasn't very careful earlier and he paid a price for that with a cut across his right leg.
Izuna had to put down his sword to use his signature fireball jutsu, until a suiton dragon crashed down the enemy formation, thus making Konoha gaining the upper hand.
cw: mpreg. Pregnant Madara.
I'd like to think even if Konoha was established under minimum conflict (Izuna didn't die, Zetsu never meddled, the Uchihas are happy), Hashirama and Madara SOMEHOW still stuck in their pathetic pining phase with miscommunication.
It's pitiful as much as how astounding the situation was. Tobirama felt like laughing and cringing so hard.
It'll also be extra crack if Tobirama and Izuna ACTUALLY ended together first rather than Hashimada. And even with Tobirama's announcement he would like to take Izuna's hand in marriage, Hashirama still wouldn't get the fucking hint, and Madara was miserable.
Hashirama declined various proposals (Mito still went to Konoha because Touka was far hotter than any women in Uzushio), Madara also claimed he had his heart dedicated to someone else ....... everyone in Konoha and their cats correctly guessed Madara's beloved was Hashirama, it's just that the subjects of the gossip are heavily dense to realize.
Now to twist this up, LET'S ADD A BABY
Hashi and Mada, drunk off their socks, they consummated outside of wedlock and guess what happened few weeks later lmao.
Madara threw up all over his carefully tended garden and even in the engawa. Izuna was terrified over the prospect that his brother was terminally sick.
No Izuna, your brother wasn't sick. He's just carrying the future heir of the Senju and Uchiha clan.
The news actually sent a storm in the two previously mentioned clans. Everyone scrambled and wild guessing who the father was, but it didn't take Tobi, Izu, Mito, and Touka minutes to deduce who the baby daddy was.
Mito: this is quite a scandal ... they must marry straight away
Tobirama, *nodding sagely* indeed, I did half expected my nephew/niece would be conceived out of wedlock, but I am worried for their safety because they're conceived out of wedlock
Izuna: ARGHH I can't stand it if they start to accuse my brother for willing to have a bastard child!!!
Izuna: though ... how come by brother fell pregnant before me? Tobirama you better up your game
Tobirama: Izuna!!
Mito: boys ....
Thankfully, Madara later confessed the father was Hashirama. Which this sent Konoha to another whirlwind because WHAAAAAT?! OUR SHODAIME FUCKED THE UCHIHA CLAN HEAD?!
But then! Lucky on us and the village, Hashirama took responsibility by marrying Madara to ensure the baby's security (after a long discussion with their younger brothers if Madara wanted the baby or not. Madara wanted it and Hashirama wouldn't lie; he was very happy.)
Finally, FINALLY, Hashirama and Madara confessed during their wedding night.
It started when Hashirama offered he would sleep in a separate room and Madara could take the master bedroom. Madara insisted they should sleep together as a married couple, but Hashirama declined gently because he had sullied Madara enough. And oh it actually made Madara snap. He waited far too long until he was pregnant so might as well spilled the beans.
First he exploded at Hashirama for being so fucking dense, insulting him but also not at the same time (idk how Madara managed to do that it's impressive.), and then he confessed he had waited for Hashirama to declare his love for him for years ... and if Hashirama doesn't love him, marrying him for the sake of heirs was enough for Madara.
He was willing to put down his pride for Hashirama, and it made the heartbreak felt worse for Madara.
That actually do the trick. Because the next thing was Hashirama pinning Madara to the nearest wall with desperation and hope. He had to hear those words from Madara, he HAD to hear it again that Madara loves him.
Their wedding night and honeymoon went smoothly without a hitch. And it even bore satisfying results.
Tobirama and Izuna expected the worse post Hashimada honeymoon (sleeping in separate rooms was one of them), but Izuna was the one crying tears of happiness when Hashirama-nii and Madara greeted them hand in hand.
9 months later, Konoha celebrated the birth of Senju Kazuki. Some undercover shinobis from other hidden villages had the privilege to witness Hashirama looking proud and smug because his expression screamed "yeah me and Madara made our son. He will be Konoha's brightest prodigy."
— omake!!
Madara, in the middle of feeding his newborn son: so Izuna, when will you have your own little one with Tobirama?
Izuna: nii-san?!?!?! I thought you still despise Tobirama????
Madara: I still do don't worry *evil grin* but I am willing to put down my distaste over that ... guy—
Izuna: that "guy" is my husband by the way
Madara: yes him. Well, the point is maybe I want a niece from you, otouto
Izuna: *internally screams as his face burns from embarrassment*
- meanwhile with Hashirama and Tobirama
Hashirama: so Tobi, I think it's high time for you to also have a little one with Izuna
Tobirama: rest assured anija, we're working on it *smirks faintly*
Madara's Juno position is Hashirama stabbing him from behind
More tobiizu au with canon divergence but it's crack?? Hear me out.
Idol Izuna. He's pretty much Sabrina Carpenter or Robin from Honkai Starrail esque— angelic voice with an equally adorable face card and personality. Madara obviously knew of his brother's budding talent and he supported him.
Izuna who utilized his late father's super useful chakra infused scrolls to sing and send those scrolls to different clans. And all receivers of it actually enjoyed his songs, ESPECIALLY Tobirama.
Tobirama was Izuna's biggest fanboy (he doesn't know that Izuna was the mysterious singer yet) and he listened to the debut song religiously until Hashirama was concerned he's actually addicted.
I'd like to think after Konoha's founding, Hashirama as Hokage he officialized the Uchiha's clan summer solstice festival; celebration for their patron goddess, becoming a yearly event.
Everyone in the village not only could get to enjoy the fabulous day full of fire performances (pun intended) and delicious spicy foods, but also ...
Uchihas. Beautiful and gorgeous Uchihas are everywhere.
Imagine if the Uchiha clan has this sparkling filter most shoujo anime on— yeah that's the imagery of it.
Madara and Izuna with their hair up and laughing freely and grilling food, Naori and her cousins making mochis, even Hikaku stuffing his face with food he still looked gorgeous.
Hashirama, Tobirama, Mito, and Touka in the venue are like: holy shit.
Hashirama: I need Madara (carnally. Staring shamelessly at the man)
Tobirama: ... I like Izuna?! (Harsh realization)
Mito and Touka: (planning how to win over Naori and date her)
Something something about Tobirama (after he got over the Uchiha hater thing) he noticed Izuna's growing potential as a powerful sensor nin like him, so he offered to train him and taught him a thing or two.
A year later they were known as a deadly sensor duo, struck awe and fear in all 5 nations, and Tobirama pined HARD for Izuna
Part 1 (or part one and only, I don't know but this may have a continuation)
I'm making a new canon to Narutoe, no need to thank m
edit: there is Part 2, lol
clown to clown communication, soon to be clown on clown violence
Part 2 of Hashirama and Madara being the love birds, Tobirama and Izuna going on dates and don't even know about it and Mito just being the queen because she doesn't deserve anything less ♥
Part 1 here
the couples crying after their first birth? (could be hsmd or tbiz or both!)
Hashirama's not gonna calm down for a long long time
Bonus:
Izuna has not hit the realization that he's gonna be a parent forever yet.
❤️
oh um... baguette?
Transcribed:
["Duke, you did not tell me about your fascinating hobby"
"Pardon?"
"I heard on the streets of Fontaine that you have teh best buns in the nation..."
"..." "When I asked the Traveller about it they said, and I quote: "He has a whole bakery down there"
"Monseigneur..."
"So, I thought, if it's not too much to ask, could I try them. your buns? Or, perhaps, I could ask for something sweeter: like a creampie?"
"Sir, please..."]
I love Zhongli who leaves gifts like a bouquet of flowers or maybe trinkets for Ajax after the Osial incident.
Ajax who felt touched by Zhongli's attempts at forgiveness and courting, but he doesn't know how to respond back just as impactful.
A week later, Zhongli found a letter at his office from Ajax.
And oh~ how Zhongli still remembers the light scent of Ajax's familiar perfume from his homeland, sticking on the paper like airy honey.
And the content of Ajax's letter that's etched in his mind for centuries to come.
"To Zhongli
I hope this letter finds you well. First, thank you so much for all the gifts you delivered to the Northland Bank, specifically to my office (according to Ekaterina's words)
I love it so much Zhongli, you have no idea how much it means to me.
I'm still not ready to see you right now, but please remember this—
I love you.
- Ajax"
Zhongli would gladly wait even thousands of years for Ajax.
If it's Ajax? He would do anything.
howl’s moving castle au <3
GAAAHHHHHH ENE-SAN