hello babes i have a mikasa request good ole’ scissoring pls 🙂↕️🙂↕️
ouuu #needthat
jokes aside, realistically speaking, mikasa would be very much into tribbing for the mere thought of having a connection with you; it’s the way both of you can feel the pleasure as you rub against one another, aughh.
mikasa who loves to lay on the bed and just take it…staring as you spread her thighs open to reveal her glistening cunt, lifting one of her legs to your shoulder and attaching your pussy to hers. her hair disheveled along the pillow, gently gripping at your hips for balance as you lower yourself, feeling her clit as it throbs.
mikasa who, despite the fact that you’re on top of her, bothers on taking control of the whole situation, telling you how you should move/what you ought to do…etc. mikasa, whose words are as sweet as honey, coating you in compliments for how beautiful you are/how good you’re doing, i know that girl talks you thruu it fo’ sure.
“alright,” she rasps, oddly concentrated yet soothed. “yeah baby, just like that.”
you’re fucking soaking from her praise, your pussy gets visibly wetter as she speaks- read: not even touching you, speaks. your clit twitches against hers in the most ethereal way, her cheeks flush red at the sight of your focused expression, genuinely devoted to make her feel any kind of pleasure. foolish of you to think she wouldn’t notice, hence why she showers you with praise.
“my pretty girl, doing so good for me….” coos from beneath, her voice sounds like an alluring siren call you’re chasing feverishly. your grinding sets a rhythm against her big, swollen clit (mikasa who has a big clit….sue me) as your cunt merely pulses with each roll of your hips. it doesn’t take you long to be close, mikasa knows you have your ways and, one of the many factors that come with it, struggle to last long; luckily, she won’t bat an eye- instead, she finds it cute how your moans pitch a few octaves in very small batches.
she suits herself comfortably, adjusting her hips by pushing them upwards which, consequently, causes a unadvertised thrust to bump against your cunt as you gasp simultaneously. “f-fuck..!!” you squeal, lifting yourself upon, jerking. “shh,” grasping at your waist, “i got you baby, don’t run from it,”
mikasa who’s pretty attentive to your presence & makes sure you won’t get cramps from the position. mikasa who enjoys your eagerness to ride her clit, which, by the way, feels incredible against your own. mikasa who warns you seconds before she cums, in order to suit yourself and finally let go of your fears to not do it too fast (!!!). “fuck, i’m close,” she pants, teeth gritted & head thrown back on the pillow, “ugh- you feel so good….”
“o-oh….mika!”
mikasa who loves when you squirt….?
tags: @bewitched-pearl @mimipeeeeepee @pancakes21 @bbatzvil @diouna @mariistic @mojo-is-rising @creamypvssy @akiautumnn @thebaddestbitcheva @thatredheadloserlesbian @jazfartz2 @livcdc @cherrybomb61 @stillastilza @420slvtt @glitterunicornstink12 @meriegemeringue @skullio11 → if you wanna join comment on this post !!
ཐི༏ཋྀ tags/cw: first person pov. use of y/n. ooc (maybe? idk). swearing. use of alcohol. use of marijuana. frenemies. lesbian reader. lesbian mikasa ackerman. reader has dyed dark purple highlights. smut (with another character and mikasa). sub bottom reader. dom top mikasa. oral sex (r!receiving). clit rubbing (r!receiving). fingering (r!receiving). blood licking (?). wound licking. biting with fake vampire fangs (both r and m receiving). petnames (baby, angel, darling). no beta we die like eren.
ཐི༏ཋྀ wc: 4k3
ཐི༏ཋྀ not proofread !!
ཐི༏ཋྀ a/n: my first fanfic after YEARS 💔💔 this will probably be shit but whatever, i had a vision. there probably will be minor grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes honestly dont mind them, english isnt my first language lol. uhh i hope u all like this i wanted to contribute smth to the community bcs we barely get mikasa fanfics anymore. anyways, enjoy!!! reposts and likes really motivate me so i hope u all show support.!!!!!!
Mikasa and I, our relationship is “complicated”. The type that makes our friends nervous when it comes to hanging out with both of us at the function, we bicker a lot, and that’s something the group’s used to by now.
To be fair, it shouldn’t be considered “bickering” because it’s just her provoking me with one single backhanded comment to make me blabber constantly while she continues to not give a fuck like she didn’t start it first. I wouldn’t call us “friends”, but we don’t hate each other to that point either.
I mean, how can you hate someone you barely even know? Hate is a strong word, I just strongly dislike her presence.
But everything started to shift after one night at Eren and Jean’s Halloween party.
Halloween, October 31st 𓂃⋆.˚
Eren and Jean’s been known for their sick ass parties but not everyone's invited, to avoid random weirdos showing up at Jean’s house. Though it’s an invite only party, his house is always packed, obviously because he and Eren know basically half of the campus. Every year, he hosts a Halloween party and of course, our group’s going. Perk’s of having the Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirstein in your friend group.
So there I was, arriving at Jean’s house along with Sasha, Historia, Ymir and Connie. Sasha and Connie went matching as Mario and Luigi, obviously their chaotic asses would pull some shit like that.
She was supposed to be matching with Niccolo but sadly, he couldn’t come because of extra shifts at the restaurant he’s working at. Can’t really blame them for wanting to keep him there all day, the man’s cooking is no joke, no wonder he bagged Sasha without even trying. They were made for each other.
Sometimes I wonder if there’s someone out there for me too, somewhere.
Ymir and Historia came as Marceline and princess Bubblegum. They’re my favourite lesbians ever, I aspire to have a relationship like theirs one day. Having them in our friend group is truly a relief for me because I have people who understand me. It’s not like I can’t talk about my love life with Sasha, my best friend, or my other friends. Sometimes straight people just don’t understand how dating works as a lesbian. Ymir and Historia do, I appreciate having friends like them.
I came as Elissabat from Monster High. Black ruffled blouse with a dark purple corset, layered black and deep plum frilly skirts, black lacy thigh highs and matching colored boots.
As for my hair and makeup, I didn’t do much for my hair since I recently got dark purple streaks, just styled it a little. I went all dark purple toned for my makeup from eyeshadow to lipstick. I even put on fake fangs to be extra,
makes me look like an actual vampire. To top it all off was layered gothic necklaces and chokers.
“Here we are, ladies.” Connie excitedly said while he and Sasha wasted no time jumping out of the car, racing each other into Jean’s house.
That leaves only me, Ymir and Historia. Yeah, leave the lesbians behind.
Ymir chuckles, shaking her head “Jaeger and Kirstein really outdid themselves this year, huh?” As we all walk towards the well decorated Kirstein mansion.
“That’s our Eren and Jean, the whole campus doesn’t call all their parties ‘legendary’ for nothing.” I made air quotation marks to Ymir as Historia giggled at my comment.
“You better get laid tonight, mid-terms are over and you are extremely underfucked.” I sighed at Historia. “I hope so, didn’t wear a matching lacy set under all this for nothing.” I smirked, gesturing at my costume making them chuckle as we stepped through the door, walking to the kitchen where everybody else was.
We got here earlier than other people who were invited. Again, another privilege of being best friends with Eren and Jean.
“Alright, I'm getting us drinks.” Ymir clapped her hands together before walking away to the drink table, HIstoria following behind, leaving me there.
First thing I noticed was Eren, Armin and Mikasa. Eren dressed as Tyler Durden from Fight Club.
Of course his performative male ass would go for something like that. I chuckled lightly to myself.
“Heya guys, welcome to Jaeger and Kirstein’s Halloween fiesta. Feel free to get wasted, m’kay?” He welcomed me with a hug, I laughed as I hugged him back. “Sure, Eren”
Armin and Annie had matching Light and Misa Amane costumes from Death Note.
Next to them was… Mikasa fucking Ackerman as Mavis from Hotel Transylvania. Her eyes straight in my direction, analyzing my costume from top to bottom.
Is she… checking me out…?
I gulped nervously at her gaze as it travelled up again, we locked eyes for a millisecond making my heart sink to the bottom of my ass, for some reason I’m not sure, before she turned back her head to whatever Eren’s talking about.
“Jesus Christ what is it with lesbians and their obsession with vampires.” Ymir joked, making me snap out of whatever trance I was in, assuming she’s already seen Mikasa’s costume.
I laughed, quietly thanking Historia for getting me a drink.
“You guys are basically matching if you think about it.” Ymir sipped at her drink, gesturing at both me and Mikasa. “How so? Please elaborate, because we’re both vampires?” I questioned her in disbelief.
Don’t even dare associate me with her.
“Technichally.” Ymir replied and I snapped back immediately. “That’s bullshit logic, you’re a vampire too.” I pointed at her costume.
“Yeah but this vampire already has someone to match with. Ain’t that right, bonibel?” Ymir gave Historia a peck on the lips, making me fake gag.
The house started to be packed with people. “Enough with associating me with her, it makes me physically ill.” I jokingly held my stomach.
“What are you scared or something? I never understood whatever grudge you guys held against each other.” She nonchalantly said, Historia hitting her on the shoulder making her wince. “She’s been mean to Y/n since the very start, Ymir. I don’t blame her for not wanting to be associated with Mikasa in any way.”
“Whatever, I don’t wanna care about her tonight. I just wanna find some cute girl to fuck me.” I rolled my eyes, sitting down along with them.
After a moment, I started having the urge to want to party. I said goodbye to the couple before walking away to find Sasha. That girl knows how to party.
I spotted her cheering on Connie taking shots.
“Hey, Sash!” I walked up to her and her face lit up, gasping “Oh my god, Y/n! Baby, you have to take shots with me” She dragged me before I got the chance to agree.
“5 shots each, please.” Sasha requested the guy who was pouring the drinks.
5 shots?! I’ve never taken that many but whatever, I needed this anyways.
“Okay, baby. Ya ready for this?” My best friend lifted her shot glass up, waiting for my answer. “Baby, I was born ready.” I lifted my shot glass up to clink with hers before we both downed our first shot.
Shaking my head at the burning feeling of alcohol down my throat.
“Wowza!” She shook her head excitedly. “Again! We have 4 shots left.” I giggled at her enthusiasm before we took the rest of our 4 shots.
“Okay, let’s fucking dance!!!” Sasha jumped up all of a sudden, taking my hand to the dance floor. “Sasha, calm down, we have plenty of time.” I laughed but still letting her drag me anyways, since when did Sasha Braus ever not get anything that she wants? Am I right?
⊹ ࣪ ˖ Now playing – Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland
Sasha gasped at the song change. “This is my shit!! Y/n, dance with me.” She started moving her hips, swaying to the rhythm making me sway my hips to the music along with her.
Losing myself in the music, I felt my body making contact with another. Turning around, I found myself looking at a really pretty girl in a Black Cat costume.
Will this finally be my night?
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, I didn’t really see you there.” I nervously apologized for bumping into her. “It’s okay, darling. I didn’t mind, I was gonna ask if you wanted to dance with me?” She moved her hands down to my hips to pull me in, making me a flustered mess.
“How could I say no to a pretty girl like you?” Feeling bold, I smiled up at her. “Well, that’s great to hear, would be a waste to let such a pretty girl dance here all alone. “ She twirled my hair around her finger as we began to sway our hips to the music with my back against her chest.
As we danced together, she started to move her hand all over my body making me feel all warm, especially between my thighs.
I just want a quick fuck, it doesn’t have to mean anything.
Turning around, I wrapped my arms around her neck. “Can I say something?” I whispered into her ear. “What is it, baby?” She seductively questioned me.
“I really wanna kiss you right now.” I hear her chuckle at my answer, making me feel even more sticky down there. Before she replied, I grazed my eyes around to see none other than Mikasa Ackerman with some random short blonde haired girl on her lap, staring at me… dead in the eyes. That weird familiar feeling rising in my stomach once again.
“Yeah, baby? What’s stopping you… hm?” The girl I was dancing with said, snapping me out of my trance. “Nothing.” I looked up at her, batting my eyelashes.
I made eye-contact with Mikasa one last time before crashing my lips onto the girl’s lips, making out sloppily. She licked my lips, asking for permission to shove her tongue into my mouth. Our tongues started to fight for dominance and hers won.
Pulling away, I breathed heavily. “You wanna… go somewhere a little private?” I smirked up at the girl, playing with the zipper of her body suit. “Lead the way.” I dragged her by the belt to the nearest bathroom.
Entering the bathroom, I sat myself perfectly on the sink as she closed the door before her and wasted no time putting her lips onto mine to make out with me again. “You’re so fucking hot, you know that right?” She moved down to my neck, littering kisses and hickies along the way. Lifting her head up to look at me. I flashed her smile, making sure she saw my fangs. “Fuck, you trying to kill me?”
I felt bold so I started kissing her neck to then bite her with my glued on fangs, making her groan. Her hands started to travel up my thighs, stopping in front of my clit over my lacy panties. I lifted my skirt up for her to see more. “Aw I made you this wet baby?” I whimpered at her taunt.
She moved my panties to the side and started to gently rub my clit making me whimper at the sensation. “Yeah? That feels good, baby?” She picked up her pace. I let out a loud whimper before covering my mouth, realizing how loud I was. “Shh baby, don't hide your beautiful sounds.” She pulled my hands away from my mouth. She moved her head down between my thighs to lap at my folds and suck at my clit. “F-fuck..! If you keep eating my pussy like that, I’m gonna cum.” I pulled at her hair to shove her deeper into my pussy.
“You gonna cum, baby? Cum for me.” She lapped at my pussy faster. “Fuckfuckfuck!” I started blabbering, as I came closer to reaching climax. “I’m gonna cu-” Her lips detach from my pussy before I could cum as the door opens.
Who the fuck would come in at this time?!
The girl wiped her lips with the fabric of her costume as she stood up, clearly caught off guard by whoever barged in.
I looked up to see a face that I wanted to avoid all night. Of course Mikasa Ackerman.
“Sasha’s wasted, she’s dancing on table tops right now.” Mikasa coldly said like she didn’t just stop me from having the best orgasm of my life.
“I should uh… go, I had a good time.” The girl I was making out with ran out of the door in an instant, before I could call her back.
I flipped my skirt back down and jumped off the sink counter. “You couldn’t have fucking knocked?! What the fuck is your problem, Ackerman?” I angrily walked up to her. “Your best friend could get hurt right now, you’re really giving a fuck about being interupted while getting head by some random girl?” She talked back at me.
“You couldn’t have gotten anybody else? That’s just an excuse for you to ruin everything for me again. Fuck you.” I walked out of the bathroom to check on Sasha, making sure to bump into her shoulder with mine. “You fucking wish.” Of course she had to have the final word.
Walking back into the house, I see Eren and Jean carrying Sasha as she cried about food or whatever the fuck. “Hey, hey is she okay?” I ran up to them.
“Yeah, just had too much to drink. Hold her for me will ya, I need to call Niccolo to pick her up?” I nodded, carrying Sasha with Jean while Eren called her boyfriend.
Observing, Eren nodded at his phone before hanging up. “Okay!! Party’s over, everyone go home. Except you guys duh.” He waved at everyone to leave, sparing us.
A moment later, the house began to clear up. Niccolo also came by to pick up Sasha. “She’s so fucking wasted.” I told Jean as we just gave Sasha to her boyfriend. “Well, that’s sure our Sasha.” He chuckled while walking alongside me back into his house.
“GUYS!!! BASEMENT. NOW.” Connie’s loud voice echoed through the house.
“For what?” I questioned, taking my makeup pouch out of my bag to retouch my makeup ruined by the gorgeous gorgeous girl I just made out with that Mikasa had to fucking ruin. “It’s only 10pm, Sasha got wasted way too early. So we’re gonna get high in Kirstein’s basement and play childish games.” Connie said and I shook my head in disbelief but still followed him down to the basement.
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
Entering the basement with Connie and Jean following behind me. Another privilege of being best friends with Eren and Jean is getting to stay after their parties, like an exclusive after-party.
Hanging out, getting high, playing dumb drinking games is our group’s thing.
“TIME TO GET FUCKING HIGH!!!” Connie shouted, snatching the unlit blunt from Eren’s hands to light it up himself. “Mhmm, that’s the shit” He takes a hit from the blunt, heavily sitting his ass onto the couch, then passing the blunt to Eren on his left.
Laughing at his hyper personality, reminding me of Sasha. Him and Sasha really are what they call “platonic soulmates”. I spotted Ymir and Historia sitting on the couch across from the one Connie’s sitting on.
“Ugh” I plopped myself next to them. “So… did you get any pussy tonight?” Historia teasingly nudged me. “Kind of? I don’t know but mine did get eaten for a moment.” I replied.
“The fuck you mean ‘for a moment’?” Ymir asked me, taking a hit from the blunt passed from Reiner. “Got interrupted mid-orgasm.” I exhaustedly leaned back into the couch to get comfortable.
“Seriously? Who the fuck would barge in without knocking? Don’t they know that people usually fuck in bathrooms at parties?” She passed the blunt to me, skipping Historia because she didn’t want to get high tonight.
I grabbed the blunt from her, taking a hit from it and inhaling the smoke before answering. “You wouldn’t guess who.” I blew out the smoke.
“Who?” They both asked in unison. I tilted my head in the opposite direction, where she was sitting. “You know who.” The couple’s jaws dropped.
“Seriously? Lesbians can’t do anything normally huh?” Historia said, clearly still shocked after what I just told them.
“Deadass. She totally scared the girl away before I got the chance to get her number.” I reached forward to give the blunt to Connie for him to repeat the rotation. “Even had the audacity to tell me Sasha could get hurt when she’s clearly taken care of.” I rubbed my temples.
“Fuck my fuckass loser lesbian life. I’m getting nowhere in life.” I dropped my head onto Historia’s shoulder. “It’s okay, baby. You’ll get there one day.” She patted my head.
Gosh this girl really is an angel, Ymir you lucky bastard.
“It’s getting boring. Let’s play something!!” Obviously it was Connie who stood up. “Kind of a bummer that Sasha isn’t here to help me with these stupid games but I'll manage one night without her.” He shrugged, rummaging through the junk Jean had in his basement.
“Ah hah!! We got our game of the night gang.” He lifted up a jar full of strips of paper. Seven minutes in heaven. “Oh god no.” Reiner dragged his hand down his face.
“What? It’s fun, also we haven’t played this for a while.” Connie placed the jar onto the table. “Okay, you all probably know the rules but whatever I wanna talk. Jean will be my host buddy today because Sasha’s not here, bless her. Stand up Jean-boy.” He grabbed Jean’s hand to pull him up from his place from the couch, making him groan.
“Me and Jean will pick out two random names from the jar. The two people we choose will spend seven minutes in this closet and do whatever the hell you want. If you wanna pussy out, then you have to take a shot.” Connie explained the rules like we don’t know them already. “Are you all clear?” The whole group nodded.
“Okay!! First person.” He stuck his hand into the jar that Jean’s holding. “Historia.” He read from the small piece of paper. “Your turn, Jean-boy.” Taking the jar from Jean’s hand. Jean pulled out a piece of paper.
“Armin.” He read out loud, looking at Armin’s direction.
“Well shit.” I teased Ymir. “Fuck off, they basically look like twins.” She responded, making me laugh.
Armin, who was clearly nervously sweating his ass off because of his girlfriend starring daggers into him. “Yeah, I’ll pussy out for once.” He grabbed the shot of tequilla and downed it, wincing at the alcohol burning his throat. Historia copying his gesture.
Annie walks that man like a dog.
“Boooo. Boring!!” Connie blew a raspberry, resuming the game.
A few rounds passed by… one round Eren and Jean had to go in the closet which was crazy. Their toxic yaoi potential is crazy. The other two rounds were both Mikasa, one with Annie and the other with Bertholdt but she pussied out for both.
So fucking boring. I thought to myself.
“Okay! New rule, you only get to pussy out twice. On your third time, you have to go into the closet whether you like it or not.” Connie explained the new rule. “I’m looking at you Mikasa, no pussying out this time.” He pointed at Mikasa, who rolled her eyes.
“Next!... Y/n!!!” He shouted. Great, I can’t pussy out. I already took 5 shots with Sasha, I don’t think I can manage another also I’m high as fuck right now. So whoever Jean picks out, I have t-
“Mikasa… again.” Jean sternly called out. My heart dropped straight down to my ass. The whole room let out a combination of ‘ooo’s, way too familiar with our “rivalry”.
“What the fuck.” I mouthed to Ymir and Historia next to me. They both shrugged while I sat there, still processing what’s happening until a voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“You gonna come or you gonna keep staring at the floor like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.” Mikasa coldly said. I looked up at her with a scowl, still mad at what happened in the bathroom.
Without replying, I walked past her to enter the closet. Connie shut the door and started the timer after she went in.
“Let’s get this over with and stand in here until our time’s up” I said, avoiding eye contact with her as much as possible.
The closet was so cramped that I felt claustrophobic. No, that’s just an excuse, the real reason was the space was so small. Mikasa’s body was almost touching mine, I could even hear her heartbeat.
“Yeah, it’s not like you’re that interesting to do anything with either.” She said, clearly unbothered, of fucking course she is, keeping up that nonchalant act. I wasted no time snapping back “The fuck does that even mean? What is your issue? You barge into a clearly occupied bathroom knowing I was in it and now you’re pulling shit like this?”
“Like what? Stating the obvious? You’re best friend was clearly wasted and you’d rather give a fuck about getting to cum, then that speaks volumes on how good of a friend you are.” She stated, making my blood boil.
“Whatever, this was supposed to be a perfect night and it was until you came along… you never fail to ruin everything for me.” I scoffed, eyes fixated on my hands playing with the frills of my skirt.
“So, is this what this is? You pissed at me because you didn’t get to cum?” She said but this time in an unfamiliar condescending tone. I felt heat pooling between my legs.
“None of your business, I’m always pissed at you.” I averted my eyes to my manicured nails, picking at my cuticles. “Fucking look at me when I talk to you.” She grabbed my face out of nowhere, forcing me to look at her.
What the fuck is happening right now and why am I not fighting back? My breath hitched at her sudden movement.
Our faces were inches away, her hot breath fanning over my lips. “Nothing? Cat got your tongue, angel?” She squeezed the cheeks together. I let out a whimper, absentmindedly. “Aw you like it rough, angel? Is that it? You want me to make it up to you by making you cum?” Without thinking, I nodded at her suggestion.
“I need you to use your words for me, angel.” She ordered and I submitted immediately. “Yes, please.”
“Atta girl.” She wasted no time crashing her lips onto mine. Kissing me roughly, unlike the softness of the other girl.
Detaching her lips from mine, I chased them, craving for more. Moving down to my neck she started kissing and sucking over the marks the previous girl left on my neck. “Mine, fucking mine.” Whispering into my neck creating vibrations making me let out a small whimper.
Before I knew it, I felt a sharp pain on my neck. The fucking bitch also had fake fangs on. Sinking them into the flesh of my sensitive skin, enough to draw a little blood. Licking my blood, I moaned at the stinging feeling. Her hand traveled up my thighs, under my skirt to move my panties aside, moving her fingers up and down my slit.
“Fuck you’re so wet for me.” Mikasa rubbed my clit in circles before lifting my ass up to slide my black lacy panties down my thighs.
“You guys have 5 minutes left!!!” Connie shouted from outside. “We only have 5 minutes left, are you sure?” I nervously asked her, whimpering when she added a finger into my sopping wet cunt. “5 minutes is all I need.”
I wrapped my hands around her neck, pulling her closer as she started to move her finger in and out of me. Then she added a second finger to stretch me out.
“Fuck!! It burns.” I let out whimpers into her neck. “Shhh baby, you can take it.” She started curling her fingers in my pussy. “Feels good, angel?”
“Mhm.. so f-fucking good.” I started kissing her neck, leaving hickies on her skin. “F-faster, Mika..!” I requested as I felt myself reaching climax.
“You want me to go faster?” She picks up her pace, the thumb of her other hand rubbing my clit to make me cum faster.
“M-mika.. I’m gonna cum…” Hiding my whimpers in the crook of her neck. “Cum for me, angel…” I sank my fake fangs into her neck as I felt myself come undone under her fingers. “Fuck..!” I began to ride out my high on her fingers.
“1 minute left!!!” Connie shouted. That was our cue, Mikasa pulled her fingers out of my gushing cunt. Putting them into her mouth, sucking them clean while maintaining eye-contact with me.
I started to grow nervous under her gaze. Breaking eye-contact, I pulled up my panties. Fixing my hair, I turned to Mikasa. She held up her hand to my face, wiping my smudged purple lipstick.
“Okay times up, you sluts decent yet?” Connie asked from the other side of the door. “Fuck off, Springer. We didn’t do anything.” He opened the door, shocked at the sight before him.
Mikasa and I, lipstick no longer on either of our lips, hickies littered all over both of our necks. He gasped “HATE SEX!!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT. Kirstein, you owe me 20.” Throwing his hands up, pointing at Jean.
I sighed, walking out of the closet to my seat next to Ymir and Historia. “Jesus Christ, did you guys really..?” Historia looked at me, shocked. “...Yeah.” I replied back quietly, still processing. “Holy shit, did she bite you? Is that fucking blood? You kinky ass whores.” Ymir pointed at the obvious bite mark on my neck. I huffed, burying my head into my hands.
What did I get myself into.
“Mikasa, is that blood on your neck?” Eren also pointed at Mikasa’s neck, where I bit her with my glued-on fangs. “Fuck off.” She swatted his hand away.
It didn’t mean anything. We just got lost in the moment. Also we’re both high as fuck and drunk. Yeah, that’s about right.
a/n: aaahahdeuifowdms i hope yall enjoyed this😭 please like and repost if you did lol. new updates will be coming soon!!!!
summary: mikasa and y/n have never been fond of each other since the very beginning, everyone knows that but one night at a halloween party changed everything. feelings that they’ve been avoiding all this time start to come to surface but will they be able to face those feelings or will they keep ruining it for themselves?
tags: frenemies to frenemies w benefits to lovers. ooc. use of y/n. modern au. angst. hurt/comfort. smut (contents will be listed in chapters). lesbian reader. lesbian mikasa ackerman. reader has dark purple highlights. yumihisu as reader’s best lesbian pals. tw for that louise bitch who’s obsessed w mikasa in s4
synopsis : who would expect the popular girl to be fucking a goth loser like mikasa ackerman? not even you, but something about her that not even your guilt could stop, had you coming back to her. like they say, opposites attract
tags : mdni, lesbians, smut, fingering, cunnilingus, car sex, internalized homophobia, toxic yuri, repressed fem reader, angst, mommy issues, mexican eren, dominican connie, reader has problems, everybody gay fight me, college au, friend group cliches, flawed characters, everybody ooc, eremin, ymihisu, subplots, reader is MEAN && a bit toxic +++
a/n : heavily inspired by mean girls mikasa fic that was taken down years ago on wattpad (rip kagscs </3), reblogs && likes are much appreciated
ppl barely write mikasa x fem!readers anymore omg PLEASE COME BACK ive searched for hours on wattpad found nothing but one fic and its last update was 3 months ago 💔💔
summary: when your housing falls through, the last person you want to end up living with is your best friend’s arrogant, hockey-playing brother, satoru gojo. sharing a space with him feels like being trapped in the sin bin, but the longer you live together, the harder it is to ignore the fact that breaking the rules might be worth the penalty.
pairing: ice hockey player!gojo satoru x fem!reader
details: fluff, angst, smut (fingering, nipple play, riding, couch sex, shower sex), enemies to lovers au, roommates au, best friend’s brother au, college au. contains: profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of death. art by kynlv1. 16.2k words.
sin bin (n.) – (in sport) a box or bench to which offending players can be sent for a period as a penalty during a game, especially in ice hockey.
01. how to piss off your new roommate 101 (an introductory course).
There are only three rules you asked Satoru Gojo to follow:
No bringing random girls home.
No hockey gear all over the living room.
Do your own laundry.
Sure, it might not be your house, because, technically, you’re the one moving in, but you think you’re being pretty reasonable. It’s just your bad luck that your new roommate happens to be the worst at following rules, because right now, at one o’clock in the morning, you are subject to him breaking rule number one already—and very loudly, at that.
There’s a thud against the wall, and a muffled laugh, followed by a low, drawn-out groan that sends every nerve in your body firing at once—though not in the way Gojo’s current “guest” might be feeling. You clutch the pillow over your head, suffocating yourself with cotton in a desperate attempt to block out the obscene noises. It doesn’t work. Nothing does. Not your loud sighs, not the rustle of your own blanket, not even the way you jam your phone’s speaker against your ear and crank your playlist until the bass rattles.
Your playlist doesn’t stand a chance against Gojo’s bedroom door and his absolute disregard for your sanity.
Rule number one, you think bitterly, staring up at the shadowed ceiling. It wasn’t a suggestion. It was the bare minimum. You had been so clear when you’d moved in three days ago. No random girls; no trail of hockey gear sprawling through the apartment; no mountains of dirty laundry festering in the communal space. Simple, enforceable rules—or so you thought. Apparently, Satoru Gojo is not the kind of man who respects laws, rules, or any other socially acceptable guidelines for how to coexist with another human being. Especially not when he’s this loud.
A particularly obnoxious moan makes you snap. You swing out of bed, feet hitting the cold wooden floor, and stomp into the hallway. You pause in front of his bedroom door, hand hovering in the air, knuckles inches away from knocking. Maybe you should just let it go. It’s not worth the fight. Not worth seeing that infuriating grin of his, the one that makes you want to throw a shoe at his face.
You hear another giggle from inside.
Nevermind. Definitely worth it.
You pound on the door. “Gojo!”
The noises cut off instantly. For a blissful moment, there’s silence—no laughter, no groans, just the sound of your own shallow breathing and the pounding of your fist against the door. Then comes the telltale rustle of sheets, followed by footsteps, slow and deliberate, as if he’s taking his sweet time just to make you more irritated.
“Roomie?” His voice drips with amusement, low and lazy, as if he’s been waiting for this moment all night. “Can’t sleep? You could’ve just asked nicely if you wanted me to tuck you in.”
Your jaw drops, heat rushing to your cheeks—not from embarrassment but from pure, undiluted fury. “Rule. Number. One,” you bite out, enunciating every word. “Do you even remember what rule number one is?”
There’s a soft laugh on the other side of the door, and you can hear his guest giggling faintly too, like this is all some joke to them.
“You’re no fun,” he says. The doorknob clicks, turning slowly.
The door swings open to reveal Satoru Gojo, all six-foot-something of hockey-playing, rule-breaking glory, leaning against the frame. He’s shirtless—of course he’s shirtless—skin glistening with a sheen of sweat that makes you roll your eyes so hard you swear you see your brain. His white hair is mussed and sticking out at odd angles, like he’s just come off the ice—or, well, not the ice, but something just as irritatingly active.
He smirks down at you. “Didn’t know you were such a light sleeper. Or… Are you jealous?”
“Jealous?” Your voice cracks an octave higher. “Of what, exactly? The fact that you sound like you’re starring in a bad porno?”
His laugh is immediate, loud, and unrestrained. He leans closer, bracing one arm against the frame just above your head, his bare chest far too close for comfort. “If you were watching, it’d be a good one.”
Your face burns hotter. “You’re disgusting.”
He laughs again, and the girl—this poor, probably very lovely girl—steps into the hallway behind him, wearing one of his oversized jerseys and looking anywhere but at you.
“I should… probably go,” she mumbles.
“Yeah,” you mutter before he can say anything. “You probably should.”
She scurries past you without a second glance, and you suddenly feel a little bad for her. Not because of Gojo—though he is the worst—but because she has no idea what she’s walked into. She’s just another girl in a long line of them, another notch on his stick, and probably clueless to the fact that he thrives on the attention, not the intimacy.
Gojo watches her disappear around the corner, then turns back to you, his smile gone slack. “You didn’t have to be mean.”
“I wasn’t,” you snap. “I was trying to sleep. Sorry if that’s inconvenient for you and your—whatever.”
Gojo studies you for a moment, his head tilting just slightly as if he’s trying to decipher something written on your face. It’s unnerving, the way his eyes—bright and unnaturally sharp even in the dim hallway—linger on you, taking their time. For the first time tonight, he’s quiet, though not in a way that feels like victory. It’s the kind of quiet that makes you more aware of the rise and fall of his chest, the glimmer of sweat on his skin, his overbearing presence in the narrow hallway.
“Whatever?” he repeats. “That’s harsh, even for you.”
“Do you ever take anything seriously?”
“Not really,” he says. “Keeps me young and pretty, don’t you think?”
The audacity of this man. Pretty. He says it like it’s a fact, like he’s fully aware that half the campus would line up just to run their fingers through that ridiculous white hair. You hate that it is a fact, that his lean, cut frame and infuriating confidence somehow make him stupidly, obnoxiously attractive.
“Unbelievable,” you mutter, crossing your arms over your chest. “Do you even remember the rules we agreed on when I moved in? Or was I talking to one of your empty hockey helmets?”
“You wound me. I’m a great listener. I heard every word you said that day. I just don’t… care.”
Your hands ball into fists. “You don’t care.”
“Not about rules,” Satoru teases. “You, though? I care about keeping you entertained.”
“Entertained?” you echo, incredulous. “By waking me up at one in the morning with—” You cut yourself off, scowling as the words die on your tongue.
He grins and steps forward. “With what, sweetheart?” he asks, voice dipping into that husky, too-casual tone that makes your stomach do stupid things.
You take a step back; then another, until your back almost hits the opposite wall. “You’re impossible,” you spit out, but your voice is thinner than you’d like.
“You’re cute when you’re mad.”
“Stop saying that!”
“What?” His grin widens. “It’s true. You get all flustered. Bet you don’t even know you’re pouting right now.”
“I’m not—” You snap your mouth shut, realising that you are, in fact, pouting, and that only makes his grin that much more smug.
“Adorable,” he says simply, leaning back.
“You’re annoying as fuck.”
“And yet, you moved in here.”
You inhale sharply, the reminder stinging more than you’d like to admit. He’s right—you did agree to this arrangement. You had convinced yourself it was temporary, a few weeks max while you figured out your own place. Riko’s brother had been the last resort. You never expected it to feel like… like this. The hallway feels too small. He’s too close, too much. You can smell his cologne—clean, a little sharp, something that clings to him even after a game or whatever this was. You hate that your brain even registers the detail.
“Go to bed,” you manage to grit out.
“Careful,” Gojo drawls, stepping back. “Sounds like you’re starting to like telling me what to do.”
You don’t dignify that with a response. You spin on your heel, storming back to your room, and slam the door behind you.
You don’t see him again until morning, which, unfortunately, is only a few hours later.
The scent of coffee drags you from your room, bleary-eyed and determined to avoid any and all conversation. But the moment you step into the kitchen, there Satoru is—shirtless again, because apparently he doesn’t own clothes—leaning against the counter. His white hair is damp, still dripping from a shower, and his sweatpants hang low on his hips as he scrolls lazily on his phone.
“Morning, roomie,” he drawls, not looking up. “Sleep well?”
You grab a mug and pour yourself coffee. “You’re lucky I don’t own a bat.”
“Ah, threats of violence. My favourite way to start the day.”
You don’t answer. You can’t, not when he’s standing there like that: hair damp and curling at the ends, little droplets of water slipping down the curve of his neck, trailing over his collarbone. It should be illegal to look that good at 7:42 in the morning, and in sweatpants, no less.
Instead, you wrap both hands around your mug and focus on not throwing it at his stupid, smirking face.
“Awfully quiet this morning,” Gojo muses, locking his phone and tossing it onto the counter. “What happened to the yelling? The righteous fury? The deeply unsexy threats about noise ordinances?”
You take a long, scalding sip of your coffee. “I’m choosing peace today.”
“That so?”
“Yup. Thought I’d try being the bigger person and see how it feels.”
“You sure it’s peace you’re feeling? ‘Cause it kind of looks like repressed rage. Or maybe,” he says, leaning forward slightly, elbows resting on the counter, “you’re just still flustered from last night.”
You nearly choke. “Flustered?”
“Uh-huh. You did knock on my door in the middle of a good time.” He winks. “Can’t blame you for being curious.”
“You’re delusional,” you state.
“Maybe so,” he acquiesces. Gojo’s grin is lazy and crooked, shamelessly amused as he watches you struggle to maintain even a scrap of composure. You busy yourself with sipping coffee again, even though it’s too hot and definitely burning the tip of your tongue. Small price to pay for the distraction.
He shifts his weight and the movement draws your eyes before you can stop yourself—down to where his sweatpants slouch indecently low, the V of his hips on full display. Your eyes snap back to your mug so fast you’re surprised you don’t get whiplash.
“I’m not flustered,” you mutter, mostly to your drink.
Satoru hums, unconvinced. “Of course not. You’re the picture of serenity.”
He reaches for the coffee pot and you realise, with a petty kind of satisfaction, that there’s not enough left for a full cup. You watch, vindicated, as he tips it all into his mug and frowns down at the half-full result.
“You’re the worst,” he says, utterly serious.
“I’m the one choosing peace, remember?”
“That was obviously a lie.”
You shrug and sip. “Maybe I’m just learning from the best.”
Gojo laughs, low and bright, and leans further over the counter, like he’s trying to invade your personal space just for the hell of it. “You’ve got a mouth on you, huh? I like that.”
“Bet you say that to all your roommates.”
“You’re my first,” he says, eyes twinkling. “Be gentle with me.”
You scoff, setting your mug down with more force than necessary. “I don’t even want to know how you ended up on the lease.”
“Simple,” he says, straightening and sauntering toward the fridge. “My old place burned down.”
You blink. “Seriously?”
“Well. Not all the way down. But it did get very, very singed.”
“And they let you sign another lease?”
He turns, carton of milk in one hand, and says, “Yup,” popping the ‘p’ at the end. You roll your eyes so hard you see stars, but there’s a weird warmth curling in your chest now, beneath the irritation and caffeine. Despite yourself, your gaze lingers on him a beat too long—on the line of his shoulders, the relaxed slope of his spine as he leans down to peer into the fridge.
“You gonna keep ogling me or…?” he says without turning.
You startle, cheeks warming. “I wasn’t ogling.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I wasn’t!”
He straightens again, milk in hand, and gives you a look that says he knows he’s won. “You’re bad at lying. Your ears go all red.”
You clap your hands over them instinctively, which only serves to make him chortle. “I hate you,” you grumble, grabbing your mug and heading for the living room.
“I love our morning chats,” he calls after you. “They really centre me for the day.”
You flip him off over your shoulder.
“You’ve got a great energy, roomie! Keep it up!”
It turns into a sort of game, after that: who can rile up their roommate the fastest. Satoru Gojo, of course, plays to win.
He starts small—mild provocations disguised as “accidents.” The shower mysteriously runs cold whenever you step in after him. Your favourite snacks vanish from the cupboard, only to be found later half-eated and crumpled under his bed. He starts setting his alarm ten minutes earlier than yours and singing obnoxiously loud in the mornings. It’s always the same song—something bubblegum pop and irritatingly catchy, like Twice or Britney Spears—and it sticks in your head all day, pulsing behind your eyes like a migraine.
You retaliate, of course. You start leaving passive-aggressive sticky notes around the apartment:
Replace the toilet paper next time, you sicko.
If you touch my almond milk again, I will cut off your balls in your sleep.
Why do you shed like a cat? Buy a lint roller. Freak.
You switch the labels on his shampoo and conditioner. You hide the remote. You change the password on the Wi-Fi.
It only fuels him. The worst part is, the bastard laughs. Every time you glare at him, every time you yell his name across the apartment, every time you swear you’re going to murder him in his sleep, he just grins like the cat that got the cream. Somehow, impossibly, he always wins.
Nanami is already at your usual table in the campus café when you arrive, tossing your bag into the seat opposite him with a force that rattles the salt shaker. He doesn’t look up from his coffee when he asks, “What did he do this time?”
“He unplugged the fridge, Kento,” you groan, slumping into your chair. “The fridge. All my groceries are ruined. My oat milk exploded.”
“Did you check the breaker?”
“Do I look like someone who knows what a breaker is?”
“Yes,” he says. “You are a functional adult. You are enrolled in a university. You should know how electricity works.”
“Okay, Mr. Engineer,” you mutter, rubbing your temples. “I was too busy trying not to throw Gojo out the damn window.”
“I thought you lived on the first floor.”
“Exactly my point.”
You look down, picking at your cuticles. You wish Gojo, your best friend’s annoying brother, wasn’t your last resort. The student dorms were all occupied, and you had to find housing at the last minute. Gojo offered, because he’s known you since you were an acne-riddled teenager in middle school, and also, most likely, out of obligation for his little sister’s best friend. Why else would he put up with you and pay half the rent? You remind yourself that you’re in his house, and not the other way around, and try to stay grateful for that fact.
You also wish you could tell Riko about her older brother, but you can’t because Riko’s dead.
Nanami sets down his cup with a soft clink, eyes lifting at last to meet yours. There’s no pity in them—he’s not the type—but there’s understanding. With every ounce of his understanding nature, Nanami says, flatly, “You’re going to give yourself a stroke before midterms.”
You exhale through your nose, pressing your palms to your eyes. “It’s like he wants me to lose it. He keeps bringing random girls home, Kento. At 3 A.M. And they’re loud. One of them used my toothbrush.”
Nanami looks visibly disturbed. “Why do you know that?”
“Because it was wet.”
“You should throw that out.”
“I did throw it out. And then I wrote a note. And you know what he said? He said, ‘Oh, my bad, was that your toothbrush? I thought it was for guests.’ Guests, Kento. He has a guest toothbrush now, that he keeps in the same cup as mine. I’m being psychologically tortured.”
“He’s always been like this,” Nanami sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s the one being victimised.
“You were on the same team as him for three years,” you say. “How did you not murder him in a locker room?”
“Because I’m not an idiot,” he replies. “I kept my earbuds in and my mouth shut. You, on the other hand, are picking a fight with a man who once got suspended for pelting a referee with jello shots.”
“That was him?” you gasp.
“Of course it was. Who else brings jello shots to a game?”
“I knew it wasn’t a food poisoning incident,” you mutter, leaning back in your chair. “They kept blaming the vendors, but one of those things hit Riko in the back of the head.”
Nanami’s expression softens for a second. He clears his throat, glancing out the window. You follow his gaze, the familiar ache blooming in your chest. It’s been two years since the accident, since the call you never thought you’d get. Since Satoru’s voice broke down over the phone, rasping your name, saying it over and over again like it would change something, like you could undo it just by being there.
Sometimes you forget she’s gone. You still scroll through your photos and stop at the ones of her, still think to text her dumb updates about your day. You still reach for your phone when Satoru does something particularly stupid, your thumb hovering over her name like muscle memory.
It’s worse around him. He reminds you of her—same nose, same stupid grin. Same laughter echoing off the apartment walls, loud and fearless and full of something that’s been missing since she died.
You scrub a hand over your face. “I don’t even know why he let me move in,” you say quietly.
Nanami, annoyingly perceptive as always, says, “Because you’re the only person left who reminds him of her.”
Your throat closes up. You glance away, blinking hard. It’s easier to talk like this with Nanami, with someone who knew her, who understands what’s been left behind in her absence.
It’s just harder when you go home, when Gojo’s waiting in your kitchen, stealing all your forks, leaving crumbs everywhere, making a mess of your carefully managed grief. It’s harder when he smiles at you, wide and unbothered, like nothing in the world could touch him, like he isn’t hurting just as much. Maybe that’s why you haven’t packed up and left, or haven’t demanded he take you off the lease.
“Do you want to come watch us practice today?” your friend asks gently. “You could use the break.”
“Sure,” you agree, nodding.
The rink on campus is mercifully empty, barring the ice hockey players and their coach. You huddle deeper into your hoodie, tugging the sleeves over your palms as your breath fogs in the cold air. The bleachers are metal and unforgiving beneath you, but there’s something calming about the sharp scent of ice and the dull echo of skates carving into the rink. Nanami’s team is already mid-practice, moving like clockwork in their matching jerseys, passing the puck to each other. Nanami’s form is unmistakable—broad shoulders, crisp turns, no-nonsense efficiency. He’s the kind of player who never wastes energy, never showboats.
Which is probably why it takes you a second to notice the blur of white helmet skating circles around everyone else.
Even from here, you can tell it’s Gojo. Nobody else plays like that—reckless, fast, stupidly dramatic. He doesn’t pass so much as he dares his teammates to keep up with him. One second, he’s flicking the puck behind his back to someone mid-sprint; the next, he’s skating backwards while taunting the goalie, stick dragging lazy arcs on the ice. It should be annoying. It is annoying. But it’s also hypnotically, infuriatingly graceful.
You watch, arms tucked tight around your ribs, as Gojo ducks past a defender and pivots sharply on one skate. The move is flashy, unnecessary, but completely effective. He spins just out of reach, like he’s showing off for a crowd that isn’t even there. Then again, knowing him, maybe the absence of an audience is what makes it fun.
He catches the puck again mid-glide, lets it roll across his blade for the briefest second, and sends it arcing across the ice with a lazy flick of his wrist. It lands right where he wants it—at Nanami’s feet. Nanami redirects it into a clean slapshot that smacks against the boards with a heavy thunk. The coach blows his whistle and yells something you can’t quite make out, and the players all begin to split into drills.
Gojo circles back to the bench, tugging off his helmet. His hair is damp and flattened at odd angles, cheeks flushed red from exertion, but he’s smiling. He laughs at something one of the younger players says, throwing his head back like everything in the world exists solely for his amusement. His grin is sharp and his posture is loose with confidence, like he’s never known a moment of self-doubt in his entire life. He stretches his arms overhead, the hem of his jersey riding up just a little over his pads, and you force yourself to look away before your eyes linger too long.
It’s stupid. You’re here to support Nanami. You’re here because your friend thought you needed fresh air, something different, something other than the quiet churn of your own thoughts. You’re not here for him.
But when Gojo finally turns, like he’s felt your eyes on him all this time, and spots you across the rink, he smiles—wider this time. Brighter. You look away too fast to know if he waves.
The drills resume. They’re brutal, repetitive, the kind that test stamina more than strategy. Nanami is steady and solid, the way he always is, never showy but always in the right place at the right time. Gojo, by contrast, is everywhere. He darts around the rink, weaving in and out of formations, making near-impossible shots just to see if he can land them.
You settle into your seat, arms hugging your knees, and try not to think too hard. But it’s hard not to, especially when every stupid little memory rushes in like floodwater. The way Gojo always takes the last Pop-Tart in the box but leaves the wrapper on the counter; the way he sings obnoxiously loud in the shower and always, always manages to steal your charger right when you need it most; the way he tilts his head and looks at you, eyes too blue and too knowing, like he enjoys seeing how close he can get to pissing you off before you snap. Perhaps worst of all: the way he never apologises, just looks at you, smug and smugger, until you roll your eyes and pretend you weren’t mad in the first place.
Asshole.
You don’t realise how long you’ve been staring blankly, wrapped up in your own thoughts, until someone else joins the bleachers. The guy’s tall, wrapped in a wool coat and beanie, sipping a coffee that steams in the cold air. He glances at you briefly, offers a polite nod, and turns his attention back to the rink.
Gojo’s still showing off. The team’s moved to scrimmage now, red versus blue, and he’s the first one to score. He raises both arms in triumph, sticks his tongue out, and skates backward toward the bench, basking in invisible applause.
You groan quietly and bury your face in your hands. “God, I hate him.”
The guy next to you chuckles. “You know him?”
“Yeah,” you say looking up.
“He’s not so bad. Bit of a drama queen, but he’s good. Probably the best player we’ve got.”
You don’t say anything. You don’t want to give Gojo the satisfaction, even by proxy. Instead, you wait for the moment he inevitably catches sight of you again—because of course he does, because nothing in his life is ever subtle. His head tilts. His grin turns sharklike. He lifts his stick and points it right at you, mouthing something across the rink. You groan again and pull your hood up.
Later, when you’re halfway back to your shared apartment, your fingers still freezing from the cold, your phone buzzes.
Gojo: you looked cute freezing your ass off up there
Gojo: want me to warm you up? 😇
You: 🖕
02. the beginnings of affection (an existential crisis).
In high school, you made the grave mistake of telling Riko you thought her older brother was hot. It wasn’t a lie, because he was—tall, lean, unfairly pretty in that model-off-duty way, with a smile that had left many a classmate in a state of ruinous delusion. But back then, he was an idea, a rumour, a hallway myth in an expensive uniform and designer sneakers.
Now you live with him. Now you know better. Underneath his veneer of hotness lies a cold, twisted soul incapable of feeling remorse.
Yet. This morning, you catch yourself staring.
He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, pouring coffee into a chipped mug that says World’s Okayest Roommate. His hair’s still damp from a shower, falling in soft curls over his forehead, and he’s wearing a hoodie that doesn’t belong to him. Yours, actually—the one you thought you lost three weeks ago. It fits him, though it’s oversized on you, the faded design on the front nearly unreadable. His sweatpants are slung low on his hips, and one of the pant legs is tucked into a sock for some godforsaken reason. There’s a smear of toothpaste on his cheek.
And yet you think: cute.
Which is concerning.
You frown into your cereal, spoon halfway to your mouth, and try to rationalise it. Maybe it’s sleep deprivation. Maybe it’s the new shampoo he’s using. Maybe you’ve finally been broken by the sheer absurdity of sharing space with him. That must be it. A slow descent into madness. Like Stockholm Syndrome, but for roommates.
He catches you looking and grins.
“What?” you snap.
“You were staring,” he says smugly, raising his mug to his lips.
“I was zoning out,” you lie. “You just happened to be in the way.”
“Mhm. Don’t worry,” he says, winking. “Happens all the time.”
“You’ve got toothpaste on your face, weirdo.”
He wipes it off with the sleeve of your hoodie. Not his hoodie. Yours. You make a mental note to burn it.
“I’m going to start charging you rent for borrowing my clothes,” you mutter, standing to rinse your bowl.
Gojo hums. “Then I’ll start charging you for moral support. You know, the way I bring light and laughter into this apartment.”
“You bring irritation and trauma.”
He laughs. You pause, hand on the faucet. You shouldn’t feel warm. You shouldn’t feel anything. But there it is again—that awful flutter in your chest; that twist in your stomach like you’ve just misread a question on an exam and realised too late. You stare down at the water running into the sink and think, no. No, no, no. Not this. Not him.
Your hand tightens on the faucet. You don’t look up. If you do, he’ll see it: the flicker of something not quite annoyance, the hiccup in your heartbeat. The very beginnings of affection—or, worse, the remnants of it you thought you’d long since buried.
“You’re being quiet,” your roommate observes, voice languid with interest.
“I’m thinking about how I’ll kill you,” you reply. “Maybe poison. Something slow. Arsenic in your overpriced protein shakes.”
“Ooh. That’s hot. Do I get a last meal?”
“You already ate the last of my oats yesterday.”
“Untrue,” he says cheerfully. “I gave it to my teammate—”
You finally turn to glare at him, but it’s a mistake. He’s still wearing your hoodie, still smiling with toothpaste in the corners of his mouth and hair curling at his temples. His mug is held loosely between his fingers and he taps it against his hip like he’s about to say something clever.
He doesn’t. Instead, he just looks at you. You blink first.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you mutter.
“Like what?”
“Like you’re about to say something stupid and ruin my morning.”
Satoru grins. “I was gonna say you look nice. But I see now that would be stupid.”
Your cheeks burn. You hate that he still gets to you. Hate that, despite all the bickering and unsolicited borrowing of clothes, you still feel something twist inside when he looks at you like that. He finishes his coffee and sets the mug down. “I’m going to be late,” he announces, stretching until the hem of your hoodie rides up and reveals the slope of his back. You look away like you’ve been burned.
“Don’t forget your umbrella,” you say, because it’s drizzling outside.
He grabs the umbrella by the door. “I’ll be back around seven,” he calls, halfway out. “Don’t wait up.”
“I won’t.”
But the door shoots behind him before the lie is even fully out of your mouth. There’s no point denying it. The problem isn’t that he’s hot. It’s that he’s warm, sometimes; thoughtful in ways you don’t expect, and annoyingly perceptive. The problem is that, in the hazy moments between arguments and insults and irritation, you’ve let your guard slip.
God. You’re so screwed.
“Hey. Hey. I thought I told you not to wait up.”
“I didn’t wait up for you.”
He toes off his shoes with a grunt, dropping his keys into the dish by the door and pulling off his jacket in one fluid motion. The collar of his t-shirt is wrinkled, stretched a little too wide at the neck, like someone had tugged at it—maybe he had, or maybe it was already like that. His hair’s a windblown mess, strands sticking up at odd angles, and his eyes are rimmed with red like he’s either been up too long or had one too many drinks. Or both.
But he’s still Satoru, still maddeningly good-looking in that careless way of his, still the same insufferable guy who leaves the toilet seat up and sings Twice songs in the shower.
You’re curled up into the far corner of the couch, blanket wrapped around you, half a bowl of popcorn abandoned on the coffee table. You weren’t waiting up—really, you weren’t—but the TV is playing some old sitcom on mute, the light from the screen flickering across your face in soft, silvery flashes. Your phone is dark in your lap. You’ve read the same sentence in your book five times. You glance up when he speaks, and he stops mid-step, tilting his head at you.
“I didn’t wait up for you,” you repeat, quieter this time, and go back to pretending to read.
He smiles faintly, like he doesn’t believe you but won’t push. “Right,” he says, voice low. “Of course not.”
He throws his jacket over the back of a chair and pads into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. You try not to follow him with your eyes. Try not to notice the way his shoulder blades shift beneath the fabric of his shirt, the way he hums softly under his breath as he opens the fridge and lets the light spill out across the tiles.
“You didn’t answer my text,” you say after a moment, tone sharper than you mean it to be.
“My phone died.”
You nod, once. Stupid. You don’t say anything else.
Satoru walks back into the living room, glass in hand, and sinks into the armchair opposite you with a groan. “Rough night,” he says, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. “Didn’t think it would go that late.”
“Didn’t think you were going out at all.”
That makes him crack an eye open, a ghost of amusement tugging at the corner of his lips. “Jealous?”
You snort. “Of your terrible taste in dive bars and worse taste in company? Never.”
“I didn’t stay long,” he says. “The music sucked.”
“You go for the music?”
“I go for the distraction.”
Outside, it’s started to rain again, a slow, gentle drizzle against the windows. You stare at the pattern of drops sliding down the glass, trying to ignore the shape of him in your periphery—broad shoulders and long legs and bare feet resting against the edge of the coffee table. He’s too close and too far all at once.
“Do you… want some popcorn?” you ask eventually.
Satoru opens his eyes again and blinks at you. “Is this the part where you admit you were waiting for me?”
You scowl. “Forget it.”
“I’m kidding.” He sits up, leans forward slightly, eyes warm now, too warm. “I’d love some.”
You push the bowl towards him, watching as he picks out a piece and pops it into his mouth.
“This,” he says, chewing thoughtfully, “would be the part in a romcom where we kiss.”
“This,” you say, rolling your eyes, “would be the part in a horror movie where the protagonist makes a terrible decision and dies five minutes later.”
“That’s just rude.”
“Good.”
But he smiles at you, bright and boyish, like there’s no place he’d rather be than in this shitty living room at one in the morning with rain tapping against the windows and you scowling over a bowl of popcorn. You hate that it makes your heart ache; hate that, for all your better judgement, for all the times he’s made you want to scream into a pillow, there’s a part of you that softens around him. A part that keeps watching the door when he’s late. A part that stayed up, no matter what you said.
“We should bond,” Satoru says suddenly. “Do you have any plans tomorrow?”
You blink. “Bond?”
“Yeah. Like team-building. Except we’re not a team, and there’s no building.”
“That’s the worst pitch I’ve ever heard,” you say, but the corners of your mouth tug upwards despite yourself.
He shrugs, leaning back into the armchair again and tossing a piece of popcorn into the air, catching it clumsily with his mouth. “I don’t know. I feel like we’ve been circling each other. Might as well make it official.”
“Make what official?”
“This thing,” he says, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. “Our roommate truce-slash-rivalry-slash-situationship.”
You nearly choke on your own breath. “What—what situationship?”
“Okay, fine. Maybe not that last one.”
You throw a pillow at him, and he catches it with one hand, laughing. The room is too warm, or maybe that’s just your face. You glance away, shaking your head.
“Anyway,” he continues, “I was thinking. Since it’s Saturday tomorrow, and we’re both obviously in need of deep, soul-cleansing joy—”
“You mean you want to avoid your hangover.”
“—we should go skating.”
“Like, on the ice?” you ask.
“No, on a frying pan,” he says. “Yes, on the ice.”
“Come on,” Satoru calls. “It’s just frozen water.”
“I know what ice is,” you hiss.
He skates back toward you, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat, cheeks flushed pink from the cold and a beanie pulled snug over his snowy hair. Of course he makes gliding over a frozen lake look like second nature. He probably was born skating. You glare at him from your self-imposed prison at the edge of the ice. Your fingers are locked in a white-knuckled grip on the guardrail, your knees slightly bent like your body already knows it’s about to betray you.
Satoru stops a few feet away, his skates coming to a perfect halt with the faintest spray of ice. “You’re going to have to let go eventually,” he says, amused but not unkind.
You shake your head immediately. “I don’t trust frozen water. Or you.”
“That’s fair.” He shrugs. “But one of those things is going to get you moving, and it’s not the ice.”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” you say, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Doesn’t have to. Come on,” he coaxes, holding out a gloved hand. “I’ll go slow. Promise. Baby steps.”
You glance down at the ice, then at his hand, then back at the ice. It’s unfair, really, the way he looks so annoyingly trustworthy in moments like this. As if he hasn’t spent the better part of your shared time together being the most irritating man on the planet. As if he didn’t just spend the last twenty minutes zipping across the lake like a show-off while you contemplated your mortality from the safety of the shore.
Still, you let go of the guardrail. Just a little. Your hand slips into his, and his fingers tighten reassuringly around yours. He doesn’t tug; he waits, steady and warm and patient, until you peel yourself entirely away from your comfort zone and step onto the ice.
You immediately regret everything. Your foot slides, your balance tips, and you let out a strangled noise as you clutch at him with both hands now, absolutely abandoning any pretense of dignity. Satoru laughs, open and delighted, the sound echoing across the lake like it belongs in a different world.
“I’ve got you,” he says. His grip is solid, his body a firm counterweight to your graceless flailing. “Just stand. Don’t try to walk yet. Feel how your skates sit on the ice.”
“I hate this. I hate you,” you mutter, clinging to his coat.
“You’re doing amazing,” he says, and you scowl because he’s grinning now, and it’s not helpful at all.
Slowly, he eases you forward, step by wobbling step. The cold nips at your cheeks, your breath fogging between you in soft white puffs. Every movement feels like a gamble, your muscles tense with the knowledge that at any second, you could end up flat on your back.
“You skate like Bambi,” he observes cheerfully.
“Say that again and I’m taking you down with me.”
“You’d have to catch me first,” he says. “And given your current progress, I’d say that’s not happening in this lifetime.”
You lurch at him, purely out of spite, and he lets out a surprised yelp as he stumbles back a little, catching you both from falling with more grace than you’ll ever possess. You end up in his arms, your face smushed embarrassingly against his chest, heart pounding from more than just the cold.
“You’re not bad at this,” he murmurs near your ear. “For someone who looks like they’re skating on stilts.”
You pull back to glare at him, but his smile softens into something almost fond, and you blink. He’s still holding you, hands braced at your waist now, fingers curled against the fabric of your coat. His touch is warm through the layers. You don’t say anything. You’re not sure you can.
He leans back, clears his throat a little, and says, “Alright. Lesson one: don’t look down.”
“What?”
“No, seriously. Head up. Trust yourself a little. If you stare at the ice, your body will think you want to meet it.”
You lift your gaze slowly, reluctantly, and focus on the horizon instead: trees dusted in frost, a sky bruised with early twilight, and Satoru’s impossibly pale eyes, sharp and bright and filled with something you can’t name. He starts guiding you again, his hands still at your waist, your balance a little steadier now. Each glide is cautious; it’s progress, however painstaking.
You’re still clumsy—more shuffling than skating—but the panic has dulled, replaced by a nervous sort of awareness: of your feet, of your breathing, of him. The cold cuts through the air with a crispness that sharpens everything, from the bite in your lungs to the sting in your cheeks, but somehow, with Satoru’s hands anchoring you, it all feels a little softer.
“Look at you,” he says, low and a bit smug. “You’re a natural.”
You snort. “I’m one step away from death.”
“Death by ice is very poetic,” he muses. “We’ll put it on your tombstone. Beloved roommate. Skated once.”
You elbow him weakly, the motion throwing off your centre of gravity just enough to send you pitching forward—again. You gasp, arms flailing, but he catches you effortlessly, laughing as he draws you back upright like it’s nothing. Like it’s second nature to steady you.
“That’s lesson two,” he says, grinning down at you. “Don’t do that.”
“You are the worst teacher.”
“And yet,” he says, steering you in a slow arc, “you’re still standing.”
The lake is quiet, save for the dull scrape of blades against the ice, the rustling of wind in the trees, and the shouts and hoots of a group of teenagers skating on the other end. You imagine the rink gets really crowded later in the evening, but for now, it’s just the two of you, wrapped in shades of silver and slate, the world narrowed down to the stretch of frozen water and the steady cadence of his voice in your ear. You take another step. Then another. Satoru doesn’t let go, even though you think you could maybe handle it on your own now. But you don’t ask him to.
“This wasn’t just about the skating,” he says after a while.
You glance up at him. His expression is unreadable now, the teasing stripped back to something quieter. You try for lightness. “Oh? Is this the part where you declare your undying love for me?”
“No. I did that last week. You were too busy yelling at me about the dishes.”
You huff a laugh, but it catches in your throat, because he’s looking at you in that way again—like you’re the only thing in focus. Like the cold and the ice and the time you called him a walking disaster don’t matter.
“I just wanted to do something with you,” he says. “Riko—Riko and I used to do this all the time as kids.”
“...Oh,” you say dumbly.
He doesn’t look away when you say it. His hands haven’t moved from your waist, and you realise, belatedly, that you’re not gripping onto him anymore. You’re standing.
“She used to hold my hand like you’re doing now,” he continues, a half-smile flickering across his face, wistful. “Only, she had these tiny little gloves with cats on them, and she’d nearly pull me down every time she slipped.”
You can see it, easily—Riko as a small blur of determination, dragging her too-tall older brother around a rink, shrieking with laughter while he pretended not to be terrified of falling. You wonder what it was like, growing up with someone like that; with someone who looked at Satoru and saw more than the smirking exterior, who loved him before he learned to weaponise his charm.
“Is this where you guilt-trip me into being nicer to you?” you ask.
“No,” he says. “You being mean to me is the only thing that keeps me grounded.”
You don’t know what to say to that. Not when your chest is doing that awful thing again—that fluttery, traitorous ache that started as irritation and now feels like something worse. “Do you ever stop being—” you begin, but you don’t finish.
Because he lets go. Just like that.
Your breath catches, skates faltering as your arms instinctively reach for him—but you don’t fall. Your legs wobble, sure. Your equilibrium protests. But you’re still upright, and still moving, slowly and awkwardly and without grace. And he’s just standing there, a few feet away now, watching you with a look that’s proud and amused and terribly fond.
“You’re doing it,” he says, and the words hang in the air like steam, like warmth in the cold.
You stare at him. “You tricked me.”
“Obviously.”
“You let go.”
“I did.” Satoru’s smile is maddening. “But look. You’re fine.”
You aren’t sure if you’re grateful or angry or both. The lake is wide around you, open and echoing, and your arms feel empty without his to cling to. But you’re skating. When you reach him again—because of course you make your way back, clumsy half-glides bringing you close enough to grab his coat again if you want to—he doesn’t move away.
“I hate that you’re right,” you mutter, breathing hard.
“I’m always right.”
“You’re never right.”
“You’re right,” he says solemnly. “I’m only ever hot and devastatingly charming.”
You shove him. It doesn’t do much; he’s solid, annoying, smug. But he laughs, and it echoes across the lake again, bright and honest. Then his hands find yours once more. “Next time,” he says, leaning in close, “we’ll try a spin.”
You gawk at him like he’s insane. “I will murder you on the ice.”
“I’d die happy.”
You should pull away. You should say something cutting, something that reestablishes the boundaries he’s always so eager to toe. But you don’t, because he’s warm even through your gloves, and the sky above you is bleeding into a soft lavender dusk, and his breath is a whisper against your cheek when he adds, “You were really brave today.”
“Don’t make it weird,” you mumble.
“Too late.”
You close your eyes, just for a moment. Without warning, you tug his hand and take a step back on the ice, away from him. It’s shaky. Messy. Maybe even stupid. But you don’t fall, and when you glance over your shoulder, he’s already following.
You don’t end up at the ice hockey team’s practice on purpose. It’s all a matter of circumstance: you’d forgotten to bring your keys, and Satoru had practice immediately after classes, so you decided to pay him and Nanami a visit because you’re meticulous and already ahead of all your assigned readings, so you have some free time anyway.
Your boots squeak faintly against the rubber mat lining the entrance as you step inside, the sharp scent of ice and that weird rubbery tang from equipment stinging your nose. It’s colder than you expect it to be—not just chilly, but biting—and you hug your coat tighter around yourself, muttering under your breath about your own stupidity for forgetting your keys.
Through the glass panels that separate the stands from the rink, you catch sight of the team already in warm-ups, skating brisk laps along the boards. Nanami is easy to spot, with his clean-cut form and too-serious expression, weaving between teammates. Satoru, in contrast, is a blur of motion and colour—grinning, flippant, always moving like he’s daring gravity to catch him. You know it’s him even with the helmet on. There’s something unmistakable about the way he skates, fast and loose like he was born with blades for feet and no sense of self-preservation.
You slip into the bleachers, choosing a middle seat and tucking your hands between your thighs for warmth. Your breath fogs in front of you in soft clouds. Below, the players yell instructions at one another, the thud of pucks hitting boards punctuated by the scrape of blades on ice. You expect to be bored within ten minutes, but strangely, you’re not.
You catch yourself watching Satoru more than you should.
He’s wearing a dark jersey with the number six on the back, paired with white hockey pants. He skates like he owns the ice, like the world is some elaborate game designed for his entertainment, and he’s the only one who knows all the rules. He’s obnoxiously good, of course. His passes are sharp and clean, his puck handling seamless, like the stick is an extension of his arm. He doesn’t celebrate the goals he scores, but you can tell he enjoys each one. It’s in the way he glances towards the stands after every shot, like he’s half-expecting applause. Like maybe—just maybe—he knows you’re watching.
And, of course, the one time you lean forward with genuine curiosity, Satoru catches your eye. You immediately sit back and pretend to examine the very interesting metal railing in front of you. When you look up again, he’s skating backwards towards the centre line, grinning like a lunatic. You roll your eyes.
Practice drags on, but in that weird hypnotic way that makes time pass fast. The drills shift from technical to scrimmage-style, players darting about, sticks clashing, shouts echoing through the space. Nanami plays with all the joy of someone forced into it by obligation, but you admire his skill all the same. Satoru, on the other hand, is infuriatingly smooth, darting past defenders and spinning to block shots.
At some point, you begin to lose feeling in your toes. You pull your legs up into your seat and burrow deeper into your coat. Satoru scores another goal with a fancy little flick of his wrist and has the nerve to wink at you through the glass. You flip him off, and he beams like you’ve handed him a bouquet of roses.
When practice ends, the players skate to the benches, pulling off their helmets and guzzling water. You consider leaving before Satoru can come find you, but by the time you make the decision, he’s already peeled off his gear and is jogging toward the stands, a towel slung around his neck and his hair a snowy mess of sweat-damp curls.
“You stalking me now?” he calls up, voice echoing through the cavernous space.
“I forgot my keys,” you reply flatly. “Trust me, if I had other options, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Aw,” he says, leaning on the railing in front of you. “So you missed me.”
You stare down at him, unimpressed. “You smell like a wet dog. I can smell it all the way up here.”
“Still came to see me, though.”
You open your mouth to reply with something scathing, but the words don’t quite come. Not when he’s standing there with flushed cheeks and a grin that’s more sunshine than snow, squinting slightly because of the overhead lights. Not when you remember, fleetingly, that Riko once told you her brother was really quiet, and you remember, again, that he changed after she died. The thought vanishes before you can dwell on it.
“We’re out of milk, by the way,” you say instead.
Nanami skates over. His jersey is soaked through, but his hair remains irritatingly neat under his helmet. He slows to a stop beside the boards, stick tucked under one arm, and gives you a nod in greeting. You nod back.
“She came all the way out here just to tell me we’re out of milk,” Satoru says.
“I didn’t—” You cut yourself off with a sharp exhale and gesture vaguely in his direction. “Why do you talk like that?”
“He talks like that because he has no concept of shame,” Nanami says.
“You wound me, Nanamin.”
Nanami doesn’t dignify that with a response—just raises a single brow and skates off toward the locker room. You watch his retreating figure for a second, then glance back at Satoru, now balancing precariously with one arm out.
“You are so dramatic,” you mutter, standing and starting down the bleachers.
“I prefer being called expressive,” Satoru calls after you, hopping off the railing and jogging to meet you at the base of the stairs. He smells faintly of sweat, rubber, and whatever chemical funk lives permanently in every locker room, but he’s grinning so widely you almost forget to wrinkle your nose. Almost.
“I can see your hair freezing,” you say as you fall into step beside him. “That’s disgusting. Go shower.”
He throws an arm around your shoulders; the gesture makes your skin bristle from the chill still clinging to his clothes. “But you like me gross,” he says, bumping your side with a playful swing of his hip.
You scoff and shove him off, barely managing to keep your balance as your boots skid slightly on the damp rubber flooring. “I like you better when you’re not radiating the scent of boiled socks.”
“So specific,” Satoru laughs. “Were you composing that one in your head the whole time I was on the ice?”
“No,” you mutter. “It came naturally. Like an allergic reaction.”
You follow him through the back hallway toward the locker rooms. It’s quieter here, the sounds of the rink replaced by the low hum of fluorescent lights and the occasional groan of old plumbing in the walls. The linoleum floor is scuffed and water-stained, and everything smells like damp towels and disinfectant. You slow your steps, lingering near the door to the players’ lounge while Satoru pushes through the locker room entrance.
He peeks back before disappearing inside. “You waiting out here, or are you coming in for the full experience?”
“I value my life,” you deadpan.
“Suit yourself,” he singsongs, tossing the towel from his neck over your head before ducking inside with a grin. You yank the towel off with a sound of disgust and drop it on the floor. A few minutes pass. You idle on your phone, scrolling through old messages, then flick over to your calendar. Everything’s already done: papers outlined, deadlines logged, readings colour-coded and annotated. You’re bored.
Ten minutes later, the door creaks open and Satoru emerges, hair damp and pushed back from his face, now in grey sweats and a university hoodie two sizes too big. He looks softer like this, more human, like he could’ve been anyone else, if the world had been a little gentler.
“What?” he says, catching you staring.
You blink. “Nothing.”
He tosses his duffel bag over one shoulder and jerks his chin toward the exit. “Come on. Let’s hit the store. You said we’re out of milk, right?”
“And bread,” you add as you fall into step beside him again. “And you used the last of the eggs and just… put the empty carton back in the fridge.”
“False accusations. I plead innocent.”
“You plead lethargy.”
03. conflict resolution (the eternal affliction).
Christmas comes and goes, and the new year begins with you and Satoru deciding to sell the TV. It had been half-broken for weeks anyway—Satoru insisted it gave the screen a “vintage haze,” but you insisted it gave you migraines. So, on the second day of January, in a rare moment of mutual decisiveness, you both posted a picture of it on Facebook Marketplace with a joke caption, and watched the replies pour in. Some poor soul came to pick it up that evening, and just like that, your living room was quieter than it had been in days.
Maybe you needed the quiet. The holidays had been a blur of noise—family phone calls, missed trains, clinking glasses, and Satoru’s very enthusiastic and very drunk rendition of Last Christmas that made your upstairs neighbour leave an aggressive Post-It on your door.
Now, it’s snowing—thick, slow flakes that coat the windows and silence the city. You’re curled up on the couch with two blankets and a cup of peppermint tea you don’t really like, watching Satoru fiddle with the thermostat.
“It’s broken,” he says for the fifth time, shirt riding up slightly as he bends down to look behind the radiator. “I’m gonna sue the landlord.”
“You say that every week,” you reply, blowing on your tea. “You’ve never sued anyone in your life.”
“I could,” he says indignantly, standing upright. He looks infuriatingly good in sweats and a hoodie, even with socks that don’t match and a piece of tape stuck to his elbow from when he tried to fix the window seal this morning. “You don’t know what I get up to when you’re asleep.”
You raise an eyebrow. “You’re usually asleep before me.”
Satoru points a finger at you. “Exactly. That’s what I want you to think. But maybe I’ve been moonlighting as a lawyer in the dead of night. Ever think about that?”
You take a long sip of your tea to hide your smile. “You can’t even read the rental agreement without getting a headache.”
“You said you’d never bring that up again!”
“You were crying, Satoru.”
“It was printed in a size 10 font, what do you want from me?”
You laugh. Outside, the streetlights blur into glowing halos. Inside, it’s dim and warm, the air thick with the scent of peppermint and laundry detergent, and something you can’t quite place—Satoru, probably, who always smells like something slightly sweet, like sugar cookies and whatever shampoo he uses when he forgets yours isn’t his. You look over the rim of your mug at him. His hair’s messier than usual, falling into his eyes. You’ve told him to get it trimmed. He hasn’t listened.
“It’s still getting colder,” you say quietly, watching the snow. “You think we’ll get snowed in?”
Satoru flops onto the couch beside you, his body warm where it presses against your blanket-wrapped one, his knee knocking lightly into yours. “God, I hope so,” he mutters, tugging the throw off your legs to cover himself. “We could use the time off.”
“You don’t even work a real job,” you remind him.
He frowns, the expression exaggerated and pouty. “Excuse me. I’m a public servant. I’m out there risking life and limb every day, for our stupid old landlord. Or did you forget who shoveled the steps this morning?”
“Badly,” you point out. “You missed half the landing.”
“I was conserving energy,” he says primly, “in case we do get snowed in. You’ll be thanking me when it’s day four of no groceries and you’re chewing on the couch cushions.”
You scoff, curling your feet under you. “We’ve got food. I made sure.”
“I saw.” He grins, tilting his head to rest against the back of the couch, blue eyes sparkling. “I saw you hide the good snacks in the cereal box. You’re so sneaky.” Satoru reaches for the remote out of habit, then remembers the TV is gone. “Oh. What are we supposed to do now? Talk to each other?”
You smile around the rim of your cup. “We could play cards.”
“We could commit tax fraud.”
You nudge his leg with yours. “Satoru.”
“Fine, fine,” he sighs. “But only if I get to cheat.”
“You always cheat.”
“You always let me.”
He says it quietly, but he looks at you like he’s talking about something else entirely. Maybe he is. You set the mug down carefully, your fingers too warm now to keep holding it. You’re suddenly aware of everything: how his thigh brushes yours, how he’s slouched so far down the cushions that his hoodie’s ridden up again, showing a sliver of pale skin and the waistband of his sweats; the scar on his hip he told you he got from an ice hockey accident; the way he shifts when you don’t say anything, like he feels your gaze and likes it.
The peppermint flavour in your mouth goes sticky and sweet.
“I’m bored,” he says again, softer. “You wanna do something stupid?”
“Like what?”
He tilts his head, eyes gleaming. “Like take a really hot shower. Together. For environmental reasons.”
You huff, trying not to laugh, even as your stomach does a slow somersault. “Very eco-conscious of you.”
“Exactly. I’m a hero.”
You roll your eyes, but the thought lingers—his body wet and close, fogging up the glass, your cold skin pressed to his. It lingers longer than it should. You lean your head back against the couch and try to chase it away, but Satoru leans closer, propping his chin on your shoulder, voice lazy and low, as he says, “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”
“No.”
“You’re such a bad liar.”
You shoot him a look, about to say something, but it dies on your lips. He’s close. His eyes are sleepy but sharp, his breath warm where it brushes your cheek. You blink slowly. You think you could kiss him and he’d let you. You think if you said please, he’d let you crawl into his lap and never leave.
“I don’t even like peppermint,” you deflect, mostly to yourself.
“Riko used to say you always drank it in winter.”
“It’s supposed to feel festive.”
“You’re festive,” he says, almost absentmindedly, like the words slipped out without thinking.The snow falls harder. The pipes groan, and the heater hisses weakly. You pull the blanket higher around your neck. “You’re not warm enough,” he observes.
“Thanks for the update.”
“I’m just saying. We could fix that.”
“Is this you trying to seduce me?”
“Is it working?”
You stare at him. He’s gorgeous like this—half-lazy, half-serious, the kind of effortless pretty that shouldn’t be allowed in sweats and two-day-old hair. You think about the way his voice goes low when he’s teasing you, like it is now. The way he always runs a hand down your back, firm and gentle, when he knows your day’s been long. It’s unbearable, sometimes, the want. The wanting him like this.
“I could be convinced,” you say quietly.
“Oh, yeah?”
He doesn’t move right away; he watches you—searching, maybe, or waiting for you to change your mind. You don’t. He shifts to face you more fully, and leans in slowly, like he’s giving you time to pull away. His fingers brush your jaw, warm and careful, and then he kisses you.
It starts soft, the kind of kiss that feels like a question. You answer with a small sound at the back of your throat, leaning in, tilting your head, letting your mouth part just slightly under his. Satoru deepens it with a low noise that vibrates between you, his hand slipping to the back of your neck to anchor your close. His lips are warm, his mouth sweet—peppermint and the leftover hint of something honeyed from dinner. He kisses like he does everything else—wholeheartedly, a little cocky, and all-consuming. Your fingers curl into the front of his hoodie, needing something to hold onto as he presses in.
His other hand slides beneath the blanket, settling against your waist. You’re still bundled up in layers, but you feel the heat of his palm through the cotton. Your whole body reacts to it: shivering, softening, leaning closer. You sigh into his mouth, and he swallows the sound.
When he finally pulls back, it’s just barely, his nose brushing yours. His eyes are heavy-lidded, pupils blown, a flush high on his cheeks that has nothing to do with the cold. “You sure?” he asks roughly. “Because I’ll stop. I’ll stop right now if—”
You kiss him again, quick and firm. “I’m sure.”
Satoru lets out a breath, then nudges the blanket off both of you. The cold air hits your skin for half a second before he’s pulling you onto his lap, coaxing you into straddling him. You go willingly, knees pressing into the couch cushions on either side of his hips. It’s clumsy at first—your feet slide, your knee bumps the coffee table—but he steadies you with both hands on your hips, and it stops being funny.
Your faces are inches apart. You can see every speck of silver in his eyes, the pink curve of his bottom lip, the threadbare collar of his hoodie that dips just low enough to show the line of his throat. Your fingers slip under the hem of it, and he shudders.
“This okay?” you ask quietly.
He nods, but adds, “Don’t ask like that. Like I’d ever say no to you.”
You kiss him again. His hands move—up your back, under your shirt, leaving trails of heat where they go. You’re both flush with warmth now, the kind of warmth that fills your chest and settles low in your belly. The radiator’s broken, and your tea’s gone cold, but it doesn’t matter, not with his body beneath yours, not with his mouth at your neck now, pressing soft, reverent kisses to the place where your pulse beats.
“Satoru,” you whisper, and he groans softly against your skin like it’s the best thing he’s heard all week. You tighten your fingers in his hoodie, tugging just slightly, and he lifts his head to look at you. You run your hands down his chest, over the soft cotton. “This has got to go.”
He grins, crooked and flushed. “You just want an excuse to touch me.”
You tug the hoodie up, and he raises his arms without a word, letting you pull it over his head. His hair is mussed even further, sticking up in a dozen directions, and you can’t help smoothing it down with your hands. His skin is warm beneath your palms, the planes of his chest scattered with faint scars.
“You’re staring,” he says, softer now.
“You’re pretty,” you reply, just as quiet.
His smile falters—not in a bad way, but in that way it does when you say something that actually gets to him. He swallows, reaches up, and brushes your hair back behind your ear. “You’re not supposed to say things like that when I’m trying to be cool.”
“You’re never cool,” you whisper, leaning in again. “I’m on birth control. Just so you know.”
His laugh is rough, but it dies in his throat the second you crush your mouth to his again—all heat, no patience now, just the wet slide of his tongue against yours. His hands are already pushing under your shirt, fingers tracing every rib, until his thumbs drag slow circles under your breasts. You arch into his touch.
“Off,” he says, yanking your shirt up. You lift your arms, letting him strip it away, leaving you in just your bra—some flimsy lace thing he’s already eyeing like he wants to tear it off. The cold air hits your skin, but you barely feel it, not with the way his gaze burns over you. His hands are on you again instantly, palming your tits through the lace, squeezing just hard enough to make you whimper. His thumbs flick over your nipples, already stiff, and you gasp when he leans down to lick a hot stripe over the fabric.
“So beautiful,” he says, teeth catching the edge of the cup. He tugs it down, freeing one breast, and seals his mouth over it with wet, filthy pulls of his lips while his tongue flicks the peak. You moan, thighs clenching, already grinding down against his lap where his cock strains against his sweatpants.
“Satoru—” Your fingers twist in his hair, holding him to your chest as he switches sides, biting lightly at the other nipple through the lace before dragging the cup down to give it the same treatment. His free hand slides between your thighs, cupping you through your pants, and you shudder when he presses the heel of his palm hard against your clit.
“Fuck, you’re soaked,” he groans against your skin, fingers rubbing slow, torturous circles. “Can feel it through your pants.”
You’re panting now, hips rolling against his hand, chasing the friction. He undoes the string of your pants with one hand, shoving them down your thighs along with your underwear. His breath hitches when he sees how wet you are, glistening and swollen.
“Look at that,” he rasps, dragging two fingers through your folds, spreading your slick. He slides one finger inside you, just to the first knuckle, teasing. “Already so fucking tight—how’re you gonna take me?”
You whine, hips jerking, trying to him deeper, but he just chuckles, adding a second finger, curling them just right to make you gasp. He pumps them slowly, his thumb circling your clit in time, until you’re trembling, your thighs shaking around his wrist.
“Not yet, sweetheart,” he murmurs, pulling his fingers free with a filthy sound. You nearly sob at the loss, but he unbuckles his jeans, shoving them just enough to free his cock—thick, flushed, already leaking.
“Ride me,” he orders, voice rough.
You don’t hesitate. You reach between you, guiding him to your entrance, and lower yourself into him inch by inch. The stretch burns, the way he fills you so perfect, it steals your breath. Both of you groan as you take him to the hilt, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise.
You start to move, rolling your hips in slow, deep circles, and his head falls back against the couch with a groan. His hands roam your body—squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples, then sliding down to grip your ass, urging you faster. You comply, bouncing on his cock now, the slap of skin echoing in the room. Every thrust drags him against that perfect spot inside you, and you can feel the coil of pleasure tightening, your clit throbbing with each movement.
“Gonna come,” you gasp, nails digging into his shoulders. “Satoru, I’m—”
“Let go,” he urges, thumb finding your clit again, rubbing tight circles. “Come on my cock.”
The orgasm crashes through you—your back arches, your walls clamp down on him, and you cry out, shuddering as pleasure rips through every nerve. He fucks you through it, his hips jerking up to meet your frantic movements, until he groans and spills inside you with a low moan.
You collapse against his chest, both of you panting, sweat-slick and spent. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as your heartbeat steadies. He tilts your chin up, after a moment, kissing you slow and lazy.
“So,” he mumbles against your lips. “About that shower.”
“Yes, please.”
He peels you off the couch with a groan, your legs shaky, your skin still fever-hot where his come drips down your inner thighs. The bathroom tiles are cool under your bare feet as he guides you in, his palm never leaving the small of your back, like he can’t stand not touching you for even a second.
Steam fogs the mirror before the water even hits your skin. Satoru adjusts the spray with a rough twist of his wrist, testing it with his fingers before pulling you under the warm heat. The water sluices over your shoulders, your breasts, his hands following its path like he’s trying to watch every inch of you with his touch instead.
“You missed a spot,” you tease, breath hitching when his thumbs drag over your nipples, already stiff again from the contrast of heat and his calloused fingers.
“Fucking smartass,” he says, but there’s no real bite to it—not when his cock is already thickening against your hip, the tip flushed and leaking. He crowds you against the tile, his mouth searing a path down your throat, sucking bruises into the tender skin below your ear. Water beads on his lashes when he looks up at you, fingers hooking under your knee to hike your leg over his hip.
“Turn around,” he orders, voice frayed with want.
You obey, bracing your palms against the slick wall as he presses flush against your back. His cock nudges between your thighs, not quite inside it—just rutting against your slick folds, teasing. The head catches on your entrance, the stretch just shy of unbearable, and you whimper, pushing back.
Satoru chuckles, one hand fisting in your hair to tilt your head aside. His other hand slides between your legs, fingers spreading your slick over your clit. “Still dripping,” he says, circling that swollen bud just hard enough to make your knees buckle. “Like you’re fucking made for me.”
You gasp when he finally pushes inside—slow, deliberate, stretching you with every inch until his hips meet your ass. The water cascades over both of you as he starts to move, deep, rolling thrusts that have you arching, your nails scraping against tile.
“Look at you,” he groans, tightening his grip on your hip. His other hand leaves your hair to grab your breast, pinching your nipple as he fucks into you harder. “Taking me so fucking good.”
It’s too much—the drag of his cock against your walls, the slap of skin, the way his teeth sink into your shoulder. You’re babbling, half-formed pleas and his name, your thighs trembling with every thrust.
“Gonna make you come again,” he grits out, fingers finding your clit again, rubbing circles. You come with a cry, your walls fluttering around him as your climax crashes over you. Satoru fucks you through it, his hips stuttering as his own release hits—a harsh groan against your neck as he spills inside you.
He holds you up when your legs give out, turning you in his arms to kiss you slow and filthy under the spray. His tongue licks into your mouth, while his hand drifts down to your ass.
“Clean now?” you mumble against his lips, dazed.
He laughs, thumb brushing your lower lip. “Dirty as hell.” His other hand slides between your thighs, gathering the mix of water and come dripping down your skin. “Gonna have to do this again.”
You shiver as he brings his fingers to your mouth, watching your lips part to suck them clean.
Spring is sprung, but nothing changes between you and Satoru. It’s as if the two days you spent snowed in right after New Year’s are just that—two days that exist outside of your usual periphery, kept locked away in the recesses of your mind like a dream you can’t decide whether to revisit or forget. The world has thawed and so, seemingly, has he. No more late nights curled together on his couch. No more cereal-for-dinner declarations or tangled limbs under too-warm blankets. That strange liminal space you existed in, suspended in the hush of snowfall and the hum of radiator heat, disappears as soon as the city begins to bloom again.
Instead, things shift back into old rhythms.
You start finding mismatched socks in the laundry again. His cereal bowls accumulate in the sink in quiet protest of dishwashing. You bicker over the thermostat settings like you always used too—Satoru insists that 24°C is the perfect temperature while you’re constantly reaching for the dial to turn it down. He steals your phone charger without asking. You use his shampoo out of petty revenge. He hogs the bathroom mirror every morning, combing through his hair with a devotion that borders on tragic. And you… you go back to pretending that none of it ever meant anything more.
You try not to notice how careful he is now, how his gaze lingers a little too long but his fingers don’t. How he keeps his distance—playfully, almost purposefully. As if closeness is a privilege that’s been revoked. As if intimacy was a mistake that neither of you are willing to acknowledge.
And because it’s easier this way, you don’t ask.
Instead, you both fall into the easy charade of Just Roommates, the same performance you perfected before that blizzard rewrote the script. It’s familiar, comfortable—until it isn’t.
Because one night, he doesn’t come home.
You notice it sometime around 11:30 P.M. His shoes aren’t by the door, his keys aren’t clattering into the dish like they usually do. The apartment is quiet in a way it hasn’t been for months. You try not to worry. He’s an adult. He disappears sometimes. That’s just Satoru being Satoru. But something in your chest prickles with unease, and your thumb hovers over your screen for a good five minutes before you finally open your messages.
You: hey, you coming home tonight?
No reply. The text sits there, read but unanswered. You sit on the couch for another half hour, idly scrolling, not really seeing anything. Your eyes keep darting to the door like he might waltz in with some dumb excuse and a bag of chips. When the clock hits 1:04 A.M., you give up pretending and text Nanami.
You: do you know where satoru is?
Nanami: hold on.
Nanami: yeah. unfortunately.
Two seconds later, an image pops up.
It’s a picture taken at a frat party—one of those messy, overcrowded events where the music’s too loud and the floor’s sticky with God-knows-what. There’s a blur of colour and movement, people crowding the frame, but it’s not hard to spot him: Satoru, in the centre of it all, unmistakable even with the grainy quality of the photo. He’s half-sitting on the back of a couch, red solo cup in hand, sunglasses perched uselessly on the bridge of his nose despite it being well past midnight. His head is tilted toward a girl beside him—brunette, bright lipstick, her arm draped over his shoulder.
You stare at the image for longer than you mean to.
The girl’s laughing. Satoru’s smiling. And not that small, soft sort of smile he gives you when he thinks you’re not looking, but wide and lazy, the kind he usually wears when he’s trying to charm his way out of something.
Your stomach curls, cold and unpleasant. You shut your phone off. The apartment is still too quiet. You brush your teeth with shaking fingers, climb into a bed that feels a little too big, and press your eyes shut like that might block out the sudden ache in your chest.
It shouldn’t matter. You’re just roommates.
You think about the girl he’d brought home that day, three days into your moving in. You’d felt bad for her, knowing that she was just a notch in his over-filled stick. Is that what you are, too? Just another person he slept with? His little sister’s best friend, who’s never been the same after she died, just another name on his list?
Maybe it’s your own fault. You knew what he was like.
The morning after, you don’t reach for your phone. You don’t check to see if he came home sometimes after you fell asleep. You don’t look for his shoes by the door. You just go about your day like you’ve got somewhere to be.
It’s easier this way. To keep moving. To stay busy. To pull your focus away from the image etched into the backs of your eyelids: the shape of him in someone else’s orbit, grinning like he didn’t have your heartbeat tucked between his palms only a few weeks ago.
When you finally do check your phone, there’s no apology. Just a half-hearted “my bad lol” text that arrives sometime around 10 A.M., flippant and thoughtless, as if it never even occurred to him that you might’ve waited up.
You don’t answer. He doesn’t push. The silence becomes your new rhythm.
Where once there was casual ease between you, there is now only space. Deliberate, careful space. You start closing the door to your room whenever he’s home. You keep your headphones in, even when you’re not listening to anything. You stop making dinner for two. You stop leaving him notes on the fridge. He seems to notice, but doesn’t say anything. Maybe he’s relieved. Maybe he’s too oblivious to put the pieces together. Or maybe this is just easier for him, too.
You start planning your exit. You don’t tell him. You don’t know how to. You start searching on your laptop late at night, under the covers like it’s something shameful. Studio apartments, room shares, sublets posted by strangers who spell everything in lowercase. Nothing looks promising, but you scroll anyway, determined to find something, anything, that doesn’t have him in it.
You start making lists in your notes app. Things you’ll need: a kettle, your own set of plates, a bathroom rug. Things you’ll miss: the way he sings when he’s in the shower, the sound of his laugh echoing down the hallway, the smell of his shampoo. And then there are the things you don’t let yourself write down. Like the way his arms felt around you that night on the couch. Or the look in his eyes when he thought you were asleep. Or the fact that, for a brief few moments this winter, you really, truly believed he could be something more.
You don’t talk about any of it. Not to him, not to Nanami, not to your friend who sits next to you during class. You just swallow it down like a bitter pill and keep moving.
Some nights, he comes home late and you pretend to be asleep. Some mornings, he lingers in the kitchen a little too long, like he’s waiting for you to say something, anything, but you never do. You sip your coffee in silence, watch the steam curl up, and keep your eyes fixed on the window. It’s not that you don’t want to talk to him. It’s that you don’t trust what you’d say.
Because the truth is this: you’ve overstayed your welcome, not just in this apartment, but in the idea of him. You let yourself want, and now you’re paying for it.
And Satoru—he’s still Satoru. Beautiful and reckless and untouchable in the ways that matter most. He flits around you like he doesn’t notice you pulling away. Or maybe he does, and he’s letting you go. So you send in applications. You tour a too-small studio with cracked linoleum and convince yourself the peeling walls are “charming.” You lie on your bed at night and stare at the ceiling and imagine what it’ll feel like to live in a place where his laugh doesn’t echo through the walls.
Spring has sprung. The world is warm and blooming again. But you—you’ve never felt colder.
When you tell Nanami you’re moving, he doesn’t chide you for it. Just shrugs, and asks if you want any help with packing. You nod, grateful, and ask if you can accompany him for their ice hockey practice that evening. You need to give Satoru your keys back, and you would prefer to do it with your friend next to you.
The rink is always colder than you expect. Even in the early blush of spring, when your jacket is too light and the wind a little gentler, the ice rink clings to winter. Nanami doesn’t say much on the walk over. He’s not the type to pry unless invited, and you’ve been… quiet, to say the least. A silence cushioned in resignation more than sadness. As if the version of yourself who cried into her pillow over Satoru in January has finally dulled into someone softer, steadier.
You sit in the bleachers with your arms tucked close to your chest as Nanami skates onto the ice. The boys are already roughhousing, and Satoru—he’s grinning. Always grinning.
You spot him the moment he hops the rail. His hair is a mess under his helmet, and his jersey hangs a little lopsided over his pads, but there’s that same carefree energy, as though nothing in the world has ever really touched him. Not even you.
You fold your fingers around the keys in your coat pocket and press them tight into your palm. Practice is what you’ve come to expect. Fast. Loud. A blur of bodies in motion, blades on ice, the occasional thud as someone crashes into the boards. You watch the way Satoru moves—like he owns the rink, like gravity is just a suggestion. You realise, belatedly, that you are looking. Maybe too hard.
When the whistle blows and the scrimmage ends, the team filters off the ice in staggered waves, peeling off helmets, slapping shoulders, shouting about drinks and dinner plans. Nanami nods at you from the bench, motioning that he’ll meet you outside. You’re halfway down the bleachers when you hear his name.
“Hey!” Satoru’s voice cuts through the buzz of conversation. You turn. He’s jogging over with that same impish grin, helmet under one arm, hair sweat-damp and eyes far too blue. “You came.”
You blink. “Yeah.”
“You missed me, huh?” he teases, bumping your shoulder with his. “Don’t look at me like that. I know you love watching me play.”
There it is—that familiar tilt of his head. A part of you wants to smile back, the way you always do. Fall into the rhythm again. Pretend.
But not this time.
You pull your hand from your coat pocket and extend it toward him, fingers curled around the small, silver ring of keys. “Here,” you say simply.
Satoru stills. He looks at your hand like he doesn’t quite understand what he’s seeing, like the keys might bite him if he takes them. “What…?” his voice falters. “What’s this?”
“Your spare,” you reply. “I’m moving out.”
He doesn’t take the keys right away. He stares at you, the confusion sharpening into something quieter, something more serious. “You’re serious.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”
You don’t say I wouldn’t have watched you skate around like nothing ever happened if I wasn’t. You don’t say I wouldn’t have dragged myself back into this space, this icebox version of our past, if I didn’t want to close the door for good.
He finally reaches out and takes them, curling his fingers slowly around the metal like it might dissolve. You notice the way his smile has faded. The rink is suddenly very quiet.
“I see,” he says. It’s the most subdued you’ve heard him in weeks.
You take a step back. “Good game, by the way.”
You walk away.
04. the end (happily ever after).
“You can’t leave until the end of the month,” Satoru says by way of greeting, toeing off his shoes at the entrance. “You signed the lease with me. You have to stay until April.”
You pause halfway through stacking one of the moving boxes, fingers curled around a stack of your dog-eared books. “Are you seriously quoting the lease at me right now?”
Satoru shrugs out of his jacket. “I’m just saying. It’s legally binding.”
You set the books down a little too hard. “What, so now you care about the rules?”
“I’ve always cared,” he says.
“No, Satoru. You care when it’s convenient. You care when it means getting the last word. You don’t get to act like this now, after weeks of pretending I don’t exist.”
“I wasn’t pretending—”
“You stopped coming home,” you snap, the words catching in your throat like thorns. “You stopped showing up. You stopped talking to me.”
“I needed space,” he says, and you laugh—cold and bitter and hollow.
“From what? From me? From whatever happened that weekend?”
He says nothing. Just shifts his weight and stares at the floor like the grain of the wood might suddenly rearrange itself into answers.
You swallow. “Right. Of course. That weekend didn’t mean anything. Just like everything else.”
“Don’t do that,” Satoru says quietly. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“I’m just trying to figure out what we are,” you retort defensively. “Were. Because you clearly figured it out a long time ago and didn’t bother telling me.”
“It’s not like that.”
“No?” Your voice shakes. “Then what about the girl from the party, Satoru? What was that?”
His head jerks up. “What girl?”
You cross your arms. “Nanami showed me a photo. Some frat party. You and some girl. You looked—happy.”
Something flickers across his face—confusion first, then something like hurt. “You mean Misaki?”
“I don’t know her name. I just know you were smiling. With your arm around her. And I know I don’t sleep with people I don’t care about. So maybe it didn’t mean anything to you, but it did to me. And you were just going to go back to your life like nothing happened, I wish you’d said so before I gave a damn.”
“Misaki,” he says again, stunned. “She’s dating Hajime.”
You blink.
“She’s my teammate’s girlfriend. He wanted a photo of all of us for her birthday because she’s moving to Osaka. That’s it. We all posed for a stupid picture, and then I left. I didn’t even want to go.”
You want to believe him. You really do. But your chest still aches with weeks of uncertainty, with that night you nearly cried yourself to sleep on the mattress you were already half-packing away. “Then why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I thought I already fucked everything up,” he admits. “You stopped talking to me. You looked right through me. I thought I crossed a line, and you regretted it.”
You shake your head, disbelieving. “You—you thought I regretted it? Satoru, I—” You cut yourself off. Swallow it down.
He steps forward, hands out like he wants to reach for you but doesn’t know if he’s allowed anymore. “I didn’t want to risk making it worse. But then you stopped coming to practice. You stopped leaving your door open. You were just… gone.”
“The only thing we ever had in common,” you say, “was Riko.”
His face falls.
“She’s dead, Satoru. And maybe… maybe we were just trying to hold on to each other because she was the one who tied us together.
“No.” His voice is firm. “No, that’s not true.”
You look away. “Isn’t it?”
“Maybe at first,” he says. “But not anymore. Not for a long time.”
“Then why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I’m an idiot. Because I thought I had more time. I miss you. Every day. I miss going grocery shopping with you. I miss your hair in the drain and your mugs on the counter and the way you used to fall asleep on the couch back when we still had the TV. I miss you,” he repeats, quieter this time, “so no. You can’t leave. Not until I get to ask you out properly.”
For your first date, Satoru sneaks you into the campus ice rink at one in the morning.
“Nicked the keys from the coach,” he says. “Don’t tell Nanamin.”
The air inside the rink is biting and crisp, even colder than you remember from the times you’d come to watch practice. Satoru flips the lights on, flooding the empty arena with a soft, almost romantic glow—clean white against the polished glass, shadows stretching long along the bleachers. You stand near the edge of the rink, hugging your coat tighter around your body.
“I can’t believe you stole from your coach for this,” you say, though you’re smiling.
Satoru shakes the keys at you. “Borrowed. It’s borrowing if I return them.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“I’m endearing,” he corrects, walking backwards towards the ice, arms spread wide. “And this is your first official date. Has to be memorable.”
You roll your eyes, but your heart is soft and melty, like it always is around him now.
He’s already laced into his skates, having arrived with them slung over one shoulder. You, on the other hand, have to sit at the benches while he kneels in front of you to help you with yours. His fingers are quick and practiced, tugging the laces snug before double-knotting them with a flourish. It should be embarrassing—being fawned over like this—but there’s something reverent in the way he moves, like this is a ritual of his own making, and it tugs at something in your chest.
“You do this for all your first dates?” you ask, trying to sound casual, but failing. You’re too aware of the way his breath fans over your thighs, or the way his touch lingers just a little too long against your ankles.
He glances up at you, bright eyes amused. “You’re my first. Be gentle with me.”
The ice is smooth, freshly resurfaced. Satoru leads you to the centre, gliding effortlessly, show-offy as ever. He does a little spin, throws both arms in the air like he’s just scored, then turns and offers you a hand.
“You know I can’t skate like that.”
“Lucky for you,” he says, stepping closer and tucking his fingers through yours, “I happen to be very good at holding people up.”
You’re wobbly at first, your legs unsure, and he skates backward slowly, pulling you along. His hands are steady on your waist, his smile wide and proud. And once you find your rhythm—still shaky, but upright—you circle the rink together, the only sounds the soft hiss of blades on ice and your laughter echoing against the rafters.
It’s surreal. You’ve seen him like this before: in his element, cocky and sure of himself on the ice. But it’s different now, because now, every glance he throws your way feels like it means something. Halfway through, he slows to a stop and pulls you in close. “You know,” he says, softer now, “I used to dream about this.”
You blink up at him. “About breaking and entering university property?”
“No,” he says. “About you. Being with you. I used to imagine all the ways I could maybe get you to see me the way I saw you. And it always started with something like this.”
You flush. “Satoru…”
“Do you remember,” he says, nudging his forehead against yours, “after the snowstorm? When I told you I wouldn’t regret it?”
You nod.
“I meant it,” he says. “I still mean it.”
The kiss comes naturally, like exhaling. You’re both half-frozen, and he tastes like mind and cold air, but it’s perfect anyway—slow and warm and just a little clumsy, because you’re still in skates and your balance is terrible, and he laughs into your mouth when you nearly topple over.
“I’ve got you,” he says, arms anchoring you close.
When you eventually sit on the benches again, sipping hot chocolate from a thermos he’d smuggled in his bag, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and leans in to whisper, “Next time, I’ll bring you here in the daytime like a normal person.”
You hum, smiling against the rim of the cup. “But I think I like this version better.”
Satoru’s fingers find yours and squeeze. “Me, too,” he says.
The final buzzer sounds.
The crowd erupts around you—horns blaring, feet stomping, voices swelling into an anthem of unbridled celebration. On the ice, bodies collide in a heap of jerseys and helmets, gloves flung into the air like confetti. The scoreboard flashes a victorious 5 – 4, and you swear your heart’s beating just as fast as the game-winning slapshot Satoru landed in the final two minutes.
You stay seated in the bleachers, slightly breathless, fingers clenched around the hem of your coat. The whole rink pulses with energy. You could cut the adrenaline with a knife. Students are screaming their heads off. Someone nearby throws a foam fingers into the rink. Your ears are ringing and your eyes are locked on the number 6 jersey, skating lazy circles while his teammates swarm Nanami in a dogpile near the goal.
Satoru Gojo.
You watch him turn, searching the stands. The grin on his face is dazzling, sweat-slicked hair sticking out of his helmet in damp tufts. He lifts his stick over his head like a banner, pointing it directly at you when he finds you in the crowd.
Your heart stutters. You’re not even embarrassed about how wide your smile stretches.
He doesn’t even wait for the rest of the ceremony.
Not ten minutes later, he’s climbed the barriers and jogged up the bleacher steps, ignoring the photographers, the shouts of “Gojo! Pictures!” and Nanami’s loud, “Get back here, Gojo!” He finds you in the fifth row, standing now, half-shocked and half-laughing, and barrels straight into you.
“Hey—” you start, but then he’s kissing you.
It’s not the first time—God knows it won’t be the last—but something about it makes the rest of the world dissolve. Your hands find the sides of his face, fingers catching on the straps of his helmet, as he presses you back gently against the guardrail. He tastes like mint and ice and sweat, and his smile never fully disappears against your mouth.
“I knew you’d come,” he murmurs between kisses, his voice rough with exertion. “Could feel it.”
You swat him lightly on the chest, breathless. “Of course I came. It’s the finals.”
“You didn’t come to the semi-finals,” he teases, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Thought I’d been demoted.”
“You were in the sin bin for half the game,” you retort. “Not exactly sweetheart behaviour.”
He grins against your cheek, pulling back just enough to look at you. The crowd’s still losing their minds around you, but neither of you seem to notice. His helmet’s off now, clutched in one hand, and his forehead leans against yours.
“You came tonight,” he repeats. “That’s all I needed.”
It hits you, then, just how many people are watching. Phones are out. A chant’s already building in the lower rows—Gojo! Gojo! Gojo!—but he doesn’t care. He kisses you again like you’re the only person in the arena.
Maybe you are.
“God,” he says, breathless as he pulls away, “you’ve got no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that after a win.”
You smile, fingers curled loosely in his jersey.
“Well,” you whisper, tugging him closer, “guess you’ve earned it.”