That thing where they sing what they're doing

I live jordan i breathe jordan jordan is our salvation

[coffeenrocknroll]

Daniel Sloss- “Jigsaw”

[aosbuskids]

Jemma: So like Uh.. would you like to go out with me?

Fitz: Let me Think about it. I need time to consider it

*Two hours later*

Fitz: I’ve thought about it and yes I Will marry you

[aosbuskids]

Fitz: Population growth is just a formal mathematical way of saying “how fast can people fuck?”

Jemma: Actually you’re missing an important part. Really it’s a formal mathematical way of saying “how fast can people fuck and also die?”

Fitz: In that case, I guess it’s more like “how much faster are people fucking than they are dying?”

Jemma: Exactly. Fuck to death ratio.

Fitz: Right!

Daisy: *not looking up from her phone* Rate of smash and pass.

[yayoroses]

iconic!

[thefoxconfessor]

[megcanic]

this is the plot to mama mia

[lovemelikeyoumeanit]

“This administration has forfeited their right to re-election due to their failure on controlling Covid.” Kamala’s right.

[orarewedancy]

So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.

So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day

[orarewedancy]

A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”

I live for this commentary fam.

[chrispineofficial]

#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

[orarewedancy]

I feel the need to add a story to this? My co-worker brought his longboard to work, and one of the suit guys reminisced on how he used to ride pretty often. So Co-Worker and I were like, “Dude, go give it a spin, who cares, this mall is huge.” He was nervous about it because there are mall cops on segways everywhere (with helmets, like bruh, full on Paul Blart) and he was worried he was gonna get caught, and eventually we made a bet that he could ride down to Macy’s and back (it’s like a straight shot). So dead ass, this man hung up his jacket, took a running start, and zipped down the hallway with his tie in the breeze.

He evaded the mall cops and claimed that was, “One of the biggest rushes he’s ever felt.”

[me-choy-me-noy]

LOVING THIS CONTENT

[quotemadness]

“Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.”

— Kait Rokowski

[stydixa]

The Half Of It (2020) Dir. Alice Wu

[haleyincarnate]

“Depression is the cousin that shows up at the doorstep of my chest unannounced. I welcome them inside. Brew a fresh pot of coffee. Wrap my favorite blanket around their shoulders. Ask quietly, ‘what brought you here?’ They say, 'what do you mean? I live here.’”

— i live here // Haley Hendrick

[queerlysad]

Somewhere along the way, when we danced to some stupid song at 2 am, you looked at me with those pretty brown eyes and fuck how scared I was to lose you, I wonder if she thinks the same when you dance with her

You meant something, you mean something, do i mean anything?

[omghotmemes]

Not all heroes wear capes

[mxnrique]

snatched yo “i’m not like other girls” ass real quick!!!

[impuretale]

This movie had no business being as good as it was. Go watch it. 

[quasi-normalcy]

Noted

[gwendolynshepherds]

#… technically this scene passes the bechdel tesr#which is WILD unless youve watched the movie (via @swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual)

[neonperri]

If Jack Black doesn’t get an Oscar nom for this, it is proof that sf/action movies are being discriminated against, because he was FLAWLESS as a teenage girl, absolutely invisible behind his character, and that deserves massive recognition of his awesomeness. 

(I also appreciate the writing which had both girls calling each other out on perceived issues, and both girls acknowledging the fairness of those call-outs and subsequently valuing each other as equals and becoming buds. No girl-fights here, thank you.)

[trashmouse]

This movie was far more amazing than it should have been, and I’m pretty sure that was at least 90% because the cast was so fantastic.

[xzombiexkittenx]

Not once in the entire film did I forget Jack Black was a teenage girl. It was one of the most brilliant performances I have ever seen and I still can’t believe I’m saying that about Jack Black in Jumanji II.

[pom-seedss]

Is it tropey as hell? Yes.

Do they subvert some of the tropes some of the time? Heck yes.

Did they know they were going to be tropey as hell and made it the best possible versions of the tropes when they weren’t subverting them? Hell fucking yes.

[quotemadness]

“I’m not sure anybody ever gets completely over their first love, and that still rankles. Part of me still wants to know what was wrong with me. What I was lacking.”

— Stephen King (via quotemadness)

[heartshapedbasil]

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

[dadbodbobby]

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

[lestautism]

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

[quotemadness]

“I have a habit of falling in love with souls who have yet to be at peace with their bodies, their minds, their weaknesses. I try to build them, to find the parts of them that are missing in me. I end up with holes in my chest.”

— Farah Gabdon (via quotemadness)

[quotemadness]

“I have always loved too much, or not enough.”

— Dorianne Laux (via quotemadness)

[quotemadness]

“We’re all so desperate to be understood, we forget to be understanding.”

— Beau Taplin (via quotemadness)