Link: https://selfknowledgedaily.com/men-don-t-exist-society-s-indifference-towards-male-suffering-3f580ef6b21d#.ex2mi788t
Men Don’t Exist: Society’s Indifference Towards Male Suffering
“A woman cries and everybody rushes to give her what she wants, and a man cries and everyone scorns and looks away embarrassed.
We no more think of warming our hearts towards the warm hearts of boys than we do of imagining changing the position of the sun by twisting the dials on our clocks. To suggest it is insane. To imagine it’s occurring is deranged. We are that far from the emancipation from the isolation of the human male child.
We raise men COLD, FROZEN, BRUTALIZED, through the cold Medusa eyes of indifference and then, you see, we complain that the hierarchy, the Patriarchy of Men is not very nice!” — Stefan Molyneux from the YouTube video How A Man’s Heart Is Murdered
Besides the incredibly large collections of data that have been organized and presented in YouTube videos such as “The Truth About Male Privilege,” “The Truth About Domestic Violence,” “The Truth About Rape Culture,” “The Truth About Violence,” or the plethora of social experiments that truly show the extent to which society simply doesn’t care about men, which I’d recommend watching if the idea that men having any significant issues in the west sounds completely absurd to you, I can scarcely think of a better way to validate the thesis that society (especially women) does not care about men and boys than to try this simple experiment:
Simply talk about the very real issues that males face today. And, if you can, try talking about them to a woman. Make sure they are adamant about not just taking your word for it; show them the facts. Show them the facts about spanking, which reveal that mothers spank more than fathers and that boys are more likely to get spanked than girls. Talk about how between 60% and 80% of rapists, sex offenders, and sexually aggressive men were sexually abused by a woman in their childhood. Mention to them the devastating short and long term effects of circumcision as well as how three-quarters of American adult men are circumcised. Or, share the underlying data which show that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners, yet despite this fact, there are no shelters for men.
Talk to them about these issues and see how they respond. From my own experience, the sad truth is that even the most heartfelt attempts I’ve made to evoke sympathy and understanding towards the suffering of men and boys through some of my most carefully crafted sentences fall completely on deaf ears. The sheer number of futile attempts I’ve made to evoke even the smallest iota of understanding and compassion towards the suffering towards men and boys is enough to drive one to despair.
Take this brief exchange I had in the comment section of an anti-circumcision (anti baby boy genital mutilation) Facebook picture that was being shared. The names I’ll make up.
Men have a right to be extremely angry about what is being done to them. This is child abuse of the worst kind.
We are mutilated as babies, hit by our parents as children , yelled at and humiliated by our teachers as adolescents and teenagers, only to then be told that we the oppressive ones, that we are the spousal abusers, the rapists of society and if we are single and live alone, possibly due to the low self-esteem that occurs as a result of this incessant scorn, then at the very least, we objectify others through our video games.
It’s no wonder the suicide rate for men is so high.
Then a woman I’ll call Sherry joined the discussion with:
See, but hasn’t the ‘stigma’ of living alone changed a bit.
I view any male in my age bracket who doesn’t live at home, more of a responsible adult. Just sayin.
And we can tie in what you are saying to the need to be accepted. Ie: Bruce/ Caitlin Jenner.
Why have I always felt so out of place?
“why don’t you act like a pretty girl?”
“why do you like the Dukes of Hazzard? You’re a girl. You should be playing with dolls”
Fuck you. I like cars and dirt and camping and fishing. I like to play in the mud. And I like to get my hands dirty… Even when I have my fucking nails did…
Accepting who we are is important.
See and I’ve never met a guy who was unhappy about being circumcised. And I have met a few who weren’t but to ‘fit in’ they wanted one….
Reactions like Sherry’s are incredibly frustrating for men like me because men are often shamed considerably for lacking sensitivity and have been told repeatedly about the superiority of female empathy. Yet, when it comes time to demonstrate this superior empathy, when you begin to talk about men’s issues, you get these kind of indifferent, annoying, and irrelevant knee-jerk responses that have become all too typical. Almost inevitably will somebody (often a woman) come into a discussion about how an issue specifically effects men and boys and immediately move the conversation away from men by saying something like, “Well, it’s a human being issue! This ties into something larger, like the over all human need to be accepted, which is experienced by men and women alike!”
Could you imagine if I said, “I’ve never met a women who was unhappy in the kitchen all day! But, if they are suffering from near catatonic depression, we can tie that into the need of wanting to be fulfilled. Gosh, I hated being expected to like sports as a guy!”
And when they do finally bring the conversation back towards men, it’s when something negative about women such as female aggression towards children is brought up, in which case you will hear the “Yes, but men too!” response as if to again remind us of how terrible men can be.
“Yes, I women are violent, but men are violent too. And they rape more.”
Of course men are violent too! It’s not too interesting to say men can be aggressive, jerks, rapists, murderers, and child abusers. Nor is it terribly interesting to say that women can be victims of aggressive male jerks, rapists, murderers and child abusers. It’s uninteresting because it is blatantly true. It’s so true that stating it sounds more like an observation than a criticism.
Besides, the statement that “women play a role in the cycle of violence” does not mean “men do not play a role in the cycle of violence,” any more than the statement “cats bite about 750,000 people a year” implies that “dogs don’t bite people at all as well.”
But when women’s capacity for aggression and female responsibility is talked about, it’s so often the case that people respond as if that’s exactly what you just said. Now, there are probably many reasons for this, some which might involve propaganda or even biology, so I’m not saying I think that these reactions are the result of “women’s inherent badness” or “women’s inherent stupidity.” After all, men do it too! … No really. I’m not being facetious. After one post I made about the abuse I suffered from my mother, a guy responded:
“What is causing you to feel so angry? I understand the frustration your are feeling in your life and about your mom, but you said you are going to sit in anger now. Is this a recent realization?”
This is largely the purpose for talking about how certain issues specifically effect men and boys at all; because these are things that people are still largely indifferent towards, ignore, or even inappropriately turn into subjects of humor, whereas this is not the case with women’s issues. And not only does that mean men’s suffering is overlooked, but so is female evil, and to ignore or excuse female evil is highly sexist towards women as it puts them in the position of an infant by taking moral responsibility from them, which in turn only enables the cycle of violence to continue.
So, when people respond as they did in the previous examples that I had given, it only further confirms and validates the thesis that compassion towards men and boys is so rare as to be practically nonexistent, which is why it’s so important to speak up for them.
The truth is that the violence in men we see today is a symptom of and is directly proportional to the lack of love from women in the world. It is the lack of love from women that is killing the world, not just male violence. When I see a male dictator, or rapist, a pedophile, a thief, a gang member, a murderer, I see a cold, emotionally incestuous, distancing, and/or violent mother.
This isn’t my mommy issues or my hatred of women speaking. It is just an empirical fact that women play role in the cycle of violence. In addition to male violence, beyond reasonable doubt, beyond serious doubt, beyond sane, informed, intelligent doubt, beyond doubt it is a fact that the lack of love from women is also killing this planet.
We’ve spent decades attempting to heal the world through pointing out male violence. It hasn’t worked. It doesn’t work. It will never work, not unless we talk about that which is under-acknowledged, ignored and overlooked — female evil.
As a friend of mine once said,
“The degree to which we can have empathy for girls and not for boys, is the same degree in which we lack empathy.” — Patrick Chapman
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