Memories of October
ę§ Dadâs best friend Frank Castle x over 18 female reader âĄď¸ ę§
ę§warnings: slight angst + smut minors dni !ę§
The bass from the house party rattles the windows. Youâre wedged between people in the crowded kitchen, a red Solo cup loose in your hand, while some guyâs arm rests casually around your waist.
You laugh at something he says, barely paying attention to anything beyond the music and the noise, when the front door suddenly swings open hard enough to slam against the wall.
Conversations stutter. Heads turn.
Frank Castle fills the doorway like a storm cloud dragging its belly across the ground. His jaw is set.
His eyesâdark, sharp, scanningâsweep the room in a single efficient pass and land on you.
The music keeps playing. Nobody moves.
You do. Your spine straightens before your brain catches up, some traitorous reflex that recognizes him before you can pretend you donât.
He crosses the room. People part for him without seeming to decide to. Something about the way he movesâheavy boots, broad shoulders, the coiled stillness in his handsâmakes space where there wasnât any.
âOutside. Now.â
Not loud. Worse. Quiet. The kind of quiet that carries further than shouting ever could.
Your cheeks burn. Someone behind you snickers.
You can feel the weight of every gaze in the room pressing against your skin, and underneath that, a sharper, hotter pressure: the knowledge that Frank Castle just walked into a college party like he was breaching a room and youâre the target.
You open your mouth to argue.
His hand closes around your upper arm. Not hard. Not bruising. But thereâs no give in it. âI said now. â
He pulls you toward the door, and you stumble after him because the alternative is making a scene, and heâs already done enough of that for both of you.
The cold air hits your face like a slap.
The door bangs shut behind you, muffling the music into a dull throb. The porch light buzzes, jaundiced and flickering, painting Frankâs face in unflattering slices of shadow.
You wrench your arm free. âWhat the hell is wrong with you?â
âGet in the car.â
âYou donât get toâyou canât just show up and drag me out of there like Iâm some kind ofââ
âYour old man called me.â His voice is gravel over steel. âSaid you snuck out. Said he didnât know where you were. Said he was scared.â A pause. His nostrils flare. âYou wanna be mad at someone, be mad at me. But youâre getting in that car.â
âIâm an adult for fuck sake!â
âAnd I told your dad Iâd bring you home safe.â He steps closer, and you have to tilt your chin up to hold his gaze. âSo thatâs whatâs happening.â
The wind picks up, threading cold fingers through your hair. Youâre shiveringâfrom the temperature, you tell yourself. Only from the temperature.
âI wasnât doing anything wrong,â you say, and your voice comes out smaller than you meant it to.
Something flickers behind his eyes. âDidnât say you were.â
âThen whyââ
âWill you just get in the damn car?â
You glare at him. He stares back, unmoving, the line of his mouth carved from stone. The silence stretches, taut and humming, until finally you break it with a sharp exhale and stalk toward the passenger door.
The interior smells like leather and gun oil and him. You slam the door harder than necessary and cross your arms over your chest.
He slides into the driverâs seat. The engine turns over with a low growl, and the car pulls away from the curb.
The first five minutes pass in silence so thick you could choke on it. Streetlights stripe across the dashboard in slow, rhythmic pulses. Frankâs hands are wrapped around the steering wheel, knuckles flexing with each minor adjustment.
The veins on the backs of his hands stand out in relief, blue-gray ropes beneath the ink across his forearms.
You know those tattoos.
You know the shape of them. The way they shift when his muscles move. The places where the lines blur slightly at the edges, worn soft by time.
You traced them once, the pad of your index finger following the dark curves while his breath slowed and his eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling.
October. A night so cold the windows fogged despite the heater running. His truck, parked in the shadow of a dead-end street where no one would think to look.
The memory makes your stomach fold in on itself.
You swallow. Your throat has gone dry.
That. The things youâve done with him. The things your fatherâFrankâs friend, the man who trusts himâcan never know. The thing that sits between you now like a third passenger, breathing quietly in the dark.
You press your palm against your stomach. âCan you just pull over? I feel like Iâm gonna be sick.â
The shift in him is instantaneous. The hardness cracks, worry flooding through. âWhatâs wrong? You okay?â
âJustâpull over. Please.â
The car swerves to the shoulder, gravel crunching under the tires. He throws it into park and turns toward you, one hand reaching across the console but stopping just short of your knee. Hovering. Waiting for permission.
âHey,â he says, and his voice has dropped into something else entirely. The gruffness is still there, but itâs been sanded down, softened at the edges. âTalk to me. You feeling sick? You drink something at that party?â
His hand settles on your knee. Warm. Heavy. Careful.
You look at it. At the scar across his knuckles. At the way his thumb is drawing a slow arc against the skin on your thigh, an absent, tender motion he probably doesnât know heâs making.
For a secondâone suspended, crystalline secondâyou almost stay.
Then you shove the door open and bolt.
The cold swallows you whole. Your heels slap against the asphalt, gravel biting through the thin soles. Behind you, you hear the driverâs door open, hear his boots hit the ground.
âHey! Hey! â
You donât stop. Your breath comes in white plumes, ragged and furious and pointless because you donât even know where youâre going, just that you canât sit in that car another second with his hand on your thigh and October burning in your chest.
âStop. Stop.â His voice is closer now. Heâs faster than you. Heâs always been faster than you.
His hand catches your elbowâthe same one, the same placeâand spins you around. Not roughly. But youâre not getting away.
âWhat the hell was that?â
âLet go of me!â
âNot until you tell me whatâs going on.â
âNothingâs going on! Nothing except you showing up and treating me like Iâm twelve years old in front of everyone I know!â
His grip loosens. âI wasnâtââ
âYes, you were. You stormed in there like you owned the place. Like you owned me!â Your voice cracks on the last word, and you hate it, hate the way it exposes something youâve been trying to bury for months.
Frank stares at you. The anger is still there, simmering under the surface, but itâs losing its shape, bleeding into something else. His chest rises and falls, visible in the dip of his collar.
âI was scared,â he says.
The words hang in the cold air between you.
âYour dad called,â he continues, quieter now, rough as sandpaper. âHe couldnât find you. Didnât know where you went. And Iââ He stops. Looks away.
His jaw works, a muscle ticking in his cheek. âI thought something happened. I thought maybe you were hurt, or worse, and I just⌠I saw you standing there with that asshole, laughing, and I lost it. Okay? Thatâs on me. I shouldnât have done it like that.â
You donât say anything.
âIâm sorry I embarrassed you.â He finally looks back at you, and his eyes are softer now, the dark edges smoothed away. âThat wasnât fair. I know youâre not a kid.â
The wind cuts between you. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barks.
âLetâs just goâ you whisper. âItâs freezing.â
He nods. Releases your elbow. Waits until you turn back toward the car to follow.
This time, when you slide into the passenger seat, you donât slam the door.
He gets in. Closes his door. The dome light fades, plunging you both into the blue-black quiet of the carâs interior, lit only by the faint glow of the dashboard.
He doesnât start the engine.
The silence stretches. One second. Five. Ten. The kind of silence that has a texture, a weight, pressing against your eardrums until you can hear your own heartbeat.
You turn your head.
Heâs already looking at you.
His face is half in shadow, half caught in the cold moonlight bleeding through the windshield. The lines around his mouth are deeper than they were a year ago.
His eyes are the same, though. Dark. Intent. Fixed on you with an intensity that makes your breath catch somewhere in the cage of your ribs.
Neither of you speaks.
His hand is resting on the gear shift. Yours is on your thigh, inches away. If you movedâif you reachedâyour fingers would brush his knuckles. The thought makes your pulse jump in your throat, a frantic, skipping rhythm.
You remember the way his mouth felt.
You remember the sound he made when you kissed the hollow of his throat.
You remember the weight of him, the heat of him, the way he said your name like a prayer and a curse tangled up together.
He remembers too. You can see it in the way heâs looking at you now. The way his lips part, just slightly, like thereâs a word balanced on the edge of them that he canât quite let fall.
The dashboard clock ticks over one minute. Then two.
Still, neither of you moves.
âIs this about October?â
The words land in the quiet like a stone dropped into still water. Ripples spread outward, invisible but felt.
You go rigid in your seat.
Every muscle locks down. Your thighs press together before you can stop them, an involuntary clench that you feel in the hinge of your jaw, in the base of your spine.
Frank doesnât miss it. He never misses anything.
âSo it is,â he says.
His voice is low. Rough. Not accusatory. Something worseâcertain.
âWhat?â The word comes out strangled, half-formed. Youâre gripping your own knees now, fingers digging into the skin. âI didnât say anything.â
âYou just pressed your thighs together.â
Your eyes widen. The darkness inside the car feels smaller suddenly, the windows fogged at the edges, the cold pressing against the glass like a voyeur with its face turned away.
He noticed. Of course he noticed, because Frank Castle notices the way a bullet notices bone.
You open your mouth. Nothing comes out.
âYou think I donât see you?â He turns in his seat, the leather groaning under his weight. The shift brings him closer, and the air between you thins.
âYou think I donât notice the way youâve been looking at me since you got in this car? The way you keep swallowing like your throatâs gone dry?â
Your throat is dry. Itâs been dry since he grabbed your arm in that kitchen. Since before that, maybe since October.
âFrankââ
âYouâre the one who ran,â he says, and thereâs no anger in it now. Just a raw, scraped-out honesty thatâs worse than anger by a mile. âYou ran out of that party. You ran out of this car. You keep running, and I keep chasing, and Iâm getting real tired of pretending I donât know why.â
The dashboard light catches the edge of his jaw, the dark stubble, the harder darkness of his eyes. Heâs not moving. Heâs waiting.
Your pulse is a drumline in your ears.
âWe canât,â you whisper. âMy dadââ
âIs not here.â
âYouâre his friend.â
âIâm a lot of things.â His hand lifts from the gear shift. Hovers in the space between your bodies, not quite touching. âRight now Iâm the guy whoâs been thinking about you every goddamn night for four months.â
The confession hits you like a physical blow. Your stomach drops. Your chest tightens. Somewhere in the back of your mind, a small, sensible voice is screaming at you to stop, heâs too old for you and heâs your dad best friend.
You donât move.
âThat night in my truck. The way you kissed me first. You remember that? You remember what you said?â
You remember.
You remember the cold biting at your cheeks. The way his truck smelled like coffee and cordite. The silence that stretched between you before you leaned across the console and pressed your mouth to his, terrified and shaking and more certain than youâd ever been about anything.
You remember what you said after. Donât tell anyone. Please.
âI remember you said please,â Frank murmurs, and his voice has dropped into that register that makes your bones hum. The same voice.
âLike I was doing you a favor. Like I hadnât been waiting for it. Like I wasnât already gone on you.â
âStop.â
âYou want me to stop?â
No. God, no.
Your silence is answer enough.
Frank exhales, a long, slow breath that fogs in the cold air between you. âFuck it,â he says.
His hand closes around your wrist.
Not your elbow this time. Not a restraint. An invitation. He pulls, and you come, and somehow youâre across the console and into his lap, your knees bracketing his hips, your dress riding up your thighs in the cramped space of the driverâs seat.
The steering wheel presses against your lower back. You donât care.
His hands find your waist, big and hot even through the thin fabric of your dress. For a suspended moment, neither of you moves.
Youâre staring at each other, breathing the same air, your faces inches apart. The moonlight through the windshield cuts a silver stripe across his cheekbone, and his eyes are so dark they swallow the light whole.
âThere,â he says, so quiet itâs barely a sound. âNo more running.â
You kiss him first. Again.
Your mouth crashes against his, and he makes a soundâlow, guttural, torn from somewhere deep in his chestâand his hands tighten on your hips.
Kissing Frank is not like kissing anyone else. Itâs not gentle. Itâs not tentative. Itâs a claim, a reckoning, a door kicked open and left swinging on its hinges.
His tongue slides against yours. His teeth catch your lower lip. One hand leaves your hip and slides up your spine, fingers spanning the back of your neck, tilting your head to deepen the angle.
You gasp into his mouth. He swallows the sound.
âBeen thinking about this,â he mutters against your lips.
âEvery time I see you. Every time your dad mentions your name. Every time I close my eyes.â
Your hips shift. The friction draws a sharp breath from both of you.
âFrank.â His name on your tongue tastes like a confession.
His hand leaves your neck. Trails down your shoulder. Your arm. The curve of your breast through the thin dress.
He doesnât stop thereâhis palm slides lower, over your stomach, across the jut of your hipbone, and then his fingers are at the hem of your dress, gathering the fabric, pushing it higher.
The cold air hits the bare skin of your thighs. You shiver.
âYou cold?â His thumb strokes the sensitive skin just above your knee. âOr is that something else?â
âYou know what it is.â
A ghost of a smile crosses his mouth. Itâs gone as fast as it came, replaced by something hungrier. His hand moves higher.
His fingers brush the damp cotton of your underwear.
He laughs.
Not mocking. Wondering. Disbelieving. The sound vibrates through his chest and into yours, and your face burns with a heat that has nothing to do with embarrassment.
âJesus,â he breathes. âYouâre soaked. Already. Just from thinking about it?â
âShut up.â
He laughs, fingers press against the fabric, tracing the shape of you through the wet cotton, and your hips buck involuntarily.
He pushes the fabric aside.
His touch is rough. Calloused. The pads of his fingers drag against your bare flesh with an electricity that makes your vision swim.
Every nerve ending you possess narrows to that single point of contact, to the slow circle heâs tracing, to the way his breath hitches when you whimper.
âLook at me,â he says.
You force your eyes open. When did you close them?
His face is inches away, jaw tight, pupils blown wide. The hand not between your legs is gripping your hip hard enough to bruise, and you want it to. You want the evidence.
You want to walk into your bathroom tomorrow morning and see the purple crescents of his fingertips and know it was real.
âTell me this is okay,â he says, and his voice strains around the edges. âTell me you want this. I need to hear it.â
âI want this.â The words tumble out before you can think about them. âIâve wanted this. Iâve wanted you. I never stopped.â
His forehead drops to yours. For one shuddering breath, he just stays there, eyes closed, chest heaving. Then his fingers slide inside you, and you forget how to breathe entirely.
One digit. Two. The stretch is perfect, agonizing, exactly what you remembered.
He curls them, finds the spot that makes your thighs clench around his hips, and does it again, and again, while his thumb draws relentless circles against your clit.
âFrankâFrank, Iâm going toââ
âNo.â His hand stills. Withdraws. Leaves you empty and aching and gasping. âNot like that. Not this time.â
You make a soundâfrustrated, needy, utterly undignified. He huffs a laugh.
âPatient,â he murmurs. âYou can be patient for me, canât you?â
His hands go to his belt.
The clink of the buckle is deafening in the quiet car. You watch, transfixed, as he works the leather free, pops the button on his jeans, drags the zipper down.
The sound of itâmetal teeth parting, rough denim shiftingâmakes your stomach flip.
You reach down to help him.
Your hands are shaking. You canât make them stop. Your fingers fumble on his waistband, and his hands close over yours, steadying you.
âEasy,â he says. âWeâve got time.â
Do you? The thought flickers and dies. You donât care. Let the whole world wait.
You tug his jeans down over his hips. His boxers follow. The cold air hits him too, but he doesnât flinch. Heâs watching your face with an intensity that makes you feel peeled open, exposed, seen.
Heâs hard. Thick. The sight of him makes your mouth water and your pulse pound in equal measure.
âCome here,â he says.
One hand on your hip guides you forward. The other positions himself at your entrance. You can feel the heat of him, the blunt pressure, the promise of whatâs about to happen.
âSlow,â he says. âGo slow. Let me feel it.â
You sink down.
The stretch makes your eyes roll back. Inch by inch, you take him, your body opening around him, accommodating him, remembering him. Heâs bigger than you remembered.
Or maybe memory dulls the sharp edges. Maybe the body forgets on purpose, so that every time feels like the first time, overwhelming and consuming and too much.
âFuck,â he grinds out. His head falls back against the headrest. The tendons in his neck stand out, corded and straining.
âThatâsâyeah. Just like that.â
You brace your hands on his shoulders. The fabric of his shirt is rough under your palms. Beneath it, his muscles are rigid, coiled tight, every line of him vibrating with the effort of holding still while you settle around him.
When youâve taken all of himâwhen thereâs nowhere left to sink, when heâs buried to the hilt and youâre both breathing like youâve just run a mileâyou pause. Let the fullness wash over you. Let the reality of it sink in.
Frank Castle is inside you. Again. After four months of pretending it never happened, four months of awkward silences in your fatherâs kitchen, four months of lying awake at night with your hand between your thighs thinking about the way he said your name that winter night.
âMove,â he says, and itâs barely a word, more a rumble from somewhere deep in his chest. âPlease. I need you to move.â
You lift your hips. Drop them.
The sound he makes is guttural, broken, the hottest thing youâve ever heard.
You do it again, finding a rhythm, a slow grind that drags him against every sensitive place inside you.
The steering wheel digs into your back. Your knees ache from the cramped angle. You donât care. Youâll take the bruises. Youâll take whatever this night leaves you with.
His hands find your hips. Guide you. Urge you faster.
âGod,â he breathes, eyes fixed on where your bodies join. âLook at you. Look at us. You feel that? Feel how deep I am?â
You feel it. You feel it in your throat.
âI thought about this,â he continues, and his voice is wrecked, rough as gravel, spilling out of him like he canât stop it. âEvery night. Every goddamn night. The way you looked in my truck. The way you sounded. The way you said my name like it was the only word you knew.â
âFrank.â
âLike that. Exactly like that.â
He thrusts up into you, meeting your downward stroke, and the impact punches a cry out of your lungs.
Your nails dig into his shoulders. He does it again, harder this time, and the car rocks slightly on its suspension.
Anyone could drive by. Anyone could see the fogged windows, the car pulled over on the shoulder, the way itâs moving.
The thought should terrify you. Instead, it sends a sharp spike of heat through your belly that makes you clench around him.
He feels it. His eyes flash.
âYou like that,â he says. âThe risk. You always did.â
âShut up and fuck me, Frank.â
His mouth curves. Itâs not quite a smile. Itâs something darker, something feral, something that makes your stomach drop.
âYes, maâam,â he says.
His grip on your hips tightens. He plants his feet on the floorboard and starts to move.
Not gentle. Not slow. He fucks up into you with a rhythm thatâs punishing and precise, driving himself deep, pulling nearly all the way out before surging back in.
The wet sound of it fills the car, obscene and perfect, underscored by the creak of the seat springs and the ragged music of your mingled breathing.
Your head drops forward. Your forehead finds the crook of his neck. His scent is everywhereâleather, sweat, something metallic and sharpâand you breathe it in like itâs oxygen.
âThatâs it,â he grunts, his lips against your hair. âTake it. Take all of it. Youâre so tight. So goddamn perfect.â
Youâre close. The pressure is building at the base of your spine, coiling tighter with every thrust. Your breath comes in short, sharp gasps that fog against the skin of his throat.
âIâve got you,â he says, and his voice softens at the edges even as his pace doesnât. âLet go. Iâve got you.â
His thumb finds your clit again. Presses. Circles.
The world whites out.
You come with a sob, burying your face against his neck, your teeth sinking into the collar of his jacket to muffle the sound.
The orgasm tears through youânot gentle, not gradual, but a sudden, violent crest that leaves you shaking, clenching, gasping his name into the dark skin of his throat.
He fucks you through it. Doesnât slow. Doesnât stop. Draws every last pulse out of you until youâre limp and boneless in his lap, and even then he keeps going, chasing his own release.
âWhere?â The word is strangled, barely intelligible. âTell me where.â
âInside,â you hear yourself say. âInside. Please.â
His rhythm stutters. Breaks. His fingers dig into your hips with bruising force, and he buries himself deep one last time, a groan tearing out of him that sounds like itâs been locked in his chest for years.
You feel the pulse of him. The heat. The way his body goes rigid under you and then slack, his forehead falling to your shoulder, his breath coming in ragged, uneven gusts against your collarbone.
For a long moment, neither of you moves.
The car settles into silence. The engine is still off. The windows are fogged opaque, sealing you both inside a private world of heat and breath and the smell of sex.
The dashboard clock blinksâ2:47 a.m., the numbers bright and accusatory in the dark.
Frankâs hand comes up to cup the back of your head. His palm is warm. Steady. The calluses catch in your hair.
âThat,â he says, voice muffled against your shoulder, âwas not supposed to happen.â
âWhich time?â
He huffs. Not quite a laugh. âAny of them.â
You lift your head. Meet his eyes. The anger is gone. The frustration. Whatâs left is something rawer, more uncertainâmaybe vulnerability.
âIâm not sorry,â you say.
He studies your face. Whatever heâs looking for, he seems to find it. âNeither am I.â
His thumb traces the line of your jaw. Gentle.
Tender. So at odds with the way he was gripping your hips thirty seconds ago.
âBut weâve gotta figure out what this is,â he says.
âWe canât justâyour dadââ
âI know.â
The words hang between you. The weight of them. The impossibility.
âNot tonight,â you whisper. âWe donât have to figure it out tonight.â
He looks at you for a long moment. Then he nodsâa slow, deliberate motionâand presses a kiss to your forehead thatâs so gentle it makes your chest ache.
âOkay,â he says. âNot tonight.â
You shift, and he slides out of you with a wet, sensitive gasp from both parties. The evidence of what youâve done is already a cooling slickness on your inner thighs. Youâll have to deal with that. Youâll have to deal with a lot of things.
Frank reaches into the back seat, produces a crumpled napkin from the glove box, and offers it to you without meeting your eyes.
The absurd domesticity of it makes you laughâa real laugh, startled and breathlessâand after a second, he laughs too.
You shift back into your seat and he sets off again for your home the rest of the drive was painfully quiet.
You sat beside Frank, trying to look completely innocent despite the fact that your clothes were hastily fixed and your face was still warm. Frank kept his eyes firmly on the road, jaw tight, saying absolutely nothing.
The second you got home, your dad was waiting at the door.
âDo you have any idea what time it is?â
You winced. âDadââ
âNo. I donât want excuses. You snuck out and didnât tell me where you were.â
Frank stepped in calmly. âI found her at a party. She wasnât causing trouble. Donât go too hard on her.â
Your dad sighed, rubbing his forehead. âFrank, thank you. Seriously.â
You glanced at Frank.
He gave you the briefest look before turning away, completely composed.
Your dad had absolutely no idea what had happened in that car.
And Frank clearly intended to keep it that way.
Ë ÂłË âĽ









