Do the right thing - Now and Always
As easy as it is to give someone a smile or a notion of gratitude, it is just as easy to SAY something positive and/or do something nice for another.
Be it money, or a candy bar, the thought and action go very far. Daily affirmations to yourself and/or others is a great way to build relationships and be a better person.
There is evidence that indicates when people remember good things that others have done and imagine how things would have turned out worse otherwise, they are prompted to form a general aspiration to do good things themselves.
Not everyone has a hidden agenda or do things for accolades or attention. Some just do it because they truly like seeing others happy.
I do not begrudge anyone that is incapable of helping others in a financial sort of way. It isn't always about money. If all you can do is say an encouraging statement to another, then do it. It never hurts to try your best to lift someone up.
Say I love you more than you feel you need to. Tell them they are worth it more than you feel you need to. Let them know you are there for them and support them in their decisions and adventures.
Don't be a dick! Do not knock your child down. Do not throw your friend on the ground and stomp on them. Stop holding your spouse back for fear of them leaving. Just wake up and be grateful for that day and everyone in your life.
Small actions lead to big results.
My parents never told me I was good. They never told me I would be something amazing one day. Not once, not ever. Nothing was ever good enough. Nothing was ever done correctly and even if they were wrong, they were right. One sided people through and through.
Although my father provided for his "family" handsomely,
I do not remember my father ever telling me he loved me. Not once in all my years to his passing.
My mother burdened me with her problems from a young age by keeping me up with her at night, smoking cigarettes and crying into her coffee cup. I can still see the kitchen at the house on Palm Lane. The big table where we all sat together for dinners every night, the ugly wallpaper that was a big deal in the 80's - A stale, Smoke-stained yellow color with what I thought were flowers and vines with some hints of green.
At 6 years old, you really don't understand why, but you just want to be there with her because she was your mother, and you didn't want to see her hurt.
As the years went on, I took it upon myself to try and solve everyone's problems. Knowing full well that you can't help everyone and more importantly you can't help someone who doesn't truly want to be helped. I took charge in almost every situation. When a chaotic event would occur, I would always know exactly what to do and held it all together for everyone else. Not once had anyone asked me "how are you today Nicole".
Me being me, I always tend to take everything further and harder than is necessary. Over the top if you will. Go big or go home as I always say.
My overwhelming experience in Texas almost soured me on helping anyone out ever again. As I saw it, it would be me and my 3 children against the world, and in the words of Cersi Lannister, "everyone that isn't us is our enemy."
I don't keep a lot of "friends" I can count on one hand the number of friends I have. And in all honesty, I know of ONE of them that would come running if I needed them, no questions asked other than when and where. ONE. I don't need a big circle, never did.
What I longed for was a family. A big family. An ARMY of a family, like you see in the movies.
What I had was 5 siblings and two parents that all had their own agenda. With me being 8 years younger than the one before me, I was basically alone. Later in life I realized the dread that lived in that house and why all the siblings were basically just fighting to get out. I imagined that the trauma and devastation in the home would bind siblings together. That wasn't the case here with having a "hers, mine and ours" band of misfits.
I didn't see the same things as my siblings witnessed in my parents. I saw all the broken pieces that were shattered beyond repair. I got a very different version of my mother and father.
There were many days that my mother didn't get out of bed until right before my father was going to get home from work. I would get up and get myself to school and most days she picked me up, some days she didn't. Sometimes I just stayed home, and I don't know if she even knew I was there until she got up and saw me late in the afternoon.
I have always felt alone in the world until I had Justin. With Justin came a person of who I could take anywhere with me and never be alone again. Then Mason and Jessica and I had everything I needed in my life.
When their dad took them from at the ages of 9,5 and 4, it killed me. Had it not been done in a malicious way; I could have gotten past it.
Knowing full well that I was not in a place where I could be the mother they needed, I let him keep them. I made sure I was there to pick them up for the weekends and take them over breaks and holidays.
