left behind (j.m)
A/N: This imagine is based off of the song âAll My Friends,â by AJ Mitchell. It doesnât entirely relate to the song, and didnât turn out exactly how I thought it would, but I hope that you enjoy it nonetheless. This is my first âOuter Banks,â related imagine, Iâm sure it doesnât do the show justice, but I thought Iâd try because I canât stop thinking about the show.
The sections in bold are song lyrics and flashbacks are in italics; just to clear any potential confusion.
Requests are open, as always, feel free to request anything Outer Banks relatedâŚor any of the other that fandoms I write for!Â
ââââââ
âIâm done, I canât do this anymore,â JJ broke down rushing around his room to aimlessly throw his belongings into his bag.
âJJ, please calm down,â I beg, reaching out to touch him until John Bâs arms wrapped around my waist, halting my movements. I look up at him in frustration, trying to force myself out of his arms.Â
âStop, he needs to do this,â he commands softly, holding me against his chest. Kie, Pope, and Sarah watch the scene in silence, the tension in the room growing thicker as we watch JJ pack his bags.Â
âJJ-â
âDonât Kie, nothing you say is going to keep me from leaving,â he barks, glaring at her. His whole body trembling with anger due to argument that he had with his dad moments earlier. âIâm done.âÂ
My heart drops at the sight of him; knowing full well that even I wonât be able to convince him to stay.Â
An hour later we stand on the dock watching hundreds of people board the ferry. Everyone stands in silence anticipating having to say goodbye, but seemingly afraid of the moment that weâd be forced to do so.Â
JJâs hand slides into mine tightly gripping onto my fingers. I close my eyes, trying to stay calm and support his decision of leaving the island, even though I want to beg him to stay.Â
âItâs time,â Pope sighs, breaking the silence as we all share sad glances.
âAre you sure you want to do this?â I whisper to JJ, pulling him into my arms. âIâll talk to my parents, you know that theyâll let you stay with us. Please, just donât leave me here.â
âI canât move in with you,â he states, his words slightly muffled by my hair. âI have to go, and I need you to support this decision.â
âThen let me come with you,â I insist, frowning when he pulls himself from my grasp so that he can look at me. âWe promised that weâd never leave each other-â
âWe were four years old,â he sighs, shaking his head. âI love you but this is something I need to do on my own, okay?â I simply nod in response; not trusting my voice. He pulls me back into his arms one last time, whispering a âthank youâ before he moved to say his goodbyes to everyone else. I stand to the side, looking anywhere but at my friends as each of them had their moment with him.Â
Kie and Sarah joined me, giving me sympathetic looks before pulling me into side hugs so that we could stand together. I lay my head on Sarahâs shoulder, watching John B pull JJ into his arms one last time.
âTake care of yourself, JJ,â he stated as they pulled away from each other.
âYou know I will,â he winked, clearly trying to lighten the mood and take our attention away from the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He takes a moment to salute at us, his eyes meeting mine one last time before he spun around to board the ferry without looking back.
ââââââ
âWhy canât I just hide in my room,â I huff exasperatedly flopping on my bed backwards tired of hearing my mom ramble about needing to get back to a normal routine.
âListen to me, itâs been nearly a month. I know how deeply you care for him, but this has got to stop,â she states walking out of my closet empty handed. âYouâve never liked this house, and now it seems that all you want to do is spend your time here. As much as I love having you around, Iâm worried.â
âMom,â I groan, shifting to face her. âYou donât have to worry. Iâm perfectly fine.âÂ
âIâm your mother. As much as you think you can lie to me, you canât. So donât start,â she warns, raising her eyebrows as she sat on the bed next to me. I sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat, as the front I attempted to put on slowly vanished. âLove is strong, especially when youâre young. Sadly, when you sign up for love you also sign up for potential heartbreak. The fact that youâre hurting so deeply just shows that it was real.â I listen intently, tears springing into my eyes at her words.Â
âBut I didnât sign up for it, mom. Heâs my best friend, not my boyfriend,â I huff, as if trying to deny what I already know is true.
âYou and I know full well that you donât have to be dating someone to be in love,â she replies, sending me a gentle smile. âYour relationship with JJ is a prime example of that. Youâve been in love with that boy for years and, from what Iâve seen, he is just as in love with you.â
âI know that youâre mourning what you lost, but you canât stop living because of this,â she continues, tucking hair behind my ear, caressing my cheek. Her thumb wiping away the single tear escaping my eye. âYou have friends that love you; who want to be able to walk through this with you and quite frankly, Iâm running out of excuses as to why they canât come see you.â A quiet laugh falls from my lips between quiet sniffles, still unable to muster up any words.Â
âI know you feel alone, because you love him, but your friends are working through letting go of JJ too. You werenât the only one the boy left behind when he left the island. He was their best friend too,â her fingers tenderly brush through my tangled hair, knowing how that itâs always helped me relax. âWith that being said, I think you would start feeling a lot better if you stopped pushing them away, donât you?âÂ
âI guess,â I sniffle, not enjoying the fact that sheâs right.Â
âGreat, because I told them to pick you up on the dock in an hour,â she smiles brightly, scrunching up her face as she awaits my response.
âMom,â I exclaim, shooting up from my bed. âWhy would you do that? I havenât showered in a week! Thereâs so much that needs to be done!âÂ
 She laughs from her spot on the bed, watching me haphazardly pull clothes out of my closet. I hurry towards the bathroom with a heap of clothes in my arms, pausing to drop everything on the bed to wrap her in a hug. âThank you.â
ââ
Crowded but a lonely place
Sittinâ at a table full of double dates
And everywhere I go, I wanna see your face
I take a sip from the solo cup in my cold hands, shuddering due to the breeze that passed by. My attention on John B and Sarah seated across from me, laughing at something Pope had said. The boneyard buzzing with multiple groups of people due to the kegger currently taking place on the beach.
 I zone out from the conversation to study my surroundings. A familiar emptiness settling in as I mindlessly scan the crowd in search of JJ even though I know he isnât here. Scanning my surroundings in search of him has become a part of my routine; seemingly a side affect of missing him.Â
My eyes trail over my friends, each looking exceptionally light, carelessly engrossed in their conversation. Two months ago, I would have been happy at the sight but something is missing. Someone is missing and Iâve caught myself feeling completely alone in moments like this one. JJâs arm should be carelessly draped over my shoulders but instead thereâs an empty spot next to me, and a deep longing that never seems to go away. Our group has been perfectly paired up ever since Sarah and John B got together, Pope and Kiara following soon after, but now Iâm always left feeling like a fifth wheel on a double date.Â
âHey,â Kieâs voice cals, pulling my attention back to my friends. The small fire in front of us casts shadows on each of them as Iâm met with Kieâs concerned face. âYou good?â Her question catches me off guard and forces me to shift uncomfortably in lawn chair under everyoneâs gaze.Â
âUm, yeah, Iâm fine. I guess that itâs kind of hard to enjoy parties anymore,â I shrug, trying to muster up a reassuring smile. âTheyâre not the same without JJ.â Her concerned expression drops into one of sympathy and I immediately regret saying anything. John B whispers something to Sarah, pressing a soft kiss against her temple, before he moves to take the empty seat next to me. He wordlessly slings his arm over my shoulders and pulls me into him, resting his chin on my head.
âI miss him too,â he whispers looking down at me.
âI shouldâve gone with him,â I state, Johnâs eyes softening at the tears filling my eyes. âWhen we were young, we promised each other that we wouldnât leave unless we were together.â A tearful laugh falls from my lips at the memory. âYet, when it actually came down to it, he didnât seem to give leaving me behind a second thought. I should have tried harder to-â
âStop,â John interrupts gently tilting my chin so I would look at him. âI know it hurts, but I love you too much to watch you do this to yourself.âÂ
His thumbs catch tears that I didnât even realize were falling. âJJ is stubborn and hard to get through to, you know that. I know there was a part of him that wanted to take you with him but he needed to do himself. Weâve been cleaning up after him for as long as I can remember. I think he realized that he needed to be able to make his own decision without having anyone else to worry about.â
âI want to hate him,â I admit with a heavy sigh. âI feel like I want to be angry with him but I canât.â John nods in agreement, seeming to understand what I meant. âI just feel so broken, JB. Heâs my best friend.âÂ
âI know,â he sighs, pulling me against his chest again. âWeâll get through it together.â âââââ- Pictures, Iâm remindedÂ
Of good times, how we tried it
Donât know how to get you out of my mind
I donât have it in me to deny it
Sitting cross-legged on the floor of the guest bedroom at the chateau, I shuffle through the old photo album Iâd found. My lips curve into a smile when I come across a couple of more recent photos that were haphazardly stuffed into the back of the tethered book. They were taken on a cheap disposable camera that JJ bought me after he overheard me talking to Kiara about how much Iâd been wanting to buy one.
It was a beautiful day so weâd packed the HMS Pogue up with fishing supplies and snacks having opted to spend the day on the water.Â
The sun had just started going down, each of us sun kissed and slightly tipsy as we waited for the sunset. I was curled up on the front of the boat with JJ, clad in his t-shirt with a blanket strewn across our laps. My back rested against his front, his chest vibrating with soft laughter as John B clambered back into the boat, soaking wet, after heâd lost his balance while wrestling with Pope. John B let out a string of threats as we all laughed at him, mostly due to the look on his face when he realized he was going down.Â
I smiled at the way that JJ hugged me closer to him when our laughter died down. He adjusted me in his lap, his arms still wrapped tightly around my torso as I focused on the sunset ahead of us. I was so focused on the view that I didnât notice Kie approaching us with my camera in her hands. Weâd all taken turns taking photos on it because I was antsy to get them developed to see how they would turn out.Â
JJ, also oblivious to Kieâs presence, pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of my head right as the flash of the camera went off causing both of us to jump slightly.
âMy eyes,â JJ exclaims, a laugh falling my lips when his hands suddenly moved in front of my eyes as if he was going to protect them from another flash. I heard the camera click again causing JJ to protest. âKie, Iâm going blind here.â
JJâs hands fell from my eyes; returning to their original spot on my waist. Kie stood in front of us lifting my camera again to taunt him. My head fell back against JJâs chest, loud loud laughs falling from my lips, as JJ shouted threats at Kie. Pope and John B had since joined in on the fun, egging Kie on. JJ halted his movements, an endearing smile on his face as he looked down at me, watching me laugh.
âNow would be a good time to take a picture, Kie,â John whispered, prompting her to catch the sweet moment.
I shake my head; fingers delicately brushing over the pictures.
âI thought youâd be hiding in here,â Johnâs voice rang, pulling me out of my trance. I look up at him from my position on the floor. His arms cross against his chest, a lazy smile on his lips, as he leaned against the door frame.
âYeah, sorry,â I blush, watching him stalk over to where Iâm seated.
âI remember that day,â he smiles, taking one of the pictures from my hands. âTimes we much simpler then.â I nod in agreement; wordlessly pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
âI thought he was going to kiss me,â I admit with a small laugh.
âMe too. Iâm convinced that he would have if Kie hadnât ruined the mood,â John replies, moving to flip through the photo album on the floor.
âActually, the mood wouldnât have been ruined if you hadnât encouraged her to take the picture. So I think youâre the one to blame,â I joke, shoving his shoulder.
âThat may be true, but at least we captured the moment and you can keep it forever.â He throws his hands up in surrender and gestures to the picture before returning his attention to the photo album.
âHe loves you a lot. You know that right?â John asks, breaking the comfortable silence. âGod, he always looked at you like that.â Johnâs voice broke with a lighthearted laugh.
âHe did, didnât he?â I whisper, relishing in the memories of how JJ always looked at me as if I was all that mattered. âI canât stop thinking about him, John B. I mean, heâs been gone for weeks and hasnât even bothered to call. Doesnât he realize that weâre worried about him? I canât walk into a room without looking for him or go to sleep without having nightmares about him being alone.â
âHey, itâs JJ weâre talking about. Heâll come around eventually. I miss him like hell, but I know that he needed to go.âJohn assured pulling the pictures out of my hands so that I would look at him. His hand came up to caress my cheek, just like JJ had done since we were young. âI also know that heâd hate it if he knew how much this is hurting you.âÂ
âI just wish heâd call. I hate missing him.âÂ
âI know,â he sighs, pulling me into a loose hug. We stayed like that for a long time, John holding me against his chest as he quietly shared stories about his dad. We only moved when my head began lulling to the side, fighting to keep my eyes open. John wordlessly stood up, sticking his hand out for me to grab. âIâll tell your mom that youâre staying over again.â
âThank you,â I yawn, giving him a quick hug before he exited the room. I turn around, pulling on one of the sweatshirts JJ always left out for me to wear. It doesnât smell like him anymore, but still brings me the same sense of comfort that it always has.Â
Spending the night at the chateau is the only way I seem to be able to get a decent nights sleep nowadays. Something about staying in the guest room, that JJ practically claimed as his own, seemed to cure my tendency to lie awake at night worrying about him. I curl under the covers feeling myself relax almost immediately as sleep welcomed me. âââââââ
Cause everybody, everybody knows something I donât
Where are they? I think to myself, eyebrows furrowing together when I notice that the Twinkie isnât parked in front of John Bâs house. I stalk up the driveway and let myself into the house.Â
âHello,â I call, only to be met with silence. I pull my phone out of my pocket, quickly dialing Kieâs number in confusion.
âHey you,â She answers, sounding slightly nervous.
âWhere are you guys? I thought we were meeting at the chateau,â I respond, ignoring her tone.Â
âPope was supposed to call you,â she sighs, only making my confusion grow.
âWhat do you mean, why?â
âWell, we all kind of got called into work last minute. The boys are helping Heyward set up for midsummerâs and I have to cover for a waitress that didnât come in,â she explains, and I hear hushed whispers on the other line.Â
âWhy do you sound so weird? Whatâs wrong?â I ask, noticing the weird strain in her voice.Â
âWeird? I donât sound weird. Everythingâs fine,â she dismissed. The whispers on her end of the phone only growing louder. I canât make out whatâs being said but Iâm certain that John B was among the people whispering.Â
âKie, what is going on? Are the boys th-â
âHey, Iâm sorry I have to go. Sorry for bailing on the plans last minute, but itâs urgent. Iâll meet you at Sarahâs to get ready for tonight,â she quickly rushes before hanging up the phone.Â
I slide my phone into my pocket with a frown, deciding to walk to Sarahâs now seeing as everyone else seems to be busy. I kick at loose rocks on the ground; thinking back to my conversation with Kie. Theyâre definitely hiding something. I furrow my eyebrows, feeling annoyed due to being in the dark about what was going on.Â
I canât seem to settle down,
Cause Iâm waiting on you to come around
Midsummers has been going on for nearly an hour, and Iâve been on edge the whole time. This year was the first year that all of the Pogues, excluding JJ, are attending the party. Pope being here to help Heyward prepare food while John B is Sarahâs plus one.Â
Iâve been eyeing my friends closely all night, noticing multiple moments of hushed whispers whenever I came back around. Iâve only grown more and more frustrated at their lack of explanation as to why they are acting so suspicious.Â
âOkay, I donât know what the hell is going on, but Iâm over it. If someone doesnât give me answers right now, Iâm leaving,â I huff, walking over to my friend group, huddled by the food tables away from everyone else. They turn around in surprise, my tone clearly catching them off guard. I cross my arms, patiently waiting for someone to speak while they share a glance. Everyoneâs eyes landing on John B. Whose eyes were trained on something behind me, a slight smile adorning his face.
âLeaving so soon? But the party just got here,â a familiar voice states behind me causing goosebumps to rise on my skin; my breath catching in my throat. My heart pounds against my rib cage as I turn around in shock, a loud gasp leaving my lips at the sight of the blonde boy standing in front of me with his hands in his pockets.Â
âJJ,â I choke out, hands shooting to my mouth in disbelief. His figure blurs with the tears filling my eyes. I wordlessly watch him step closer to me, seemingly frozen in place at the sight in front of me.
âItâs me,â he whispers. âIâm right here.â All of my emotions hit me the moment his hands tenderly cup my face, thumbs brushing away the shocked tears. I throw my arms around him, trying not to make too much of a scene as quiet sobs fall from my shaking frame. A wave of peace rolls over my body at the realization that JJ is okay and is safely tucked in my arms.
The rest of the Pogues come around us, wrapping us in the middle of an emotional group hug. When the hug breaks, I cling to JJ for a few more seconds, not entirely convinced that heâs actually in front of me. His lips press a gentle kiss on my forehead, quietly assuring me that he was there.Â
âDonât leave me again,â I demand, pulling myself away from his grip. âMy heart canât handle it.â
âI promise, Iâm here for good,â he laughs, pulling me into one more hug before we return to reality. We spend the rest of the party catching up and enjoying each others company. For the first time in weeks, things feel okay.Â
âââââââ
And everybody lookinâ like a honeymoon
But all that I have been looking for is me and you
Glancing around John Bâs living room, a content smile forms on my face. I take a mental snapshot of the moment; relishing in how good it feels to be together again. Our bodies clad in pajamas all squished together on the small pullout couch. We shared stories for hours, everyone falling asleep one by one until me and JJ were the only two left awake.
âDo you want to go to the guest room? As much as I love these guys, I donât really want to wake up groping any of them,â he whispered, pausing when Pope stirred in his sleep. I smile, pressing my finger to my lips to signal him to be quiet as I slowly crawl out of bed, trying not to wake any of them up. JJ follows soon after, successfully making it off of the mattress without disturbing anyone. He nods toward the hallway, lacing his fingers with mine before pulling me towards the room.Â
We wordlessly crawl under the covers and settle into a comfortable silence, noticing the sun beginning to peak through the blinds. JJ wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest with a content sigh.Â
âIâve missed this,â I murmur, breaking the peaceful silence. JJ hums in agreement, pressing a chaste kiss on my forehead mumbling a soft, âme too,â against my skin. My heart swells at the feeling, a sudden wave of confidence spreading through my body forcing me to sit up in the bed abruptly, pulling myself out of his grasp.
âWhatâs wrong,â he asks, mirroring my movements as he shifts to face me. I instinctively grab his hand; fingers tracing the lines on his palms to keep myself from looking at him.
âI need to tell you something,â I state after a few moments of silence, hesitantly tearing my gaze away from our hands. Iâm met with a concerned expression, his hand moving to push my hair out of my face.
âWhat is it?â I sigh at his question, nerves beginning to settle in as I stare at him. You have to tell him, I think to myself, thereâs really no going back at this point.Â
âJJ I-â I pause, pressing my lips together in a thin line. The fear of telling him how I feel eating away at me, while he patiently waits for me to continue.Â
âYou can tell me,â he smiles, a slight glimmer in his eyes.
âThe last three months have been absolute hell,â I admit, watching his supportive expression drop at my words. âI was forced to watch everyone else continue on with their lives while I was just stuck.â
He opens his mouth to say something but I shake my head, silently beginning him to let me continue. âYouâve been this constant thought on my mind. Itâs kind of funny actually, it seems that you constantly demanded my attention even when you werenât here,â I laugh lightheartedly, wiping away the tears that escaped my eyes.Â
âAnyway, your being gone gave me a lot of time to think and Iâve realized that I canât keep pretending that I donât feel a certain way about you,â JJâs eyes urge for me to continue as his hand gently squeezes my own. âJJ, Iâm in love with you.âÂ
My words echo in my ears, heart beating rapidly in my chest, as I stare at my best friend. âI canât keep pretending that Iâm content with just being your best friend. Itâs okay if you donât feel the same way, but I have to be honest with you. All I could think about was-â
âStop talking,â he interrupts, hands gripping my shoulders as a serious expression crosses over his face, making my heart drop. Our friendship is over. I just got him back and Iâm going to lose him again. âYouâre insane if you think I donât feel the same way about you.â He moves his hands to cup my face, his eyes flickering down to my lips. âLeaving made me realize that the only time I feel safe is when Iâm with you.â He hesitated for a moment before closing the gap between us with a kiss. His lips pressing against mine urgently as he pulled me into his lap.Â
âGod, youâre all Iâve ever wanted,â he sighs, after breaking the kiss. Our chests heaving slightly due to the previous lack of air.Â
âDonât leave me again,â I state, shoving him backwards onto the bed, watching him laugh in surprise. He flips us over, pinning me to the bed as his lips met mine again.
âIâm here for good,â he murmurs, pulling me into his arms after collapsing next to me. The beating of his heart lulled me into a peaceful sleep, resting on his promise to stay.Â

















