Chanel N° 3

There is a killer on the loose in my sorority house. A bunch of my sorta friends have been killed and no one has asked me about it!

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shvtupmurphy:

“ it’s totally cool if i just stay here and do nothing for the rest of my life right? — screw living life to the fullest and all that crap. i wanna sit here until my rotted corpse starts stinking up the place and they have no choice but to remove me. that’s my new life goal.”

      that... was actually a life goal sadie could get behind. do nothing. rot away. she was already dead inside, what harm could ACTUALLY being dead do?? the only person that would really miss her is chanel, and even then she’d be easily replaced. “ self loathing isn’t an attractive trait. but sure, rot away. can i join?? ”

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rcdwells:

   “guess what?? i don’t accept that for one bit. you’ve still got it in your blood, i don’t care.” he leaned in slightly closer to her once flamingos were mentioned, the confusion scribbled all over his face. he couldn’t say he was surprised. of course chanel was doing something like this. “how is a flamingo going to kill someone?? seriously??” he asked, biting his tongue to keep him from saying anything. of course this was chanel’s idea. “—i was murdered. i was more than happy to marry her and be able to get in that box whenever i wanted. but no. someone had to ruin it.”

      “ chanel has shut down every idea for a murder that i’ve had. i don’t think i’m cut out for the serial killer life. ” granted they WERE dumb ideas. they still could’ve worked. maybe. probably not. she shrugged slightly, lips pursing at her own words. “ something about filling their room with flamingo poo. the fumes would kill them?? sounds reasonable to me. ” then again, everything chanel came up with sounded like a good idea. or maybe it was just the fear of going against chanel speaking. “ yeah, but you still died. you could’ve like, i don’t know, stayed alive. being murdered isn’t an excuse. ”

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ᕤ --- emma ; battlehardencd

send ᕤ for a fun time!! → accepting → @battlehardencd

      “ there was that one time where i had a nightmare about socks. ” 

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ᕤ

send ᕤ for a fun time!! → accepting

      “ let me hear those noises again. ”

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rcdwells:

   scrunching up his nose at her reply, he crossed his arms over his chest, keeping a protective stance. it wasn’t like he was surprised by her reply. not in the slightest. “yeah well, i’m here so.” chad replied, his eyebrows touching as she continued talking about a fish. usually he was the confusing one but she was still strange as hell. “listen number three, i’m just as surprised to see you. i thought you would have thrown a hissy fit and murdered chanel and chanel number five when i died, kinda in your blood to do so, right??” did he mean the majority of this?? no. but he couldn’t help himself. “chanel’s here too?? i thought i’d have some peace and quiet for a bit. but apparently not.” sighing heavily, chad shrugged, forcing a smile on his face. “it’s nice to see you though. i mean—nice for you.. alright for me.”

      “ my biological father, charles manson, never actually did the killing. ” at least she learned SOMETHING whilst she was here. thanks, jj. “ he had other people do it for him. kind of like how chanel has me getting imported animals so SHE can kill someone. do you know how hard it is to get your hands on flamingos?? especially AFTER you ask whether or not their poop is actually pink?? they don’t take you seriously. at all. ” because this was totally his problem now. she shook her head, completely disregarding her question as a hand came up to scratch at her earmuffs quickly. “ i think you owe it to her. you did sort of die on her at your own wedding. that was a dick move. ” 

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rcdwells:

    “i mean, i’m not remotely surprised that i’m back on earth. jesus and i were pretty tight up there and he was either super annoyed with me or decided that i needed to be back in action—y’know, getting some ass. but it’s definitely the latter of those two i’m sure.” chad nodded, curling his lips together in thought as his eyes were locked on a wall. “—did you say something??” honestly, it was the first person he had seen and just felt the need to rant.

      chad?? well, it wasn’t the WEIRDEST thing she’d experienced. whatever. roll with it. “ why are you here?? ” great start. “ i literally saw your corpse. you were dead. like, deader than the sick fish i had when i was nine that my brother talked me into putting into the freezer because he made me believe that the government would have a cure if we froze him. -- he was really dead, in case that wasn’t clear. ” pause. “ have you seen chanel?? ”

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richagain:

[to: number three👯]:  I don’t know? India? Why are you making this harder than it needs to be?!

[to: number three👯]:  The only thing “deadly” in Australia are the people. They’re like the Duck Dynasty cast of Earth. They’re all buck toothed and wear jumpers. It’s a fact.

[to: number three👯]: Okay, good. I leave calling every zoo in Africa and asking if there are any flamingos for sale up to you. Remember, money is no object.

[ text: 💕💖CHANEL💖💕 ]: are ostriches indian? they don’t sound indian [ text: 💕💖CHANEL💖💕 ]: i dunno. i’ve seen some hot australians. maybe they’re mixed [ text: 💕💖CHANEL💖💕 ]: okay. sure sounds easy. how many do we want? should i ask if their poo is pink first? what if they don’t ship internationally? 

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That’s the Space Needle, not the Eiffel Tower you schmuck.

meme queens → accepting

      “ but i thought all holes in space were black holes?? why do they need sewing?? ”

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gwcnstacies:

[ text: chanel ]: did you at least sleep well those hours you passed out?

[ text: gwen ]: i guess so idk i was asleep

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gwcnstacies:

[ text: chanel ]: why would you drink a whole bottLE

[ text: gwen ]: ... [ text: gwen ]: i misread the label and everyone was just like ‘fuck it. just see how this turns out’ [ text: gwen ]: good news, i dont think i coughed for like, a month. like, at all

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hcrfmanns:

[ text: puff ]: one si de of the piza has a feather [ text: puff ]: i dont knw where it ca me from [ text: puff ]: a bird

[ text: #2 ]: is it a pink feather? [ text: #2 ]: chanel wants a flamingo

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( ✉ → sms ) i think my neighbor is an alien. --- max ; rewiindtime

meme → accepting

( here!! )

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@rewiindtime cont from x

[ text: max ]: do you need some tin foil? [ text: max ]: i’m not good at making hats out of it but we’ll work it out

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hcrfmanns:

[ text: puff ]: ill split it withyou  

[ text: #2 ]: the 30 second pizza germs? [ text: #2 ]: deal

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hcrfmanns:

[ text: puff ]: wha t if thers an emergnc y [ text: puff ]: its been like 5 5 seconds rules 

[ text: #2 ]: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [ text: #2 ]: i’m sure it’s still fine after 30 seconds

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hcrfmanns:

[ text: puff ]: i h ave like 2 ba  rs [ text: puff ]: n O bactria 

[ text: #2 ]: thats unfortunate [ text: #2 ]: 5 second rule duh

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richagain:

               ‘     isn’t your father IN JAIL? i’m obviously not going to accept any advice from a man who was so stupid he ended up in PRISON.  besides, how the hell are we going to make a bomb? they don’t even sell bomb parts in new york, idiot, they sell them in places like chicago or to missing tooth rednecks who live in a sundown town      and      spend SUNDAY MORNING making out with their biological sister, OBVI!     ’    of course that wasn’t proven but it sounded like it made sense.                ‘     i don’t want to kill her because she keeps repeating words that’s just one of the PLETHORA of reasons why.     ’ if chanel keeps rolling her eyes they’re going to get stuck like that.         ‘   don’t you think that she’d be able to SMELL the bleach? thank you, number three, for reminding me why I’M the brains of this operation.     ’

     “ yeah but it’s not like we can ask the zodiac killer for tips. ” because, naturally, that’s totally the next step from charles manson. “ you know those volcanos you make in like, 5th grade?? or when you put mentos in coke?? i don’t know, i know a cop, i’ll ask her. ” she shrugged, fingers fiddling with the bottom of her jacket. surely building a bomb couldn’t be that hard, right?? “ what if we put it in a water bottle?? -- does the smell of bleach penetrate plastic?? i never smell it through the bottle, i assume that would work, right?? ” no. obviously. “ well what did you have in mind then?? ”