Namrata

Not much, just words.

[swiftxdora]

We're best-friends

i love being friends with you chatting in the middle of the night, turning minutes into hours, like we had an endless supply of five more minutes.

one moment we’re laughing, the next we’re holding eyes for all the things we lived by.

sorrys for the rest of the year spent in a day, you say, but how could i not want you again?

so i flirt like it’s a no biggie. we’re back to being best friends, like we agreed.

joking about kisses and cuddles, whatever messy hair implied, because we’d shared a few that night.

drunk under the starry skies, your hands in mine,

in your dim-lit room as the night passed by,

with songs we both loved playing behind.

i know, i know, i love what we have.

but oh, what i’d give for you to look at me like that again, with all the longing and admiration you had to give.

selfishly now, drinking games i don’t seem to mind.

but then, honestly, i love being best friends with you again.

- Namrata

[swiftxdora]

You said hi

I thought I’d be scared

Scared to fall one more time

Love seemed to be a risky business

One that i’d never have to deal with again. 

My mom’s terrified

Secretely even sorry she ever loved and trusted him,

The one who broke her baby to pieces

Cuz she had to pick up the remains.

I cannot blame her,

I fell harder to the trenches after all. 

But then you said hi, 

asked me questions I can no longer identify.

Its a shame

I got so shy,

When all u did was hold eyes and gently smile. 

I tell my friends its a silly little crush,

It’ll go away

More than them, I know its for myself to hear.

Cuz how can i even admit, 

you’ve got me falling again..

A lot harder and safer,

Calmer like the waves at night.

- Namrata

[swiftxdora]

The world knew US

You’d say u love my voice,  

couldn’t be a lie, right?

You'd want me sing you to sleep  

most nights...

You’d make sure the windows were down,  

in the car with your lovely family around.

“Babe, it’s embarrassing,” i’d sigh,  

But smile back quick,  

Cuz you’d known me.

Yea, you’d known me  

Way better than i did.

Can i call it love?  

Or would you be offended?

Since you’d also go to her  

Right after you’d hold me tight.

You’re wanting to forget me, right?  

You probably already did.

But there’s this feeling.  

I always keep wondering...

It’s keeping me up at nights.

Were u really there with me?  

On new year’s eve,  

Under the painted sky?

Cuz she was looking  

at that picture of our fireworks  

from her bedside.

I don't know what I'd say to her..  

She knew about us.

But baby, we had 5 years.  

How did you sell it  

for 1 with her?

Yea, the world knew US.

But you knew her

- Namrata

[swiftxdora]

to the boy with the cutest smile

i didn’t like you right away, right away as i saw you.

but something happened:

i found myself eager to go to each of our sessions.

caught myself heating up when you’d smile and crack up your silly little jokes.

wait -am i starting to like you? i wondered.

yep, for sure.

cuz even you munching on cabbage started seeming cute.

uh uh, worse than i thought,

when i started stumbling during our convos.

but here’s the thing, i always knew you didn’t feel that way.

not out of self-pity or confidence that low,

but as they say, you just know when you know.

i thought of keeping it to myself, sparing me the heartache.

but hey, you seemed so great.

it just didn’t seem fair,

stumbling forever on what-ifs was not it with you.

so i picked my phone, waiting for you to say no.

even with that though, how could you be so cool?

i don’t regret you.

you showed me what someone could be like.

and somehow, even rejection felt kind coming from you.

- Namrata