I keep getting doms in my messages and I just have to say: I don’t think even half of you understand the type of commitment it takes to have a submissive.
A true d/s relationship requires high prioritization. A submissive is trusting you to care for their emotions while you are wielding power of them. This isn’t a dynamic for someone who just wants kinky sex. You need to learn your submissive’s triggers, their trauma, their blindspots, and their nonverbal cues that they are past the point of being able to safe word. It’s not just about pleasure and getting off. You need to be prepared to reassure your submissive that they’re valuable to you as a person. Sometimes you’ll need to know that they need this when they might not know themself. Because to be a dominant is a power role. That power can easily become unbalanced and easily become abusive if you’re not constantly communicating and being conscious of the impact of your words and actions.
To any subs reading this: you deserve a dom who is educated about d/s and truly cares for you as a person. Have high standards. It can suck not to have a dom, but it’s so much more damaging to yourself and your future relationships to have a bad dom than it’s worth.
