you joined a fandom, started supporting SIX (6) girls. you found a bias in manon (valid i love her!), you saw how she was being mistreated and instead of feeling outrage to the company or wondering if the other girls are being mistreated also, you decide to become a solo stan and start slandering the other five girls making crude rumours about them? mind you these are young women that SEE the bullshit you say about them. so in wanting your fave to stop being mistreated you’re going to mistreat her friends??
synopsis: when jonah and orlando meet from their girlfriends by fate, they’re supposed to at least tolerate each other. but when the tolerance grows in to something more, what can they possibly do?
tags: fluff, heavy angst, suggestive language, lara is #ihatemybf final boss, crack, satire, mentions of sex, kys/kms jokes, gooning jokes..? pop base is here too, may add tags as i go on.
pairings: jonah david x orlando giannini/daniela avanzini x megan skiendiel/manon bannerman x lara raj/platonic!sophia laforteza and yoonchae jeung
a/n: all spelling/grammar mistakes are intentional— 👀
“are you… are you breaking up with me?” the words you have been dreading come out of your mouth as a whisper. you stare at your girlfriend, your brows furrowed in disbelief. she stands in front of you with a tired look in her eyes, as if she has no fight left in her.
the will to continue arguing about what has happened seems to have exhausted the other girl, but you, on the other hand, continued to stand your ground, eyes pleading as your lip trembled at the thought of the brunette slipping through your fingertips.
you didn’t even consider this to be a possibility. she’s your soulmate– it’s literally written in destiny. the stars and planets aligned just at the right time, so that you can be in this space with her.
and now, she wants to break up, despite what was already laid out for both of you.
megan takes a sharp breath and closes her eyes tightly, crossing her arms over her chest. her eyes dart around your dorm room to avoid yours, and this frustrates you even more. you grip your arm tightly as you think about the words inscribed on it. you felt betrayed, not only by megan but also by the universe itself. “you’re breaking up with me.” the finality in your words causes your voice to break.
your tears begin to stream down your cheeks as she slowly nods, still avoiding your eyes. “i just… think it would be better for right now, you know?”
but you don’t know. you don’t think you will ever know.
you jump at the sound of keeho slamming his hands down onto the table, leaning over it with his eyes wide after you give him the rundown of the events that occurred the night before. you lean back in your seat to look up at him, your heart beating loudly in your chest. “are you fucking crazy?!” you hiss. your eyes begin to dart around the library you’re both occupying in hopes you won’t find someone paying either one of you any attention.
he stands his ground, his eyes keeping the same amount of intensity (or insanity, whichever way you look at it). “i’m fucking crazy?! you just lost your soulmate! that’s fucking crazy!” you shush him quickly, getting up from your seat to grab his shoulders. you attempt to push him back into his chair, but he holds onto your arms, somehow getting the upper hand. “how are you not freaking out right now?!” his voice booms throughout the quiet library, and it makes you wince.
you manage to push him back into his seat, and for a moment, you try catching your breath, still standing over the table. you look down at him and suddenly remember what you two were talking about in the first place. your fists clench when it catches up to you, and your jaw tightens when the memory of losing megan comes back at you with full force. your heart twists painfully in your chest, and you want to scratch the words off of your arm, tear it easily off of your skin as if it were a band-aid.
suddenly, you fall back into your seat in defeat. “it just doesn’t feel real.” you quietly respond. your shoulders slump, and you keep your eyes on your lap.
keeho stares at you and frowns, rubbing the back of his neck in slight embarrassment over his theatrical reaction. “i’m sorry, y/n…” he sighs deeply. when you don’t respond, he leans forward once more and places his elbows on the table. he whispers, “did she say why? i mean… this is a lot.” you can’t help but let out a bitter laugh in response to his words.
you pick your head up and give him a slight, strained smile. “she said we’re young. and we should experience being young before committing to anything…”
he furrows his brows. “what? dude, if i found my soulmate, i wouldn’t even bother with dating anymore.” he leans back in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “like, that’s it. that person is all i’ll ever need.”
you shrug at his words and look away again, your eyes scanning the library silently, observing the other college students who occupy the space. “i think it’s because i’m…” you run your hand through your hair, trying to find the words to explain the thought that has been haunting your mind since you started noticing the changes in your relationship with megan. “i don’t know… i think it’s because i’m, you know, me.” the last part comes out quietly, although loud enough to voice your insecurities.
you attempt to avoid the conversation by staring at a group of students at one of the study tables. they loudly discuss one of their classes– you pick up on it being ‘soulmate theory 110.’ a required class for all students in the college. you took it freshman year, and you wish you had paid more attention, especially now.
“what do you mean? you’re a catch, friend.” he tells you with a bewildered look in his eyes. his words cause you to let out a chuckle, shaking your head at his attempt at being lighthearted. you turn away from the group of students to look at keeho with a slight smile tugging at your lips.
“she’s a literal popstar. she’s probably in the studio right now while i'm sitting here with you.” you emphasize the last part, enjoying the way he rolls his eyes at your implications.
keeho huffs and keeps his arms crossed. he looks at you worriedly as he replies, “do you… i mean, is there a chance for her to come back? i mean, it’s not like she has any other choice, right?” you bite your lip as you think about his question. your eyes find your arm again, and a bit of hope resonates throughout your body.
“i’m sure we’ll figure it out.”
‘you looked lonely over here.”
you always found the inscription to be somewhat ironic.
before meeting megan, you had always wondered what the situation would be like. you used to stay up past your bedtime when you were younger, fantasizing about the interaction you would have with your soulmate for the very first time. you used to practice how you would reply, taking guesses at what your own first words would be. the concept of soulmates has always fascinated you. the idea of someone being curated just for you seemed like a dream, and you found yourself always hopeless.
when you do finally meet megan, it is the farthest thing from magical.
you were admittedly high out of your mind and sat outside the porch of someone’s house that you couldn’t for the life of you remember. you knew they were the host, and you knew it was one of keeho’s famous influencer friends that he managed to make during his internship last summer with a big music company in los angeles. the moment you were told there would be a little weed and a little booze, it would have taken more to convince you not to go than not.
however, after having more than a little weed and no booze at all, you begin to regret your life choices as you sit slumped on one of the patio chairs, staring up at the sky and creating your own constellations out of the stars that sit above you.
suddenly, the sliding door opened, but the obnoxious squeak it made still didn’t stir you from your current, mindless task. you continued to sit there, unmoving, not even noticing the intruder coming to sit next to you on the patio.
after a few minutes of silence, the intruder cleared their throat. her voice was so quiet that it didn’t quite register in your head what she said. “you looked lonely over here.”
you turned your head toward the unfamiliar girl, your eyes hooded as if the lights were on, but no one was home. you squinted at her, whispering back, “who do i look like?”
her eyes widened. you noticed how she suddenly froze, unable to respond to your question. you tried to rewind the interaction in your head, figuring out what could have been the source of her sudden shift in demeanor. then suddenly, it registered.
her first words to you.
you swallowed the lump in your throat and felt your body becoming hot with slight embarrassment over missing what had just happened. you whispered again, “wait– what did you say?”
she bit her lip, tucking a strand of her ginger hair behind her ear shyly. the girl in front of you lets out a nervous giggle– a sound that makes your heart flutter in your chest. she looked down at her arm and smiled. “i said, “you looked lonely over here.”” she then extends her arm out to you, displaying the words inscribed into her arm. you read every word, memorized every letter and syllable that stood out to you like it was code only you and her could decipher together.
“wait, i said that?” is how you chose to respond. you look up at her, your cheeks red and a sheepish smile on your face. the sight of you made the girl, your soulmate, laugh loudly. she smiles widely through her laughter, and you can’t help but join her. it felt ridiculous. you pictured this moment for so long, just for it to be messy, nothing short of a disaster.
but as you take another glance at her, seeing her whiskered dimples in her cheeks, you knew the moment was perfect in its own right.
when her laughter subsides, she continues grinning and scoots her chair closer to you. “it’s you.” she whispered as if declaring to the universe that they’d done their job. she looks at you, her eyes brown and gentle, providing you with a warmth that only a soulmate could provide.
you whispered back, “it’s me.”
it’s been a month since megan broke up with you, and all the videos you’ve been seeing of her on different social media outlets have made you almost deactivate every single one of your accounts.
in all of them, she looked so happy, so carefree. there was one of her recently at weho pride that made you stare for far too long. but then, you remembered you were no longer together, and you ended up throwing your phone across the room.
now, with no more megan and $800 down the drain, you feel rather discouraged.
you trudge to class tiredly after pulling another all-nighter. to avoid thinking about your ex, you’ve had your nose buried in textbook after textbook, completing assignments quickly as they come. you never had an interest in the inevitable economic collapse in the united states. still, you’re confident that if you were given an exam right now, you’d ace it in ten minutes flat. your coping mechanism could have been worse– honestly, you could have tried a schedule 2 drug at this point just to feel something again.
but hard drugs have always scared you, and you’ve always been too afraid to try new things.
there’s an ache in your back as you step inside the classroom, letting your legs guide you to the seat you claimed earlier in the quarter. however, you stop in your tracks when you see a girl you haven’t seen before sitting there. you notice how she has already unpacked all of her belongings, ready for the lecture that awaits.
a migraine begins to settle inside your head as you take a sharp breath, opting to take an open seat in the back of the room instead of fighting a new battle. you drop your stuff onto the ground and plop into the seat, immediately letting your head fall onto the unfamiliar desk with a thud.
the words on your arm burn with every image of megan that flashes through your mind.
you lay on chaewon’s floor, your eyes focused on her ceiling fan as you air out the one and only grievance you’ve had on your mind all day.
“someone stole my fucking seat in class today.” you suddenly blurt out. chaewon hums in acknowledgment, letting you know she is listening but doesn’t want to turn around to pay you attention. you turn your head toward keeho, who sits criss-crossed on chaewon’s bed, hugging one of her squishmallows in his lap.
he raises an eyebrow at you, a slight smile tugging at his lips over your dramatics. “is it assigned seating?” he snickers, resting his chin on top of the squishmallows’ head.
you sigh, shaking your head. “no… but it’s like. university 101 etiquette. the seat you picked at the beginning of the semester is your seat forever.” you’re aware you’re whining, but after everything you’ve already lost, to lose something else feels like a low blow.
chaewon looks at you through the vanity mirror that she sits at, pausing her makeup routine just to give you a look of disbelief. “did you… tell her that was your seat?” you turn your head toward the girl and pout. Before you can respond, chaewon looks away from you and continues curling her lashes. “so, you didn’t. therefore, that is the consequence of your own actions.”
you groan, rubbing your face with your hands. “chae, stop being mean, i’m sensitive right now.” your words are slightly muffled, but it doesn’t stop the smirk that spreads across keeho’s lips.
“exactly. you have bigger problems than some random girl stealing your seat.” he claims, shaking his head at the way you continue to pout.
under your breath, you murmur, “seat snatcher,” as you prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at keeho, who continues staring at you with amusement. your eyes fall onto his arm, and you raise an eyebrow. “what does your arm say again?” he lights up at your question, extending his arm out for you to see the words more clearly.
“that was really brave of you.”
chaewon snorts, which grabs your attention, snapping your head toward the girl who has moved onto the lip part of her routine. keeho tilts his head at the brunette. “now, why are you laughing?” he asks, even though he knows the answer. chaewon caps her lipstick and finally turns around in her seat to look at you and the boy.
she smiles softly before replying, “all your soulmate is asking for is for you to stop being a pussy all the time.” the moment the words leave her mouth, keeho starts to defend himself, making excuses for the reason as to why he hasn’t met his person. chaewon engages in this argument more so to continue rage-baiting the poor boy. as they bicker, you observe the characters on chaewon’s arm.
it’s in korean. in english, it’s, “is this seat taken?” you found hers to be so beautiful. the concept of soulmates being able to transcend a language barrier despite the existence of thousands. the fact that there are people out there who learn an entire language just to communicate with the love of their life, just to understand them, fills you with an adoration toward humanity. it makes you believe, for a brief moment, that love really is enough.
as the bickering between chaewon and keeho begins to subside, her eyes wander over to you, widening when she realizes you’ve been crying. she gets up from her seat and quickly walks over to you. “y/n? what the hell?” chaewon kneels and pulls you into a tight hug, allowing you to cry in her arms.
keeho jumps off the bed and kneels on the floor beside you. “y/n… it’s okay…” he whispers gently, placing a comforting hand on your back. you don’t know how it happened or what caused you to break down suddenly, but at some point, it just became too difficult for you to hide.
“i don’t– i don’t get it.” you manage to say through your broken sobs. your head falls against chaewon’s chest, and you try desperately to control your breathing, but it’s as if the walls have finally closed in on you. it’s been a month since megan broke up with you, but it also means you would have spent seven months together. it would have been seven months since finding her, and in theory, it should have been an infinite amount more.
it’s what the fairy tales talked about. all the stories passed down from one generation to the next taught you. you’re born as half of a whole, and one day, you’ll find that other half. their first words to you are engraved on your skin like a promise. it’s what the prophets call destiny– the poets call it a human’s life purpose.
but there isn’t a crash course for what to do when your other half ignores the universe.
unfortunately, an instruction manual isn’t available to your disposal to get through this.
megan loved you loudly. she loved you so much that you believed it would be difficult for her to do otherwise.
when it came to her being a rising global popstar sensation, (the group’s words, not yours. an inside joke, they told you through a fit of laughter), it was only natural that her schedule would be all over the place.
but she made the time to be with you. against all odds, she somehow managed to attach herself to your hip even on her busiest days.
megan loving you meant taking you on drives to her secret places, the windows down with your shared playlist blasting through the speakers. it meant even though geffen told her to keep your relationship on the down low, she still wore the matching necklaces you bought together. she’d wear the bracelet you got her in public; the photos taken with fans would have her displaying it proudly. instagram posts would have you in the background, or you were her photographer for the day.
megan’s love for you was vivid. it was better than anything else you could have conjured up in your head.
but then, without warning, the love felt quieter. inside jokes would go unheard, tired eyes not meeting yours across the table, her hands not reaching for you even if you were only inches apart. it went from never having time in a day to never having it during an entire week. it was an unwelcomed change, but you told yourself not to worry so much. it was her first comeback with you, and you knew the work it required would be overbearing.
however, when gnarly finally dropped and its promotions began, the love felt almost silent. it became dead air, especially when she was in korea.
in her past travels, megan loved to send you update after update. she would tell you everything on her mind, both before and after the chaos, like clockwork. megan often told you stories about what might have happened before an interview or performance, even telling you her coffee order from that morning, even if it’s the same every single time.
but this time, she didn’t respond as much, and when she did, her texts were short and to the point. the regular facetime calls after her performances never came, and the one time she finally reached out, it was a five-minute conversation about your classes until she had to leave again.
you rationalized it was the time difference. maybe her service was spotty, and she couldn’t call and text as much as she would’ve liked.
then she came back, though. and nothing felt the same.
your breaking point was a photo of her at a bar with a couple of her friends from dream academy and other influencers in the area. it circulated all over the internet, and for the first time since being with megan, you felt jealous. an ugly feeling that crawled up your throat with its claws dug deep into your skin. you try to avoid this feeling at all costs. it felt stupid, why feel jealous when she’s your soulmate?
but she told you she was staying home that night. you were supposed to meet for dinner, but she changed plans at the last minute.
and then you found out through twitter where she actually was.
this discovery led to that night in your dorm. it began as a quiet discussion that quickly turned into an argument. it was a blur as if you were looking at her through red-stained glass, cracking at every word that was said.
“i can’t do this anymore!” she shouted. “i wasn’t even ready to meet you this early!”
then it shattered.
the sun was rising at this point. its light spilled onto the floor to tell you it’s a brand new day. how unkind for the world to continue its existence when a part of you left without another word. not even a whisper to fill the silence that followed after.
now, megan lives her life loudly. it’s a life that you can’t be a part of, and you wonder, if you weren’t some random person she met at a party, if things would go differently. maybe, if you had something to your name, loving you would be worth the schedules. there would be no need to hide from the public eye because you would be a somebody.
you sit at your desk in class, writing notes as if your life depended on it. because it’s a brand new day. you write the date at the top of your paper.
two months. you wonder how you would have spent eight months together.
and then after three months without contact, megan texts you out of the blue.
after your mental breakdown in chaewon’s room, you knew it would be in your best interest to at least try moving forward in your life despite the curveball megan decided to throw in your direction. it wasn’t easy, but you’ve been making more of an effort to take care of yourself. the conversations you’ve been having with your friends have become less about what has happened and more about what will happen, such as plans for dinner, plans for going out, and so forth.
three months have gone by, and you’re starting to feel like a human again.
the moment megan’s name lights up across your phone, you feel a lump form in your throat. the feelings you’ve tried so hard to bury beneath your feet slowly start to resurface as you begin to hypothesize what the girl could possibly want at 2 in the morning. your phone shakes in your hands as you unlock it, revealing the contents of the message.
megan: hey, have you been okay?
you bite your lip, your fingers ghosting over the keyboard as you think about your response. begging for her to come back didn’t feel like an option, so you opted for honesty.
you: i've been getting better
you: you?
you wait. the homework you were working on becomes ignored as you stare at your phone. a picture of you and megan sits on your desk, and it stares at you until you fall asleep. you waited until 6 AM, until the drowsiness that consumed you finally took over.
when you wake up, it’s 11 AM. you don’t even notice the fact that you missed your 9:30 AM class because the only thing you see when you check your phone is the three new messages from megan. you check them embarrassingly fast, getting your passcode wrong again and again as your heart beats rapidly in your chest.
megan: i’m good.
megan: i’m glad to hear you’ve been getting better.
megan: just wanted to check in. i'll talk to you soon.
you raise your hand, ready to chuck your phone again across the room. but you manage to stop yourself, placing it face-first onto your desk. you look at the picture of you and megan. she still had her ginger hair, and she still loved you unconditionally, without a weight on her shoulders.
unfortunately, you don’t have another $800 to drop, and you still don’t have megan in your life.
so, you store the photo in the bottom drawer of your dresser. it’s better to have it haunt you when you need a new pair of socks.
“have you talked to the rest of the group?” chaewon asks during lunch one day. after the brief interaction you had with megan two nights ago, you called your friends for an emergency pick-me-up (unfortunately, the meeting had to be postponed to today because, college has been kicking your ass).
you continue gnawing at your straw absentmindedly, your brain not registering the question she presented to you. chaewon notices this and snaps her fingers in your face, causing you to jump away from your drink. you place it back down onto the table sheepishly before responding, “sorry, what?”
keeho snorts beside you, eyeing you both as he continues eating his fries. chaewon just sighs and shakes her head. “i asked if you talked to any of the other girls.”
you nod, your mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. “right. um… lara reaches out here and there, the other girls, though, not so much.” you tap your chin, trying to remember if anyone else has spoken to you since your breakup, and then your eyes light up. “wait! yoonchae sometimes sends me game invites…”
keeho laughs at this, covering his mouth due to the amount of food he stuffed in his face. “that checks out,” he says, although a bit muffled.
chaewon gives the boy a disgusted look before looking back at you with a nod. “what do you and lara talk about?” she steals one of keeho’s fries as she speaks, popping it into her mouth with a smirk. keeho rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest with a huff.
“just about how i’m doing and stuff… nothing that crazy.” you place your elbow on the table and rest your chin against the palm of your hand. “sometimes she’ll tell me about how megan is doing.”
keeho raises his eyebrow and pops another fry in his mouth. “and how is megan?”
you bite your lip, your eyes finding the table more interesting to look at. “she’s good.” you say flatly. a silence follows your words, and you want to make another comment that’s more lighthearted, wishing to avoid any really serious conversations about the situation. but you keep your mouth shut. knowing your friends, they’ll see right through your actions and make it harder for you to hide behind your facade.
“have you thought about, you know, dating casually?” keeho suddenly asks. you turn toward him with narrowed eyes, and he raises his hands in defense.
chaewon looks at him incredulously and leans over the table to swat at his arm. “not everyone can be like you and just date whoever we want. some of us get attached too easily…” she sits back in her seat, looking away from him with flushed cheeks. you glance at the girl and frown, remembering chaewon’s last attempt at casual dating. it ended with you both having to take the girl back home and rub her back as she hunched over a toilet, sobbing her eyes out.
you shiver at the memory. not just at what occurred, but the person who broke her heart. she’s at the top of your hit list.
“okay, i get it. but it might help a little. get some of that frustration out, you know?” it’s your turn to swat keeho’s shoulder, and he winces, rubbing the area that will most likely bruise later. you slump down in your seat, the thought of megan seeing other people making your brain go into overdrive. for it to be a possibility never registered in your head, but then people like keeho exist.
the people who won’t wait until they find their person. the people who will love until the one comes in and sweeps them off their feet.
you glance at keeho with pursed lips. you steal one of his fries before replying, “maybe i’m just not as brave as you.”
the end of the semester is close to its end, and the reminder makes you grimace. the passage of time has always bothered you, and you hate that you’re now keeping track of it through the number of months it has been since megan left.
it’s been four if anyone is wondering.
the task for today’s class is to complete a packet full of the things that you’ve learned throughout the semester. it’s a review of the material, most likely to help students in the class prepare for the final exam. usually, you’re nervous about exams. but with how hard you’ve been working this semester (against your will, you want to add), it doesn’t seem all that bad.
your professor allowed the class to work either in groups or alone, and as you look around the room, you figure it would be easier to let this be a solo assignment.
as you’re filling your name out at the top of the paper, you notice someone’s presence towering over you. you can’t help the sigh that escapes your lips at the intrusion, but you still pick your head up, recognizing the person in front of you to be the seat snatcher.
you came to learn her actual name is huh yunjin. but seat snatcher is fitting.
you can’t help the way you squint at the redhead, feeling a slight irritation at the way she smiles at you. “yes?” you ask, looking back down at your paper, so you could force yourself to stop glaring daggers at the seat snatcher.
your eyes begin to skim through the questions, not even bothering to look up at the sound of her voice. “you looked lonely over here.”
you freeze. the words knock the wind out of you, and you wonder if you heard her right. you snap your head up to meet her eyes once more, and she continues to look at you softly, tilting her head as if intrigued by your reaction. “are you–?”
“what words are on your arm?” you cut her off, furrowing your brows in slight confusion. you can’t even remember what you said to her previously; you were too petty to give her a chance at redemption.
your question causes her to widen her eyes, and you watch as she tugs at the sleeve of her sweater as if anxious to show you what could be the answers to an unsolved equation.
the reaction makes you frown at the realization that you might have been a bit harsh with yunjin. if you were being honest, you would much rather have her still be considered a seat snatcher than a soulmate; It wouldn’t make sense for the latter.
you found your soulmate already. this would be impossible.
the grip on her sleeve tightens, and your eyes flicker from her face to her arm multiple times before deciding to take matters into your own hands. you quickly push yourself away from your desk, clumsily pulling the hoodie you wear off your body.
the hoodie falls onto the floor as you extend your arm toward yunjin. she looks down, grabbing your wrist gently to get a closer look. the small physical contact makes you blush slightly, but you ignore it, keeping close attention to the korean girl’s reaction.
the way she covers her mouth with her hand worries you. no, no, no, you think. this can’t be happening.
when she lets go of your wrist, she finally decides to show you what’s been written on her arm. she slowly pulls her sleeve up her arm, and for a moment, you’re confused. you see nothing.
that is, until you do.
unlike others you’ve seen, yunjin only had one word, three letters, and a question mark.
“holy shit,” you breathe out.
megan is cozy sweaters, a vanilla scented candle lit during a thunderstorm, with the fairy lights turned on to illuminate the darkness. she’s jumping in puddles, running through the rain with a wide smile on her face because life is too short to allow the rain ruin a date. she’s pinky promises, practicing a handshake until it’s perfect, and lips pressed against the back of your hand as if to tell you, “i’m here.”
you remember one night in your dorm, your backs against your headboard, shoulders touching as you both watched a movie on your laptop. she had her head resting on your shoulder and held your hand, tracing letters into your hand with her thumb that seemed to spell out the words on your arm.
megan also loved you softly. she loved you so warmly that it always felt like spring when you were around her. you often took subtle glances at your girlfriend, loving the way the brightness of the screen lit up her face. she would crinkle her nose at the funny scenes, cuddling into your side impossibly closer.
“i love you,” she says suddenly in one single breath. your eyes widen, your head snapping toward your girlfriend. surprisingly, it’s the first time you’ve heard those words come out of her mouth, and although you knew it was inevitable, it still makes your heart stutter in your chest.
she turns to look at you, a shy smile on her face with a bright twinkle in her eyes. “i love you.” she says again, this time a little louder, more confident.
megan is the plane finally landing in the last destination, the knock on the door, being home at last.
“i love you, too.” you whisper. it lingers in the space you both occupy, with the universe dancing in celebration above your heads.
“you’re nervous,” yunjin says, observing your tightly clasped hands on the table as she takes a sip of her matcha. she tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiles a bit shyly. “i get that.”
a chuckle escapes your lips. you feel a bit sheepish, but you promised keeho and chaewon that you’d try. “yeah… i don’t know. i just feel kind of weird, i guess.” yunjin sets her cup down onto the table and nods, looking back at you with a tilt of her head. you notice a twinkle in her eyes as if she’s daydreaming about what this would mean moving forward.
yunjin places her elbows on the table and leans forward, resting her chin in her palms. she keeps her head tilted as she replies, “why weird?” you bite your lip to try and hide the smile that wants to form. for some reason, it feels disloyal to megan to meet another girl like this. even if this is what she wanted, for you, it feels different.
huh yunjin could be your real soulmate. the way she looks at you reminds you of that night you met megan.
the memory makes you dig your nails into the back of your hands. your eyes narrow slightly, and yunjin notices, reaching out to place her hand on top of yours. you almost slip your hands away on instinct, but her touch doesn’t burn like you thought it would. you bite your lip and stare at your hands, silently pleading with your heart to stop beating so fast.
yunjin squeezes your clasped hands gently, rubbing her thumb against the crescent-shaped scars that will soon form on your skin. “you can be honest, i’m a good listener…” she pauses suddenly, letting out a shaky laugh. “well. my friends tell me i’m a yapper, but i can also be a really good listener, honest!”
you laugh at her words– a genuine, loud laugh. for the first time since your breakup with megan, it feels a bit easier to breathe. you shake your head and look up at yunjin, your expression turning serious. “can i be real?” you ask shakily. yunjin nods quickly, squeezing your hands again.
you nod and take a deep breath. your throat feels tight as you force the words to leave your lips, “i already met… my soulmate.”
yunjin widens her eyes in surprise. you feel her remove the hand that sat on top of yours, but you quickly react, grabbing onto it before she can take it back completely. you furrow your brows at her before looking down at her arm, carefully turning it to reveal the “yes?” on her forearm.
the sight of it makes your breath hitch as if it hits you all over again. “but. she broke up with me… and now i’m just really confused.” you tilt your head, keeping your eyes on the birthmark. tears spring to your eyes as you continue, “and now i’m even more confused because, how am i going through this the second time?”
the grip on yunjin’s hand tightens– not painfully, but tight enough to make sure that she’s real. you tear your gaze away from her arm to look at her face. she looks at you tentatively, her complete and undivided attention on you.
you look at each other in silence, unsure of what to say next. you can’t help but feel bad for the redhead, knowing she came into this expecting a happily ever after. but as fate would have it, of course, it wouldn’t be that simple.
it’s such a shame they would do this to someone who seemed as sweet as yunjin. even if she did steal your seat at the beginning of the semester, you’re here now, supposedly soulmates.
yunjin then holds onto your hand, her grip loose yet firm at the same time. the twinkle in her eyes comes back as she looks at you and says, “we can figure it out together, then.”
her warm tone ignites something in you. you stare at yunjin, her brown eyes containing a safe space for you to jump into. it’s right there in front of you, and there’s nothing that could stop you from making that leap.
it’s been four months without megan. but you continue holding yunjin’s hand and nod.
without even realizing it, you start to familiarize yourself with the freckles on her cheeks. the small mole on her nose.
maybe there’s an entire universe in her eyes, waiting patiently to be discovered.
when you arrive at the party with keeho, you don’t know what to expect.
keeho told you that megan would be here, and that was enough for you to pull away from the conversation, not wanting to put yourself through more emotional trauma. it was already enough to lose your soulmate once, but then finding someone else who could actually be the one has sent you down a deep, never-ending spiral.
nonetheless, you decided to man up last minute, throwing together an outfit for the occasion and texting keeho to come pick you up, now.
but now, you are back in the house where you first met megan, and you can’t help but regret your decisions all over again.
keeho notices the sullen look in your eyes and pats you on the back, smiling reassuringly. “i’ll stick by you all night, don’t worry. i’ll fight her, if anything.”
that gets a laugh out of you. you look at your friend with amusement in your eyes. “please don’t fight my ex.”
“she might not even be your soulmate, so i think i have every right to do it,” he scoffs, and the reminder causes you to wince. even if he is right, it still hurts to think about.
as you continue navigating the party with keeho by your side, you feel it becoming easier to feel looser. albeit it’s definitely due to the alcohol you’ve been consuming, you start to feel lighter, maybe even a little happier.
at some point, you found yourself in a conversation with keeho and one of his friends from his internship. you listen tentatively to one of their stories from the summer time, an amused gleam in your eyes as you take another sip from your cup.
and then, ‘gnarly’ begins to play loudly over the speakers.
you down your drink completely before looking at keeho, who is already giving you a knowing look. your lips form a straight line when you hear familiar laughter coming from behind you. it’s a mixture of megan’s laugh along with her other members’. they must have decided to take their escapades to the dance floor, which makes sense— it’s their song, for god’s sake.
you know you should move somewhere else. for your sanity, it’s a good decision. but sometimes when you drink, you don’t usually pick what’s best for you.
so, that’s why you turn around instead. the urge to see megan again in real life consumes you. it’s been a very long six months without her, and even if you’re only able to catch a glimpse of your ex, you’d like to think it would be enough.
you watch as she dances with her friends. unashamed, so full of life. the sight of her happy and well brings a bittersweet smile to your face. for months, you had been wanting a sign that she missed you. you’d look closely at her pictures on instagram, the photos posted by fans, just to see if she wears the bracelet you gave her. maybe the matching necklace.
but it’s nowhere to be found, most likely collecting dust in her jewelry box.
you continue to stare at megan, getting lost in a sea of memories inside your head. it plays like a montage: megan pulling you onto the dance floor, megan picking random flowers and sticking them behind your ear, megan stealing your hoodies, megan looking at you as if you were everything she ever needed in this world.
you blink a few times, the tears in your eyes threatening to fall as the tape in your head continues to roll back. you feel keeho place a hand on your shoulder, but you stay where you are, eyes locked on megan.
but then, she spots you across the room, and your breath hitches.
you lie with megan on the couch, her back against you as she plays a round of mario kart with yoonchae and sophia. your girlfriend has a competitive spirit that you’ve always found amusing, especially with the other girls. you watch her take first place, and you take it as an opportunity to poke her sides, jabbing your fingers into the spots you know are her most ticklish.
she squeals loudly and tries to jump away from your touch. however, you wrap your arms around megan, pulling her back against you. “y/n! look! now i’m in 6th place, what the fuck!” yoonchae giggles at megan’s reaction, and sophia only shakes her head, keeping her focus on the screen.
lara watches you two in amusement from the loveseat. megan continues to try to wriggle out of your arms, but it’s no use; you intend to never let the girl go, no matter what.
“you guys are so lucky, you know?” the indian girl sighs dreamily, her eyes returning to the tv as the game continues. “you met each other so young… like, i don’t think my parents met until their late 20s.”
daniela sits on the floor in front of lara and looks up at her, nodding frantically, popping a chip into her mouth. “mine too!” she says behind her hand as she chews. the latina looks at you and megan with a gleam in her eyes. “and it happened so like… what’s the word?”
lara chimes in, taking a glance at daniela before looking back at the tv. “organically?”
“yeah! that one.” daniela confirms, looking at the tv just in time to see sophia get hit with a blue shell, allowing yoonchae to take first place. the latina laughs loudly when sophia lets out an aggravated groan.
manon snatches a chip from the bowl on daniela’s lap and quickly puts it in her mouth before the girl can notice. she turns her head to you and megan to make it seem like nothing happened. “i can’t wait to meet my soulmate. we’re gonna be just as disgusting as you guys.” she says while she’s chewing.
daniels scoffs and looks at manon with a raised brow. “i can’t even imagine how your love story is gonna go,” she points at manon’s arm and lets out a giggle. “no offense, but can you guys keep it down?” like, excuse me?”
“and they probably said what they had to say!” manon exclaims, rolling her eyes playfully at her best friend. the exchanges between everyone make you smile, happy that they’ve welcomed you into their tight-knit family.
you lean forward and press a quick kiss to megan’s cheek. “we feel really lucky.” you announce, resting your chin on her shoulder as you continue watching the round.
but what you don’t notice is the uncertainty in megan’s eyes. the smile on her face doesn’t reach her eyes. you comment that megan is now in last place, but unbeknownst to you, she sits deep in thought over the words of her members. she can’t help but wonder if there’s more to life than what she shares with you.
it feels like one of those movies. the ones where the main character meets eyes with their love interest, and in that moment, they just know, it was always meant to be. the love interest was always right there in front of them, this entire time.
you continue looking at each other, eyes locked in a staring contest. it’s as if you both wait to see who would look away first, who would give up.
surprisingly, you tear your gaze away before she does, walking with keeho to another part of the house. you don’t look back as you follow him toward the kitchen. a part of you screams to look, to check if she’s still there with her eyes on you. the feeling reminds you of a story you read in your mythology class.
“to love someone is to look back, despite the risk.”
you excuse yourself from keeho as you step inside the kitchen, telling him you needed a breath of fresh air.
your legs guide you outside to the back patio. the breeze kisses your skin as you close the sliding door, and a slight chuckle escapes your lips as you remember the last time you were out here. it was warmer, and you had nothing to lose.
you sit in the patio chair, and a sense of déjà vu overcomes you as you stare up at the sky. there aren’t as many stars as last time, and you allow them to be as they are.
suddenly, the sliding door opens, the obnoxious squeak snapping you out of your daze. you turn around and see megan standing there, a sheepish smile on her lips. your throat tightens at the words that come out of her mouth: “you looked lonely over here.”
you turn away, your cheeks flush as you hear her walk closer to you. she sits in the chair next to you, and you clasp your hands together tightly in your lap as you avoid her eyes on you.
she speaks up again, her tone lighthearted. “you look like you’ve been doing okay. is school still beating you to death?” megan laughs through her words, but you only force a smile in response, your eyes still in your lap. you’re unsure on what to say, on how to feel.
it has always been easy with megan, but after your discovery two months ago, you aren’t entirely sure how to move forward with your ex.
from the corner of your eyes, you notice how she looks down at her drink and swirls the liquid in the cup around. “our comeback has been so crazy! but, we’ve been getting so much love for it and i’ve been so-”
“i met someone,” you suddenly blurt out, picking your head up to look at her, finally. megan looks up at you, her brown eyes wide at the sudden interruption. she opens her mouth but closes it, her lips forming a thin line. you watch as she puts her empty cup down on the side table next to her, and you notice how her hand shakes.
when she looks back at you, she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. it’s fake and deceiving, unlike all the videos that have been trending all over social media that portray her happiness. the pictures you’ve seen of her have her smiling, laughing, and, most importantly, enjoying her life.
that’s what she wanted, to be free. to live in her 20s without a weight on her shoulders.
and against your wishes, you allowed it. it’s because you love her. it’s because, despite everything, there was a chance she’d come back.
megan clears her throat and leans against the chair. “that’s good. i mean, emily was telling me how it’s actually really healthy to date other people for a little bit before meeting your soulmate– i mean, i know we met, but i just think we’re so young and we have the rest of our lives to–”
“megan.” you cut her off again, avoiding her eyes. you sigh deeply, looking up at the stars again, silently begging them for a sign. “i met someone and she… the first words she ever said to me are the ones on my arm…” you say quietly, turning your head to look at your ex.
a flash of hurt crosses her eyes. her bottom lip trembles as she replies, “that’s not possible, y/n.”
but you ignore her claim, continuing, “and my first word to her is on her arm.” you watch as the brunette crosses her arms over her chest and narrows her eyes at you.
“i don’t believe you.” she breathes out, a shakiness in her voice. Your heart breaks at the way she looks at you. the vulnerability in her eyes was exposed, despite her attempts to guard herself. she shakes her head and scoffs. “if you’re fucking with me right now, i’ll seriously lose my shit.”
there’s bite to her words, but there’s not enough fight in you to feed it. you just look down at your hands with a bitter smile. “why would i lie, megan?” you bite your lip before sighing in defeat. “i don’t have a reason to.”
megan suddenly stands to her feet. the action surprises you, causing you to look up at the girl. she looks at you with tears in her eyes, brows furrowed in disbelief. “but we’re soulmates. we already figured that out!” she shouts, the volume of her voice making you jump in your seat.
you stand up as well, driven by your emotions. “but what if we were wrong? what if it actually isn’t us?” you say breathlessly. megan shakes her head frantically and grabs your arms. her grip is especially tight on the arm that contains the words that supposedly belonged to her. she looks up at you, her eyes shining under the moonlight.
megan’s lip trembles as she speaks, “no, no. don’t say that…” she reaches up, cupping your cheek with her hand. her thumb grazes your skin gently as if she were familiarizing herself with the feeling against her fingertips. “don’t say that. it’s not true…”
you place your hand on top of hers and squeeze it gently, leaning into her touch. you look at her with surrender in your eyes, silently telling her that you’ve given up. slowly, you remove her hand from your face, and you notice the panic starting to settle in her expression. “megan…” you whisper but she doesn’t let you finish.
“fuck what i said a few months ago, okay?” she pleads, her hands waving around wildly before grabbing her hair in frustration. “fuck everything i said. i don’t care about any of that shit, i don’t. i–” she chokes on her words, tears streaming down her face as she looks at you in desperation. “it’s you. okay? it’s always going to be you, and i know it is.”
you turn your head away from megan and take a step back, not wanting to continue listening to her words. however, she reaches up again and cups your cheeks, turning your head back toward her. you want to cry, but there’s no more tears to shed. you’ve fought this battle for six months.
and then it dawns on you. six months.
“i want to be with you. now and forever, okay? it’s us…” megan whispers, her voice breaking as she rests her head against your chest. her hands move down to your arms, and you feel her fingertips trace the letters on your skin.
you wrap your arms around megan, pulling her closer. your chin rests on top of her head as you whisper, “it would’ve been a year together by now.”
you wonder if the universe is listening. you wonder if they planned this all along.
“i love you, y/n,” she whispers into your chest. megan holds you tightly, and you can feel her tears staining through your shirt. she holds you as if you’d disappear, as if this would be the last time she’d ever be able to. “i love you so much. i know it’s you.” she pulls away slightly to look at you.
you wonder if there’s a life where you don’t have to miss megan. maybe somewhere, you don’t have to wrap your arms around a memory you called home.
“i’m glad you get to live your life.” you tilt your head, a strained smile on your lips as you look back at her. there’s a warmth in her eyes. a glimmer of hope.
but as the planets align, as the stars watch your every move, and as your birthmark continues to burn on your skin, there’s one thing you do know: love is enough.
“continue doing it, without me, okay?”
and if it’s meant to be, megan would still be at the airport, waiting for you to come home.
an: soulmate au reuploaded are we excited for this series to make a comeback friends <3 also sorry again for lit disappearing again i gen couldn't believe how wrecked my life was becoming but! lmk what u all think if this is ur first time reading! and if it isn't, i hope u loved it just as much as u did the first time rahhh - rylee
i hate that people are talking abt how their stage presence have gone bad now that manon is missing. like bffr i aint seeing allat when she was out sick during tour or summer sonic??
like god forbid megan takes her place because shes an ALL rounder.
anyways ot6 forever but dont and never be hating on the other girls because you’re overly mad that manon is on a break.
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