One Day at a Time

Just a small town girl, Living in a lonely world.

[swirlingblueskies]

Most days I know I deserve better, but now I've just taken to distracting myself with book after book.

[swirlingblueskies]

Too damn good to keep feeling sad.

[swirlingblueskies]

Hurt, again.

And the saddest thing is I know that I’m worth so much more.

My heart just needs to catch up to my brain.

[swirlingblueskies]

Strangers again

[swirlingblueskies]

In a way I just wanted to claim NYC as mine to return to.

And I guess it’d be weird for me to not feel anything at all.

But I’m happy with the way things are now.

[swirlingblueskies]

I regret some things.

[swirlingblueskies]

I stopped trying so much this whole past month and on one hand I'll probably panic in a few weeks, but on the other hand it feels great to have stopped caring about some things and some people.

[wordsnquotes]

Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind and emotions.

Will Smith (via wordsnquotes)

[swirlingblueskies]

There's enough good people in my life that I should just stop trying to salvage some other friendships.

And you wonder why I don't tell you things.

[swirlingblueskies]

The days you remember the people you love most have been right there all along.

[swirlingblueskies]

In a way I just feel betrayed. I realized I didn't understand it so much in the moment, but that was the part that ended up hurting most.

Like there just wasn't even enough trust in our friendship.

And I deserve better.

One nice part about coming back is that I've been able to surround myself with a good deal of wonderful and fun people.

And having someone else there to chat with a bit every day has kept me from sinking many times, for which I'm really grateful.

Moving on, slowly but surely.

[swirlingblueskies]

Once in a while it all comes back, and I become really annoyed at how vulnerable I can be.

But I suppose it takes more than a few weeks without the help of an undo button.

Do better.

[swirlingblueskies]

Time to pack up all the memories, associate them with this beautiful city, and put them away on a shelf for you to come back to at a later time.

[swirlingblueskies]

“I just don’t know how to say good-bye to him.” “Maybe you could close your eyes…And remember everything good.”

[swirlingblueskies]

Trying so hard to live in each moment.

[swirlingblueskies]

I walked and ran nearly 20 miles in 2 days trying to get my brain to focus on any other pain.

Maybe I cursed myself telling myself to give 100% for once, to stop running away.

But this is also exactly why I don’t give 100%.

Because last time, I did, years ago, I thought I would break.

And maybe part of me did.

And I swore I would never be that weak again.

Get it together.

[swirlingblueskies]

When you've been complaining to some people about how one person doesn't do work for group projects then find out those people don't work well in group work either and spend the next hour questioning life and perspectives.