In high school I took a summer precalc class so I could get into AP calc early
After the final, I got a call from the teacher saying that I didn’t have to come in for the last class for test corrections because I only got one question wrong because I transposed a number or something silly like that
I slept in the next morning. woke up to a text from my friend that said “we had so much fun without you” because it turned out the last class was basically just a party with free doughnuts
Boring tired disclaimer: Keep in mind that this is an introductory "drawing" "tutorial" and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. Which happens to be true for everything in general. Links below so that you can research and do a nuance. Ones that were directly mentioned are bolded.
Writing a blind character 101
What to avoid etc
Video on types of white canes
Video on types of cane tips
Some more explanation on white canes + tips + other stuff
Guide animals
Video on working with a guide dog
↑ if you're doing a non-dog non-horse animal please still perceive those two links. A guide animal is not a GPS that tells you "left" or "right" (in fact, you're the one telling it which direction you want to go). So before giving them something weird check if it actually makes sense. You can make a fantasy animal that still makes sense I promise 🦮👍
But why are Magical White Eyes a problem
Same as above
Going blind from an accident
Video on conformers
World's most basic "what do you call someone with albinism"
The blindfold thing. No people don't wear these.
This mostly stupid trope of covering a blind character's eyes because lord forbid someone sees a disabled body part
This just stupid trope of giving a blind character some bs superpower to "see"
The echolocation thing that every other blind oc does for some reason
Just give them a cane good lord if you want a character that can see perfectly then maybe don't make them blind
Bonus: if your character has a bunch of scars or whatever else then congrats! You made a character with a facial difference. Which is also something you should research.
by the way it's fine to like sexual content just for the sake of it. "we can't ban porn because other stuff will get banned" "sometimes nude art has value" "the government will classify queer people as sexual" this is all true but it's okay to just like porn. its okay to not want porn to be banned because you like it.
1. The nsfw purge destroyed so many blogs I enjoyed (art, gore, porn, personal blogs alike)
2. Most of my mutuals left after said purge
3. Because the void I was yelling to, wasn’t actually a void.
On that last point, the handful of mutuals I have left know I was a 3am depression rant type of poster.
I’ve always been someone who tries to be open about their struggles. Because I need an outlet, and because in being open I have found so so so many people who needed to talk. I want normalize being honest about our real lives and emotions so that other people can speak too. If the most important things I’ve ever done, was acting as the first person that some people felt comfortable enough to talk to about their problems.
Being honest is a vulnerable position. I don’t think I need to assign any positive or negative morality to it; I can be as selfish as I can try to be good to others. It’s just vulnerability. And when you experience your vulnerability leading to 32 emails from a stranger who’s angry you’re not letting them save you from yourself, or an ex crawling out of the woodwork to reveal they’ve been watching you for years, or worst of all, someone who was clearly once close ranting about how you’re the worst person they ever met, it’s uncomfortable.
I never posted the anonymous messages from the last person because I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of a reply. I didn’t want to argue or whatever. I’m ~80% confident that I know who sent them because of the timing and the fact we’ve never spoken to eachother since. And if I’m honest, it wasn’t a loss.
And if I’m really honest, I think they’re an ignorant hypocrite that was just lashing out because they didn’t get what they wanted from me. I’d be more than happy to tell them why or to have worked with them if they actually talked to me. That’s the thing about people who avoid confrontation; it’s just cowardice and half the time they end up building resentment or doing something awful just so they don’t have to have a direct conversation.
And you know what? Fuck that.
I liked this space. I liked my little vent sessions here precisely because it’s a place that no one should feel obligated to reply, and because I don’t have to carefully select which people in my life might have to bear witness, and it’s not a space that I feel that I’m even capable of dominating.
So I’m here
I’m going to express myself in this space because it’s mine.
Fuck off 💖💕
I am mentally ill. I have c-ptsd and life long chronic depression and officially now, adhd. My entire life has been about shame and pain. I have spent that time learning how to force myself to get through the day. That’s despite how I struggle to get out of bed, or how I struggle to participate in capitalism, but have never had the choice to relax. I struggle to do things I enjoy for reasons I do and do not understand. I struggle with my sense of reality. I can’t remember the last time i had a full day without wishing I could just not exist. I do not have a core sense of safety that I can access. It’s hard for me to differentiate what I need to force myself to do and what is detrimental to me and where I should have a boundary. I don’t completely understand how to even have a boundary or fully what that means because I’ve been forced to be flexible for other people’s needs and emotions and whatever it is I need to do for money and survival. I’ve been on the precipice of burn out what feels like my entire life but I am no allowed to stop no matter how much it feels like my legs are going to give out under me. My fears are real and I have watched them be realized and I am wary of those on the horizon. I still think about my old vice. I want to bury myself in my sad little fictions and I have had to watch my outlet become entangled with feelings of loneliness, abandonment, shame, more shame.
And fuck off, if I need to talk about it. Then I’m going to talk about it.
I don’t need to try to counterbalance all of it by telling you all the things I achieved. I don’t need to prove to my ability to support others’ feelings to be allowed to have my own. I don’t need to hide.
I am a person with feelings, and I’m going to feel them.
