— light & shadow —

— Synethiira Nightfrost — The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim centric multifandom OC est. 9/11/19 | written by adelle/adrian mutuals only | slow activity

[dalathin]

// an important request

// Hey loves! 

This request is also a bit of an announcement, all of a very personal and sensitive nature. Please be advised that this post contains the topic of gender identity, so if this makes you uncomfortable/is triggering, please use caution.

The very short version of is that I’ve been struggling my whole life with my gender identity, and it’s become very prevalent in recent years. This has led me to finally stop repressing it, and to start working with my therapist on the topic. Today, we decided that we’d take action in the form of some baby steps forward. I have never actively identified as male to the rest of the world before, so we wanted to ‘test the water’, so to speak, and see how doing so makes me feel. 

Sooo… Going forward, please feel free to use he/him in regards to me, in addition to she/her. Either is completely fine, as at the moment I’m not sure I have a preference. This also applies to names: please feel free to refer to me as Adrian in addition to Adelle.

I really appreciate any and all support and understanding with this topic. Thank you all for reading this! 💗

[synethiira-blog]

// Gather ‘round, one and all! Synethiira is open for plotting of all kinds! Fluff, drama, pre-established, or something new and shiny — all kinds of plots and ideas are welcome!

If you’re interested, please feel free to IM me, or like this post and I will contact you! I look forward to plotting with you!

[quotemadness]

I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.

Haruki Murakami (via quotemadness)

[ofhotheads-blog]

Send my muse “👀 + a question” and they’ll have to answer with 100% honesty.

No deleting questions, either!

[synethiira-blog]

— Niveyniia ( I decided to make Syn’s daughter as she is when she’s older. She’s probably only 19-20 here, but! Still older than 13! ((also yes the armor is ridiculous, shh it’s cute)) )

[synethiira-blog]

“I have no idea what you’re referring to.” { from Tor \o }

@lyinginwait | sentence starters | accepting

“Only that you are not from here, same as me.” Syn’s smile was small but friendly. Somewhere in his head, he knew an ‘introduction’ that involved bumping into someone and then guessing their origin was probably rude. He didn’t mean it to be so, of course, but being straightforward had often served him better in such situations than honeyed words.

“I mean no offense,” he tacked on, if only for posterity’s sake. “And I apologize for bumping into you. I was aiming for an empty seat, and there are more over here. Hence my assumption.”

He tilted his head to the side inquisitively, trying to aim his unfocused eyes at where he hoped the individual’s face was. “Do you mind if I take a seat here?”

[thyfate-a]

" i  am  champion ,   eternally  so . " #thyfate     championed   by   lorn .

[orsinivm]

Hjaalmarch redux

[quotemadness]

There is a language older by far and deeper than words. It is the language of bodies, of body on body, wind on snow, rain on trees, wave on stone. It is the language of dream, gesture, symbol, memory. We have forgotten this language. We do not even remember that it exists.

Derrick Jensen (via quotemadness)

[justmorerpmemes]

Hmm... Starters

“Well that’s an interesting predicament…”

“How did you get yourself there?”

“Care to share how you wound up in this situation?”

“I don’t want to talk about how or why I’m here, just help.”

“You have a thoughtful look on your face.”

“You’re looking a little spacey.”

“I could elaborate, but I won’t.”

“Can you explain this to me one more time?”

“I have questions, and I doubt you have answers to them.”

“I don’t think any amount of explanation is going to save whatever headache this is giving me.”

“I don’t need to explain anything.”

“I could tell you what happened, but you will not believe me.”

“I would like to claim plausible deniability.”

“Nothing you say is going to make this any better.”

“I put a lot of thought into this.”

“I didn’t think this through.”

“I thought about this a lot and it still came out like this.”

“Sometimes I just need a quiet place to think.”

“You really thought this all out?”

“It’s difficult to have a spare moment to myself these days.”

“You look suspicious.”

“I have no idea what you’re referring to.”

“Do you just stare while you think?”

“You have a thoughtful look about you, something up?”

“Hmm… oh what? Sorry, it’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

[quotemadness]

We do not know why we love a person; we love for no reason. One cannot love a man for his merits; and in this respect love is like grace which is given freely, no for merits, for nothing. Love is a gracious radiating energy.

Nikolai Berdyaev (via quotemadness)

[synethiira-blog]

— synethiira ( I call this one ‘he’s not nearly as smug as he looks I swear’)

[synethiira-blog]

// I may slow down a bit for the evening as I’m probably going to go, uh... play Skyrim... and take.... more.... screenshots.... ahem.

As always, IMs are open, and Discord is available to mutuals. Also, plot with me. 😘

(Also also, thank you to everyone again who has followed and interacted! I’m so thrilled with how welcoming you guys have been, and I’m super grateful! 💗💗 )

[quotemadness]

Silence, I discover, is something you can actually hear.

Haruki Murakami (via quotemadness)

[orsinivm]

Hjaalmarch

[synethiira-blog]

luckydxy‌:

The Imperial simply mutters something incoherent to herself ; bogging herself down even further with a few labored, squelching, useless, steps in a bid to meet him at a more convenient point.  However ; this entire scenario was less than convenient.  Ara sulks miserably as she simply sinks down another few inches.  The mud seeping into her boots in a most distasteful sensation & clinging heavy in patches on her hood, which, she ultimately, lugs off of her shoulders && tosses to a nearby boulder with a grunt.  Her bow &&& quiver following shortly after with a slight clatter to the left for later retrieval.  By the time he reaches her Ara is stood with her hands eagerly outstretched, quick to grasp his own with particular haste.

“Please don’t drop me – please, please, don’t drop me.” She mewls pitifully, “I’ll drag you down with me, I swear it.”  Her threats are weak, childish, dramatics that continue to chime up to his ear as she clutches his hands for all she is worth.  Lunging, suddenly, with one hand to grab one of his forearms for better leverage. “Almost there — I think I can get a footing.”

Syn's head perked in the direction of the clatter when she tossed her weapons, senses acute as he updated his mental map of the area. It would not do to lug her free and then trip over a bow, after all. Assuming she did not just shove him in afterward anyway, given the way her continued threats seemed to be making him smile.

"I promise, I will not drop you." His fingers gripped her firmly when he felt her touch, holding her secure and snaking his hands up from forearm to her biceps the further free their efforts pulled her. Upon her words, he took as far a step back on his rocky perch as he safely could, hoping to give her as much room as possible to find footing.

"I think... just a little more..." He said quietly, giving a deceptively strong tug towards himself. The loud, wet sound of the mud finally releasing her confirmed his assessment.

"There we go," he said pleasantly, making a point not to let her go in the hope of providing steadiness, should she need it. "Sweet freedom."

[synethiira-blog]

— headcanon +1

{ synethiira’s blindness - history & impact }

Syn was shipwrecked on the shores of Valenwood at 8 years old when traveling with his parents back home from one of their mercantile trips. The wreck was spectacular, a result of severe weather that caused heavy losses - including both of Synethiira's parents: his mother, Cirwyndra, did not survive the waves, and his father, Allorim, bled to death after managing to drag his wife's body and his son to the shore. At that time, there was no telling if there had been other survivors.

Syn was a child alone on an unfamiliar beach, in a storm, injured, surrounded only by wreckage and his parent's battered bodies, not understanding why he couldn't 'wake them up.' To say the least, he was heavily emotionally compromised and terrified. And, being that he'd always been something of a magical anomaly, even at that age, a prime target for bored, meddlesome powers.

While the young boy sat in the sand crying, the Woodland Man — the Bosmeri name for Hermaeus Mora — appeared to him. However, the extra fear incited by the Daedra's appearance was tempered by what he had to say: Hermaeus Mora told the child he could give him the knowledge to 'bring back' his parents, in exchange for 'how he sees the world.' Synethiira, desperate and unknowing, agreed.

He was then presented with one of Hermaeus Mora's Black Books and, upon opening it, Syn was assaulted by knowledge of necromancy. Additionally, he noticed immediately that the world seemed to be slowly losing color. Overwhelmed, and frankly lucky he was not driven mad by the onslaught, Synethiira then made the attempt to raise his parents. Being only 8 years of age, it understandably did not go well.

He did successfully raise them; however, they were nothing but mindlessly aggressive walking corpses who, after enough time to stir and stand, attacked their son. Syn ran, not understanding why his parents were trying to hurt him, nor why the color of the world around him was literally draining away.

Luckily for the young boy, he ran straight into a pocket of other survivors, who were able to cut down his undead parents and affectively save his life. While they questioned him on what happened, the child was hysterical and not much could be made of his sobbing. In the end, the survivors took him in, helping him make it back to the nearest settlement with them.

From there, it took five additional days before his vision finally faded away fully. One more for the world to become entirely greyscale, the two following for all the details to drain away, and the final two for light and shadow to dissolve into nothing but a vast blackness. The only remaining 'sight' he has is the ability to see magical auras as a sort of 'light' in the darkness - a side effect to the magic used to blind him.

Over time and through necessity, given his childhood from then on was spent as an orphan, Synethiira worked on the development of spells to assist with his blindness. Eventually, he was able to come up with a kind of restorative magic that allowed him to see a certain degree of light and shadow again - enough so to give him back autonomy, though it took years of adjusting to.

But a Daedric Prince's deal is not so easily thwarted. This little helper spell of his is only effective if he is actively maintaining it, leading to a significant drain of Mana. This prompted a serious investment in learning enchantment. One that paid off, as he was successfully able to enchant the spell into a ring he always wears. Should it be taken off him, however, he is back to square one.

Despite all, Synethiira is mostly at peace with his blindness - he does not even harbor any resentment to Hermaeus Mora for the deal. He has adjusted to it well, maintaining his autonomy and overcoming what obstacles crop up as he moves forward. In fact, at this point in his life, it is not uncommon for people to not realize he is blind when first meeting him.

This is not to say his disability does not affect him at all, though, or affect his interactions with other people. Every day is a new struggle and a new set of obstacles - especially for one who enjoys traveling so frequently. It is not uncommon for him to be swindled in some way after having to ask a stranger for assistance. Additionally, he's found people are often made uncomfortable by his difficulty looking other's in the face when interacting, his eyes always being unfocused or appearing to 'look through' things, the faint glow they have, or his tendency not to look at things at all. All of this absolutely has an emotional impact on him, in addition to lingering melancholy regarding being unable to see the people he loves (such as his daughter).

Regardless, he pushes through with a smile, and no one can ever claim Synethiira Nightfrost is not a fully determined man.