-- windedArabesque [WA] began pestering synthonicPlumage [SP] at 21:53 --
WA: dove...!
WA: we need...! to talk...!
SP: yea ok
WA: can we...? do it in person...?
SP: yea
SP: if u want
WA: i do...! want that...!
WA: my block...? or yours...?
SP: idk if i should leave
SP: im kinda
SP: in trubble here
SP: srry
WA: right...! i can go to yours...!
SP: ok
ANANYA: -and so she does. and she's actually using the skates ruleus made her that don't require her to exert herself at all, only for the sake of getting to dove's faster. and she knocks-
DOVE: *she takes a few seconds to open the door. she doesn't really want to see Ananya right now, for all the shit that happened earlier, and the thought makes her nervous. but she's gotta. so she opens up.*
ANANYA: -she sighs and nods at dove- hi...!
DOVE: hey
DOVE: ... *shuffles slowly out of the way*
ANANYA: -walks on in-
ANANYA: -rolls? idk how these things work-
DOVE: *shuts the door*
DOVE: ...
DOVE: *just stands there*
ANANYA: can i uh...? sit somewhere...?
DOVE: yea
DOVE: go ahead
ANANYA: -sits on her bed-
ANANYA: dove...! i'm sorry...!
DOVE: wat
ANANYA: for doing...! what i did...! with sileas...!
ANANYA: so soon...! after us...!
DOVE: ... i
DOVE: *Man. She can't look at her. She doesn't want to talk about this.*
DOVE: *She rests her face in a hand, taking in a breath.* fuck
ANANYA: -she appears distraught about all of this- i am...! more responsible...! for this...! than sileas...!
ANANYA: i wanted...! to stop hurting...! for a little while...!
DOVE: *jesus. she doesn't know how to deal with this.*
DOVE: and thats y he shouldnt have fukkin done it
DOVE: thats not how u help ppl
DOVE: ananya that aint
DOVE: u don fuckin
DOVE: *god damn it, she doesn't want to cry like this, in front of her. she shuts up with her hand still plastered over her face, muffling a gasp into her palm.*
ANANYA: it was...! my bad choice...! dove...! -great, now she's going to cry-
DOVE: i
DOVE: *fuck, she can't help it, all this shit welling up in her chest right now, and it feels like she's going to explode if she doesn't say anything*
DOVE: i couldnt even fucking dream of doin that to you
DOVE: do u have any idea how much i cant even fucking
DOVE: fathom
DOVE: bein with anyone else
DOVE: i cant stop
DOVE: fuckin thinkin about you
DOVE: i aint stopped for fuckin ever
DOVE: and its the most stupid fuckin shit
DOVE: i still dont even wanna think about anybody else
DOVE: even tho i know good and goddamn well this shit is over
DOVE: and theres
DOVE: nothin
DOVE: to stick around for and my dum ass
DOVE: just cant
DOVE: i cant
DOVE: *she's sort of staggered back to lean against her wall, both hands over her face now, and she's sniffing hard, even if it's not making her shoulders shake any less*
ANANYA: -there are definite tears now, and ananya gives up on trying to wipe them away or hide the fact that she's crying, too- it...! scares me...! how much...! this hurts...! and i miss...! you so much...!
DOVE: *that doesn't make any of this any easier. if anything, it just aches more.*
DOVE: this is
DOVE: so fuckin stupid
DOVE: i hate this
ANANYA: i don't know...! how to get through this...! dove...!
DOVE: i dont
DOVE: fuckin know
DOVE: i dont even know
ANANYA: did we...? do the wrong thing...?
DOVE: i dont know
DOVE: *this is just so completely awful, and she doesn't know what's supposed to be right, what's supposed to fix this.*
ANANYA: can you...? sit with me...?
DOVE: *she really doesn't want to, but it's also hard to say no. it's always hard to say no to her, and that hasn't changed, no matter how fucking hopeless she is. so she moves numbly, lowering herself to sit next to Ananya.*
ANANYA: -she's grateful she does. when dove sits, she offers her hand-
DOVE: *she's wiping off her face, sniffing again, wiping her teary hands on her blanket. she sees Ananya's offering, and she just stares at it for a moment, and, slowly, she takes her hand. then, she looks up into her face, and she can't look away.*
ANANYA: -she meets her gaze and squeezes her hand, taking in the silence like maybe it's not such a bad thing. dove is so pretty, even when she cries, even with everything falling apart around them. and she feels like she missed out. on so much. like they let go before they even really figured out what to do-
DOVE: *she can't stop looking, and it's all in her head, all these things she wanted, things she never got, and it's all so far away, but it's all right in front of her, too. everything. and it's stupid, she knows it is, but it feels so fucking impossible, and maybe a part of her knows she deserves to be selfish, the thought of that stupid fucking mark like a fire burning out her thoughts. and maybe that's why she does it, why she leans in and kisses Ananya harder than she ever has.*
ANANYA: -it's a surprise when dove's lips meet hers with an amount of adoring aggression she's not used to in the slightest. but in this moment, it's exactly what she wants, and she pulls dove's hand into her, closer. so much closer. it feels so good to reciprocate, to stop their tears with affection instead.-
DOVE: *she knows exactly what she wants, what she's always wanted, and it's impossible to stop herself. not now. her hand is leaving Ananya's just to move to her side, to slip down, both hands wedging themselves underneath Ananya's bottom so she can scoop her up (easily) and deposit her closer to the middle of the bed, and she's leaning her weight into her, pressing her down, and her hand is sliding up under Ananya's shirt, exploring pliant flesh she's always thought about, never known.*
ANANYA: -she feels dove's hands right underneath her and it's all so direct and so fast but she doesn't have a problem with it. no, she's treasuring how it feels to have dove up against her like this, to feel her fingers against her skin. it's not so careful, and she's surprised at how much she's enjoying this. and her arms are coming around dove and pulling her close, encouraging her-
DOVE: *a part of her knows that what Joel said was at least a little bit right, all the bits and pieces of it that make sense, and it's easier to justify not caring right now because of it. she had wanted this for so fucking long, why the hell could someone else take it so easily and she couldn't?? but she could, she can right now, and that spiteful burn in her mind just keeps going as she pushes Ananya's shirt up instead, crumpled just above her chest, and she huffs out a breath onto bare grey skin. she just. needs a second to look, to let this sink in as real, because it's not like she stopped fucking caring, either. but then she dips her head and carefully swipes her tongue over a nipple. increasingly less careful is how she swirls it around next, the hand that isn't keeping Ananya's shirt bunched over her chest slipping under her skirt and stroking back and forth over the soft warmth between her legs.*
ANANYA: -she's gasping at the sensation dove's tongue gives her, at first gentle and then much more rough that she's definitely not used to and it's making her feel so *hot* all of a sudden and this scarf is not WORKING AT ALL. she tears it off a bit frantically because it's just getting in the way now. she tosses it aside and feeling dove's hand between her legs like that is enough to make her shiver. this is all so brand new and it's getting her heart pumping faster than it ever has before. thanks to sileas, she's being more mindful of her breathing patterns during all of this so she can have some semblence of control here-
DOVE: *it's good Ananya's watching, because she's definitely not being as careful as she may have once upon a time. she just wants to make Ananya feel something, everything, everything she's been holding in for way too fucking long, and she wants to know all of it, too. all these parts of Ananya, even more fragile, precious things. she needs to know, if only just once. and so her mouth trails down Ananya's soft belly in a trail of wet kisses, little ticklish flecks of her tongue here and there, and her hand shifts to drape the skirt up over Ananya's stomach instead, nuzzling at the same warmth she had been touching just moments before and shivering at the scent of her, how it makes the tension in her own stomach that much heavier.*
ANANYA: ah...! -it's impossible for her to keep quiet even through her carefully monitored breathing patterns. and she figures it's a good thing for dove, anyway. from her perspective, at least. but the sounds don't stop there the second she can feel dove's face against her crotch and her bulge unsheathing against her underwear. this is honestly the first time she's ever felt her own genitals do this before and the feeling alone makes her eyes widen. a big part of her hopes she doesn't embarrass herself, but an even bigger part wants to keep going-
DOVE: *that little nudge against the fabric is enough to get her to hook her fingers at one inner edge of Ananya's panties, to tug them over to the side and pull them taut so she can have this one opening to greet emerging burgundy with the brush of her tongue.*
ANANYA: -it's driving her crazy how every touch is more exhilirating than the last, and her bulge knows exactly what it wants at the tease of dove's tongue and extends toward her in a way that makes ananya's legs tremble and the inside of her thighs barely touching the sides of dove's head-
DOVE: -the taste of her is new, thrilling, slick and red against her tongue, and it's easy to pull the curious little appendage into her mouth in a brief little suck before she decides she needs to get closer, shifting her hold and dragging Ananya's panties down her hips, leaving them down around the lowest part her calves, just far enough that she can spread her legs and settle between them, two fingers tracing exploratively over a swollen red nook, leaving the pads sticky and stained with color. For now, she's just taking in the view, warm puffs of breathing rolling over the sensitive, exposed flesh before she's merciful enough to at least slide those fingers in, slow and careful, but her mouth stays shut.-
ANANYA: -it's obvious enough dove knows what she's doing here, even if ananya doesn't. the speed at which everything is happening requires an intense concentration on the way her lungs are functioning, but everything dove does gets her head reeling out of control. that suck on her bulge elicits a strained whimper, dove's breath on her nook making her shiver. and the second her fingers explore inside of her, there's an ache she isn't used to mixed with a strong desire, one supported by they fact that ananya's bulge is wrapping around dove's wrist-
DOVE: -there's a funny, slick pressure curling around her wrist, and she can't do anything but grin about it, her fingers sliding out and in again, curling and pressing, and she presses a brief kiss to the needy little muscle before looking up. She's aware of how Ananya is gasping and whimpering, and even with as much as she wants this, she can't ignore it forever. She can't. Despite all of this, she loves her too much.- you ok
DOVE: you need a sec
ANANYA: -there's so much to feel at once, with dove's lips on her bulge and her fingers moving swiftly in and out of her. she isn't expecting for dove to ask her if she's okay, and she's unprepared for the question, much less to respond back.- i'm...! okay...! -it doesn't really matter if she's okay or not, because at this point, she can't go back. she doesn't want to. as if to support her statement, her bulge tightens it's grip around dove's arm and attempts to pull it back toward her-
DOVE: -well, that's confirmation, so her fingers press back in, this time not thrusting so much as they are massaging up, and she's so soft, warm inside. Her other hand is making some attempt to loosen the grip her bulge has around her wrist, to pull it up closer and redirect it back into her mouth while her fingers continue to press and prod, curious if she can, in fact, elicit a similar response to human anatomy.-
ANANYA: -it's apparent that dove can bring about a close response because of the way she sounds and the way she arches her back with each press and prod, and especially when dove manages to find her most sensitive flesh. she can't stay silent and all she can think to do is utter her name breathlessly. her bulge apparently gets the idea and complies with dove's lead-
DOVE: -it's completely fascinating, how her tongue can twine so easily with the squirmy thing like they were meant to find each other, the heady taste of it filling her mouth and sharpening her senses that much more. at some point, she found herself falling into a rhythm that felt natural, pulling the taste deeper and letting it dance where it wanted, fingers shifting back into sliding and plunging, and all she knows is that she wants to see this through, to make a mark worth remembering.-
ANANYA: -this sensory overload feels like it's launched her into another plane of existence entirely. there's so much she can feel right now, so much intricate excitement that pulses through her and the pain of the newness of it all. but her bulge is longing for more of dove, dripping and moving inside of her. the noises form a steady rhythm now, and there's no use holding them back, her breathing is ragged and beyond the point of control right now. her hand drops to dove's head, clutching her hair desperately-
DOVE: -it's become a sort of instinctual thing, now, the way her tongue moves, now and then sucking just because, how she has to pause to swallow now and again just because of how the taste is definitely filling her mouth, but her hand doesn't stop. even as it starts getting a little crampy. this is just what happens when you do this kind of motion long enough, but she'll be damned if she doesn't see this through.-
ANANYA: -and she's felt it climbing, felt the pressure in her bulge building. and for her first time, this is all it has to take, and she knows well enough what's about to come next, with each motion of dove's tongue and fingers making it all the more difficult to hold back. she whimpers, trembling underneath her, and manages to speak- dove...! i think i'm...!
DOVE: -she's already determined to herself that she's not pulling back until she feels it hit her tongue, maybe because she's just that selfish or maybe because she wants to make damn sure she's done it, but at Ananya's exclamation, she's only putting that much more effort into it, pushing faster, twirling her tongue more erratically. neither of them are going to regret this for a fucking second.-
ANANYA: -her chest heaves with so much weight that she can't even keep her eyes open, and with the increased speed and pressure, she can't stop the way she experiences her first orgasm in her nook, in her bulge pouring out sticky maroon right into dove's mouth--and it feels so exhilirating that she has to cry out, louder than she intends or realizes-
DOVE: -it's a mix of so many things -- the sound of Ananya's breaths, the way she cries out, the feeling of her body shaking and squirming and tensing like how her muscles flutter around her fingers, and the taste that bounces off her tongue and her cheek is even stronger, maybe a little too much to swallow, and she pulls her head back some, so much of it just spilling from her lips onto her blanket. she's breathing heavy when she pulls back, too, her hand coming to slow to a stop and just leaving her fingers inside Ananya for as long as it takes the spasms to stop.-
ANANYA: -and the muscles inside her nook tighten around dove's fingers as they've done, only to release and tighten and release and tighten and finally, finally stop. her face is flushed with maroon thanks to the heat and the fleeting embarrassment from coming so hard even if it is completely normal. there's going to be quite a mess here, but she's focusing on trying to calm down, to steady her breathing and stop the inevitable wheezing- oh...! my...! god...!
DOVE: -she can't help it, the smile on her red-stained mouth, and she's still for several more seconds before she finally, slowly extricates her sticky fingers, and she would really like to kiss her or something, but that's probably not appropriate just yet, with all this mess.- you ok
ANANYA: -she's forcing herself to at least partially sit up with the help of her elbows, just to get the oxygen flowing better. and there's something so attractive about the maroon coating on dove's lips that it makes her core burn.- yeah...! i'm...! how did you...? -she looks her over and she's sure this is supposed to be somewhat mutual- aren't you supposed to...? i should probably...! -she just can't talk can she-
DOVE: -she just shrugs a shoulder at that, smiling still. honestly, she couldn't care -- what she really wanted, she already got.- ima get you a towel ok
DOVE: .... us
DOVE: -yeah, she's just as much a mess, let's not kid ourselves here. she's starting to push herself up from the bed-
ANANYA: okay...! -she watches dove covered in her and it's a little overwhelming to function normally right now with everything that just happened. what does it mean, now that this happened between them? what does this change? does it change anything at all? there's a pang of disappointment watching dove pull herself away, because she just wants her to stay here. she doesn't want her to leave to even get a towel, but she has to. they need a towel.- i guess we...! really need one...!
DOVE: -they sure as fuck do, and she wanders into her bathroom, yanking her used one from the rack and proceeding to wipe off her hands, her face. she moves back into the bedroom, then, holding it out to Ananya.-
ANANYA: -she's still catching her breath, but she takes the towel and wipes her legs off, shifting so she can do so easier. she takes this opportunity to also pull her panties back up under her skirt and smile a little bashfully at dove.- um...? what about your bed...?
DOVE: ...fuckin
DOVE: -she reaches over, attacking the red spot with the towel, too, and sort of folding it over itself.- ill deal with it later
DOVE: -and she plans on leaving it at that, because she's already crawling back onto the bed, pulling Ananya into her arms and away from the mess they made.-
ANANYA: -she's still blushing about all of this, but she's relieved when dove takes her in her arms. she can't help but cuddle against her, holding on tightly and unable to stop smiling- i can't believe...! that happened...! -she's aware she's probably sounding like an idiot but she can't NOT talk about it. she glances up to look at her- you were...! so great...!
DOVE: -she's smiling too, even if there's something a little bittersweet about this. but she's not going to think about that right now. not just yet.- was i -yeah. she totally was.-
ANANYA: -she nods eagerly- yeah...! -she reaches up to touch her face gently- really great...!
DOVE: thanks ... -she isn't sure what more to say right now. for the most part, she just. wants to be here. to enjoy this, whatever this is, for however long she can. she already knows it won't stay, and she knows it won't be the same tomorrow. but it is what it is tonight, and she wants at least that much to stay intact.-
ANANYA: -she snuggles against her, happy they could share this together, that they didn't have to be mad or crying and they could just be happy again. she doesn't want to leave for a while--she kind of wants to stay forever-
DOVE: -by the time Dove realized she was conscious again, it was already morning. Somewhere in the haze of waking up to Ananya beside her, through the night, she was beginning to understand how her feelings had settled. It felt like a weight had been lifted, in one way -- she could look at the mark on Ananya's neck from where she lay and acknowledge that the fire in her mind had died, but there was a certain coldness that moved in to take its place. It felt much easier to understand now that she had loved Ananya, but also that she had been in love with so much she had never understood, so much that had been an idea and not reality. The realization and the way it finally nestled into acceptance was sobering, but even so, she couldn't bring herself to feel regret. Instead, she sat up, just thinking on it all and waiting for Ananya to wake.-
ANANYA: -needless to say, ananya was exhausted, and she managed to sleep through the night, waking up to see dove sitting up and becoming acquainted with the reality of the night before. if her memory and surroundings didn't say enough, then the soreness she felt did, and she can't help but feel the warmth in her cheeks just remembering everything that happened. with a yawn, she looks over at dove and speaks tiredly.- dove...?
DOVE: -she hears Ananya waking up, but she doesn't look. not until she says her name.-
DOVE: hey
ANANYA: -she smiles at her- did you sleep...?
DOVE: ye
ANANYA: good...! -pushes herself up to sit- me too...! -she's full of things she wants to say but doesn't know how.- last night...! doesn't feel real...!
DOVE: haha yeah
DOVE: -it was definitely pretty real though-
ANANYA: -her expression fades a little. Why isn't she talking to her? what did she do this time? but maybe it's just dove being dove- so...! -what does she even SAY-
DOVE: ... -scratches at her head. this is. not as easy as it was in theory.-
DOVE: i uh
DOVE: was just thinkin
ANANYA: about...?
DOVE: ... this
ANANYA: oh...! -let's her gaze drift down to the bed before she looks at dove- what...? about it...?
DOVE: ... i think
DOVE: maybe
DOVE: we should be done
ANANYA: -her expression fades completely- ...oh...
DOVE: -she doesn't know what to say now. sorry??? that doesn't seem appropriate.-
DOVE: ... i know you werent wantin to wake up to this probly
DOVE: i just think
DOVE: its probly still
DOVE: the best thing to do
DOVE: rite now
ANANYA: -she nods, clearing her throat and scooting off the bed- it probably is...!
DOVE: -well. this take two kind of sucks, but she's more numb to it this time than she was before.-
DOVE: ... that wasnt nothin though
DOVE: you should know that
DOVE: none of this was
ANANYA: -she's thinking of too many things at once right now. It's hard to believe it wasn't nothing- yeah...! -plants her feet on the ground and stands-
DOVE: -well. she guesses she deserves this, too. what else is there to do?-
ANANYA: thanks...! for having me over...! -heads for the door- i'll see you around...?
DOVE: yea
DOVE: course you will
ANANYA: bye dove...! -and out she goes, hurrying to get out of earshot so she can finally cry her way back to her room-
DOVE: -well. that was. fun. except not.-
