I didn’t want to do it...
I really didn’t… but seeing all the posts full of hate, I just had to.
To begin with: I’m straight but I’m also a big supporter of lgbt+ community. Because everyone deserves the right to be happy. And no one should be judged for their sexuality. I am for marriage rights, children adopting rights etc.
As for shipping - I ship people because I like them together. I like straight pairs, I like gay pairs. It’s not my dirty secret or dirty pleasure or whatever. I’m very open about what I like - my friends know it, my parents know it. They agree or don’t agree with it - it never changed my views or my mind. I recently even quit being friends with one person, because she was very homophobic and used bad words. I tried to explain she can have whetever views but she shouldn’t insult anyone. She didn’t get it so we parted ways. Because I really don’t need hate in my life.
With all the Clalec shippers(I just need to say it tho - I’m really ineterested on what basis was this ship created :D haha :D people are funny :)) and Malec shippers fights, that are all over tumblr, I have to say it.
I BEG YOU JUST STOP.
Straight/lgbt+ people who ship Malec - because this ship is so awsome, I demand a lot from you. I want to believe you’re the best people. I know you are. That’s why I beg you - don’t go there. Don’t spread hate.
Why do you care if some weird people ship Clalec? Why do you hate them for it? Do you hate someone who likes green even tho you like blue? Do you hate soemone because they have black and not white skin? Do you hate someone because they believe in God and you don’t?
You can criticize it all the way you want - it’s a free world. Just don’t spread hate. My heart hurts everytime I look at Malec tag and see people screaming Clalec shippers are homophobic. Because what? They ship a gay guy with a straight girl? Maybe, in some weird, not understandable to us way, they like the characters together. Maybe they don’t dislike the fact Alec is gay.
Yes, there is also an option they do. But in that case, you should be wiser than that. You should stand tall above it, not hate them. Hate is for weak. And you’re - WE ARE NOT WEAK. Let’s show them we won’t get invloved in it.
Some people will probably hate me or block me bcause of that post. Just to let you know - it’s your choice. I, however, refuse to be involved or moved by haters. I write this post not to insult you, just show you, it’s so much better to spread love not hate.
Live and let people live. Do you know that quote? :)
Edit: just to prove my point. I ship one couple from a music band. Two guys. They openly say they’re straight but I like how their characters click so I shipped them. In a not-invasive way (to respect they might be uncomfortable with it). Should I be judged and hated by straight community? Because I erase those people’s sexuality? I just read some fanfics and don’t make trouble for anyone. How would you feel if the tables were turned? P.S. I’m always open to discussion :) if you have any constructive criticism - let’s compare our views with open minds :)
@szanon I see your Sakuraiba there, and would also like to engage in constructive discussion.
I’ve also read replies to this post and your own responses to that. I also read your follow up post after learning more from @panicwasinvolved. I just thought I might add a few things, with a look on your Sakuraiba argument too.
Disclosure: I’m not sure what my sexual orientation is (I haven’t explored it fully…) so I’m not ready to identify with the LGBT+ community. Therefore, please consider that my argument on their behalf is based on what research I’ve conducted and may not fully reflect the thoughts and beliefs of the community. My voice does not have the same weight as theirs. However, I am a poc living in Australia and have a personal understanding about what it is like to be underrepresented and misrepresented in the media, and how this influences how I’m treated in society.
First and foremost, I believe that the Malec shippers should educate the romantic Clalec shippers exactly why that pairing is a problem. After doing research on tumblr about LGBT+ representation (a credible source considering a lot of the posts are primary sources from members of the community), one of the main concerns is media representation. An LGBT+ pairing is not only very rare, but they are also often depicted as pairings with unhappy endings. The justification behind these unhappy endings are usually to serve plot and dramatic effect. Obviously, this is gross injustice because not only are they underrepresented, they are also not allowed to be happy compared to heterosexual couples. And even if you say heterosexual couples also get unhappy endings, their representation is still secured by the very many happy heterosexual pairings in media history. Essentially, the LGBT+ community is made invisible which has wider repercussions on how they are viewed and treated in society. (Or worse, they are used for comedy. I’m afraid I’ll have to touch on this for Sakuraiba later.)
But here, we have Malec: a very happy and a very healthy LGBT+ pairing (especially compared to the books). Finally, the LGBT+ community has a healthy representation of a thriving and beautiful interracial love story between two men, which is also supported by their friends. Therefore, supporting Clalec would be to, once again, bulldoze over those struggles to seek a healthy and happy LGBT+ relationship in the media. Romantic Clalec perpetuates the gross injustices of poor LGBT+ representation by disregarding Alec’s sexuality. It is enforcing those heterosexual representations on an already underrepresented and misrepresented community. It is making what has been made visible, invisible again.
Secondly, as someone who is not a member of the LGBT+ community, you have not been exposed to the same sociocultural obstacles and struggles. For this reason, despite how you actively support the community and how you empathise with their struggles, it does not make you face the same obstacles and struggles they do. And definitely not on a personal level. (For this same reason, I wrote my disclosure above.) Sexuality is part of an identity, something very personal and unique to every person. Good-intentions and empathy is always welcome, but it can only take you too far. It does not allow you to defend romantic Clalec shipping either, not when you haven’t felt the struggles of poor representation as a member of the LGBT+ community.
Lastly, about Sakuraiba. I myself am a big Arashi fan and while I’m fairly new to the fandom (going on one year yeah!), I have already spent hours of my life watching their variety shows and listening to their angelic voices and gushing over Riida’s dancing and Sho’s intelligence and Aiba’s kawaii-ness and Nino’s bratti-ness and MJ’s fabulous diva-ness. I also love the member love for each other; it adds 10 years to my life. In particular, I love Sakuraiba. And, like you, I used to ship them romantically.
I have stopped now. For me, the shipping was morally questionable. Private shipping is not hurting the two but I still feel awful when taking the ship seriously and actually hoping it’s true. This is regardless of their sexual orientation because they are actual people and not characters. So I stopped (and was helped along this when I stumbled into Malec back in December).
But I understand why you ship them together. They have very complementary personalities, they come from very different upbringings and they’re very loving and caring of each other. It reads like a romance. But a lot of what also makes Sakuraiba and the other Arashi member pairings so strong is that they know their fans like it when they’re being very affectionate of each other. I have no doubt they truly love each other. But I’ve realised only very recently that some of the pairing interactions border on that yaoi suggestion. Sometimes it’s used for fanservice (Juntoshi concert intimacy), sometimes it’s a gimmick (Sakuraiba kiss, Ohmiya SK). But each time, to be honest, it’s an insult to the LGBT+ community. Because they are self-proclaimed straight men, who are using yaoi to service their fans and they know it. It’s painful, but it’s true. For this reason, I’m afraid you can’t use Sakuraiba shipping as a reverse to Clalec shipping. Sakuraiba is helped along by the members, by the same gross injustices in Western media. This invalidates your Sakuraiba argument of how a straight community would judge and hate you when Arashi’s fans, the majority of which are also straight, also support member suggestions of yaoi. Not to mention that Japanese media treat the LGBT+ community as a joke.
In saying that, I do love Arashi because they have other good messages about perseverance and friendship. And, as a group, they really do care for each other like a band of brothers- why else would Riida cry in the VSA Hawaii 15th Anniversary SP? But I thoroughly disapprove and dislike it when they take the member-love too far and start to make a joke out of the LGBT+ community.
I’m sorry it was so long, and if you need any clarifications on my argument I’d be happy to make them. :)
Thank you for your awsome message! :) I’m happy you decided to participate in discussion and you shared youre opinions with me. It means a lot to read a long message full explanations. It not only makes me understand how you feel better, it also shows how we differ, even tho we’re all humans.
First of all. About Malec. Already some people here showed me the importance of the ship - of how it is one of the very few LGBT represenations in media. To be honest I rarely get engaged in shipping. I simply lead a very busy life that leaves not much space for watching tv, reading books etc. That’s why my knowledge about various ships is very limited. In that case - I lack it. That is 100% true. I understand now how closly LGBT relate to Malec. Of course I knew it before, but I didn’t know it’s actually one of the very few happy gay couples. I therefore understand why shippers get angry with Clalec. My point was - it’s gonna be there anyway. Homophobes won’t dissappear from the surface of Earth even if we wish for it. Enganing in a discussion on a very low level - like insulting, just gives them unnecessary arguments. Encouraged I researched more on their homophobic posts - and I understood how much damage they bring. That’s why I posted my anti-clalec post. No one can tell people what to ship - it’s a free world. Some ships are more popular, some are wrong. But I don’t think anyone should be the judge od that. It’s okay to criticise, it’s even needed sometimes. Just not calling people names. So many people attacked me for being white and straight. What should or can I do about it? Should I change my sexuality? Should I change the color of my skin. I think not many realise rasism can be directed also towards white poeople - I’m gonna elaborate with Sakuraiba :) You’re right 100% that LGBT+ fight is not my fight and I cannot relate to the subject completely. That’s why now I feel this whole post was a big mistake. I just never did it out of malice. I did it to show people I support that hate is not the only option. But me saying that sounds patronizing. And I see that now - that it can be misunderstood in that way. I just want the world to be free of hate towards anyone. I wish people just accepted themselves and others the way they are. We don’t do that - that’s why we have racism, homophobia and everything. I’m sorry if anyone felt insulted by my post. I’m sorry if anyone felt I’m telling them what to feel. No. I just wish for all of you to be happy, similing people. About sakuraiba. I also stopped shipping them for the same reasons. Now it’s gonna become a personal story but it’s neccessary to explain everything. I became Arashi fan in 2007 so 10 years ago. I had many problems at school. I was bullied because I had good marks and was even beaten once for it. Arashi was my escape. They made me happy and they made me smile. Thanks to them I became interested in Japan and started studying Japanese. I graduated from uni majoring in Japanese and moved to Japan. I started a “grown-up” life and just fell out of the fandom naturally. I have no idea what is going on right now. But before I stopped following the news, I stopped shipping sakuraiba. I decided meddling with people’s lives is just crossing the line. They say they’re straight and might consider being shipped uncomfortable. They’re not fictional characters but people with souls. No one should imagine anything about their private lives. I also agree Japan and the whole “yaoi” buisness sucks. The society is very prejudiced in many things. They call it “fanservice” and do it to gathers the attention of sick Japanese girls who enjoy boys acting gay. It’s disgusting as hell. I generally have a big problem with Japan now on many levels. The racism I have to fight every day at work is very painful. I work with customers and the way they sometimes speak to me is so racist. I was told many times that a stupid foreigner like me shouldn’t be working in Japan. I was fade fun of for my Japanese, for my height, for everything. Japan is a very judgmental country and they love only themselves. I enjoyed it the first time I lived in Japan. Now it’s a second one and I cannot wait to move out of here. I also don’t read any BL or watch yaoi anime. It’s made to make all the perverse people happy and I refuse to get involved.
WOW THAT IS LONG :) Sorry! I hope to hear more from you. Thank you again!
