Szechuan-Chicken-Noodles

Dumb shit probably

[szechuanchickennoodles]

"The sparkle in your eyes" boi I am wearing a goddamn horse mask you do know that right???

[szechuanchickennoodles]

My superpower

Yo I wish I had the superpower to find things I'm looking for. Like imagine this: -finding your phone/wallet/car keys -finding old papers or objects -finding songs that you heard once that you were never able to find again -I repeat: finding songs -finding those fucking songs that no one knows like how cool would you be if you could find all those songs

[szechuanchickennoodles]

Olympics 2016

Canadian friend: omg America has so many gold medals can you guys please slow your roll.

Me: well we train our athletes in special quarantine areas to make them perfect and then send them to fight in the Olympics

Canadian friend: all we do is feed ours maple syrup and tell them sorry.

[szechuanchickennoodles]

My dog fucking loves me

[szechuanchickennoodles]

"That's a spiceh meatball"

[szechuanchickennoodles]

"Skreeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

[szechuanchickennoodles]

If you ever feel stupid...

Just remember that one time while I was sitting in bed I let one rip and forgot that I was under the covers.