whatsajohn?screams

A journal of epic rants and randomness sc-@szechuanjohn | ig-@szechuanjohnn

[homietwt]

[1st-1]

[1st-1]

Neighbor: you didn’t decorate your house this year

Me: Sure I did

[poemswords]

[heavensghost]

[rbcages]

how are you so quiet about it? your sadness i mean. how do you hold it in your chest, in your eyes, in your teeth without letting it speak; how does it stay still?

[laylainalaska]

While walking the dog yesterday, we found the tracks of a pack of wolves that had passed across the edge of our property. (I live out in the highway in Alaska.) I took a picture of my hand next to a wolf track for comparison. 

Now here’s a picture of my hand with one of our dog’s tracks:

And he’s not an especially small dog; he’s a 55-lb retriever mix.

And the dog’s tracks next to wolf tracks:

Wolves are huge.

[weaselle]

dude, i’m tellin you, for real Sometimes people ask if my klee kai is a wolf, like, seriously. And I’m always like oh no, ha ha he kind of looks like one, though, hunh? But inside I’m always like “uh, my dog weighs thirty pounds, wolves weigh more than me and my dog put together – if he was a wolf you wouldn’t be asking if he was a wolf, you’d be peeing your pants and demanding we leave”

like, a wolf is as tall when lying down as most dogs are standing. here, see for yourself. Labs are a very dog-sized dog, wouldn’t you say? Check this out

(this is a wolf in Alaska that found an unfenced dog park and slowly over the course of months learned how to hang out and have fun with the dogs)

[weaselle]

SO BIG THO - here, have some more examples

[1st-1]

“Happy Halloween! 🎃 Can you find a GHOST among the skeletons? source

[malalaweacom]

[sherlock-is-ace]

[jameshoppy]

A ancient warning

[wonders-of-the-cosmos]

orionids meteor shower

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

anyone: we should improve society somewhat

veterans: you dont get to complain about anything until youve committed war crimes like i have

[catchymemes]

Slightly uncomfortable dump

[ayusaurus]

OP I think we need to have a talk about your definition of “slightly uncomfortable” because my levels of rage skyrocketed faster than it took Thanos to snap his fingers

[satirizing]

thanks i hate it!!!!!

[szechuanjohn]

Some of these were tough to process honestly

[wtf-fun-factss]

Its expensive to be poor - WTF Fun Fact

[opaquestrategies]

-Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms 

[bogleech]

Despite being in a fantasy humor novel the “boots theory” is legitimately the actual reason poor people stay poor. Just apply it to literally everything else; food supply, car maintenance, clothes, teeth, toiletries, everything.

[harmed]

[4gifs]

[yuzupool]

i’ve been comprimised 

[dvas-mech-deactivated20160528]

i laughed for about 349583492547252 years

[jayjaysingh-deactivated20150720]

I’ve waited 2 years for this post to hit my dash again. Totes worth it

[kreature-ofthenight]

It get better this guy, he wanted to work for the police but they didnt want him because he was to “unfit” now he spends his freetime trolling and running from the police. he is by now a pretty famous comedian and just to show you

thats him dressed up as sonic and blocking real trafic photograph machines and stuff

thats him spraying a guy who smokes in a zone where its forbiden with a fire extungisher

blocking the street with a DIY railway

blind man driving

AND as a snail on a speedway

[catsuplifting]

What moms are for 😻

[1st-1]

Cop: are you high?

Me: hello, am I what?

Cop: high

Me: hello