[t-hetrueheir]

“Me either,” Cohen sighed, her voice falling. “Maybe we…” She trailed off, still deciding what the next word would be. “Maybe we shouldn’t.” Her words were firm, but anyone could tell by her face that she was completely unsure. As soon as the words had left her lips, she regretted it. Her heart was screaming the opposite of her lips, but it seemed so clear that he didn’t want this, that he didn’t want her. Her eyes wandered up to his, “Is that what… you would want? We could just… do- or- I guess, be something… else.” Cohen’s words were awkward, unlike her usually sure personality.

Her words confused him. Up until now, he had been certain that he wanted to continue to see her. After her statement, though, he wasn’t so sure. “Well, if that’s how you feel...” He cleared hi throat. “I... I can’t force you to want something more. I know how you feel about royalty, after all.” This felt strange for him. He was usually so confident... This brought up old memories of standing in the rain, waiting on someone who would never arrive. Feelings of being unwanted. He swallowed hard. “Should I leave?”

[t-hetrueheir]

“Yes,right!”Lila said,smiling uncertainly but looking her brother over.”So I’m sure you heard we’re roommates this month so I thought we’d touch base about that and moving stuff in.”

“...we’re what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Surely you’re joking...”

[t-hetrueheir]

“No?! Did you really just say ‘no’ to me?!”

“That’s exactly what I said. I don’t believe in giving spoiled, needy brats what they don’t deserve.”

[t-hetrueheir]

“I’m staring at you, because you’ve been standing in my way for two minutes and I assumed you would be smart enough to pick up on the hint that I want you to move - but I guess you aren’t…so…move!”

Lucian crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes. “No,” he said, simply.

[t-hetrueheir]

Cohen pondered over his question for a few seconds, wondering exactly what she should say. She simply looked up at him, wondering how to go about this. “I just told you I don’t know, and that was the truth.” She sighed, wishing she knew, wishing she could tell him and be done with it. “I just know that I really do like you, and care about you, and… and I’ve never really felt like that before, so, I guess I’m just confused.” She spoke slowly, as if every word was chosen meticulously, trying to string together the right sentence. “Have you ever… been in a relationship before?” Cohen asked, genuinely curious. She knew his past was a touchy subject, and the last thing she wanted was to anger him, but she kept wondering if he was just as clueless as she was in this area. 

“A relationship...” He said the word aloud as if it was a completely foreign concept. He scratched the back of his neck, biting his lower lip as he thought of how to answer it. “I suppose, in the traditional sense, no,” he answered truthfully, shrugging his shoulders. 

[t-hetrueheir]

“You said you wanted to see me?” Lucian crossed his arms over his chest, clearly not in the mood to speak to his sister. Of course, he was never in the mood to speak to his sister.

@lilarein

[t-hetrueheir]

“Can I help you with something?” Lucian asked, raising an eyebrow. He couldn’t help but notice the girl who was staring at him. He just wasn’t sure if it was on accident or on purpose.

@wtfscar

[t-hetrueheir]

Lucian looked down at her now, his eyes searching hers. He could agree with what she was saying somewhat, though he had to imagine that figuring things out was part of what being in a relationship was. He felt an ache in his chest at the thought of not being able to be more than what they were now, but he just couldn't tell her that that was what he wanted. "Then... what do you want?"

[t-hetrueheir]

As he looked at her, he felt mixed emotions. At first, he felt absolutely overjoyed at her words. Then the worry set in, however, and things changed. She cared about him, sure, but he was worried about what would happen in the future. He didn't like uncertainty. Not in the least bit. He couldn't admit that, though, for fear of looking paranoid. "I'm not sure what I want..." he said, though it was a lie. He looked down as he said it, cheeks flushed.

[t-hetrueheir]

Cohen’s gaze fell to the ground, she knew he was wrong, just not in the way that either of them thought. She knew exactly how she felt, somewhere deep down within her. She liked him, more than friends, even more than friends with benefits. Even she could barely see that, her mind fogged with a sense of pride, but she knew. It was there, somehow. She never thought she could ever love- not that she loved him, of course, but this was too close for her own comfort. She didn’t know how to do this. Out of all the crazy adventures and situations she’s been in, nothing seemed as crazy as this. “No.” She responded, honestly. “I know exactly how I feel.” Her gaze finally lifted from the floor and her brave eyes met his. “Do you?” She asked, followed by a slight tilt of her head. Cohen sighed, now he was right. “The only thing i know how to do is act like I don’t care. And I… I really feel like if I stop pretending I don’t care, it’ll just get much, much harder. In case you didn’t realize, Lucian, I have never really cared too much about anything.” Except this, apparently. She cared a little too much about whatever this was.

As he looked at her, he knew he knew the answer to her question. Whether or not he was ready to admit it was a different story. He chewed on his lower lip, looking up at her with a softened, almost frightened, expression. Lucian had always had the opposite problem, where he cared too much to the point where it made him callous. Cohen, however, was peeling back his protective layers and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. “I... I care about you,” was all he could manage quite yet.

[t-hetrueheir]

“If you know me that well, then why don’t you tell me what else I’m goign to say? Why don’t you already know exactly how I feel? If you knew me that well, you’d know the answers to all the questions we’re asking each other, but you don’t.” Cohen’s voice was softer now, these were not fighting words, at least, not like they were before. She didn’t want to fight (for once). She pouted a little, her lower lips sticking out just a tad bit as she watched him get ready to go. “Now, we have a choice. We can pretend none of this ever happened- which would be hard, considering that it seems like I’m just ridiculously irresistible to you- and actually be friends. We can talk about how we feel, which would probably be very good for our mental health, but really hard for the both of us, or we can just keep doing what we’re doing and never figure out exactly what that is.” She shrugged, “The choice is yours, really.” She said carelessly, as if he could walk out her door right now and she wouldn’t be upset about it.

“I don’t know how you feel, because I don’t think you even know how you feel.?” Am I right?”  He knew he was, at least partially. He listened to her, arms crossed over his chest. She was right, honestly. Her nonchalant attitude, however, really pissed him off. “Stop acting like you don’t care about this. That will only make this harder.”

[t-hetrueheir]

“I thought so,” Cohen sighed, sitting back as he began to talk. “Oh, you knew I was going to say those exact words? You don’t know me that well, love.” The words came out sharp and bitter, she was offended, to say the least. “Really? Because if you actually didn’t care, I don’t think you’d be getting mad right now, you’d probably be relieved.” She said, getting up to follow him into the other room. She was finding herself more and more confused. If he did care, what did that mean? Why did he shower to get away from her if he did care? It didn’t make much sense to her. Cohen wasn’t the type to just let someone walk away from her. “Lucian-” She sighed, leaning against the doorway, “I…” She paused, realizing she had no idea how she was going to finish her sentence. “I think, that maybe we’re both just not so good at talking about this.” Cohen was already upset about other things, that’s why she wanted him here in the first place, and now, now he was just adding to everything else on her mind.

“I don’t know you that well, Cohen? Please. Don’t act as though I don’t know you better than anyone, even if we havne’t known each other long. No one relates to you as much as I do.” Lucian continued to get dressed, tugging on his shirt next. As she stopped at the doorway, he looked up at her. He was completely speechless at this point. He didn’t want to tell her off, but he also didn’t want to talk about how he was feeling. “So now what?”

[t-hetrueheir]

Cohen moved across the kitchen, grabbing a couple plates and returning them to the table. She could always eat, but she didn’t feel as though she had much of an appetite anymore. Still, she sat, taking a slice and plopping it down on her plate. Cohen hated his question. She could only assume that’s what she’d be asked, but the idea of telling him the truth created a deep, terrible pit in her stomach. “I… I regret saying anything.” She scratched the side of her head. “I don’t suppose you’d answer that question first, would you?” Cohen asked, feeling as though it was unfair for either of them to have to admit how they feel first. “Well, it’s not like you just pulled on your clothes and left! That’s what I’m used to, either I leave or the other person does and it’s fine and nothing’s ever weird because- because they’re never my friends- or whatever the fuck we are- not that we have to be anything. We can be nothing. It’s not like I care, I don’t care about anything, but I wasn’t about to kick you out, you know that I don’t mind your company on a… a non-sexual basis.” Cohen wasn’t sure she’d ever said anything that was so truthful and dishonest at the same time. She tossed in lies as needed with the truth, desperate to cover up that she might actually have feelings for someone. 

“Considering you’re the one who brought it up, no. I don’t want to answer the question first.” He bit his lower lip, looking over at her as she spoke. ‘It’s not like I care.’ The words echoed in his head and his stomach turned. ‘I don’t care about anything.’ “You are so...predictable. I knew you would say those exact words. You don’t care? Alright, well neither do I, then. We’re on the same page now.” He went into the next room, pulling on his pants. His face was bright red. There was a tightness in his chest he refused to acknowledge. 

[t-hetrueheir]

Cohen didn’t really appreciate his attitude, but she didn’t want to be miserable the whole time either. She debated on what to say, her eyes falling to the floor as she tried to figure out if she should say how she felt or lie, like she was so good at. “I might,” She responded, knowing that’s not the answer Lucian was looking for. She waited to continue until the door was closed and the pizza man was gone. She still stood there for a minute, biting her lip as she thought of the right words to use. “I guess I just don’t really know where we stand anymore, and I’d quite like to figure that out.” She sighed, moving away from her bedroom into the main area. “I didn’t realize that you were going to start acting weird if we fucked.” She sighed, needing to push some sort of attitude into the conversation. 

Lucian sat the pizza down on the table and then crossed his arms over his chest. “’Alright, well... Where would you like us to stand?” He followed her into the next room, raising an eyebrow as he did. “I’m not acting weird because we fucked. I have no problem with fucking. It’s the part after the fucking that made me act weird.”

[t-hetrueheir]

Lucian could sense her attitude and he knew she was annoyed at how he was acting before. Still, he didn't want her to be cold to him the whole night. "Do you have something you'd like to say?" He sighed, walking over to the door to get the pizza.

[t-hetrueheir]

Cohen stared at him for a second, before nodding in response to his question. “Yeah, are you?” She asked, an eyebrow raised in her questioning. She thought that was the real question, if he was okay. After all, she felt like she’d barely done anything to prompt the question he’d asked. She was ready to lay there with him all day, as weird as it was for her. She was scared he was going to shut her out now, worried that they were never really friends at all. She didn’t want to be some thing he fucked and left aside, never to be spoken to again. Normally, she was the one leaving men aside, after they’d benefited her however she needed. She never stayed with anyone before, and yet, here she was, upset that Lucian didn’t seem to want to spend more time with her. 

“Yeah I’m fine... I just, ah, don’t feel too well I guess... Kind of have a headache. Do you have any Advil?” he asked. He was trying to cover up his odd behavior from before with some kind of excuse, but he knew she probably saw right through that.

[t-hetrueheir]

Lila let out a sigh,nodding her head.”I guess you do have a point.”She conceded,she didn’t want him to go somewhere he didn’t feel welcome.”Would you like something brought back,from home?”

“No. Not at all. Thank you, though.”