an interview with @animmortalist (she/her)
what are you working on right now?
I am currently working on a couple different projects. It's a little chaotic, but it works for me. I think right now I have six or so multichapter wips I'm working on and off on. I like having a lot of different things happening at once—it keeps me from getting blocked or losing interest in a story. I tend to overextend myself, but usually, it does work for me pretty well. I like entering different mindsets for different stories. I think it keeps my writing fresh and keeps me from getting into a headspace where I'm doing this for the sake of doing it. Plus, I just get excited about sharing my work, and I’ve learned to override the doubt and need for perfection.
Right now though, my main projects are a rewrite of an earlier fic, Rock Bottom, a fake-dating celebrity au called the worst thing you ever heard, a kid fic!au featuring bellarke and murven, Send Me on My Way, and my canon-divergent fic, brokenness is a form of art.
what’s something you’d like to write one day?
I have a whole outline and idea for an alien apocalypse au. It would definitely be a journey and something I'd want to really sink my teeth into and spend a lot of time on. It involves some motifs to the show, more than I have in most of my other works since they're usually modern aus. I think it would be an interesting challenge for me, and hopefully, an entertaining story for readers. It's a long piece though, and right now, I gotta focus on the projects I have out in the world. I sometimes really have to control myself from working on this one though because it is one that's always in the back of my mind. Just waiting for me to finally find the time and get it together enough to write.
what is the fanwork you’re most proud of?
Probably Rock Bottom. It was the first fic I ever wrote and put out into the world, let alone my first fic for the fandom. It's an idea that refused to leave me alone, even before I got involved in the fandom on tumblr. I put a lot of myself into writing it, and I realize now it was such an ambitious project to take on for my first work. But I am really proud of myself for finishing it. Now, I'm editing the whole piece and reposting it, and that has been a really rewarding experience as well. This time, I am much more confident about my writing and what I'm doing plot-wise, so it's easier and more fun.
why did you first start writing fic?
Basically, I had the idea for Rock Bottom and it just wouldn't leave my head and I started thinking about it more and more until I sat down and wrote it all at once. I didn't know even how to go about it or how to get an ao3 account when I put out the first chapter! I just put it out on my tumblr and was so shocked when people liked it. Fic hasn't always been something I loved in its entirety (because of my own challenges with it, not anyone else) but the reason I keep coming back is it gives me such a strong community and it feels good to be a part of something. More than that though, I just really love providing any kind of joy in this garbage world.
what frustrates you most about fic writing?
Probably my own mental space and where I struggle with acceptance of my work and believing in myself. Months ago, I think in April/May I had a whole crisis about it. Basically, I quit fic. Shut down the ao3 account. Completely peaced out. But then I sat with it for like two and a half weeks and realized I wanted to come back. That I really did love writing fic and my community and the stories I still wanted to tell. I think I struggle with differentiating my fic from my original writing. I feel a lot more pressure with my original stuff, and there’s also the lack of continuous feedback that you can get with fic. I’ve come to learn that they're different things, and they have different kinds of meanings and importance. I think I have a much better understanding of why I write fic now that I've come back to it.
what are your top five songs right now?
1. Chinese Satellite: Phoebe Bridgers
I really, really love the quiet tension and melancholy Phoebe Bridgers captures in her music. It never fails to amaze me or make me feel All the Things.
This one really took me by surprise. Really, the whole album did. But this track especially. It's a departure and yet makes perfect sense for Swift's career, if that makes sense. But this song just hits me right in the chest.
3. Pink Lite-Sir Babygirl
This is such a fun, light-hearted song. It makes me wanna dance. It reminds me of parties I went to when I was in college, which I just graduated from this spring. It's a nostalgic song and yet also something I find new things in as well.
This one is a big inspiration for one of my newer fics, brokenness is a form of art. It's got the perfect sound and feel to it that I want to capture for the story.
5. Living Proof-Gregory Alan Isakov
This one reminds me of those days in college where I felt so separate from a lot of people, even as I was surrounded by them. It's a hopeful song and yet a sad song. I think that's really special when music can do that.
what are your inspirations?
I get really inspired by music and books. Sometimes, I put small references to some of my favorite books in my fic, and even if I'm the only one who knows they're there, it's still fun. Whenever someone finds them or even finds connections I didn't think of, I really love it. Music is the absolute driving force with me and writing though. For every big project I have a playlist that I curate with a lot of care. Each song represents a feeling a character goes through or a moment in the story or something else like that. I love music so much and I usually get the name of my stories and chapter titles from different songs that are on those project's playlist. I could talk about music all day, honestly, and the way it's helped me in innumerable ways.
what first attracted you to Bellarke? what attracts you now?
This is a tough one for me because I really can't recall what made me first ship them or fall for them, even. Now, it feels like it's always been there. Regardless, I love the trust there, the dedication. But it's balanced, in my opinion. They wouldn't do absolutely anything for the other, and I kind of like that? Not to say that they wouldn't do reckless things, because they kind of have, sometimes, but that they understand the other enough to do what would make them proud. I really enjoy relationships where there's a team leader aspect, and I guess that's what initially drew me to them, when I think about it more. This might not make a whole lot of sense, which I apologize for, but really, there are many reasons why I love them and got this deep, most of which I can’t really articulate too well.
BESIDES Bellarke, what character or pairing do you like best on t100?
Probably murven and clurphy? Mostly because I really enjoy how murven shouldn't really get along, but somehow, there's such a strong chemistry there and potential that I like to play with. I think I feel similarly to clurphy, there's a lot for me to unpack as a writer. I love when I have the opportunity to explore something different or even unexpected, and there’s such a fun quality to both of those pairings.
But really, I love writing about all characters and relationships from the show. I recently started exploring murphamy more, and have such a newfound love for it. I’m a Murphy fan, and I think writing from his point of view is fun and exciting and always gives me something new to think about.
Luckily, perhaps, I feel I have the freedom to explore all kinds of dynamics and characters with my fic. There's so many new opportunities to put characters together and see how they change and grow because of those relationships, whether they're platonic or romantic.
why did you decide to start writing for bellarkefic-for-blm?
I saw the initiative and immediately wanted to join. I held off for a day or so because I already had a decent amount of projects going on, but then I realized that this was something I could do to help, and that mattered more. I've enjoyed the experience so much so far, and I am beyond honored to be a part of it. I just really want to help make a difference and assist the movement in my everyday life, and this is something I can do given my limited resources with everything that's currently happening.
what’s your writing process like?
It's really detailed at times and then others a total mess. I have a very specific outlining process that involves some bullet journaling, my Notion notes (which, seriously, if you don't have Notion you need to get it's amazing), and some color-coding. I used to do a lot more, but found myself doing more outlining instead of actually writing, so I've streamlined it a bit.
Once I get to the writing stage, though, I tend to let go and not restrain myself too much. I like to do what feels right in the moment, and know that if it doesn't work, I can go back and edit it later. If I need to change parts of the outline or go off in a different direction, I do. I use my gut a lot, which maybe isn't the most technical choice, but it helps me continue to enjoy the experience of writing.
what are some things you’d like to recommend?
So, I really recommend checking out a great writer's new fic, There's a Serpent Lying Deep Down in These Still Waters by @shaeheda. It's just the first part so far, but the world building is great and I'm really excited to see where the story goes. Also, I know the writer, and am totally biased, but there's such an intricacy and care in this story. And everyone's gotta read the book Dare Me by Megan Abbott. It's fantastic and intense and I finished it like a week ago and can't stop thinking about it. As for music, check out Diet Cig's latest album Do You Wonder About Me? It's been one of my recurring listens since it came out.
You can find @animmortalist right here on Tumblr, or here on her AO3. Request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm.