The integral : Dear Me, Dear You [Taekook]
First of all, I would like to apologize for the spelling mistakes, English is not my native language so I hope it will not disturb you. I try to improve as I go along. Thank you all for your understanding ❤
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11/05/23
As Marguerite Duras once said, if you knew something about what you were going to write, before you did it, before you wrote it, you would never write. It would not be worth it.
To write is to try to know what one would write if one wrote - one only knows it afterwards - before, it is the most dangerous question one can ask oneself. But it is also the most common.
The written word arrives like the wind, it is naked, it is ink, it is the written word, and it passes like nothing else passes in life, nothing more, except it, life.
And that's exactly what I'm not doing right.
12/05/23
When was the time I actually burst into tears? I had no idea. The last time it was supposed to happen, I wasn't given the chance.
So, inside my body, it's still screaming without being able to let it out of me...
13/05/23
One day I'll explode, but when? All I'd like is for them to stop, well, to stop telling me what to do, what I should do, what they'd like me to do.
To give me orders every time you get the chance, all because you have all the rights over me and half the things you ask me I just can't refuse! All the time I feel tired, worn out and misunderstood. You don't realize how much pressure you put on me every day. I feel so bad but also so frustrated.
When will you finally leave me alone? I guess never? I'm laughing so hard it makes me despair. I can't even tell you everything I feel in my heart because you will take it the wrong way. Because your "Yeah but me" is fine okay? Are we talking about you or are we talking about me right now?? But I know you will always have something to say to make me look like the liar and a person who abuses a lot. Yes I abuse, yes I complain but so what? I'm actually tired of it. I'm sick of having to put up with this!
I'm drowning slowly but everything is fine...
14/05/23
If you feel too much emotion, let it out.
Oh yes, that's right, I just write what's on my mind...
15/05/23
"He's too weird."
Ah because you think you're more human too? Is laughing at someone normal? Making fun of someone for free because we're not all perfect and without problems?
16/05/23
If you had to have a favorite motto, what would it be? I have one, and I would like you to anchor it in your head.
If what you have to say is not more beautiful than silence, then shut up.
No, it's not that they don't know, it's just that they don't understand me...
They never believed me. But I did, I always believed them.
One day, someone said to me,
Run, so you can escape your past, your present, but what you must not leave is your future.
And I always thought that you would be the right person...
29/05/23
Our conversation was like that. At least, that's what it came down to,
"I hate the humans in this world...
But you are a human too."
"Except that he and I are quite different.
They're just inhuman, that's all. He doesn't care what other people feel, if he's going to do that, he might as well let us die, you don't want to reach out to us. I am human, because I know how to reach out. I know how to help and forgive. And you know why? Because we are stronger than you think. They are the weak ones, and I'm sick of people playing with my patience. That they've been making fun of me since the beginning! At least I have feelings. Do you? You're here because you're afraid. And the weak, as you know so well how to say, don't deserve you.
You must have thought I was crazy...
30/05/23
I also thought of those stories of people who forgive the unforgivable after hearing the words, "I love you. From what I understood, love was a rather extreme idea, which seemed to lock the indefinable into the prison of a single term. And everyone abused the word. People used the word "love" for a yes or a no, whenever they were not feeling too bad or when they felt gratitude.
31/05/23
Powerful people don't talk. And people in trouble fight back.
01/06/23
You are the reason I smile every day.
I am also your reason to smile.
So I hope I'm important to you...
02/06/23
I lied because there's no way you could love me.
03/06/23
Don't come closer or you'll be unhappy...
04/06/23
Life smiled at me then rejected me.
Life loved me then it hated me.
05/06/23
There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that we were born in a judgmental society. We get insulted so gratuitously that sometimes we wonder if it's worth responding to them. They just want attention because they think they're as perfect as us. It's ridiculous. Just be beautiful in your own way, that's all.
Does he deserve our attention?
06/06/23
The blows hurt, they are fatal, but the hurtful words are even more so.
07/06/23
Why did you separate me from the person I care so much about? It was on purpose, right? I laugh nervously. I hate you...
But I don't even know what I did to you...
08/06/23
I lost absolutely everything...
But tomorrow is another day, isn't it?
09/06/23
The fact that I don't fight back doesn't mean I'm weak. Only enough to understand that anger does not solve anything. But here, it's really too much.
10/06/23
Yesii, that's great, bravo! Thanks a lot.
In fact, you are really the king of the bastards.
Dare to come near me once and it won't be your empty words that will be broken, but your whole heart, asshole!
11/06/23
I want you to know that my heart is in my hand Jeongukk. But it can also come to your face.
12/06/23
The shorter jokes are the better ones.
13/06/23
It's never their fault anyway. It's true, they are perfect. Now that I think about it, that's really what it is, they are "perfect".
I get it. Now you have to stop taking me for an idiot.
14/06/23
You really want to know, huh? Do you want to know why we're not together anymore, Jeongukk? Well, simply because you fucked up.
15/06/23
It's not that I can't take it anymore, it's that it hurts to take it.
And I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you...
16/06/23
"It's okay, you don't have to force yourself, pretend like it's okay and nothing's changed because I can see that."
Don't you dare say that to me. You don't know anything about me.
