Summary: You lived in an apartment building a few doors down from Kim Namjoon. Living as neighbors passing smiles and typical strangers greetings, was the norm until a chance encounter at a park changed everything.
Note: Italicized = Inner monologue
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3
Warnings: Mentions of blood
Happy Birthday
5 months later…
He had missed so much while he’d been away. He got in late Saturday night, and fully intended on waking up early to continue the deer feeding ritual, as if he hadn’t been gone for 5 months. Unfortunately, he slept through his 3 alarms.
He checked his watch, 9:45. He wouldn't have been as late if he hadn’t stopped to buy coffee, but it didn’t feel right to show up empty handed. He made his way to the spot excited to see her after the time spent apart. He missed seeing her in the halls and the way his heart fluttered when she laughed. He missed hanging out in her apartment and devouring a box of delivery chicken when he was supposed to be dieting. And he especially missed their Sunday morning ritual of feeding the deer. He practiced officially asking her out in his head, “I like you a latte, would you be my girlfriend?” He cringed at his terrible line. This is caramel macchiato what am I doing.
A deep grunt catches his attention, Namjoon looks up to see Bambi standing ten meters ahead of him in the center of the path. He looked even bigger than Namjoon remembered him, more muscular and stoic. “Hey Buddy!” Namjoon was surprised at himself by how happy he was to see the beast that used to terrify him.
Bambi approached him and gently, but forcefully began nudging him toward Deer Creek. Namjoon found it strange, but he chalked it up to Bambi trying to say he was late. Frankly, that should have been the moment he knew something was wrong.
As he approached the stream he could here faint talking over the hum of the stream. The scene that played before him almost made him drop the coffees.
In hindsight he should’ve known something was wrong when he saw Bambi waiting for him, without (Y/n). And he definitely should’ve realized something was wrong when the beast started nudging him. But even those red flags could not have prepared him for what he saw.
Stella was surrounded by the other does of the herd, breathing heavy and bleating in extreme pain. (Y/n) kneeled by her side, trying to calm the poor doe. But when she turned he could see she her arms were covered up to her elbows in blood.
She looked up at him, the panic and fear written all over her face, “Aww Namjoon-ssi, great timing. Uh do you by any chance know how to deliver a deer?”
He went to speak, but no words came out. This was not how he saw his day going.
“What… What’s going on??” Even though the situation was as clear as day in front of him, the shock of the blood made it difficult to form coherent thoughts.
“I was right Stella was pregnant, and she’s um.. giving birth... right now.”
“Wh- wh- why are you covered in blood?” his voice came out more panicked than he intended it to.
“She’s in pain. I think the baby’s breached. I don’t see a head, it’s coming out rear first. I don’t know much about deer birth, but I’m pretty sure the feet are supposed to come out first, or is it the head? Can you look it up? I tried using my phone but my hands are shaking too badly to unlock it.” He glanced down to see your bloody phone lying next to you.
He hadn’t realized it but he was shaking too. He’d never had a problem with blood, but he’d never seen that much of it before. He set the coffee and flowers down and tried to calm himself. (Y/n) was trying so hard to stay calm, but it was clear she was already anxious and panicking, he had to be calm or it would just make things worse.
“We should call somebody.” As soon as he said it, he wished he hadn’t. The whole situation had his head spinning. He had no idea what to do or say, and everything he did say or do came out wrong.
She snapped at him, “Who? Who is gonna come out into the woods at 9:30 on a Sunday morning to deliver a wild deer? No one else even knows where this place is, so there’s no way even if someone were to come that they’d find us, let alone make it in time.”
Stella bleats in pain. Her breathing getting deeper and more labored. “Joonie I think she’s dying!” Your voice cracked and tears started streaming down your face.
He had been thinking the same thing. His heart hurt instantly, he’d never seen you cry before. “Okay okay, we can do this.”
With shaking hands he searched. The internet had a lot of things, but he was certain it wouldn’t have much on how to deliver a breached wild deer so he looked up breached calf instead, “Cows and deer are similar enough right?”
“I guess so - they belong to - the same - scientific order,” she said between sobs.
He didn’t tell her to calm down, it wouldn’t have helped either of them. The only thing that was gonna calm her down was delivering that baby deer.
“I’ll take it,” Sure enough there were a hand full of videos on delivering a breached calf, and he talked her through it. In the end, there was a lot of blood, guts, and tears, but Stella delivered a baby boy.
The thing came out looking weird covered in blood and gross gestational fluid. Its legs were so thin it was a mystery how it was even able to stand, but despite how weird and gross looking it was, it was somehow cute. Stella seemed fine after giving birth, licking her newborn fawn.
(Y/n) leaned against Namjoon after the adrenaline rush subsided, emotionally and physically exhausted. He’d figured she would be after hysterically sobbing throughout the entire delivery process.
He looked down at you, arms and clothing covered in deer blood and bodily fluids. Even with tear stained cheeks, sweat ruined makeup, and hair stuck to her face, she was still beautiful. He used some of the napkins he brought to clean her blood and gut stained hands. They were so small compared to his, but they fit perfectly together.
“Is this a bad time to ask you to go out with me?” he says handing her a melted iced caramel macchiato.
All you could do was laugh, “You’re seriously too much,” you laugh and take the coffee. “It’s about as good a time as any,” you take a sip, and sigh in satisfaction. It was made exactly the was you liked it. “So we’re dating now is that how this works?”
“Mhmm,” he takes a sip of his melted iced americano, and takes your hand giving it a gentle squeeze.
“I don’t think as long as I live, I’ll ever meet someone as extraordinary as you.”
“Where’s that coming from?” You coughed, not expecting his sudden sentimental statement.
“You delivered a wild animal!” He clarified, gesturing at Stella and her newborn fawn.
“No, we delivered a wild animal. Give yourself some credit too! You stayed calm while I was freaking out, the situation was so scary, but you tried to stay calm for my sake.”
He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. “I can’t believe you cried through the whole thing.”
“Shut up,” you whine nudging him playfully. He laces his fingers between yours.
“I don’t think you can get on a subway looking like this though.”
You look down at your blood stained overalls. Crap. These were my favorite ones.
“I can call a car?” He suggests, already picking up his car.
“That would be nice.”
As Namjoon was on the phone calling for a car, you ambled over to the edge of the water and scrubbed the dried blood off your hands and forearms.
“Here take my hoodie, it’s oversized, it should cover all the blood.
You accept it. Just holding it in front of you, you knew it was going to be grossly oversized, at least to your knees.
“Turn around” you look at him and make a spinning gesture with your finger.
“Why?”
“I wanna take off this sweaty shirt too so turn.” you gesture again making the spinning motion with your finger.
He sighs and turns around. “You know I’ll see you without a shirt sooner or later.” Immediately after his bold comment a stick hit him between the shoulder blades, and he jumps, surprised at how good her aim is.
“Perv!” He had a feeling the comment was meant to be sharper, but the smile in her voice was audible.
You quickly change into his hoodie. The sleeves were so long you had to roll them up 3 times just so you could use your hands, and it hit just above your knees.
In a moment of bravery, you wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him from behind.
The feeling was a little foreign to you, but comforting. He was a little sweaty, but he was warm. He felt like home, safe.
It was the first time you’d ever done something like that to him. He never thought his heart would flutter the way it did. The way your arms wrapped around his waist perfectly.... It was like a cheesy scene from a drama, but it was real and it was nice.
The two of you spent the next 30 minutes waiting for the car catching up.
“You remember that one student I had? The one I recommended for extra lessons? Her family emigrated to California last week. And she gave me this as a thank you present.”
You reached into your back pocket and pulled out a customized a black face mask that read: IT’S OK, I SPEAK KOREAN in white puff paint.
He laughs, “This is great, you should wear this everywhere!”
“I have been, especially to restaurants and they finally stopped giving me the English menu.” You wiggle, proud your personal triumph, and look at the gift fondly. “She wasn’t good at studying, but she improved a lot. I have no doubt she’ll be fine in America.”
Namjoon’s phone rang, the car was here.
Exiting the woods you checked if the coast was clear. Although Namjoon always wore a mask, hat, and sunglasses when you guys went out, it was always a possibility he could get recognized and mobbed. The coast was clear except for and elderly couple and some girl on a bench, but she was busy texting.
He takes your hand and laces is fingers in between yours.
You raise your eyebrows at his risky gesture, “Are you sure?”
He nods, and you step out of the woods together for the first time as a couple.
At the time she had no idea how important it was for him to do something so normal, holding his girlfriend’s hand out in public. With his occupation, there were so many things he wasn’t able to do solely because of his status and this was just a big victory for him.
Walking hand in hand with him wearing his hoodie, one that he was absolutely not getting back, was like a dream. A huge step in the budding relationship.
Summary: You lived in an apartment building a few doors down from Kim Namjoon. Living as neighbors passing smiles and typical strangers greetings, was the norm until a chance encounter at a park changed everything.
Note: Italicized = Inner monologue
Previous Chapters: 1, 2
Goodbye?
For the next month and a half you showed up at Namjoon’s door with coffee and he would accompany you to the park to feed the deer. He made the trips there more enjoyable, usually you would spend the subway ride and the market visit listening to music, but conversations with him were way more fun.
Feeding the deer only took about 15 minutes, but it felt weird to leave after spending all that time traveling there. He would spend free time writing in his notebook he wouldn’t let you see or napping, and you would spend free time grading papers or try to perfect your rock skipping technique.
This particular day after grading papers, you were absentmindedly skipping rocks when you noticed something weird about Stella. You squinted and tilted your head believing your eyes truly were deceiving you. After scanning the bellies of each doe, you were sure of it. Stella was pregnant.
“Namjoon-ssi look at this,” you tap his shoulder and he quickly shut his notebook and followed where your finger was pointing.“Stella, what about her?”
“I think she's pregnant.”
“What? How do know?” He put his notebook down and squinted.
“Look at her and the other does, her belly is bigger.”
He saw what she meant. Compared to the other does, Stella’s abdomen did bulge, but it was hard to tell if it was because she was pregnant or just fat. “She could just have gained weight. I swear you overfeed her.”
“I do not!” You gasp at the accusation, putting your hands on your hips knowing what he said was completely true. You did give her more treats than the others, but only because she was so cute. Her gaining weight was a possibility, but your gut told you she was pregnant. “Well only time will tell. We should bring more food for her next time as a precaution.”
He laughs and rolls his eyes, “You’re cute.” The thought had just passed his mind, he hadn’t even realized he’d said it out loud until it was too late.
You get flustered at his compliment. “You think I’m cute?”
“I-I mean what you did just now was cute! Not that you’re not usually cute I mean—“
“Relax Namjoon-ssi I’m just giving you a hard time.” You’re chest kind of ached and you fought really hard to make sure the disappointment didn’t show. You didn’t expect him taking back the compliment would sting so badly but it did. You turn your attention back to skipping rocks. “Well what could I really expect? What he’d like someone like me when he’s surrounded by actresses, models, and idols on the daily? I was really just kidding myself. We’re just friends. End of story.” You felt the tears welling up behind your eyes and bit your lip to keep yourself from crying.
His palms grew sweaty, he had carelessly put himself at a crossroads. He did like her a lot, but he didn’t want to confess right before going on tour. What if she didn’t feel the same? It would definitely put him in a funk. But if he didn’t confess now, she’d think he wasn’t interested, which he definitely was. He was at a crossroads: getting rejected, not knowing if she liked him too, or her thinking he wasn’t interested in her at all. None of his options were ideal, but he couldn’t deal with the later. He took a deep breath and went for it. “For the record, I do think you’re cute, but I wouldn’t use that word to describe you.”
His confession throws you off and your stone completely misses the stream, landing with a thud on the riverbank. You clear your throat “Is that so?”
“Mhmm,” he uses a stick to draw spiral in the dirt by his feet, “You’re complex”
You laugh out loud. It felt like a compliment, but it didn’t make any sense.
“What’s so funny?”
“A Rubix cube is complex, quantum mechanics is complex, but me complex?’
“You are complex! You’re curious, intriguing, smart, cute, sexy…”
He turned red at the last comment, he couldn’t even look at you.
You purse your lips to hide the smile on your face. CUTE!!!
“For the record, I think you’re also all of the above.”
He looked at you with that smile and that dimple your tough exterior was crushed. It was one of the few times he didn’t cover his mouth while smiling.
“Ahh, don’t look at me like that. I’m not good at confessing.” You pulled your hoodie up and tightened the strings in an attempt to hide.
“I like you...” His words made you squeal like a school girl on the inside, but the way he said it, you knew there was a “but” to it. “But this is terrible timing. I’m about to be crazy busy for the next 5 months.”
Reality. And just like that you were off your emotional high. There was no feasible way a new relationship could last if one half of it was going to be away for 5 months. “Well why didn’t you say something earlier?”
He looks down at the ground and kicks at rocks, “Frankly, I thought you were out of my league.”
You were beyond baffled, how could he possibly see you, a freaking English teacher that makes not even a quarter of his salary, could be out of his league? Me?! Out of your league?! On what planet?! In what universe?!
“Are you insane? If anything it’s the other way around.”
“What?! Me?! Idol’s are a dime a dozen, but you, you befriended a herd of wild deer and domesticated them by yourself! That only happens in fairy tales, but here you are doing that in real life!”
You paused, he was right, but you’d never thought about it that way at all. What you did was just a hobby and completely normal to you. It didn’t even cross your mind that others would find it special.
He sighs, “I’m sorry for confessing right before tour, I really hadn’t meant to, but I couldn’t have you thinking I wasn’t interested.” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “That being said, I don’t expect you to wait around for me either. I’m going to be gone for 5 months, a lot can happen between now and then, if you find someone you really like I want you to go for it.”
You shake your head, “I’m telling you that won’t happen.”
“And why do you think that? I’m gonna be gone for nearly half a year. You could find someone between now and then”
“Do you think I can’t stay single for 5 months? I won’t find someone else because I’ve made up my mind that I like you.” His cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. His first instinct was to kiss her, but the more level headed side of him knew it would only complicate things. He didn’t want to solidify the relationship until he definitely had time to maintain it. Knowing she reciprocated his feelings was enough for now and he told himself to be content with that.
What is this? Why do I find his dopey grin and messy hair so charming? And this stupid smile just won’t leave my face. It was such a different feeling from when you’d had crushes in school, it drove you crazy. Is this what it feels like to really like someone?
Summary: You lived in an apartment building a few doors down from Kim Namjoon. Living as neighbors passing smiles and typical strangers greetings, was the norm until a chance encounter at a park changed everything.
Previous Chapter: 1
Wonderland
“I present to you… Deer creek,” she grins and gestures to the space around her. Although the rest of the park was still recovering from the cold winter, spring had come early at Deer Creek. The first green of the spring grew near the waters edge and fresh green leaves sprouted on nearby bushes; crystal clear water flowed over smooth pond pebbles. It looked like a place that would be on the cover of a foreign travel magazine. He had no idea such a beautiful space could exist so close to the hustle and bustle of the city while still remaining unaffected by human development. It was as if all the pollution and waste that plagued the city did not exist at Deer Creek. He could hardly believed he’d walked past it so many times.
As he stared in awe three deer emerged from the treeline. It was amazing how timid they all seemed, given their incredibly intimidating size. He watched as they apprehensively crossed the stream. (Y/n) squatted, opening her back pack to reveal tons of carrots, apples, and grapes. Within seconds eleven other deer had surrounded them waiting for snacks. Although, the experience was incredible, being surrounded was really unnerving. All of his senses were telling him to run, however, (Y/n) didn’t seem phased at all. In fact, she was smiling brightly at the creatures and handing out carrots and apples.
Without realizing it, Namjoon had inched closer to (Y/n) for safety. The deer did not seem wary of her at all, however they distanced themselves from him and he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were all looking at him. “Is it just me or are they all looking at me?”
She shook her head, “It’s not just you, they are looking at you. They’ve never seen you before, so they're curious. They don’t trust easily.”
“And what happens if they don’t trust me?”
“Hmm.” She pauses pondering the thought. “Bambi will probably eat you,” she says nonchalantly and resumes distributing snacks.
Namjoon flinched and looked over at the stag. The muscular build of the deer explained how it was able to lift it’s head up given the weight of it’s antlers. Up close he could see another set of antlers were entangled in the mess, one Bambi had presumably broken off of another stag during a fight. To Namjoon, it wasn’t farfetched to think the beast could eat him if he perceived him to be a threat.
Namjoon paled and gulped audibly.
“Gotcha!” She turns pointing finger guns at him and laughing. Namjoon breathed a sigh of relief, “Deer are vegetarians... for the most part.” You state continuing to distribute snacks.
“For the most part?!”
“Relax, you’ve got nothing to worry about. If they thought you were a threat they would’ve run away by now. Bambi is their pack leader, and since he has decided to trust you the rest have also bestowed upon you their trust as well. It’s not something to take lightly. Here,” she places a carrot stick in his hand and positions him toward the smallest deer, “This one’s Stella, she’s a full grown doe, but a runt so she’s tinier and not as intimidating as the others.”
He brought the carrot up to the doe’s mouth, it was strong for its size and Namjoon struggled to keep hold of the carrot.
“Hmm... Stella.” He mulled thought about what (Y/n) had said, as he looked into the eyes of the doe. These prey animals had decided to trust him, something that prey animals rarely do, and it kinda made him feel special.
“And you do this every Sunday?” He asked, getting the courage to pet Stella’s head. Her fur was much more coarse than he had imagined, but it didn’t make her any less cute.
“Yep, 9:00 sharp. Well except for today,” you reply.
“Amazing,” he had no idea such an outing could be experienced regularly completely for free, so close to the city. He was certain that if the entrepreneurs that lived in the city found out about this place, there would be a petting zoo cafe up within the week and a line out the door. He rolled his eyes at the very thought.
Before either of you realized it nearly two hours had passed and the deer had long since left. Leaving the two of you alone at the edge of the water.
“Do you mind not telling anyone about this spot? I don’t know how things work in Korea, but where I’m from Bambi is a hunter’s dream catch.” You ask, drawing spirals in the dirt with a twig.
“I won’t tell anyone, I can tell this place is important to you.”
She beams up at him, “Thanks I really appreciate it.” He couldn’t help but notice how pretty her smile was, and he found himself smiling back.
“Do you mind if I come with you, I mean to feed the deer.”
“Sure. It’s very tranquil here; a perfect place to write.”
“Write?” He raises an eyebrow, “You write?”
“No, but don’t you? You write songs right?”
“Yea how’d you know?”
His confusion was confusing you. “Are you not the Kim Namjoon that’s in BTS?”
His eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped, “You know me?” He was actually shocked. She never said anything that made him inclined to believe she knew about his occupation at all.
“Is this guy for real?” You thought to yourself. “Surely he had to understand how well known he was at this point, right? Happy birthday posters were plastered all around town only a few months ago, his face was on a bus, and he was in a fried chicken commercial, all very public displays.”
“Namjoon-ssi, I live 3 doors down from you, not under a rock.”
He laughed and hid his face in embarrassment. “I just didn’t get the impression you knew.”
“Actually I’m a high school teacher and BTS is always a hot topic.”
The instant look of confusion/disbelief on his face spoke volumes. It was the same look other tenants of the building gave you when you said you were a high school teacher.
“And I know what your thinking, ‘how can a high school English teacher afford to live in the building, let alone one of the penthouse rooms?’”
Could she read his mind? He was thinking that, but he didn’t want to be rude and ask.
“The answer to your question is simple: I can’t.”
He looked even more confused than before; the look on his face was truly meme level gold. “Or rather I wouldn’t be able to, but I was a nanny and tutor for an ambassador’s family for five years. They used to use the apartment as a vacation house, but they recently bought a bigger one so they gave this one to me as a thank you/farewell gift.”
The more they talked the more she interested him. Although her life was very different from his, it seemed just as eventful. He’d only seen people like her in movies and dramas, and it made him wonder how someone so free spirited could exist in real life.
Summary: You lived in an apartment building a few doors down from Kim Namjoon. Living as neighbors, passing smiles and typical strangers greetings was the norm until a chance encounter at a park changed everything.
Into the Woods
There’s a park a few subway stops away from your apartment that you visit at exactly 9:00am every Sunday morning. Not too far from the main path is a creek that a herd of deer frequent. Every Sunday at 9:00 am you feed the deer, and every Sunday at 9:00 am they wait for you 9:00 am. However, for the first time in 2 years you were running late. Somehow the same alarm you’d had for 2 years didn’t go off and if that weren’t enough of an inconvenience you had to stop at a different market to buy apples and carrots because your usual market was closed for the weekend because the owner was out of town.
Shuffling along on your way to your feeding spot, hung up on the series of unfortunate events of the morning, you heard a blood curdling scream. In the distance you can make out a terrified soul running for their life, followed by a deer with extensively overgrown antlers. A deer you immediately recognized.
“Oh no… Bambi” you mumble cursing yourself again for being late. Bambi was a stag, you’d been feeding ever since he was a fawn. Over time you’d grown quite fond of him, and him you. You took pride in watching how he grew from this scrawny little thing with little nubs instead of antlers, to this huge muscular stag with tangled, overgrown antlers and leader of his own herd. However, such an excessive look was one really only admired by you, as most people would find Bambi’s look more frightening than charming. People like that guy that was in the process of running for his life.
As they got closer the guy was frantically waving his arms, and screaming at you to run.
Not budging you yelled back at him, “He’s not chasing you! Move out of the way! Move out the way!” You waved back just as frantically, waving and yelling at the running man. Sadly it seemed your desperate intervention was not working. As you were losing hope that your words were reaching the guy’s ears, he leaped out of the way, Mission Impossible style, tumbling into the leafless bushes.
Bambi continued past the guy without hesitation, eventually slowing down to a trot and stopping a meter or so in front of you. His big eyes beamed at you and he was practically smiling, blissfully unaware of the terror he just inflicted on that poor passerby.
“Hi there boy,” you cooed, petting his head. “I brought you your favorite! Carrots and apples!” Reaching into your bag, you gave him an apple slice from the palm of your hand and laid a few more down at his hooves to keep him busy so you could talk to the guy he scared out of his wits a moment ago. “Now wait right here, we’ll go to the creek soon. I know others are waiting too.”
“Oh my god are you okay?!” dropping your bag and spilling the apple and carrot slices you brought with, you rush over to the guy to see if he was injured in the dive to evade Bambi.
“Yea I’m okay, aside from a couple scrapes and bruises” you met his gaze and recognized him immediately. He was a cute guy that lived a couple doors down from you. He moved in a couple months back and you’d passed him a couple times in the corridor, but hadn’t ever introduced yourself. Although you knew him as your attractive neighbor, he was much better known as Kim Namjoon of BTS.
I know you,” a slight flash of fear flashes in his eyes, you pretend not to notice, “I live a couple doors down from you, but I don’t think we’ve met properly, I’m (Y/N).”
The fear that was once in his eyes turns to recognition and he smiles, “I’m Kim Namjoon,” you swoon internally, taking note of his cute dimple. “You’re the girl in 1515?”
You scrunched your face taken aback, “Yea, how’d you know?” Now it was your turn to be confused, all this time you hadn’t taken note of his door number at all, just his appearance. He goes to say something, but his eyes get really wide and his gaze shifts to just above your head.
Bambi was approaching. The stag nudged your bag gently, rooting around for more goodies. “Nuh-uh mister, the others haven’t gotten any yet,” you scold the stag switching back to your mother tongue. Bambi obliges and takes a few steps back.
Turning back to Namjoon, his eyes are wide and his jaw dropped. “The deer understands English?”
“Yes and a bit of French actually. His name’s Bambi, he didn’t mean you any harm early. Deer have a great sense of smell, I’m sure he smelled me coming and was running to greet me, since I was late.”
“Late?” He shot you a quizzical look.
“Yea I come here every Sunday to feed the deer.” Bambi nuzzles your bag again signalling to you it was time to go. “I’m sorry I have to go, I’m late on feeding them. I’ll see you around though.” You pick up your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.
“Wait! Would it be alright if I came with you?” He wasn’t sure why he volunteered so eagerly, just moments ago he was certain he was gonna lose his life to that monster deer and now he was opting to possibly being surrounded by more of them. Maybe it was (Y/n)’s charm, but he felt he would regret it if he didn’t follow her.
You scream internally. Naturally you were a bit shy, but had your moments of being extroverted. However, getting the courage to actually say a few sentences to Namjoon just about drained every bit of extroverted energy you had. You smile at him, “Are you sure you recovered from that nose dive into the bushes?”
“Completely,” he lied standing up and brushing the dirt from his pants. The side he fell on throbbed in pain and he could feel a bruise forming, but he could tell nothing was broken.
Although he hid it well, you could still read his pained expression. The responsible side of you wanted to insist he go to the hospital, but a little more selfish side of you wanted to talk with him more. “Okay follow me, it’s not far from here at all.”
You lead the way toward the wooded entrance to the creek with Bambi to your left and Namjoon on your right. It was like a dream, you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t fantasized about talking to him, but you never thought it would happen like this.
“You never told me how you knew I was in 1515.”
“Oh, my mailbox is right next to yours. I often get your mail by mistake.” “Ohhhh.” An awkward silence settles as you two trudge through the melting snow, and you curse yourself for being so shy and awkward.
Also cursing himself for being shy, Namjoon tries to break the silence, “How did you find this spot, anyway? I come to this park all the time and never seen it.”
You chuckle thinking about how you stumbled upon deer creek. “It’s kind of a long story.”
“I’ve got the time,” he smiles reassuring you.
“Well 2 years ago, when I first moved to Korea, I was really lonely because I really didn’t know anybody. I came to this park because it reminded me of home. The weirdest thing happened: I saw this albino rabbit in the brush, but when I took out my phone to get a picture of it, it saw me and started hoping away. I’d never seen one before, and really wanted a picture so I followed it, and I eventually stumbled upon the creek. When I got there deer were everywhere, but all but 2 ran when they saw me. I can’t even remember why but it became my mission to get them to trust me, so I came back every Sunday at the same time and brought them snacks, and the rest is history.”
“You followed, the white rabbit?” He inquires in disbelief. “Like Alice in Wonderland?”
“Exactly,” you nod, “it was dumb and impulsive, and I really don’t know why I did it, and the funny thing is, I see those rabbits all the time now! If I had known how common they were I wouldn’t have chased it in the first place!”
This girl was really something else. Only having properly met a few minutes ago he felt like she was a good friend he’d known for years. It was rather odd. How could he feel so close to someone he’d only just met? One thing was for certain, he did not regret following her into the woods.
My thoughts on the Blood, Sweat, & Tears Jpn vers. in no particular order because my brain’s weird.
- I’m 70% this mv is the result of the Jin statue kiss, he made a deal with Abraxas, him in exchange for V to go with the others to heaven, but it didn’t go the way he expected.
- The scene with JK, V, and Jimin (0:17-0:24); V is moving while everyone else is frozen. It’s also the same scene with (1:40-1:46). Sooo this could mean that V is in total control of the events able to walk away from the scene before it even happens.
-From the Taejin fight I think they are the only one’s completely aware of what’s going on. I think Jin was apologizing for what happened to V, he probably feels responsible for V spiraling out of control. (Also V doesn’t stab Jin, he’s not holding a knife. If you watch the video at 0.25 or 0.5 speed you can see there’s no knife. He’s only holding a knife in the next scene, but it’s completely clean. Probably just for shock factor and to play up the psychopath vibes his character has.)
- Suga has always been the one blocking Jimin from seeing in the BST mvs, but what I don’t get is why???? I think it’s a side story that may or may not have anything to do with the main story line.
- Paint: There are so many scenes of Jin staring into the painting. So many things are covered in paint: JK’s room. Paint. Whenever J-Hope fires an arrow. Paint. After the Taejin fight. (Explosion, shattered glass) Powdered PAint. After Jimin sees the copy of himself he is thrown, more like dragged out of the reality through, you guessed it, P-A-I-N-T PAINT. Are they in the painting? Are they the painting?
- The Jimin meets Jimin paradox: Seen enough sci-fi to know stumbling upon a future/past/parallel reality version of yourself is a huge no no, cause like you’ll break reality and shit gets weird. Tbh all of this just reminds me of when in movies a side character suddenly becomes super important to the story. For example, accidentally stumbling upon something important and getting murdered, or being the only one that can disarm a bomb, or in this case open the right door and break reality creating a wormhole to a parallel universe in which the main character didn’t die so none of his friends did either and everything is hunky dory.
-J-Hope firing an arrow + dart at V for whatever reason, cause he knows he’s bad news bears.
- That hallway Jimin walks down looks a lot like the one Jin walks down in Awake, except Jin’s has the Abracxas wallpaper and Jimin’s is completely bare.
- The wormhole/vortex/black hole thing. I don’t know much, but I’ve seen enough sci-fi films to know wormholes almost always lead to a different dimension. And that quote from BST-K reminds me of it: “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” It’s not a quote that can/should be interpreted literally, but the painting in the void could = chaos, and the wormhole to the parallel univers could = “a dancing star”?
- When Jin meets Rapmon at the gas station, Rapmon doesn’t seem that surprised to see him. Like if your dead friend was suddenly right in front of you I’m 10000% sure “Oh Jin-hyung!” wouldn’t be his response, so I doubt Jin is dead in this reality. He more responds as a friend would if one of your friends showed up at your place of work unexpectedly. Jin could also be saying “long time no see” ironically/sarcastically, but that part is widely up to interpretation.
- I think Jin is either in this new reality to fix things, because in the BST Jpn version it’s still very clear he still feels guilty for everything that happened to his friends, or.... This is a reality in which all of the unfortunate events that lead to this story never happened, which is much more likely.
There are so many theories floating around that are so amazingly complex I feel like a blind, unperceptive potato, but I think a lot of the significance behind Wings and the HYYH trilogy simply lies in the lyrics. While there are definitely mythological and religious references in Bangtan’s newest concept, I think the main theme is about how fame and the idol life has ruined them. In their lyrics, there are topics of conformity, societal standards, identity, loneliness, depression, insecurity - things usually not spoken about in public.
When BTS debuted, their theme was rebellion against the rigid education system. They were optimistic and confident, encouraging fans to follow their own dreams, not just what their parents wanted for them.
Rebel against the hellish society; dreams are a special pardon (No More Dream)
Students who are pressured to be number one live in between dreams and reality… there’s no choice but to consent (N.O)
Live your life, not any other’s lives (O!RUL82? Intro)
It’s during the Skool Luv Affair era that we start seeing hints of unhappiness in their lyrics.
It’s funny, you think anything is possible when you’re a kid, when you feel how hard it is to get through a day (Tomorrow)
I scream out of frustration, but the empty air echoes (Tomorrow)
Yoongi’s intro for HYYH Part I is all about fear, self-doubt, and the pressures of society slowly staining his dreams.
Because of the other’s standard of success, my worries spread like cancer again
I keep getting scared at the looming sense of reality. Others are running ahead but why am I still here?
I always interpreted this ^^ line to mean that Yoongi (and all the “rebellious youth” BTS represents) is finally seeing his classmates succeed in the way society expected them to - the good house, good car mentioned in N.O - and he’s still chasing his dream. He’s beginning to wonder if he made a mistake and is frightened of its consequences. (This will later play a big part in Wings.)
My theory connects I NEED U + PROLOGUE + EPILOGUE + RUN + BST & WINGS short films and also explains what the hell is going on.
I NEED U (original & Japanese versions)
Basically Jin dies (the reason doesn’t matter) and the mv is basically the funeral and the aftermath of Jin’s death. J-Hope self medicates (presumably with antidepressants) and Jimin tries to kill himself by drowning in a bath tub. Both of them seek help and end up in a psychiatric facility, where they eventually both die: J-Hope overdoses on pills and Jimin drowns himself in a bathtub.
Jungkook wanders the streets aimlessly clearly depressed. He gets into fights and eventually walks into the road where he’s hit by a car. (A lot of people think the car missed him, or he got out of the way, but watch the video it didn’t show him moving or the car swerving.) Suga kills himself by burning down his motel room.
Rapmon works a dead end job at a gas station, and is the only one we see actively try to move past Jin’s death. V goes home, probably seeking comfort since his friends are all far too messed up to comfort him, and well... he kills his abusive father.
By the end of INU I’m pretty sure V and Rapmon are the only one’s left alive.
PROLOGUE (ft. references to short film STIGMA)
Picks up following V immediately after killing his abusive father. He makes a call most people think he’s calling Rapmon, but I think he’s calling Jin’s old phone number. He says “Hyung... I want to see you hyung.” This is the last we see of the REAL WORLD, everything after this is no longer reality. Everything we see from now to EPILOGUE is stage 1 of the after life, I refer to it as the Cloaked Labyrinth. Everyone (except Jin) is in the process of dying/recently dead.
Fast forward to the next scene where V is in the empty swimming pool.
After lying down on the filthy mattress he looks at the Polaroid of him and his father. Immediately he knows this isn’t real, but he doesn’t care. (A/N: whether he thinks it’s a dream or knows he’s dead it doesn’t matter.) Anyway he’s lying there and his friends greet him, when Jin shows up he gives him a tight hug, the type of hug you give someone really wanted to see.
Jin also understands this “reality” is an illusion, and like V stays silent. Everyone else thinks it’s just another day hanging out, however they are still in the process of dying/dead. This is shown by Suga reflexively flipping his lighter, Jimin shivering since he’s drowning in cold water, and Rap Mon writing “You need to survive” in the glass. Since Rapmon was the only that tried to move on it’s no surprise that he subconsciously wants to keep living. The illusion is shattered when V jumps.
Every reality comes with rules i.e. real life we have gravity and shit. The rule of the Cloaked Labyrinth is that it uses their collective memories to formulate a reality, kinda like how Google predicts what you’re gonna type based on the things you search. This is evidence by, Jin and his Polaroids. He showed the guys a picture of the ocean and suggests they go there. He had the photo from before probably because when he was alive he had gone there on his own and taken the picture (and the selfie we see at the end of the video) and thought, “Hey I should bring my friends here sometime.” That’s why Rapmon and Suga didn’t show up in the picture with him. It only use memories it CANNOT make new ones. V jumping basically crashed the “reality” and forces it to reboot... giving us the events in RUN.
RUN
Cloaked Labyrinth continues: Stage 1b.
**I’m pretty sure the scenes of V in the water are more of a distraction than anything, if anything it’s meant to more closely link RUN to PROLOGUE.
The illusion changes to be layered? For lack of a better term. Like it has Jimin and Jhope in the psychiatric unit, and V and Rapmon vandalizing stuff. At some point Suga realizes it isn’t real and lashes out. JK tries calm him down and convince him otherwise, and they get into a fight. Suga breaks the rule of the Cloaked Labyrinth by breaking the mirror, something he hadn’t done in the real world, changing their fight into a wild party. JK sees it happen and is dazed.
By now Jimin is doubting the “reality” and Jin, V, Suga, and JK know it’s fake. When Jimin, JK, and Jin share a knowing look, the seen changes to them blocking the tunnel. Run ends with Jimin looking at Jin’s Polaroid of them on the beach and realizes the events of PROLOGUE weren’t real, only a convincing version of real memory.
EPILOGUE
Eventually they all realize their “reality”is an illusion, and they can finally see it for what it is... A LABYRINTH. They’re forced to confront their past in order to move one. They all get through it with little difficulty, except for V who struggles and ends up falling behind. From the camera shot of him being right side up and everyone else upside down, things aren’t looking great for him. His struggle getting through the maze ultimately shapes his character in BST.
BST + SHORT FILMS
*I almost positive Demian is just an inspiration for the BST concept, I don’t think it’s meant to be the overall concept.
To understand the concepts of the Short Films and BST, they can’t be thought about as having to be viewed in a specific order, because the story simply doesn’t make sense when watched that way. It makes more sense that the short films 1-6 happen at the same time as BST and 7 is right after.
In BST they’re seen consuming absinthe in various ways. (Absinthe is an extremely potent hallucinogen). I think the short films are supposed to be their absinthe hallucinations. The short films for the most part confirm how they die. The short films however are connected because of their strong bond of both friendship and proximity. Ex: JK and Rapmon consume absinthe in the same room and in their short films they have that letter with the raven on it. Jimin and Suga consume absinthe together and Jimin’s bathtub is visible in both the short films. I could go on, but this post is already long enough.
Jin is forever different from the others while everyone else is messing around he is more interested in looking at the art. V, whose soul was permanently corrupted, covers Jin’s eyes to reveal the winged statue. And here’s where the video leaves us open to interpretation: I think the kiss symbolizes a deal being made, Jin goes downstairs in exchange for his friends, particularly V whom his death had the worst effect on.
AWAKE pics up immediately after BST. Jin was able to see all of their absinthe dreams and is racked with guilt. Not sure why he can, but if I had to guess it would be one of two reasons: 1. Since he’s been dead the longest he simply doesn’t need it or 2. Since he’s basically ground zero of the whole mess he’s affected by the absinthe without consuming it. Jin basically has to deal with the aftermath of BST, what kissing the statue means for his fate. He doesn’t want to leave his friends again, but he can’t forgive himself for what his death did to them. (If you listen to the lyrics of AWAKE short film the lyrics somewhat explain it.)
