-- stentorianAdroitness [SA] began pestering taffetaHabiliment [TH] at 16:23 --
SA: EMILET.
TH: sen pai
SA: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HOW ARE YOU?
TH: was just do ing a shoot
TH: so you know
TH: im fan tas tic
SA: THAT IS GOOD. HOWEVER YOU ARE NOT SOUNDING FANTASTIC.
SA: BUT TEXT IS ALSO FUCKING HARD TO READ.
TH: ive been bored
TH: what have you been do ing
SA: MOSTLY WORKING OUT. READING. DRAWING.
TH: augh
TH: more bo ring
TH: stop hav ing a bor ing tu na
TH: stop hav ing a bor ing life
SA: VERY SAD. THIS IS WHAT I CANNOT HELP.
SA: DOOMED TO HAVE A BORING LIFE AND EXISTENCE.
SA: YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING TO FIX THE BOREDOM YOU ARE HAVING.
TH: nah
TH: ill just both er you more
SA: THEN THE BOREDOM WILL PERSIST.
SA: WILL HE PERISH FROM IT? PERHAPS.
SA: HAD THE CHANCE DID NOT GET HIS LIFE. VERY SAD.
TH: have no chance to sur vive make your time
SA: IF TIME IS BEING MADE AGAINST MY WILL THEN SOMETHING FUN WILL HAPPEN.
SA: HE IS CERTAIN HE FEELS "FANTASTIC".
TH: yes fan tas tic
TH: there is noth ing fake ab out that word
SA: AM MAKING SURE. YOU HAVE GIVEN ME MANY CONCERNS LATELY.
SA: MORE THAN USUALNESS.
SA: BUT THE LATELY HAS BECOME THE USUAL, PROLONGED CONCERN FEELING.
TH: thats weird
TH: i feel like ev er y one has had less con cerns
TH: the smol lest con cerns im ag in ab le
SA: OH. IS THIS TRUE.
TH: yes
TH: seems like im bet ter off not lea ving my room at all
SA: AND WHAT MAKES HIM FEEL THIS WAY?
SA: THAT THERE ARE SO LITTLE CONCERNS.
TH: pos si bly has to do with the fact that when ev er i leave my room i get my shit pushed in
SA: WHO IS PUSHING IN THE SHIT. PUSH THEM BACK
TH: fuck ing life i guess
SA: THAT IS A PISS PORR ANSWER. BUT IN WHICH CASE PUSH LIFE BACK.
SA: WE HAD THE CONVERSATIONS OF HIM ROLLING OVER.
TH: yeah we have
TH: i guess youre right
SA: YOU SAY THAT AND YOU AGREE BUT YOU DO NOT DO THINGS WHEN THEY HAPPEN.
TH: well may be im done do ing noth ing
TH: did you on ly come here to ask me how im do ing
SA: AH. NO. MOSTLY, TO CHECK ON YOU.
SA: ALSO JUST, TALK.
TH: well as you can see i am mak ing po si tive de ve lop ments
TH: noth ing to wor ry ab out here
SA: STILL DO NOT BELIEVE THAT.
SA: CATCHING THE SCENT OF BULLSHIT.
TH: just bec ause my mood is bull shit does nt mean my words are lol
SA: THE MOOD SHOULD NOT BE BULLSHIT EITHER.
TH: cant do much ab out that
SA: MMN.
SA: WE WILL.
SA: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
SA: THE DOOR. OPEN IT. IT IS ME, BULLSHIT FREE.
EMILET: ....
EMILET: *he slowly turns toward the door in his chair... opens it with psionics*
EMILET: are you sure ab out that
SATOMI: *she stands there. Looking over him while putting her comm away* ,....I HOPE ANYWAY.
SATOMI: WILL TRY.
SATOMI: YOU WILL TRY ALSO.
EMILET: ... okay?
EMILET: **o kay
EMILET: *he's got a bad feeling about this*
SATOMI: *NO, SHUT UP IT'S GONNA BE FUN. She would've just come over but has felt weird around him and it shouldn't be that way so just fucking NORMALCY*
SATOMI: *walks on in and gestures to him* WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DID SHOOTS FOR TODAY?
EMILET: ga ku po
EMILET: the vo ca lo id
SATOMI: ARE THEY ON THE BLOG? HE HAS NOT POSTED THEM. *just wild gesturing at, is he on the couch or at the computer she's gonna. Hover. Like usual* SHOW ME THIS.
EMILET: *he's totally sitting at his computer chair* ya re ya re i was e di ting them sen pai ha ha
EMILET: *clicks over to the PHOTOSHOP*
SATOMI: *hovers and looks at them pics* DRAMATIC. SURPRISED HE DID NOT HAVE A FAN ALSO BLOWING THE HAIR GENTLY.
EMILET: yeah well see thats why i need you there
EMILET: youre my on ly real fan :-(
SATOMI: NO I DO NOT THINK THIS IS TRUE. HE HAS MANY FANS.
EMILET: i said reeeaaaall fan
EMILET: god
SATOMI: STILL TRUE. YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE FANS.
EMILET: im just fuck ing ar ound stop be ing lo gi cal at me
EMILET: youre throw ing off my groove
EMILET: thats go ing to be my next cos play by the way
SATOMI: TCH. *Huffs at herself though*
SATOMI: THE LLAMA?
SATOMI: YES HE WILL MAKE A GOOD LLAMA.
EMILET: no not the lla ma
EMILET: the hu man ver sion of the lla ma
EMILET: the troll hu man ver sion of that lla ma that is
EMILET: the tru man ver sion if you will
SATOMI: *snorts* I STILL THINK HE WOULD KILL THE LLAMA VERSION. VERY ANIMATED.
SATOMI: JOIN THE FURTROOP BRIGADE.
SATOMI: THEY ARE ALWAYS ACCEPTING NEW MEMBERS.
EMILET: no..............
EMILET: no
EMILET: i will pas
EMILET: by which i mean pass
EMILET: and not paws
EMILET: which is de fi nite ly how that soun ded
SATOMI: HE HAS GREAT POTENTIAL.
EMILET: i think you mean paw ten tial
EMILET: :-/
SATOMI: NO BECAUSE IT IS NOT ME IT IS YOU.
EMILET: you sure ab out that..........
EMILET: *eyeballs her*
EMILET: im sure theres a fur ry fuck in there some where
SATOMI: *hand to chest and scoffs* NEVER HAS BEEN, TO MY KNOWLEDGE... LIKELY NOT. AND NOT IN THE FUTURE. I HAVE STANDARDS.
EMILET: nyaaaaa desu
SATOMI: *EUGH*DISGUSTING.
EMILET: :3c
EMILET: :-3c
EMILET: *fuck...*
SATOMI: *AHA, only she just nyooms a pillow over and whaps his face* GET YOUR NYAS AWAY FROM ME.
SATOMI: I AM PURE.
SATOMI: HAVING NONE OF THIS.
EMILET: *shoves pillow aside*
EMILET: *soulja boy voice* nyaaa bitch nyaaaa
SATOMI: *Whap* DATED NYAS.
SATOMI: THESE ARE EVEN WORSE.
EMILET: *LAUGHS*
EMILET: yeah i bet youve da ted nyas
EMILET: *TURNED IT AROUND!!!*
SATOMI: .......*War flashbacks*
SATOMI: *pushes his chair away from the desk*
SATOMI: *Drags up another chair and sits there* BANNED.
SATOMI: 100% BANNED.
SATOMI: IT IS YOU.
EMILET: you cant ban me this is my turf
SATOMI: BANNED FROM HIS OWN TURF. VERY SAD, VERY PATHETIC.
EMILET: guess ill just go fuck my self
EMILET: *rolls closer to her instead*
SATOMI: PREFERRABLY NOT IN THE BANNED AREA.
EMILET: *8-)*
EMILET: oh am i banned from you too
SATOMI: *peeps that closeness*
SATOMI: THERE WILL BE NONE FUCKING SELF ON ME. *You wanna get whapped son?*
EMILET: but thats the on ly self ive got
EMILET: and it wants to be on you
SATOMI: *mmm settles into normalcy. Yep* THE SHIT IS VERY TOUGH FOR THAT SELF.
EMILET: that sounds un com for ta ble ill pass
SATOMI: THAT IS THE BEST DECISION FOR THE SELF. *TOPIC CHANGE* WE SHOULD WATCH SOMETHING.
SATOMI: THEN THE SELF WILL FIND COMFORT.
EMILET: im al rea dy watch ing you
EMILET: :-)
SATOMI: SOMETHING GOOD.
EMILET: :-)
SATOMI: *slowly lifts the pillow to his face and turns to pull up some fuckin ANIME THATS WHAT. Which one she doesn't really care.=
SATOMI: *Oh fuck. One Piece Fanime. Perfect.*
EMILET: why do you in sist on smo ther ing me.........
EMILET: *leans toward her with pillow. he's gonna smush it against her face.*
SATOMI: IT IS A NATURAL REFLEX... >:T *smushed against*
EMILET: so is-- ne ver mind ha ha haaaa
SATOMI: ...IS? *squints*
EMILET: noth ing sen pai
EMILET: :-)
SATOMI: *SIGH*
SATOMI: IS THIS THE MOOD BULLSHITTING?
EMILET: nah
EMILET: i was go ing to say some thing ab out my dick that time
SATOMI: THEN YES. THIS IS BEST KEPT TO HIMSELF. *Ih he's still squished on her pillow and all she just. Nudges face away and clicks on some delish fanmade parodies*
EMILET: what are you do ing
SATOMI: WATCHING A PARODY, YOU SHOULD WATCH THIS ALSO.
EMILET: watch this
EMILET: youre gon na love my nuts
EMILET: *peeps*
SATOMI: I WILL CRUSH THEM. *Who doesn't love comedic fandubs*
EMILET: d o n t
SATOMI: I MAY.
EMILET: pls
SATOMI: IT IS TEMPTING. BUT MAYBE I WILL NOT. IT DEPENDS.
EMILET: i have per mis sion from my sen pai to fight if you do
SATOMI: THEN LET US HOPE YOU DO NOT SUCK AT FIGHTING.
EMILET: >:-C
SATOMI: DOES THE FACE MEAN YOU DO?
SATOMI: I THINK SO.
EMILET: pro ba bly
SATOMI: YOU DO.
EMILET: he dooooooooooo
SATOMI: YES. HE DOOO NOT KNOW SHIT ABOUT SELF-PROTECTION.
EMILET: god damn it
SATOMI: WHY DAMN THE IT?
SATOMI: WHAT THE FUCK HAS THE IT DONE TO YOU?
EMILET: it gave me a tra gic back sto ry
SATOMI: ARE YOU SURE IT WAS THE IT.
EMILET: it was
SATOMI: MANY THINGS CAN CONTRIBUTE TO TRAGIC BACKSTORIES.
EMILET: it can on ly be
EMILET: the it
SATOMI: YOUR TRAGIC BACKSTORY, THE IT WAS IN?
EMILET: it was real in.....
EMILET: real far in
SATOMI: ................ *stares*
EMILET: *stares back*
EMILET: :-)
SATOMI: *snorts and leans on te desk, cheek in hand*
SATOMI: I HAVE MISSED YOU. SILLY YOLK.
EMILET: *oh... no....*
SATOMI: FILLED WITH THE HAM AND CHEESE. IT'S YOU.
EMILET: *why is this making him so emotional all of a sudden???*
EMILET: *and why does he feel like such an asshole about it???*
EMILET: *probably because he is kind of an asshole*
EMILET: i miss you too
SATOMI: *Sighs softly and is just quiet for a moment. Averting her gace from him to the computer screen where the parody has gotten zero laughs* AH.... WE GOOFED THROUGH IT.
SATOMI: SAYS SO MUCH FOR QUALITY YES? NOT ATTENTION GETTING.
EMILET: i dont mind
EMILET: i like you more
SATOMI: *drags the mouse some and gives a little lopsided shrug, forces small smile* THE JOKES WERE CRAP. THE COMPETITION WAS MINIMAL.
EMILET: ha ha dont give me that shit
EMILET: or do
EMILET: you are cute be ing tsun de re
SATOMI: STOP. *gentle whaps, actually uses her hand this time at least*
EMILET: *grabs her hand* no
SATOMI: *regurt. Stares at the computer and pouts, just trying not to say anything* >:c
SATOMI: SHOULD.
EMILET: wont
SATOMI: *exhales, curling her fingers* EMILET. THIS IS, THE NORMAL. YES. HAHA. I WOULD FLIP MY SHIT MAYBE.
SATOMI: OR SAY SNARKY THING.
SATOMI: WITH THREATS THAT MAY BE EMPTY.
SATOMI: NO SUCH THOUGHTS COME TO MIND, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT... TO DO. WITH EVEN THIS VERY SIMPLE ACTION.
EMILET: *well... he's not sure what to do, either, but maybe he's trying to figure it out. maybe he wants to. maybe he's always wanted to, and it's only now that he has an excuse not to, because he's that kind of fucking idiot.*
EMILET: i dont care
EMILET: i just want
EMILET: you
SATOMI: ....HAH. HAHAHA. YOU SHOULD! *Actually she doesn't have energy for this. That wide smile disappearing as she just, huffs* YOU CANNOT. YOU WILL NOT. AND I WILL NOT DO THAT. DO THIS. CAUSE THE. CONFUSION.
SATOMI: *pulls her hand back* ALREADY CAUSED ENOUGH. SAID ENOUGH TO BOTH.
SATOMI: I AM THERE FOR YOU. HERE. JUST. NEEDING TO FIGURE OUT. IT IS MY PROBLEM TO FIX.
EMILET: *he had hardly realized what had come out of his own mouth until Satomi was replying to it, the implications of it, and immediately, he felt warm in the face. had he really meant it like that?? maybe he had convinced himself he had just meant he wanted her honesty. wasnt that how he meant it?*
EMILET: i
EMILET: no
EMILET: i mean
EMILET: *he's having a hard time looking at her again.*
EMILET: you dont have to
EMILET: know
SATOMI: *sighs and rubs her face* CAME WITH THE BULLSHIT REGARDLESS. *laughs into her hands*
SATOMI: AH..... AM SORRY.
SATOMI: WE WILL MOVE ON. GET BACK TO THE NORMAL.
SATOMI: *gets up from her chair to rudely go through his movies. They can do this*
EMILET: *now he's just frowning, glancing at her. why when he's trying to get his shit together do things seem to be making less and less sense?? it was comfortable before, safe, in its own way. but this, it's terrifying. trying to figure out how he feels, what he wants, what to do. what's right.*
EMILET: sa to mi
SATOMI: *waves hand* KOUHAI.
EMILET: i dont know what to do ei ther
SATOMI: *pauses, going over the movies* FOCUS ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE NOW. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO.
SATOMI: AND WE WILL GO BACK TO BEING TERRIBLE TOGETHER.
SATOMI: THE END IS SIMPLE. WE WILL GET THERE.
EMILET: i dont know whats im por tant
EMILET: *except he kind of does, but that's scary, too.*
SATOMI: *now she turns. Her eyes focused on him* YOU DO KNOW. HE IS IMPORTANT. *He who haseverything and appreciates nothing but maybe that is something else they have in common. Not seeing what people who carefor them do* FOCUS ON THAT. WE WILL. FOCUS ON OTHER THINGS. *picks up a random movie. One of the InuYasha ones* LIKE THIS.
EMILET: *he's just staring at her now, brows knitting, and he almost feels sort of frustrated. why? why is she telling him what to care about? why can't he just care about her? what does she think she knows about how he feels? why can't /she/ hear him, even when she says she does, always blocking him out and fighting him? of course he hasn't made it easy, but maybe he's sick of that, too.*
EMILET: no
EMILET: thats not
EMILET: what im say ing
EMILET: thats not how im feel ing
SATOMI: *makes a face, maybe irritation but just overall tiredness. Holding this DVD but also looking back at him* THEN WHAT IS IT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING I AM NOT GRASPING.
EMILET: im just
EMILET: say ing
EMILET: you
SATOMI: ....ME.
EMILET: yeah you
EMILET: youre im por tant
EMILET: why cant i just say that
SATOMI: *HUFFS* BECAUSE. IT IS NOT. SO. NOT... A PART OF THE. IT IS NOT A PART OF THIS PROBLEM.
EMILET: yes it is!
SATOMI: EMILET. NOT PART OF YOUR PROBLEM.
EMILET: you dont know shit ab out my prob lem then
EMILET: i think you just want to pre tend you dont know
EMILET: ev en when i tell you to your face
EMILET: may be i want to pre tend too
EMILET: fuck i dont
SATOMI: I ONLY KNOW IT. WOULD BE EASIER.
SATOMI: IT WOULD BE BETTER.
EMILET: would it be
EMILET: i dont know
SATOMI: *frowns and studies his face* HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW? IT WOULD.
EMILET: *there's something in what she says that just makes him feel... empty. so stupid for it, for all of this, for caring, for trying. every thought, every feeling just felt like a new mistake begging to happen. and it was tiring. not knowing, always failing, it was tiring. he stops looking at her. he looks at his computer screen instead, not really looking.*
EMILET: put in the mo vie
SATOMI: =Ugh. This doesn't feel right. She's not doing this right but how does one even do this right? Satomi watches him, griping the DVD case and feels that swell of what she doesn't want filling her chest= WHAT IS IT YOU EVEN WANT!? THINGS TO BE NORMAL? TO BE COMPLICATED?
SATOMI: I AM NOT. I DON'T WANT TO NOT, LISTEN. TO NOT. CONSIDER YOUR FEELINGS BUT WHAT TO DO WITH THIS? =Her fist comes to her chest, making a hard thump= I CANNOT CHANGE THAT, THIS! WHAT IS IT YOU EXPECT!? GO BACK TO GOOFY BEHAVIORS? LAUGHING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENS? IT IS HURT IN HERE, I DO NOT WANT IT! IT IS FUCKING STUPID! HAVE TO WORK AROUND THIS? WE... =She huffs trying to fight the pale red that lines her eyes=
SATOMI: TELL ME. WHAT IS IT? WHAT ELSE IS SOLUTION? WHAT ELSE TO FIX THIS ALL!?
EMILET: -he watches her, and... he isn't sure how he feels, only that. it hurts for him, too. in the end, that's what it comes down to, and why? what for? what he's supposed to do, he doesn't know. he has to look away from her, tears welling in his eyes just the same.-
EMILET: i dont
EMILET: know
EMILET: -it hurt not to have an answer. it hurt to feel so lost, all the time, always.-
EMILET: i dont know how to fix a ny thing
SATOMI: FIX WHAT YOU HAVE NOW. START THERE. HAVE SAID THIS. ALL OTHER THINGS NOT IMPORTANT.
SATOMI: =She's grateful his gaze isn't anywhere near her. She has to pause to calm down, she thought she got this all out before. But no, the gnawing ache was still there. Still wringing her insides. Satomi wipes her eyes and sighs=
EMILET: you say that but how the fuck am i sup posed to--
EMILET: how can ev er y one else not be im por tant
EMILET: ev er y one else is what im al ways fuck ing up to be gin with
SATOMI: IT IS NOT THE SAME. NOT THE SAME IMPORTANCE.
SATOMI: DOES NOT NEED ATTENTION NOW, AFTER YOU SORT YOURSELF. YOUR RELATIONSHIP. THEN OTHER THINGS. NOT NOW.
EMILET: -he doesn't know what to say. the whole thing is frustrating, but he doesn't want to be frustrated with her, even if a part of him can't help but to be. he wants to make this better, to make himself better. to help her. to tell her whatever she needs to hear. and he just doesn't know.-
EMILET: fine
EMILET: o k
SATOMI: YOU HAVE SAID THAT BEFORE. THOSE EXACT WORDS PROBABLY.
EMILET: if you want me to stop talk ing to you ab out this then fine
EMILET: may be we just
EMILET: cant
EMILET: do this
SATOMI: ...... =She wants to help. Maybe its selfish that she wants to be the one to help him fix it. Maybe someone else would be better to tell him=
SATOMI: ....PERHAPS.... HAH.
SATOMI: AM KIND OF. NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
EMILET: thats fine
EMILET: i get it
EMILET: i dont ex pect you to
SATOMI: =It still felt vastly inappropriate to try and touch him so she only shrugged= AM STILL. HERE. AT LEAST.
EMILET: .... yeah
EMILET: -he wants that to be more comforting, but maybe it just has to be what it is right now. he feels frustrated enough with himself to let it go.-
SATOMI: =shes still tired only that much more so. She gestures to the movie and finally goes to put it on. Kind of wishing things could be simple like these stories with their happy endings and closure=
EMILET: -maybe it's just time to face the fact that he's a fucking mess, and he needs to find somewhere better to dump it. he just wants her to be happy... for things to be better. he doesn't know how, but he has to find some way. he takes another moment just to sit there, and then he's moving for the couch, because he wants things to be at least... okay. even if they aren't normal.-