Tafila

perempuan biasa

[tafila]

Currently in looove with this song. When Coldplay were still so young 😍

[tafila]

if there is something you want to tell to your brother and sister, what is it?

that i love them, that they will always be my priority, that i’m so lucky to have them, that i believe they could achieve anything in life as long as they keep on believing and work for it

[tafila]

Black sling bag, black shoes and khaki coat as daily outfit & naik turun tangga lima lantai as daily routine 😂

Setiap pagi saya harus keluar kamar pukul 6.28--sharp. Dilanjutkan dengan berlari-lari kecil menuruni tangga dan berjalan menuju halte bus di dekat flat yang semuanya membutuhkan waktu sekitar 4 menit. Saya harus naik bus pukul 6.32 (adrenaline junkie by nature + kalau nunggu di halte terlalu lama nanti beku), untuk dapat sampai di rumah sakit sekitar pukul 7.10.

Bus yang lewat di halte dekat flat saya tinggal memang agak kejam. Di halte bus lain, biasanya supir bus akan menunggu kalau ada orang yang terlihat berlari-lari ingin menaiki bus. Tapi saya pernah sekali ketinggalan bus, meskipun sudah berlari-lari, dan sudah berjarak sekitar dua meter dari pantat bus. Bahkan di akhir pekan juga begitu, teman saya yang waktu itu sedang mampir ke flat, sampai berlari menyeberangi rumput-rumput--dan tetap ditinggal.

There is something i like about German, that they are fast, but not rush. I’ll write separate post about it.

[tafila]

Lesson #1: Trust & Encouragement

Pesawat yang mengantarkan saya mendarat dengan lancar di bandara Frankfurt, pada sore hari penghujung bulan April yang cerah. Ratusan orang yang kakinya tidak diluruskan dengan benar selama berjam-jam bergerak teratur memadati garbarata, masuk ke gedung bandara, kemudian berbaur bersama gerombolan orang lainnya.

Kelompok orang-orang ini bergerak seirama. Cepat. Tegas. Baru lambat laun terlihat seseorang yang geraknya berbeda dari kelompok tersebut. Semakin lama semakin tertinggal di barisan belakang. Hingga akhirnya benar-benar sendirian. Seorang pria yang membutuhkan usaha lebih untuk berjalan, membuatnya tidak bisa lebih lama menyamai kecepatan dengan orang-orang di sekitarnya.

Orang dengan handicap pertama yang saya lihat di benua Eropa. Di hari-hari berikutnya saya bertemu dengan seseorang yang bekerja sebagai kasir toko brand fashion ternama di pusat kota dan seorang dokter bedah (tidak termasuk orang-orang yang saya lihat sepintas di jalan-jalan).

Beberapa kali di bus, saya menemukan bahwa orang-orang disini cenderung mengamati dan menunggu beberapa saat sampai memutuskan untuk memberi bantuan atau tidak (semisal pada orang tua yang menggunakan tongkat saat naik bus). Pada akhirnya tetap menolong, hanya saja ada semacam jeda waktu, untuk mengukur kemampuan orang yang terlihat perlu ditolong tersebut.

Disini, saya belajar bahwa ada orang-orang, di belahan lain di dunia ini, yang tidak menunjukkan kindness dengan rasa simpati atau kasihan. Disini, mereka menunjukkan kindness dengan trust dan encouragement.

Tanpa trust dan encouragement dari orang-orang terdekat, dan masyarakat secara luas, mungkin, laki-laki di bandara itu tidak bisa berjalan-jalan bebas dan melihat dunia, kasir toko fashion tidak bisa bertemu dan menyapa orang dalam satu hari sebanyak sekarang ini, dan dunia akan kehilangan satu dokter bedah terbaik.

[wordsnquotes]

Be commited, not attatched. But more importantly, know the difference.

Kai, Lessons in life #21 (via wordsnquotes)

[tafila]

The difference between words and action : self control. *always be my field of interest* *cause i talk too much* *come on frontal lobe*

[tafila]

If you turn this book backward, you’ll see whole pages full of detailed plans, dreams, and goals.

My head is always full of dreams. Only by that way i could have strong reason to get up in the morning, have something on my to-do list everyday, forced to improve myself, make me have no time to pay attention of daily shits in life, make me move faster, keep my mind busy.

My head is always full of dreams, always has to be filled by dreams. The only way to move on, or wake up from one dream, is to create the new one.

But this one is not easy though. I have, always, wanted, to go to europe. More than i want to become a doctor. This ‘whole idea of going to europe’ has been planted in my mind since i was child. Based on every childhood book i’ve read, every picture in encyclopaedia i saw. It affects my whole point of view about life, my personality, my preferences, my important decisions, everything.

And now i get the chance to see, and to do, everything i have always wanted. I got placed in a beautiful city, with river, swans, flowers, birds, coffee shop, ice cream shop, buses, and pretty old houses. I went shop after work, cook my dinner in a nice kitchen, watch people playing music at downtown, stroll around the city while listening to my favourite song, study in public library, read and eat by the river bank, something i can’t do in my home country.

My heart’s full, surged by the fact that i’ve fulfilled many, many of my childhood bucket lists.

Now i’m reaching the ending of the ‘whole story of going to europe’. Leaving myself numb, empty, with ineffable feeling.

What would i do after this? Should i become acquisitive, by saying that these 30 days of stay is only the beginning, what so called test the water, of the bigger dream as a young adult? Or should i feel content and enough, keeping every cherished memories, every achieved dreams as a little girl? Should i go back one day to fulfill few things left unchecked, or move on to figure out another kind of dreams and happiness?

But right now, i have nothing else to do except coming home, to finish one big responsibility lying ahead : my study. I realise that i still have so many things i have to catch up with. I have to take a long break of being so overly planned and detail. I love being here, but it’s not my place, it’s not where i belong. At least for now. I have my family, my friends, my study, my career, at home.

It’s only one month. What could i expect? I can’t expect myself to change to a brand new Alifa soon when i landed home. But i’m here to say that these last 30 days were totally full of magics, experiences, lessons that i believe would give a huge impact for me to become a better person. Change is a long process. And i’ll do it with patience.

I couldn’t ask for more blessings from Allah SWT–for covering and forgiving my mistakes, for letting me get what i want, deciding the best fates, guide me, protect me, and give me hidayah. And couldn’t ask for a better parent–for their trust, endless support, and love, and for my brother and sister too, who’s always proud of me instead of jealous, and for asking very simple things to bring them home.

Will flight back home in few days . . . . After few more getaways!

[tafila]

Courage is sometime misunderstood.

As,

denying all the risks you’re facing

ignoring people opinions

becoming numb and cold

walking straight toward your goal

being alone

or being different.

But the truth are,

listing every fears and calculating the risk before you start

listen and understand every opinion, good or bad

able to feel, immersed into the depth of various emotions

being open to choices and possibilities

dealing with people

and compromize with society.

That’s courage.

Have courage, dear heart.

[wordsnquotes]

I hate small talk. I want to talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favourite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fears. I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind.

Breagha Young (via wordsnquotes)

I don't hate it but i just can-not do it 😱 But should be reminded that some people may not comfortable with certain topic too

[tafila]

Maudy Ayunda - My Student Life at Oxford

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Actually, I just woke up one day and decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. so I changed. just like that.

curiano.com (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[tafila]

Whom you are attached to?

The one who makes you happy? (but isn’t it too frail if we rely our happiness, on human?)

The one who makes you comfort? (but there is no growth in comfort zone, isn’t it?)

The one who needs you, and clingy into you? (but don’t you want to see them stand still, independently, know what they are going to do with their life?)

The one who is kind?

The one who is extraordinary?

The one who loves you?

The one who you love?

Or,

The one who is growing, and also force you to be a growing person everyday? Knowing their imperfections, and accept your imperfections as well?

[tafila]

[abeauutifulpatience]

No one who followed their heart has ever gotten lost. But love sometimes means letting go. And sometimes means holding on. Yet you’ll never know the difference, unless you quiet the outer noise. And listen. Carefully. From the inside. That’s where your answer lies. On the inside. Your answer is already there. It always has been. So listen carefully. But once you find it, have the courage to follow. Have courage, dear heart. No one who followed their heart has ever gotten lost.

Yasmin Mogahed (via abeauutifulpatience)

[tafila]

Monthly dose of motivation (on super physically emotionally tiring week 😭)

[tafila]

Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors

Andrew Boyd

[tafila]

Saya selalu suka kedai kopi. Entah karena interiornya yang di desain untuk menciptakan suasana hangat dan nyaman, bau kopi yang enak, rasa minuman dan makanan yang enak, atau aura-aura menyenangkan yang terlihat dari orang-orang yang berada di dalamnya. Orang-orang yang tertawa-tawa akrab, atau serius membaca dan menatap layar. Orang-orang yang ketika mereka keluar dari pintu ruangan ini, siap kembali melanjutkan banyak rencana.

Ada banyak lagu-lagu bagus yang menceritakan tentang kedai kopi ataupun kopi. Landon pigg, copeland, blur, whiteshoes. Seakan-akan dibuat supaya semua orang yang mendengarkan bisa langsung merasakan suasana diatas. Seakan-akan semua orang otomatis memang merasakan hal yang sama, setuju dengan suasana kedai kopi.

Di antara orang-orang yang terlihat sangat menikmati hari ini, atau serius mengejar hari esok, ada seorang pria yang kerap mondar-mandir. Geraknya gelisah dan canggung, sorot matanya tidak fokus. Sesekali melihat jam tangan atau mengusap wajah. Ia membukakan pintu untuk orang-orang yang masuk, kadang mengembalikan kursi atau membereskan meja. Pria itu mengenakan jaket hitam kasual dengan kartu identitas. Sepertinya petugas keamanan?

Saya tidak terlalu sering pergi ke kedai kopi. Tapi saya tetap selalu suka dengan suasananya. Bagaimana dengan bapak petugas keamanan itu? Setiap hari dia bisa berada di tempat yang menyenangkan seperti ini.

Semoga ketika dia pulang, rumahnya sehangat dan semenyenangkan disini.