it’s 2:47 AM and jaebum sits slumped on his desk after losing another bout with insomnia.
this isn’t the first time he has done this. no. the words he is writing make up the body of his 23rd letter. he writes and writes even when he knows that he will never send them nor will the addressee ever be able to read them. for now, this is the only way he can cope.
it’ll have to do.
dearest kihyun,
i never know when or how you’ll be able to read this but here i am still foolishly writing you like a lovesick school boy. you will perhaps be delighted to know that you have succeeded in doing something no one else has ever achieved - you have broken down all my defenses and turned me into a fool. a fool for you. i have always been a punctual person but for once in my life, i was too late in telling you the most important thing. we talked about so many things and spent almost all our time together but i never found the right moment to tell you something i really wanted to.
and now you’re not here. i’m all alone and filled only with regret. this is the worst feeling and i hope that wherever you are, you are much happier. i always told you that you deserved to be happy and i always prayed for it. kihyun-ah, please be happy. i miss you everyday but when i think about you being happy - even if it’s in place far away from me and even if i can no longer reach you now - the lonely me is momentarily concerned.
wherever you are, know that i, im jaebum, love you. i wish i had told you sooner but i love you more than i have ever loved anyone. and i still do. very much so.
