i didn't sign up for this shit

IM JAEBUM College boy JB by day Cardcaptor Rigel by night League of Busan President Only 22 and Tsundere af True power is not measured by strength or ability; it’s about doing your best to protect those you love.

[ccjaebum-blog]

h i r a e t h - -

letters to you ; part 1 

it’s 2:47 AM and jaebum sits slumped on his desk after losing another bout with insomnia. 

this isn’t the first time he has done this. no. the words he is writing make up the body of his 23rd letter. he writes and writes even when he knows that he will never send them nor will the addressee ever be able to read them. for now, this is the only way he can cope. 

it’ll have to do. 

dearest kihyun, 

i never know when or how you’ll be able to read this but here i am still foolishly writing you like a lovesick school boy. you will perhaps be delighted to know that you have succeeded in doing something no one else has ever achieved - you have broken down all my defenses and turned me into a fool. a fool for you. i have always been a punctual person but for once in my life, i was too late in telling you the most important thing. we talked about so many things and spent almost all our time together but i never found the right moment to tell you something i really wanted to. 

and now you’re not here. i’m all alone and filled only with regret. this is the worst feeling and i hope that wherever you are, you are much happier. i always told you that you deserved to be happy and i always prayed for it. kihyun-ah, please be happy. i miss you everyday but when i think about you being happy - even if it’s in place far away from me and even if i can no longer reach you now - the lonely me is momentarily concerned. 

wherever you are, know that i, im jaebum, love you. i wish i had told you sooner but i love you more than i have ever loved anyone. and i still do. very much so. 

please be happy always. 

yours,  jaebum

[ccjaebum-blog]

💫 prisoners of the past

star light, shine bright for @ccxkana

there used to be time when sleeping through the night was possible, when there were no nightmares that played on loop behind his closed lids, when he didn’t wake up drenched in tears and drowning in guilt. it feels like a lifetime away now and remembering them only provides torture rather than relief. 

this isn’t the first time that jaebum has camped out at one of the local 24-hour starbucks, downing cup after cup of coffee in hopes that sunrise comes faster so that he can at least pretend to do something worthwhile other than wasting the hours away doing nothing just because he’s sick and tired of living in the memories of his past. the coffee shop is devoid of its usual energetic crowd so jaebum has the liberty to stretch out comfortably in the booth he has been camping out in since he got here. 

1:31 AM 

“only five more hours ‘til sunrise.” he declares with mild amusement, looking at the girl with him. “i guess bitter coffee really does work wonders for the heartbroken.” 

[ccjaebum-blog]

💫 chococo

star light, shine bright for @ccmina

“so let me warn you again...” jaebum starts off while looking at the bowl of melted chocolate like it has personally offended him. “i am a kitchen hazard so this probably won’t go very well.” there’s a billion and one reasons that he can think of, all more than enough to send him running away from this cooking class but one look at his companion is really all it takes too keep him in seated in place. 

jaebum curses how the universe seems to continuously conspire against him; using his softheartedness and tricking him into situations like this. he sighs aloud, eyeing the bowl once more and raising the whisk like his most holy weapon. he supposes it won’t be so bad to try again if it will make mina happy. 

“so espresso is supposed to go with chocolate, right? and they’re both your favorites if i remember correctly.” 

[eloquenthoney-deactivated201901]

i’m doomed now to live without you, baby.

[ccjaebum-blog]

💫 cat daddy struggles

star light, shine bright for @ccleedongminie

jaebum is not panicking. 

no, he is simply trying to regulate his breathing in order to think more rationally about the situation. no, he is also not close to tears as he stands dumbly in the middle of the park on sunday afternoon where pets and people are scattered alike and he cannot find his children (read as: cats). and really, no he is not about to crumple into a heap on the grass because of his frustration. 

jaebum is merely worried. yes, that’s what it is...he’s simply...worried. 

he takes a deep breath to calm himself; gaze sweeping over the entire park to scout for any sign of his three precious kittens. it’s hard to focus with all the colors around him and the afternoon sun’s rays above him so it takes a trained cat daddy eye to make out the pristine white ball of fur that is his cat rolling around with...someone else?

confused and mildly jealous, jaebum jogs over to the teenager laying down on the mat with all three of his kids. “uhm...excuse me?” he calls out. “but who are you and why are you with my cats?” 

[ccjaebum-blog]

*plot call*

i need new threads for daddy jaebum here but with work piling up, it’s been hard for me to plot with everyone ;uuuuuu; that being said, if you want a short starter reply with a word or phrase down below pleassums!! 

i miss everyone and i’m sorry that jaebum isn’t as active :c he misses all his kiddos and would love to get threads going i swear!! just be patient with us :c

[fmdseola-archive]

Call Me Oppa | Jaebum

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccxmina:

Starter for @ccjaebum who replied to this post with “oppa”

Mina’s concept shooting takes place at a garden. She chuckles in amusement at how fitting it is for her. After all, flowers and trees are home-turf to her. The photographer then asks her to pose at a specific tree, with its leaves beginning to turn orange and red. Just as Mina relaxes, taking care not to ruin her hair against the rough bark of the tree, her foot shifts, hitting something that is definitely not the tree. Mina turns around and sees a young man close to her age crouched behind the trunk of the tree. There’s a hand to her mouth before Mina can let out an ear-splitting screech.

Being a photographer is not for the faint of heart and contrary to what most people believe, it’s not always about the glitz and the glamour. Jaebum himself knows this; from moody bosses and prissy clients, he’s seen and experienced them all but rather than complaining, he takes them all in stride and pushes forth. Even with his family’s own reputation and fortune, Jaebum knows that it’s hard work and humility that will get him to places. He doesn’t mind getting down and dirty at work or doing all the hard stuff because he’s sure that nothing can phase him at this point...except maybe getting the shock of his life. 

“What the hell????”

[ccjaebum-blog]

💫 tough love

[ccjaebum-blog]

cctaehyung:

if ricky was being honest, he didn’t think he was that easy to read. all this time, he thought he would let everyone just figure that he was mysterious if he didn’t show much of his emotions. though he wasn’t intending to be mysterious during this time, he didn’t to have people know how he feels just from body language or facial expression. so jaebum’s words make ricky feel a little bit disappointed in his own effort in trying his best to try. 

though, ricky wasn’t lying. he did honestly think he needed some more extra training. perhaps more than just the normal amount of “extra”. but there was a reason why he wanted to do so and he supposes the president had suspected that. perhaps ricky was easy to read because of his and jaebum’s close relationship throughout the years? it sounded like the only reasonable explanation, anyway. after all, the boy felt as if he got to know more about the other after everything, as well.

ricky finds himself cringing internally when he hears jb refer to kihyun as his mother. but regardless, he continues to listen to the boy. “i…” he hesitates a little. he wants to talk to someone about it. really, he does. but he doesn’t want to overwhelm the president and put all of his struggles onto him. “i… i don’t know.” 

lord, he felt like a pathetic little child. 

his ribcage feels like it’s caving in on his heart as he watches the conflicting emotions flash across ricky’s face. he hates this, he thinks again as his fingers curl into a fist. he hates feeling so helpless knowing that he still can’t do anything to help out the people who mean so much to him. it’s a harsh slap of reality to realize that he’s still running the same circles even if they’ve gotten the once in a lifetime opportunity to go back in time. 

“that’s okay too...” the president begins, voice tender as he hesitates to reach out to touch his junior. there are too many emotions and he feels like he might just crumble once and for all. his gaze focuses on the target in front of him instead because he knows that looking at ricky will not help him keep his shit together. “it’s okay to not know. you don’t always have to know all the answers, ricky. no one expects you to know the answers all the time.” 

in the recesses of his mind, jaebum wishes he could hug the younger without scaring him off but he isn’t sure if that is what ricky needs or if the hug is more to comfort himself than anything. 

“you can talk to me. you know that, don’t you?”

[ccmino-deactivated20171107]

Walking On A Tightrope

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccmino:

@ccjaebum

Mino absolutely hated walking through busy streets. Crowds, although they granted you the perfect anonymous cover, were dangerous in his opinion. Heroes, humans and cards were all mixed together so something was bound to go wrong eventually. A Hero or one like him would find out about the other and perhaps a fight would start. At the very least a chase would happen and that could go terribly wrong. The elemental had worked hard in the past to remain off a Hero’s radar and he wasn’t planning on being put on one now. He would have taken a detour to avoid this particular street if it hadn’t been for the fact that he had a gardening job here. Sometimes he wished he could magically appear into the human’s yard. In that way he wouldn’t have to be so on guard like he was now.

His senses were working in overdrive while he hurriedly walked down the street. Perceiving his immediate surroundings with his ability, Mino kept his eyes wide open in case he’d spot something suspicious. He had to be sure to turn around or make a run for it the moment a Hero would spot him. He rather avoided them than engaging in a fight. You never knew beforehand how strong your opponent was going to be or if they were going to call back-up. He liked to play it smart and avoid any kind of confrontation with them. That way they’d also leave him alone.

Tightening his hold on the green tool box he carried with him his eyes went over to the apartment building he had to be at. It was only a couple of meters anymore before he would reach it. He’d soon be safe. Suddenly sensing the more than familiar tingling of magic way too close-by for comfort, a shiver ran down his spine. Swallowing Mino made sure to keep his expression schooled and relaxed. As long as he wouldn’t act suspicious and give away what or who he was that Hero perhaps wouldn’t be able to spot him. In a crowd like this it was rather difficult to spot the one you’re looking for anyway and it was the only redeeming quality of a crowd according to him.

Jaebum misses the normalcy of his old life. Back then, he could easily blend into the hundreds of other faces walking along busy streets without so much as anyone batting him an eyelash. He was just one of the many; no one in particular and especially no one that held so much extra responsibility. But times have changed and he has come to learn to roll with whatever punches are thrown his way. 

The tingling sensation of magic beckoning him is too distracting to ignore. His fingers curl into a fist in his palm as he tries to control the own heightening response of his magical instincts. His friends give him a concerned stare but Jaebum brushes it off under a guise of a migraine for they won’t understand anyway even if he wishes he could tell them the truth. “I’ll be right back, I just need to make a quick run to the pharmacy,” he says as he breaks into a jog following the direction of whatever it is that’s pulling him. 

Magic is near and until he knows for sure what kind it is, he cannot not do anything about it. He pushes himself past throngs of people, of couples holding hands and of families walking together. His magic swirls in his head, almost dizzyingly, as the urge to break into his hero form heightens. Eventually, he walks into of the lesser walked streets and stops. It’s here but he can’t exactly pinpoint where; there seems to be no one else here. 

[myeoncc-blog]

tooth hurty.

[ccjaebum-blog]

myeoncc:

( * @ccjaebum )

( * joonmyeon has many heroes who he’s taken under his wing, referred to affectionately as his own with a ruffle of hair and an adoring smile. jaebum, however, is someone much more similar to him; a more reliable figure, more of a shoulder to lean on than one to coddle. as much as joonmyeon does love the trust placed in him by the younger ones he cares for, jaebum is an undeniably necessary refresher, and joonmyeon much enjoys his company. and the mutual complaints. ) kids these days… ( * he murmurs, lips hidden behind the rim of his glass, lenses slipping down his nose as his gaze runs over the other customers. )

( /jaebum tries no to think about the thudding ache in his muscles that makes him feel more like a forty year old than a twenty-something year old as he sits quietly by the dimly-lit booth of the cafe. their table is far enough to leave their eardrums intact from the deafening chatter of the afternoon rush but not apparently not far enough to spare their eyes from the rough housing activities of the teenagers. jaebum makes a face and sips his coffee, averting his gaze back to his hyung/ ) don’t get me started. ( /he says with a sigh; missing the opportunity to cringe at how dad-like that sounds/ ) i don’t remember being that loud...like ever. 

[ccjaebum-blog]

💫 high on feelings

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccxartemis:

for one to peer in on yanmei’s life the way a child might a shining toy in a department store window, she might have appeared like that very object: something pretty and sleek, but with limited use and moving quarters. at twenty years old, though she had a profitable and notable business in the upper echelon of the city as a matchmaker and otherwise fortune-teller, she was not in school and already engaged to a man apparently a dozen years her senior. and for all they might imagine, she was a lovely little chinese doll that sat about on the shelf of a wealthy, influential man and waited to be picked up and played with before put down again.

of course, none of these things were as they seem. the least of all minji’s age.

there was no slow day for yanmei, and certainly no slow night. but occasionally, in the most lovely of twilights, the president and vice-president of the busan league hoisted the sun on their shoulders and managed to still the evening long enough to have an evening together. 

she arrives as she always does, swathed in politeness light silk - tonight’s choice a burnish orange wrap, tight around her slim waist - making a suspiciously limited amount of noise as they walks down the hallway, despite the hardwood floors and her thin heels. 

“i’m here with the im party?” the disappointment that stretches onto the hostess’ face is something yanmei holds behind her half-smile and waits to tell jaebum. 

“qīn'ài de,” darling, she calls him as she arrives at the table, a hand stretching out to touch his arm amiably and ghost her lips against his cheek. “this is a lovely table. thank-you for finding such a pretty spot.”

jaebum doesn’t particularly feel too attached to his phone, as most other people his age are. he definitely sees the need for it and won’t deny that there are just some things that he can no longer do without it but he knows that he’s fully capable of being a functional human being even without it. which is why he finds himself already a bit bored after a few minutes of scrolling through his sns apps while waiting. 

thankfully, his companion for tonight never really keeps him waiting. 

“xīngān,“ he greets, responding automatically with his own nickname for her after hearing her call out to him. he stands up immediately, a hand on her slim waist, and presses a quick peck to her cheek before pulling out the opposite chair for her to sit on. “you look beautiful, as always. so i feel like i should be the one thanking you for gracing me with your company this evening.” his smile is subdued but as warm as ever; there will always be eyes on them, that much they both know, regardless of how much he spends to ensure even just a bit of privacy. 

their designated server comes around quickly enough; pouring water into the goblets and handing them both their menus. jaebum realizes half of the items are written in mandarin so he scrunches his nose adorably and looks at her for help. “what would you like to have? you’d know better, xīngān.” 

[ccjennie-deactivated20180103]

catching something,

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccjennie:

his words were on odd thing to find humour at but even so, she cannot help but let free the amused smile that tugs on the corners of her lips. “yeah, we definitely think that sometimes our needs should be put first over others.” we, she almost chokes over her choice of wording. the world can turn over itself and she still won’t refer to herself as a human. she’s far more valuable than that.

but to keep up with appearances and to stick to deceptive pretences mean she has to use words that will make these humans think she belongs in this world. because sometimes, looking the part just isn’t enough. if she has to propel herself as one of them so as to not make anyone doubt, then so be it. after all, her years of pretending has never failed her yet.

she smiles graciously before leading the way towards the offices. he’s a gentleman, that much she’ll give him considering how it’s already proven that not everyone can be – maybe chivalry has not been extinct yet. “it’s okay, they won’t mind.” she answers nonchalantly, gesturing her head towards her workmates. “and if you’re a spy from our competitors, then prepare to lose your head and your profit for the next few seasons. we’re going to be releasing good stuff here.” she beams proudly, using her hip to open the door to the room that would provide him with behind the scenes action.

jaebum gives himself a mental pat on the back, albeit a little cockily, about how effortless it is for him to carry the rolls of fabric. it turns out that all those weight training sessions in the gym aren’t a total waste of time because at least now he’s able to put it to good use other than just simply fighting monsters. that thought almost makes him laugh out loud except he doesn’t want to appear like a total weirdo in front of this young lady. that would be totally uncool. 

“hey, chill out.” he says with a chuckle, rushing forward to hold out the door for her. “i’m not one of your competitors. i’m not some spy either though that sounds almost cool.” his eyes scan the room, taking in how the place looks and trying to reconcile this view to be where the brand’s magic takes place. from a customer’s point of few, this is an amazing and rare opportunity. 

“i’m actually a patron of your brand.” he admits with a goofy smile, almost shy at saying it out loud. it makes him feel slightly self-conscious standing before one of his favorite brand’s work room especially in front of one of their employees. it doesn’t dawn on him until that very moment that the girl before him could very well be the person who made the very clothes he’s wearing now. “so don’t worry your pretty little mind, your fashion secrets are safe with me.”

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccxjoy:

ccjaebum:

sunny afternoons

(  ` *  she laughs when her hair is ruffled and she softly pats down the loose strands. she closes her eyes as she inhales the different scents floating around the market. her hands are behind her back as she scans the different food stalls ; ) hmm— ( ` * her mind says not to go for something too expensive— ; ) oppa… how about the skew— ( ` * but her stomach contests. ; ) nope! let’s eat the tteokbokki! although… we might need to drink milk afterwards. you don’t mind me growing even taller right? ( ` * she raises her brow and chuckles ; )

hmm...i guess i won’t mind too much if that’s what my joy-yah wants. ( /he says after a lengthened second of pretending to think and mull about it. he can try as hard as he wants but he knows too that he doesn’t stand a chance against joy who happens to be one of his most favorite dongsaengs/ ) so tteokbokki, skewers, and milkshakes it is then? or would you like those frozen ice cream yogurt things you youngsters seem to like so much? ( /he takes her hand and loops it through his arm and leads her down the food stall lined streets, letting the wafting aromas set their direction/ )

[ccjaebum-blog]

💫 long nights & longer days

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccminhyun:

it feels like he’s been working nonstop for years and now that he thinks about it, he has. saving the world from the apocalypse has proven to be quite an exhausting accomplishment. but now that time has been reset, he can’t exactly vanish from the face of the earth and sleep for the year to come. he’s an idol and he’s also a hero, responsibilities piling up on his shoulders and suffocating him. but he’s not about to disappoint anyone, nor let down the league who’s looked after him this entire time.

he doesn’t think he would still be alive if not for jaebum and the other resistance members. as annoying as some of them are - let’s just say he’s not exactly made of rainbows and unicorns himself - they all stuck together for nearly four years, facing near-death experiences countless times. those made him who he is, but they also crushed his soul to the very core. he’s broken and strained, but at least he’s got a goal to focus on that distracts him from wallowing in his pain and darkest thoughts.

he can rarely get to the league’s facilities so early in the day. in fact, most of his training schedule is done at random, whenever his idol schedule allows him to. he doesn’t exactly lack experience by now anyway, but the idea of falling behind rookies is disgusting to minhyun.

“it’s minhyun,” he announces outside of jaebum’s office, two cups of coffee in hand. he turns the doorknob, head peeking in the frame to check what the president is up to. “i brought coffee.” he knows it’s the secret code to getting a free pass to enter. his friend hardly sleeps, much like him. humans can only survive so long in this state without a little boost.

normally, jaebum doesn’t like getting his peace disrupted especially a rather long stressful night. 

the members often like to joke that he’s more like a grandpa than league dad with how fast he gets tired these days and the younger ones especially like to make jokes about his decreasing stamina. he often responds with an old man impersonation or a round of push-ups - depending on his mood - and he tries not to think about how true their words really are. 

if only they knew that the real reason why...

the knock on his office door rouses him out of his thoughts and the subsequent smell of coffee eliminates all excuses he has about not wanting company at this particular moment. “come on in.” he says without too much of a preamble, knowing that minhyun will understand probably better than anyone else the lack of a warmer response. being the cheerful one was really more of kihyun’s thing anyway. 

“you’re here early. no schedules today?” he asks, barely looking up from where his reading glasses are perched on the bridge of his nose. 

[ccxyuna]

Good Luck, Bad Luck

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccxyuna:

@ccjaebum

Today Yura decided to go out to eat again. She felt like having beef stew and decided to go to a place she heard was really, really good. The girl really loved food and so she’d been in a good mood all day, looking forward to it.

After entering she saw that the place was pretty full, but not as full as she’d expected it to be. Yura ordered beef stew – just like she’d planned – and was glad when she was told that she was lucky, because that was the last beef stew of the day.

It only got her into an even better mood, because wow, when was she actually lucky like this? Exactly – barely ever. And so she smiled to herself, looking forward to what she was sure would be a delicious meal.

it’s been one hellish day. from waking up late for his 8:30 AM class and finding one of his favorite sweaters sporting a tear from where his cat, odd, decided to claw through it, jaebum just wants something to go right for the first time today. his professors weren’t really of much help after they all conspired and decided to assign projects and long tests all on the same day. 

obviously, today just isn’t his day. 

grumpy and tired, he trudges into the (surprisingly long) line of his favorite hole in the wall eatery by his university practically dreaming of the beef stew that is his favorite. he’s sure that even if most things in his day have gone terribly wrong, the ahjumma who claims that jaebum is her favorite and the beef stew she makes won’t fail him. 

except he forgets that the universe really hates him today. 

“yah, that’s my beef stew!” he exclaims, eyes trailing longingly at the last bowl being placed on the stranger’s tray. “that’s mine!”

[fmdyuanjunarchive]

a flower by any other name.

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccjaebum:

ccminseok:

a mind as shifty and unpredictable as minseok’s was rarely at ease, constantly shifting back and forth on the thin line of what was supposedly right and wrong, trying to balance out ancient old habits that had grown into his very being with new moral and ethics he had obtained in his human form. it caused his mood and mind to swing in weird ways, constantly and unexpectedly, to the point where even minseok himself was quite lost on where he stood. human beliefs were a shitty thing minseok had concluded bitterly, and that he had to keep to them to keep a low profile was even shittier.

yet currently all of those thoughts were pleasantly absent, the floorboards of his mind swept clear as the tranquility of nature around him settled into his bones in the most calming of manners. fresh air filling his lungs with every deep breath, bright sun rays soaking into his skin and nothing but greens and vibrant colors in his sight, all with all the normally so chaotic card couldn’t be more at ease.

he had been leisurely walking around the park, letting his mind run freely as his feet slowly dragged across the gravel of the path before coming to a halt in front of a bed of poppies, absent-mindedly plucking one of the vibrant flowers and twirling the long stem between his fingers. minseok was all for leaving nature alone and letting it be but he also liked to appreciate beauty, one flower more or less sure wouldn’t hurt.

it was strangely calm around the park, especially for this type of weather but minseok decided not to dwell on it, it looked prettier like this. without children playing and the loud chatter of their parents as they all ignored the beauty around them.

that didn’t mean it was completely abandoned though, there was a boy (or perhaps a man, like minseok cared about such small details) laying on his back on one of the open fields, eyes fluttered close as he soaked in the sunrays and without much more hesitation, minseok decided to make his way over.

he stopped directly in front of the other, effectively blocking out the sun light in an attempt to draw his attention. “here,” he simply said, extending the poppy he was still holding out to the stranger. “they look extra nice this time of the year.”

[ @ccjaebum ]

it’s actually far too hot out for a leisurely stroll in the park but jaebum figures that it beats being cooped up in the house for hours on end. though he usually doesn’t mind spending all his time by his lonesome, he knows too the repercussions of doing so often. loneliness is really as much of a foe as it is a friend and he really much rather not figure out what happens when it does turn into his enemy. 

with a sigh, he belatedly realizes that he should have brought out his cats to accompany him because they’re probably bored of staying inside the house as well (even though the size of the house his parents built is really more like an enormous playground for the likes of his pets). but still, he perseveres and decides to make the most out of his rare spontaneity. the shadow cast by the ginko tree looks extremely inviting after spending a few good minutes under the sun’s sweltering heat and without needing any other rhyme or reason, he claims the spot as his and lays down on the grass. 

the silence is comfortable and familiar and jaebum soaks it all in willingly. he takes a deep lungful of air and relishes in the feeling of it slowly filling his lungs and relaxing him. some of the sun’s rays still hit his face from where the tree’s leaves and branches don’t shield him but even more he can move to block it out himself, someone else seems to have done for him. peeking one eye with caution (just in case it’s one of his crazy loyal fans), he’s more than a bit bewildered to come face to face with a...poppy? 

“for me?” he asks, bewildered and awed. “do you have the wrong guy or something?”

[ccjaebum-blog]

ccxtuan:

ccjaebum:

perpendiculars

( ’ He pushes a sigh down his throat– not wanting to sound rude as he remains silent, composed, the usual him in the usual hour with the not so usual company. He crosses his arms, stares at blank space but nevertheless, bobs his head weakly to the beat from his earphones ) yea, funny ( ‘ He counts how many times he repeated Jaebum’s words by now ) uh… ( ‘ He pauses, but takes the letter from his pocket ) curious, I wanted to check it out ( ‘ He describes, holding the letter for the other to see ) 

so you got one of this expired flyers too? how interesting. ( /the chuckle practically forces itself out of his throat and he tries not to look too dejected as he scrambles for some sort of reprieve; anything that will be a good enough reason for him to make sense of why he’s trying so hard to hold on to their friendship - or at least, what’s left of it/ ) look, mark...i know that we haven’t really been as close as we--- ( /the grandfather clock at the far end of the room sounds deafeningly and the moment is lost. he looks helplessly at the offending object just as the customer comes out of the reading room/ ) i-i guess it’s our turn?