#&today

[jobut]

Today was pretty freaking productive. Worked from 10 to 2, came home to change and have a quick lunch, then went to get a quote for my anime club tshirt orders. the woman at the shop was very helpful and we have a tentative deal, but I don't wanna jump into the first oportunity--while its a good one, it's also expensive. I need to get those bakas to prepay for their shirts and I dunno how willing they'd be. all I know is that I'm not going to drop 350 of my own money on this. afterwards I went to target and picked up a copy of fe:a for Carrie's bday present (sssshhh it's secret), along with a sports bra because I'm worth it heha and I dislike regular brassiers ya feel me picked up my mom from work, bought Delicious raspberry Greek froyo at the supermarket (I'm in love btw) and hot bike at around 5........by then I realized I'd been out and about since 930 and took a much enjoyed nap. I'm supposed to be going to Conway tomorrow and I kiiinda don't want to but at least I'll have Saturday to laze around. ..... I oughta work out tomorrow.....

[jobut]

my mom woke me up at er, around 6:30am this morning ... that's about an hour or so earlier than what I'm used to, but I didn't go back to bed. I dropped her off at work so I could have the car today (for no good reason I guess, considering I almost did nothing all day) and after that, I played a little New Leaf. that doesn't need any elaboration, so I'll skip to a later part of my day. 

an hour from then! at 8am I went for a walk in the park just a two minute walk from my house. all this time I've been saying I was gonna go on morning walks, but I actually did it this time------oops

I walked for about twenty? minutes? and then I got bored of just walking in circles [there's a track that goes around the park] so I played on the swingset 'til I got pretty high

haha a ~twenty year old playing on the swings alone at 8am, listening to Naruto theme songs 

and after all those years, I was still scared to jump off.

[jobut]

I'm feeling real good this evening! So I'm really trying to let my real self out more often, along with letting go of grudges, and it's going pretty well. I feel like I've buried a hatchet out in the backyard of idioms and it feels nice yo. Also trying to stop acting "normal"--and I really don't wanna sound like "haha I'm such a weird girl not like the others so random xddddd" but I guess that's an alright way to describe it ... Yeah, toned down is better. I'm trying not to tone myself down more around drew and also my pals and people I don't know well (but would like to). It's going smoothly, I think. I don't need to be ashamed or whatever of what I like or things like that. Today's just been kinda good. I've been having more Me Time these past couple days, which is grrreat! It gets a little boring sometimes, not having hung out with anyone since the last day of school(a month ago), but I'm feeling....really good. I just knocked on wood, I'm not gonna let this get messed up I feel myself changing. It's good. Shedding old skin and coming into a new self. Not drastically new but yanno what I mean. Here's to June!

[jobut]

I had a huge post typed up on my phone but I changed the app to open a new tab of this freakin LP and I lost it So I'm getting my tattoo on Wednesday! The appointment's been made, along with a nonrefundable 20$ down payment. I wanted to get one before I moved back with my parents, and it's not like its on a whim--I've had the idea for a little over a year. I guess I'm just a little jittery about it because ehehehe I'm a little baby about pain and I try my best to avoid it---- Ahah wow my parents have explicitly said I shouldn't get a tattoo yet here we are I feel like many of my peers have gone against their parents wishes before. I also think I'm late on that? But I've never...really Done that before. That too unnerves me. I'm excited and nervous. And also pretty psyched to go camping tomorrow.

[jobut]

3-23-13

Today was wasted in bed.

I tend to come up with these ideas, they sound so good and it seems that everything will play out fine...and I guess, I'm lucky that I have someone who will help ground me. 

I think I'm too naiive.. er, or hopeful, I don't think of the realities of choices.

I don't think I'll be happy at home, but I won't be happy in Conway either. 

[jobut]

3-22-13

So I've decided to live at home next school year. I really ought to; it's a good way to save money. I'll just commute--so this summer's goal is to save up for used car, huh...yeah. I can do that. 

I'm a little worried about my friendships though...I'm used to being really close to my pals and I guess being at home and having responsibilities here would put a damper on some things! err, my friends are really uh...Forgetful. when it comes to notifying pals of happenings. So I don't think I'll be too terribly involved in the social circuit. A blessing and a curse, I suppose. 

There are people I could use a good distance from. 

All in all, I'm kind of looking forward to it. 

I'm ... a little worried about being far from Drew. It was so easy living in the same dorm as him. I think we'll be fine, I hope so. errr.. 

I dunno, it's kinda crazy when I think about it. 

I was so willing to do the LDR deal before [in an entirely different situation with a diff person]. Like, when I had already build the friendship and was flirting and stuff, already knowing the distance or whatever okay but-----hmm hmmm I'm worried that while I'm here he'll meet 

[jobut]