What Would Be Enough | Open
“No, no, no, no, no, no!”
Roxanne kicked her leg forward, sending the spare seat in her office flying into the wall. Her hands trembled, a telltale sign of the impending shitstorm that was to come. She paced the room, chest heaving as she attempted to stave off the breakdown ripping at the seams of her sanity.
Who the fuck did they think they were? Tearing her from Julian’s bedside because she was too volatile? She was the one who bloody found him -- would she have been screaming bloody murder if she had fucking been the murderer! And they had already interviewed her, for Merlin’s sake!
Were they really going to leave Julian to wake up alone? Because he would wake up. He would wake up, confused, and there would be no one there that he trusts to fill him in because everyone was being left in the bloody dark about his recovery. He would want Roxanne there, right? He trusted Roxanne -- stupid fights be damned. Sure, McGonagall would be there; the woman was practically his mother...
But Julian would want Roxanne there... right? Because if Julian never woke up... if Julian never recovered, never remembered who it was who held pressure to his chest to keep him from bleeding out on the floor, never wondered where she might be...
Then she would never get to apologize. She would never get to apologize for being such a royal fucking bitch during their last interaction and telling him what a horrible, miserable friend he was when she -- when all she ever wanted him to know was that --
“Fuck! Mother of -- dragon fucking -- Merlin’s -- twat -- fucking -- FUCK!”
For once in her bloody life, Roxanne found herself at a loss for curse words. Her gasps reaching a crescendo, she found herself barely able to keep herself standing. Grasping for the desk, she felt herself sink to the floor, her lungs filling in a harsh start-stop that she couldn’t quite seem to regulate. Feeling dizzy, angry, afraid -- she let her head sink between her hands, as if doing so might help her hold apart the aching pieces of herself that couldn’t make sense of the situation.