#;regarding

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■ ♒ ▼ c:

■ - Violent headcanon

                      —「♛」;;  Fist fights were common pre-revelation. Back when they so adored killing titans, they all the same adored getting into squabbles. They knew not how to utilize sharp tongue and instead ended up with bruised knuckles. Time and time again when Scouts returned to Sina, Zoe would meet with former classmates who went into the MP. Soon after arguments would erupt, and the brunette would have to be tugged away by one of the squad leaders, or their dearest companion. When the Commander was done scolding them, they would quietly give full detail of the fight to Levi, proud of what they accomplished.

♒ - Family headcanon

                      —「♛」;;  Of their siblings, Zoe was closest to Ethan. Ethan was a year their junior, and shared the most resemblance to them appearance wise. He was a quiet and reserved boy in contrast with Zoe’s rather forward personality, and enjoyed listening to them speak. He greatly admired them, and they first confessed of their gender identity and plans to leave for the Legion to him. The two confided in one another, and even now when Zoe finds themself lost, they whisper into the wind hoping Ethan catches what they have to say.

▼ - Childhood headcanon

                      —「♛」;;  A tree upon a hill overlooked the entire farm. This was where Zoe would go when they were brooding, or throwing a fit. As they matured, it became more a site of contemplation, or a site to pray upon as they asked God to take care of their mother past. They would ask for guidance, and in the flat expanse that was their childhood home, it was one of the highest points. They would climb into the tree and pick apples, and sometimes even bring Ethan up with them. When they returned to Wall Maria, to their village, the tree had been knocked down, likely by a titan. What they don’t know is that their brother had tried to hide in the little safe haven, his last memories being time spent with a sibling who was too far away to protect him.

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● ♥

● - Sad headcanon

                      —「♛」;;  They write his name into their mind, onto sheets of crinkled up paper. They write his name to get him out, to dull it to their senses. They write it again and again just so that they become numb to it, so that they stop hurting every time it’s said or remembered. But they bleed no matter how many repeats of M’s and Z’s are noted down. Because while they certainly scorn him for giving up, for dying, Mike Zakarius was Zoe’s family. And Zoe loses their family, always loses their family.

♥ - Love headcanon

                      —「♛」;;  When they are in throes, Zoe becomes just a bit different. Because that voice is now a song, and those eyes are now the sky and the earth all in one, Zoe has only loved two in their time with such a depth, and they only have the capacity to love two. But when they love, it’s entirely wholesome. For them they will cook, and they will make time aside from research. They will study the subject inside out to learn every crack inside their mind, and the scientist will be made into partner, into mother and what they hope to be salvation. They will heal and fix, bind and control, yet allow freedom. Beloveds aren’t meant to be caged, but must always be kept in check. In love, they are both terrifying and comfort, both the storm and its eye.

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☠ bc angst.

☠ - Death headcanon

                      —「♛」;;  Death is regarded as failure. Though there is a harshness that comes with that, Zoe’s beliefs stand strong with them. If you want something bad enough, you won’t die. It’s a bit backwards and so horribly cruel, but they believe it. It left a bitter taste in their mouth when they learned of the passing of Mike Zakarius, a clenched fist and clenched teeth. They swore quietly at the time, cursed him for not wanting freedom as badly as the rest. Because death is just another excuse. But dying is also the cruelest thing anyone can possibly do.

[sarxnous]

★

★ - Education headcanon

                      —「♛」;;  Most things for Zoe are self taught, but much of it can be credited passion instilled by mentor. He who they serve at a time taught them, and from time to time the student-teacher relationship between them becomes apparent. In their excellent facades or strategic implements, Erwin is mirrored. They’re quick to jump to his defense, and he in their youth brought them novels upon novels. While they were always a curious soul, he fostered that, and gave them a path upon which to tread. They intend to learn everything from him, so that one day they can come to succeed him.

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Sacrifice, Addiction, Punishment

Put one of these words in my ask and I’ll write a headcanon about it for my character(s)

Sacrifice

    Necessary. Those who have enough resolve are willing to give all and anything for goals, to push through any and every test. They will give everything for the sake of their goal, and those unwilling to throw something away simply don’t desire strongly enough. So long as sacrifice doesn’t hinder, they will do so without batting eyelash. They contemplate, yes, they do give it thought. Reckless sacrifice is something to be avoided. But once it’s been cleared, they’ll do it. They don’t get scared of losing things.

Addiction

    Result of unchecked craving, and lack of self control. Looked down upon, but not with disgust. Pity hangs heavy in ambers when visions set upon addict, and they know the feeling all too well. It’s worldly pleasures they find comfort in. Alcohol, tobacco, sex, the occasional illicit drug. These are terrible things, destroy the body. But so long as the mind does not become addicted, there’s still hope. Addicts to love, addicts to embraces and the comfort of a safe home are those they feel most sorry for. The worst liquor would do one is a busted liver. But to have sanctuary torn from one’s self is only the most cruel of tragedies and symptoms of withdrawal are strong. Addicts are understandable, but they will never want to understand the addiction to belonging.

Punishment

    Hand in hand with discipline. Required for training, best if self-inflicted. They will deal it if required, but prefer to teach others to preform it themselves. This garners desire to improve. They’re a bit lenient when it comes to sentencing, prefer not to bring death to perpetrator if possible. Knowledge is priority after survival and glory, and dead men tell no tales. Torture is far better for assessment, and punishment that holds more weight. They punish themself regularly. Forced laps ran around training field, push-ups, long winded essays on subjects they detest. Window open on freezing day. All to keep themself sharp.

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(headcanon meme:) Family, Discipline, Politics, & Hedonism

Put one of these words in my ask and I’ll write a headcanon about it for my character(s)

Family

    Little blood family survives, and it played important role in upbringing. Loving mother, father, and four younger siblings all were with Zoe in youth, and to eight birthday mother remained. With Maria’s fall, immediate family was lost, with only a grandfather left to speak of. But they are not bitter about it anymore. They have another family now.

    They have never cherished anyone as much as they do fellow veterans. Through thick and thin comrades have remained with them, they listen to them weep and sing and speak. The five of them share secrets, warmth, and embraces. They share the burdens brought on by war, and love one another though no one dares say it. This is now their family, and it means the world to them. They will still throw it all away for the glory of mankind.

                But they will hesitate while doing so.

Discipline

    Priority of a soldier. If one lacks discipline, they cannot achieve. They cannot improve, or further themself. Discipline must be taken in every day life, in withholding of emotion or prevention of indulgence. Their habits are a mess, from general unkemptness to lack of sleeping schedule. But these things are trivial to them. Restraint is more important in other areas. To harden one’s heart, to put everything behind themself. Putting their priorities last, and only doing what’s best for majority, what’s best for survival. It’s proven to be difficult. It’s resulted in emotional loss, personal loss. But that’s okay. What they want doesn’t matter. That is what discipline is for a Scout.

Politics

    They’re more interested than they’d like to admit. When seated on edge of Command’s desk, or in position in military ball, thoughts linger towards the families withing Wall Sina, the constructs of the monarchy. Funding of the legion, protection and sanction of civilians fall directly under government’s duty, so their investment is exceptional. Sometimes they babble about the Smith name and only moments later will they silence themself, redfaced over just how much they know. If they weren’t so passionate about the sciences, perhaps politics would be their game. They prefer the sidelines though, Zoe is still a bit shy for the limelight.

Hedonism

    It’s understandable. Human nature to want, they see why people do it. They do it. Pleasure is derived from knowledge, and from ability to continue fighting and while they do both even if in direct disobedience, they are indulging. It’s looked down upon when it means harm to others, but if it is only beneficial then there’s no problem with it.

        And sometimes even stepping on others to achieve desires is fine.

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religion and admiration

Put one of these words in my ask and I’ll write a headcanon about it for my character(s)

Religion

    Mother was strong believer in old religion, near dead at this point. Father believed in that which is dying out in favour of cultism. Naturally one would think scientist believes only in what is Earthly but opinions are mixed. Hindu mother and Christian father raised them to believe in many things but ultimately it became their choice. Beliefs are fleeting and change day to day. They have many beliefs and refuse to rule out simply one. There is an afterlife, there is none. There’s heaven and hell, there’s purgatory. People are reincarnated. There’s God, many Gods, there are no Gods. They believe in it all because none of it can be proven true, so mind is open to any and all paths. But they pray. They do pray when finding self troubled because science and religion don’t necessarily have to be mutually exclusive. From time to time they find themself in confessional of church, be it Catholic, Baptist, Cultist or some other religion. Confession can be given by anyone at any time, after all. They do believe they have sinned and do believe they must atone for. A puppet of God is what a soldier is and somehow they are still damned.

    It’s a bit complicated for them, but complicated things never really troubled Zoe.

Admiration

    There are those that they admire, and those that admire them. Admiration is always openly voiced, they are one to oft give praise. When someone admires them, they fluster a bit, but it’s well accepted. Due to image of borderline madness given off, most don’t seem to dig in to find admirable quality in them and choose instead to fawn over humanity’s strongest, which is fine by them. They hold it strong for him too, as they do for the other veterans. It lies also for famous people in history, those who led revolutions, and scientists who are revered. Grisha Yeager is one of the people they admired former, until analysis of Eren’s dreams were given. Admiration is what drove them to become scout, in footpath of a mother long gone. They believe it is a strong pushing factor in what somebody becomes and for self, this holds truth.