Future me, do not fret. You have lived a good life, hopefully.. and if you haven't, be happy in the solemn serenity that as this point in life you were happy. Happiness, which is what we choose to call it. Societies happy or our happy? Actual happiness or short lived, brief moments of pleasure, that make us smile, signals from the brain, indicating an emotion. Well i am happy. Happy with my apartment, happy with Kate. Took us a while to get there but 3 years down the line, two abortions and a break up later and were happy. So many tears, arguments, shouting, stubbornness, petty immaturity and were happy. Were living together. Paving a way. I'm focussing on my career attempting to get my masters. Kate is content in her job and is enjoying new found freedoms. Sure things could be better, a little bit more money wouldn't go amiss. Maybe even a bit more time togeather. These late nights...
And even when the opportunity does present itself I sit here, tip tapping away, idly flicking through endless websites, reading articles I have little interest in, finding music I have not yet discovered. And she sleeps. Sleeps as her days are very long, and she likes her routine. Routine is key for Kate. Sleeping and work, and then sleeping again, and then we start the cycle all over again. When i do eventually go to bed, she always gets up to go to the toilet. Without fail. I try and creep in as to not wake her so she doesn't have to get out of bed. But every-time I think her bladder hears me. Still.