Title: High Society or Whatever
Pairing: Ivar x Reader
Summary: Ivar is in need of a wife and there just so happens to be a crazy lady in pajamas that seems like just the right fit.
Heavily inspired by drama shorts I've been watching and my desire for a female lead who has a backbone.
Rules.
Rules, rules and more rules.
That’s all his life was and all it would go on to be, it seems. At least that’s how Ivar felt as he was looking through the files his mother had forced into his hands this morning.
‘Eligible Ladies’ the folder promised on its cover.
He had no interest in even opening it, but he made his mother a promise to at least look at them.
So he sat skimming the files in the backseat of his SUV while his driver got him to his office.
‘Any luck finding us a new lady?’ Heahmund asked as he approached a red light.
‘Shut up.’ Ivar gripes.
‘No need to bite my head off sir, but surely one of those girls has to be interesting enough for you. It’s really not my business, but I work for you personally and if you get cut off I’m out of job so…’ the driver reminded him.
‘I love that my potential marriage means so much to you, you are a true friend.’ Ivar scoffed in mild annoyance as he sat aside the file.
‘Interesting isn’t the issue, all of them are interesting. Ivy League schools, wealthy or royal families, extravagant hobbies like mountain climbing or competitive modeling. That’s all interesting, but how much of it is real?’
Heahmund nodded, admitting that Ivar had a point.
‘If I’m gonna have to deal with a woman for the rest of my life I’d rather not fall for a lie her mother made up to sell her off.’ Ivar added.
‘Isn’t your mother doing the same?’
‘Yes, imagine what lies she sold them about little ol’ me.’ Ivar chuckled.
Just then the car came to an abrupt stop, the files went flying and Ivar had to hold his arms out to avoid smacking his face against the passenger seat.
‘What the fuck?!’ Ivar complained as he looked up to see why they had stopped.
In front of the car there was what appeared to be a lady in her pajamas, she seemed to be struggling with a torn tote bag and she was also swearing at Heahmund.
‘I don’t need this right now! Fuck! Back up!’ she screamed as she bent down to pick up the things spilling from her bag’s remains.
‘You ran out like a fucking psycho!’ Heahmund argued back angrily from the driver’s seat.
‘Dammit, hold on.’ Ivar groaned as he got out of the car and walked around to help the pajama lady collect her stuff and get her out the way.
‘Why today? Why did I have to leave my room today?!’ she was seething as she tried to catch sheets of paper that were beginning to fly away in the breeze.
Ivar caught the ones that were out of her reach and once it looked like everything of importance was secured she finally stood up and took a deep breath.
‘I’m sorry, I ran in front of your car, my bag broke and my wallet fell in the street.’ she explained as Ivar handed her the sheets he’d caught.
‘It’s fine.’ Ivar said as he took in the woman’s appearance.
She was wearing pink pajama bottoms, a white top and black slippers; she looked like she literally got out of bed and came outside.
‘Thank you Mr. Rich, and in case he heard me, tell your driver I didn’t mean to call him cuntasaurous rex.’ she said before she went on her way.
Ivar watched her walk until she rounded the corner.
‘Boss!’ Heahmund yelled from the car.
Ivar jumped as he snapped back into reality by Heahmund’s yelling.
‘Follow her.’
He heard his driver mumbling his annoyed little complaints, but he followed directions and turned the same way the girl had.
They drove for a few seconds before Ivar spotted her walking into a convenience store.
‘Why did we follow this lady?’ Heahmund asked.
‘I wanna see where she’s going in her pajamas; it’s the city, cameras are everywhere and appearances are everything.’
‘Well she went to the Grab N Go, which we should be doing, your meeting is starting soon.’
‘It won’t start until I get there. I’m going to grab a bottle of water.’ Ivar dismissed as he got out of the car.
He didn’t know why but he was simply fascinated by the girl, even in the dinginess of the convenience store, she seemed to shine to him.
She was staring at the candy section with a look so concentrated it had to be purposeful; finally she shook her head in disappointment, took a picture of the candy with her phone and even still she inspected the photo she took.
‘And here I thought you would try getting a new bag.’ he said as he approached.
‘Mr. Rich.’ she said as she noticed him.
‘Did my stuff mess up your car or something?’
‘Or something, the name is Ivar by the way.’ he corrected.
‘Damn, it would have been hilarious if your name was actually Richard or some shit.’ she joked.
Ivar’s eyebrows raised in shock, he wasn’t used to women speaking so vulgarly out in public. Then again, he suddenly realized that he hadn’t truly been with the general public much all his life.
‘So, Ivar, why are you here? I can’t imagine this is your stomping ground if you got a car that nice and can afford to pay a driver.’ she asked.
‘What is your name?’ Ivar asked in return.
‘(Y/N), local illustrator and debt dodger, so no last name if you’re serving me.’
‘Not a debt collector…just a guy looking for a date with an interesting girl in pink pajamas.’ Ivar said honestly.
Her eyes widened before she looked down at her clothes and scoffed.
‘Sorry I don’t wear my Sunday best on a ten minute walk for a reference photo.’
‘I didn’t hear a no, so is that a yes?’ he pressed on.
‘Why are you asking me on a date? Don’t you have a model or an heiress to go out with?’
Ivar thought about lying, he could come up with something to get his way in the end. That’s the way things were done in his circles. Lies and Schemes was the name of the game, but for some reason he didn’t want to lie to the girl in pajamas.
‘Well in truth, heiresses are boring and models are no fun once the camera stops rolling. Honestly, I’m just looking for a wife my mother won’t approve of, but I thought a date would be a more marketable suggestion.’
At this her eyes nearly popped out her head.
‘A wife?’ she asked.
‘Yes, I need to marry someone; my mother seems to think she has the final say, and I don’t want her to choose the girl I spend my life with. So how about it? Let me take you out to eat somewhere nice and I’ll explain my proposal.’ Ivar offered.
‘No thanks, I have a poor man’s pallet; how about I take you to lunch somewhere realistic and you can explain whatever you want while I eat my tacos.’ she dismissed before she approached the clerk and asked to borrow a stapler.
‘Tacos? I just offered you a free meal at a five star restaurant and you want tacos?’ Ivar asked incredulously.
She nodded easily as she literally stapled her bag back together.
‘Have you ever had a craving for something specific? Yeah you could have something better or more convenient but all you want is the thing you’re craving? I’m craving tacos, and I’ve heard a happy wife makes a happy life so let’s go.’ she answered.
Ivar watched her put her things back in her Frankenstein bag and to his surprise she took his hand and began pulling him out of the store.
‘Come on, the tacos are calling us, can't you hear them? Eat us! Eat us!’ (Y/N) cheered as they walked.
Ivar waited for her to let go of his hand once they were out of the store but she didn’t; in fact she kept his hand the whole time they walked. If she were anyone else he would have been outraged; too many women had tried staging paparazzi photos for him to allow any PDA.
However he found that he didn’t hate the idea of everyone seeing him, one of the richest bachelors in the country, holding hands with a girl in pajamas and unstyled hair.
It felt real.
(Y/N) led them to a small Mexican restaurant with a shabby outdoor eating area, a window to order from and a large straw sombrero hat sat on every table.
‘Pick a table for us, I'll go and order.’ she said cheerfully.
‘Here, take this, no need to add to the debt you’re dodging for my sake.’ Ivar said, offering her his card.
Ivar knew his mother would have thrown a fit if she could see him now, all his life she had spoken of gold diggers only after his money. That was why she insisted on him marrying a girl from a good family, she seemed unaware that rich women can dig for gold too.
(Y/N) took the black card without looking at it or noticing the eliteness of a no limit card, and she made her way to the window.
Ivar looked around the patio tables and found the one that looked the cleanest and least wobbly, a feat that took nearly five whole minutes. When he finally took his seat he looked up and saw (Y/N) watching him with an amused smile.
‘Satisfied with my favorite table?’ she asked as she sat down, placing a large flag on the table with the number five written on it.
‘Now, what’s the deal with the marriage proposal?’ she asked directly.
‘It’s a classic reverse Bridgerton deal, my father has passed recently and in order for me to get full access to my trust fund and inheritance I need to settle down. My mother has not let me have a moment of peace since the reading of the will, I have been on more horrible first dates than you can fathom.’ he started.
She nodded in understanding.
‘Marriage of convenience then, huh? What exactly are the terms for you to get the inheritance?’
‘I have to be married for a minimum of a year, and if I want to compete with my brothers for control of my father’s company an heir would need to be produced. There are some requirements in between as well, but that’s the meat and potatoes.’ Ivar explained.
‘An ”heir” has to be “produced”? Jesus, you’re right, when should I expect Lady Danbury for tea?’ she scoffed in disgust.
‘Only if I decide to compete for the company, as I have yet to decide, we will circle back to that bit later.’ Ivar dismissed.
‘Dude you act like you’re talking about an objective in a business meeting, it's a baby. Not a produced heir or whatever the fuck, a baby; it’ll be our baby if we do this. I get you rich folks like to do things differently, but my kid will never be a condition in somebody’s contract.’ she said firmly, locking eyes with him.
‘Our baby? Well at least you sound open to the idea.’ he said casually.
‘I will not have a kid for your convenience or anybody else’s.’ she said seriously.
Ivar looked at her face, searching for a tell, an eyebrow movement, a face twitch or a sideways glance. Her face was set in stone though, not a single muscled betrayed her.
‘If you want a kid, find someone else; if all you need is a wife…then I’ll agree to that.’ she said as she leaned back in her chair.
Ivar sat up in shock.
‘Y-you’re agreeing? We haven’t discussed compensation or accommodations and you just agreed like that? Why?’ he asked in complete confusion.
Of course he was happy she had agreed, and he had expected her to, but not before he gave her a number.
‘Because I have nothing better going on, and you need the help. Not to sound mean but I don’t think you’d last a week with no money.’ she laughed.
‘I would be fine, I have schooling and an impressive resume.’ he said indignantly.
‘Are those all jobs you received through family ties?’
Ivar didn’t answer.
‘References from your most powerful family friends? Corporate big shots, on the Forbes List? Yeah, walk into any normal job interview with that resume and they will call it fake or even worse turn you away because they dislike hiring uppity employees that will take over.’ she explained.
Ivar took in her words and looked around himself, they were in a low income neighborhood he had to pass through on his way to work. He saw a few Mom and Pop shops, their clientele walking to and from each one happily. He imagined what a manager inside one of those shops would say if he handed them his resume and asked for a job.
A man came over and began laying out plate after plate of tacos of all kinds, once his tray was empty he walked away, only to return with a second tray and another employee was holding a tray of chips, limes, guacamole, sour cream, chopped cilantro, pico de gallo and red and green salsa.
‘I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind that I got carried away when I was ordering. In my own defense I have no idea what you’d like, so I got all of it.’ she said shyly as she handed him the card and receipt.
Ivar looked at the table that was covered in plates, one of the employees was bringing over a second table to make room. When Ivar looked at the receipt his eyes widened.
‘Only two forty? I’ve never spent so little on lunch and it got all this?’ he asked incredulously.
‘Only? Man, we are from two very different financial backgrounds.’ she scoffed as she picked up her first plate of tacos.
‘Here try this, barbacoa, it’s my favorite but I got three of every kind of taco so you can decide which one you like best. The green salsa is the best, the red one is delicious too but it's definitely way hotter, so be careful.’ she instructed as she offered him the plate.
‘What part of the cow is it?’ he asked skeptically.
He didn’t want her to think he was stuck up, but he had never eaten anything that cost so little and he was afraid it wasn’t actually edible. He saw her pour the green salsa on her taco and she did the same to his, not pouring too much on his.
‘The delicious part, just eat.’ she smiled before she began eating.
Ivar stared at the taco one last time before he took a deep breath and took his first bite.
It was criminal.
Absolutely criminal that the best thing he’s ever had was also the cheapest meal he’s ever seen, he could eat in a five star restaurant in Mexico and he doubted it would have been this good.
‘Oh my God.’ he said with his mouth full, forgetting every table manner his mother taught him.
‘I know! Try one of these and dip it in the sauce, birria.’ she said, offering him another plate with different tacos.
‘Don’t be afraid of those condiments either, try the sour cream for sure, they make it in house.’ she suggested.
Ivar took her advice and soon he was unable to do anything that didn’t involve tacos, how had his cook never thought to make tacos?
‘Um…excuse us.’ Ivar looked up and saw a woman and a little girl standing by the table.
Their clothes were dirty and the little girl was looking at the food with wide hungry eyes, Ivar looked at his excessive amount of food and guilt immediately took hold of him.
‘I’m sorry to ask but-’ the mother began to ask in a small voice but (Y/N) cut her off.
‘Would you two like to sit with us? We seemed to have ordered too much for just two people.’ (Y/N) said quickly.
The woman looked down at her daughter and nodded, the little girl sat down at the second table beside Ivar and began eating quickly while her mother sat beside (Y/N)
‘Thank you.’ the woman said quietly with wet eyes.
‘No need, eat up…what is your name?’ (Y/N) asked.
‘Cammy, this is my daughter Ciara. Say thank you Ciara.’ the woman replied meekly.
‘Thank you so much Miss.’ the little girl said eagerly, still eating.
Ivar had been donating to charities and attending charity events since he was a child but he had never met someone who was actively in need of help. In seeing it up close he realized he wasn’t doing enough locally.
(Y/N) dug in her bag and pulled out a pen and a tiny notebook, she tore out a page and quickly scribbled an address.
‘Go here when you are done eating, you can stay for as long as you need or as long as you want.’ she whispered to the woman.
Cammy didn’t look at the paper or accept it.
‘All the shelters are full, I already checked but thank you for the suggestion.’ she said sadly.
‘It’s not a shelter, it’s my apartment and you can have it. It’s only a one bedroom but it’s the best I can offer you.’ (Y/N) said, taking the woman’s dirty hand in her own and putting the address in her palm.
‘What?’ Cammy asked in disbelief.
Ivar was equally confused, was (Y/N) going to let two strangers live with her in a one bedroom apartment?
‘Well it seems I’m engaged now, so I will be moving in with my fiance, but I already paid the rent for this month and the lease isn’t up till next year. Why not let you stay for a while? The key is under the big pink rock by the door.’
Ivar quickly caught on to what was being said and looked at (Y/N) in shock.
‘You’re moving in?’ he asked.
‘Most couples live together for a while before they get married, right?’ (Y/N) asked, turning to Cammy for assurance.
The poor woman looked at the address then back at her daughter who was still enjoying her food and nodded.
‘I know I’m in no position to give advice, but I married my husband before I moved in, let’s just say he didn’t have the desire for a wife and child after all.’ Cammy said sadly before she looked Ivar up and down.
The poor woman leaned over and whispered secretively into (Y/N)’s ear, but the pajama girl smiled away her concerns.
‘I will, and we will stay in touch won’t we? You will let me visit from time to time?’ (Y/N) asked.
‘Of course, Miss.’
‘Call me (Y/N), if you’ve seen me demolish a taco we’re on the first name basis my friend.’ she laughed.
Her laugh seemed contagious because soon Cammy was laughing as well, then Ciara and finally even Ivar was in stitches.
‘I can’t remember my last laugh.’ Cammy sighed.
‘Well get ready to get reacquainted with your smile, after you get settled in I’m taking you out for drinks.'(Y/N) promised.
‘Boss!’
Everyone looked up and Ivar groaned inwardly as Heahmund approached the table, a vein throbbing on his forehead and red in his face.
‘I’ve had my ass handed to me as many times as I can stand, the shareholders are furious and will not leave until the meeting is addressed.’ the driver said irritably, only partially noticing Ivar’s unusual lunch guests.
‘Dammit, fine. (Y/N) take my card and order more tacos to go, enough for ten people, Heahmund will drive you to my office when everything is ready. I’ll get a cab and meet you there.’ Ivar said as he stood.
‘Tacos?’ the driver asked.
‘They are delicious, the perfect way to apologize for the delay; get her some clothes too in the meantime.’ he instructed before he bid his lunch guests farewell and left to find a cab.
‘I’m confused, why is she coming? I can just bring the tacos.’ Heahmund reasoned following behind his boss.
‘She’s gonna be my wife, she should get introduced to my colleagues. That’s why I need her well dressed, can you get it done?’
‘Your wife?’ Heahmund asked, eyes wide in shock.
‘I know, can’t believe she said yes.’ Ivar smiled as he got into a cab and left.
back on the patio; (Y/N) places the order, apologizing for the sudden large amount of work, but the worker merely thanked her eagerly and assured her it would be ready in forty five minutes.
Heahmund the driver informed her he would take her to buy a more appropriate outfit while the order was prepared.
‘Why? I have clothes just around the corner.’ she suggested, handing him Ivar's card and the receipt.
‘You’re bringing the tacos to Boss’s office, and those snobs would devour you without a designer label to shield you.’ he explained as he was setting aside the plate of tacos he’d finished.
‘Fine, but I hope you’re ready for an interrogation. I need to know a little more about my fiancé.’ she said.
Before they left she assured Cammy the apartment would be just a few minutes walk away and she would be calling later to set up a good night for drinks.
She followed Heahmund to the car and was flattered when he held the door for her.
‘Well, Heahmund, tell me about Ivar.’ she asked as they drove out of her neighborhood.
‘He is…sheltered. Not a recluse but he’s been kept in his rich circle all his life and the glamour never impressed him. He loves his twisted family and enjoys working…I think he’s a dick but I’m not marrying him.’ Heahmund said experimentally, wondering exactly how professional he had to be with her.
‘Valid. Any crazy ex I need to know about? If I’m gonna play housewife I need to know the full cast.’ she pressed on.
‘No, but he is a hot commodity in the snobby bitch circles. So just keep an eye out for high school bullying antics.’ he warned.
‘Noted.’ she nodded.
Heahmund glanced at her in his rear view mirror and wondered what exactly drew Ivar in so much. She was attractive, no denying it, but so were all the heiresses and Ivar never seemed swayed by looks anyhow. So what was it?
‘What actually is the deal with you lady? Why did you agree to Ivar’s ridiculous proposal?’ he asked bluntly.
‘He asked me to, it’s mutually beneficial and I don’t see any harm in it; or at least he hasn’t shown me anything in the past hour to make me think otherwise.’ (Y/N) replied in the same blunt tone.
A moment of silence passed.
‘He must be decent enough if you’re worried about me using him.’ she said finally.
‘He is my boss, but he’s a friend too. He can look out for himself well enough, but I’m gonna watch his back for him when he can’t.’ Heahmund replied seriously.
‘Ivar offered me compensation that we haven’t discussed yet; I agreed to marry him so he can get his inheritance and keep his mom off his back. That’s my deal, think of it like a green card marriage between strangers.’ she assured him casually as she looked out the window.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked.
‘The best boutique in the city, it’s up the street from the office. We’ll get you a styled while I get the food and I’ll pick you up after.’ he explained, parking before he got out of the car.
He walked to the other side to open her door, but she was already stepping out on her own.
In her own neighborhood she stood out, in the hustle and bustle of the elite she seemed to attract more attention than a flying hippo.
She didn’t notice the people staring at her as they passed by, she was still looking at the mannequins in the display window.
‘Did she just get out of bed? It’s afternoon?’ an old woman walking with what might have been her daughter said as she passed them.
‘Come on let’s hurry.’ Heahmund said, urgently escorting her inside the shop and out of the public before someone bolder could make trouble.
Inside the boutique was lavishly decorated with white marble floors and elegant displays of clothes and accessories, there was a low hanging chandelier that made the whole place shine like a diamond.
There was a checkout counter towards the back and Heahmund again herded (Y/N) towards it, and rang the bell for help.
A well dressed woman came from the back area and stood behind the register, she looked from Heahmund to the girl in pajamas. She made a quick face before plastering on her sales floor smile.
‘How can I help you?’ she asked.
‘She needs a stylist and makeup artist now, we have to be in the office as soon as possible.’ the driver explained quickly, fishing Ivar's card out of his pocket as he spoke.
(Y/N) looked behind the store clerk and could see two more girls peeping from the employee only area, they were giggling and one even seemed to be taking a picture with her phone.
‘Yes sir, I’ll put the card on file for the stylist services and the clothes will be charged seperate-’
‘Hold on, can I see the two in the back?’ (Y/N) interrupted.
‘Excuse me?’ the worker asked in confusion.
‘The two girls laughing and taking pictures of me behind you; I want them to come to the counter.’ she clarified.
Heahmund looked and noticed the two workers as they shamefully came out of their hiding spot.
‘I’m not upset about the laughing, I’m sure this is the first time someone has dared come in not wearing designer butt plugs. However, I don’t like photos being taken of me without my say so, delete it.’ she said calmly.
The workers all looked taken aback by the direct accusation.
‘I’m sorry ma’am, I was just…really interested in your pajamas. They are so cute.’ the girl said weakly as she fiddled with her phone.
‘I’m sure, anyway who is the stylist?’ Heahmund asked in annoyance.
‘Oh this is our stylist.’ the original clerk said, pointing to the girl who had taken the photo.
‘Cancel the stylist, just get me that pantsuit on display in my size and the makeup. No need to waste time or money on picking something.’ (Y/N) said to Heahmund.
The clerk sent the other rude employee to get the outfit in the correct size and offered to remove twenty percent of the total to compensate for her workers’ poor manners.
The stylist looked like she wanted to argue but a quick look from the clerk made her remember her surroundings.
‘Are you sure you want to cancel ma’am? It's always best to get personally styled to ensure your clothes suit you best.’ the stylist reasoned.
‘We’re in a rush, and personally I don’t see anything I’d want to wear more than once in here. Just the pantsuit is fine, but don’t worry, I’m sure you can afford to buy pajamas like mine even without the commission you would have gotten today.’
The worker came back with the pantsuit on a hanger and offered it silently.
‘The fitting rooms are just this way.’ the clerk said as she led (Y/N) away.
Heahmund watched in silent amusement as the two girls exchanged pouty looks before they each returned to work.
He was starting to see what had drawn in his uptight boss.