A kiss for mom? A kiss for mom.
From the second she left the forest, Cigyun always knew the gods would find a way to punish her.
Her gaze teeters along lifelessness– vacant and murky, like sort seen in the lakes she spent her younger years around, with every bit of depth seemingly lost to layers upon layers of filth. They at the ceiling but at nothing in particular as she lays atop the bed in her chambers, hands idly resting on her stomach. It is befitting of a duchess, to lounge around in such a manner, but Cigyun was never born to be connected to a title like that, and it was not as though she had made this decision on her own. No– after a sharp sound, and the second tears started to fall, despite her panicked denial of the latter truly happening, the woman was ordered to make her leave. To lock herself away until some sense makes it way back into her.
To Cigyun, it is understandable. Victor has never liked seeing her cry, and has always thought it to be upon the worst– and ugliest, she reminds herself– of sights. The moment it happens, the young mother knows there is even less of a chance that he will listen, but she cannot help it. Lately, everything has been too much– to see her husband, the love of her life, wooing other women and taking them back to his chambers, and yet find herself being disallowed from so much as speaking politely to another man. Being taken for granted, and not having her own distress over the situation understood– silenced by words or worse. It has been too long, and now, Cigyun finds herself without the will to fight back, even a little. She has grown tired.
She has grown tired of the arguing. Tired of being yelled at; tired of being ordered to explain herself, only for her words to quickly be drowned out by his own uncorroborated anger. Tired of–
Before such a train of thought could finish itself, the mother feels a kiss being pressed to her forehead. For a moment, she freezes– for a moment, dull eyes almost spark to life–, until she finds the will to slightly move her head, and look at the one who stands beside her. He must have slipped in while she was lost in thought, Cigyun remarks to herself. After all, Arvis has always had a strange knack for knowing when she is upset. The corners of pale lips twitch, as if trying to form a smile, but without the energy to do so right at this moment, but the heaviness plaguing her heart does lift a little. He is a sweet child, always wishing to lift her mood when their roles should never be switched around in that way– a boy should not have to comfort his own mother. Another of her shortcomings, the duchess supposes, but that list has been growing ever so long as of late. Grey eyes are quick to water again, and her head rolls back up so she might stare at the ceiling once more, and keep herself together. A tear or so falls regardless.
‘You should not have to see me like this,’ are the words the mother desperately wishes to add on, yet she finds her voice too deflated and frail to push out anything more than that. Besides, in a brief moment of thought, Cigyun realises that it would also be far too cruel to say to a child Arvis’ age– too heavy; too upsetting. He did not come here to see his mother wallow in her sorrow, feeling sorry for herself– silently contemplating if she has made the right choices, or what the Gods, or Victor, might do next. That same empty gaze moves once more, resting on her son’s own, but much more lively, eyes. She loves him, dearly– in truth, Cigyun would wager that he is the only real reason, other than paralysing fear, as to why she has not tried to run away from it all. Yet it is hard to the energy to do more than force a smile onto sickeningly pale features, even though the mother wants to do nothing more than hold her child close and tell him not to worry. That she is fine, despite the red blotches under her eyes; despite the tears that unconsciously continue to fall; despite the mark that so slowly shifts from a an angry red to a deeper, darker purple.
“You need not worry about me so. I… I will be fine. Please, Arvis…”
At the expense of her words, the woman finally moves, hands digging into the duvet and arms trembling from the force as she attempts to push herself into a position on her side. By no means is Cigyun anything heavier than a feather– albeit, not necessarily in a good way–, and yet, it feels as though all the weight in the world resides on her shoulders and an indescribable force tries to push the mother down. It feels like than eternity, to get herself into such a simple position, and yet, even when she reach forwards to pull her son into some sort of embrace, the furthest quivering hands make it to is his cheeks, where they gently rest.
“…Seeing you so worried saddens me.”