shane and ilya are such good mirrors for each other in this show!!! yes ilya is causing shane emotional damage on levels previously unknown to mankind. but from ilya’s perspective, shane is perfect. he excels at hockey, he’s polite and not an asshole, he can speak english, he has a close and loving family and no daddy issues, he’s handsome (even svetlana thinks so), he has money and gets attention from brands, he’s good in bed. when ilya says shane is boring he means he is PERFECT because nothing about shane’s life is a problem. meanwhile ilya has been told he is a problem from day 1 by his own family nonetheless. he can’t even IMAGINE a reality where shane could feel for him, could love him, could want more with him because ilya is a PROBLEM. ofc he crashes out so hard when shane gets with rose because that right there is perfect!!! she is not a problem and ilya just can’t get his head out of his ass and realize that shane has (probably) been big-brown-eyes in LOVE with him for YEARS because how??? how could someone so perfect ever love someone so imperfect.
god i LOVE the idea that ilya buys into the shane hollander "brand" just like everyone else. shane really is living in a ~fortress of solitude~ and it's the solitude of everyone expecting you to be perfect all the time & not allowing you the space to be a messy, complex human being with your own unmet needs. ilya's been sleeping with shane for years and he STILL to some extent sees shane as shane hollander, public figure, because ilya is allergic to emotional intimacy and is never going to be the one asking shane questions about his inner life. he has no idea how lonely and overwhelmed shane feels. and i feel like this would also play into how ilya justifies his own actions re: shane to himself. like is he aware that he's messing with shane's head with his whole push-pull, hot then cold thing? probably yes, on some level. he saw shane crying in a bathroom about it. but can't you just see ilya having this unconscious belief that he can't really do damage to shane hollander because shane has it all: perfect life, perfect family, perfect image. whatever ilya does will roll right off him. therefore he doesn't have to feel guilty, he doesn't have to be careful with shane, etc etc (although of course he DOES feel guilty, and he does try in his fumbling way to be careful... he's just really fucking bad at it).
the part where i will diverge from you is: i don't think shane's been in love with him for years! i think shane definitely has feelings for him but i read shane's freak-out moment in the couch scene as the first time he's like, i could love this person if i'm not careful. i might actually already love this person. and that realization comes crashing down on shane RIGHT on the heels of ilya telling him that they're not serious and that he, ilya, will continue fucking other people, with the strong implication that he prefers women on the whole. i think that's why shane is like i have to get out of here. you are fucking with my head/heart and i can't do this.
